As you can probably tell by how long I’ve been a member here, I’ve been considering VSG for a long time. My husband has never exactly been on-board with it; he’s naturally very thin, and can eat whatever he wants without gaining any substantial weight. Since he’s never really been willing to hear me out on VSG, I’ve tried everything else under the sun to try and get my weight under control. In 2011 I did Medifast. Over the year, I managed to lose 100 pounds. Over the next year and a half, I managed to gain back every last pound.

I talked to my husband last night again about VSG, and he was not terribly supportive of the idea (as usual). He doesn’t like the idea of me having surgery, and he is also of the opinion this is somehow taking the easy way out and I should be able to just do this on my own. He feels like I “quit” on Medifast, and that we wasted money because I gained it all back. I tried to explain to him that it’s not losing weight that’s the problem…it’s keeping it off. I’ve tried and tried, and I *can’t* stay a normal weight. I am just not able.

I’m not a snacker, and I don’t eat a bunch of junk food. I’m a vegetarian (15 years), don’t have high cholesterol, etc. My problem is the speed and quantity at which I eat. If my husband and I are having pizza, I will be on my 4^th slice by the time he’s finishing his first. I literally inhale my food. I don’t chew, I don’t wait for it to cool, and I eat so quickly and so voluminously that I feel ill. I’ve tried to consciously slow down, but even my “slow” is fast to most people. And I don’t know the meaning of the word “full.”

Through all my research, it seems like VSG would be the best option for me because it would force me to slow down (lest I get sick!), and I physically won’t be able to hold as much food. I know you can “eat around” the sleeve, but like I said I’m not a big snacker or junk food eater so I don’t worry about that so much. I feel like the sleeve would be a good tool to help me control my portions and give me that sense of when to stop that I’m *supposed* to have.

Since my husband feels like I “quit” at Medifast, he thinks I’m going to “quit” on the sleeve. He thinks I’ll just gain it all back, and we’ll have “wasted” all that money. I know he wants to be supportive and he wants me to have something that works, but he just doesn’t know what it’s like to have a problem with food. It’s impossible to understand if you haven’t been there. But he raises a good point, and one I feel is fair to ask—how IS this different from Medifast or anything else I’ve tried? Will it just end up being another “waste of money”? How will this help me succeed where other plans haven’t?

Please, any insight you can provide would be so appreciated. I just want to be healthy again.

If he'd rather spend double to stay in the US, then ok! Stop worrying about the $.

You are making a brave and courageous choice and, being who I am, I'd tell him so. I'd also tell him that I need his support and encouragement, and if he can't give me that, then I need his silence. Negativity is poison to the soul. You can't afford that while recovering.

Oops, my bad. Brain fade.

I think he'll be supportive once I get it done, but it's just getting there that's difficult. He's naturally a very skeptical and anxious person, and the idea of spending money on something and not having it work is just really overwhelming to him. I have a strong tendency to have a lot of ideas about life in general, and then quit when I lose interest. He's reasonably worried that I'll do that with this, too. I was so happy when I lost the 100 pounds--if I could kick my own butt for putting the weight back on, I would. I wish he realized how difficult it is to say "I need help", and that's exactly what I'm doing by wanting this surgery. I am strong-willed and I get what I want in life, but for some reason obesity is the one thing I can't get a hold on. I'm asking for help--I wish he saw it that way.

I'm attaching a collage of pics from before and after when I did Medifast. I'm pretty well back to the "before" again :(

I would call your insurance company. Don't speak to member services, speak to a precertification department... They would be able to look at your plan specifically and let you know... Tell them your current weight and BMI and they can let you know whats covered (if anything at all) and what is required (again if anythign at all) for approval. I am only saying this because my plan looked like it excluded Bariatric Surgery but after calling and speaking directly to the precertification dept I found out they didnt... Whats the worst they can tell you..."Sorry It is not a covered service under your plan" Best case sererio "yes it is covered and by your BMI you are an eligable canidate... This is what you need to do..."

Also if you find a surgeon's office local to you their insurance coordinator maybe able to tell you if it is covered, they have experience calling the insurance company and know what questions to ask and who to ask them to.

I know my inital consultation with my surgeon was free...

Try, it can't hurt!

And as for convincing your Husband this is different then anything else, I would show him this site... We are all real people who have like you tried and failed at a million diets... I am sure you can find people who will share their story about how this surgery changed their lives with him directly... I would be willing to share for you!

Good Luck!

Sorry, I just realized my spelling and grammar was AWFUL in my previous post, I typed quickly!

I guess the lady who got her insurance to bend was lucky. My insurance has the same exclusions. No exceptions. Not covered. I even got 2 of "seen them on tv, we can get your insurance to pay" dr's and no go. Excluded.

I live and had my surgery in Dallas. There are lots of top bariatric surgeons in the area. The average price is $11-13k, all inscusive in this area. Mine was $12,200. Out the door, pre op testiing, hospital, OR, the whole shebang. It can be very affordable stateside if your husband is of that mindset. That was the choice my husband and I made. We are very happy with it. That said, you will find many folks here who have traveled to Mexico and paid far less. They seem very happy with their choice as well.

You say your hubby won't hear of Mexico but there are many good stateside options as well. Good luck, sounds like he will be a hard sell.

p.s. I've been married for well over 30 years to the same guy. Sometimes, it's easier to get forgiveness than permission. Just sayin.....

At this point, I think the biggest thing is going to be getting financing. That's really the wildcard!

I guess the lady who got her insurance to bend was lucky. My insurance has the same exclusions. No exceptions. Not covered. I even got 2 of "seen them on tv, we can get your insurance to pay" dr's and no go. Excluded.

p.s. I've been married for well over 30 years to the same guy. Sometimes, it's easier to get forgiveness than permission. Just sayin.....

I don't know if this was in reference to my post and I am just putting a disclaimer bc I know how things can be misread, I am not being sarcastic or snotty with my comment that I am about to make, and I didn't take your comment as snarky either... I am just going to clairify so maybe it will help someone else...

My insurance company did not "bend"... I did not convince someone at my insurance company to allow me to have surgery. It was just the way my plan was written... It looked to the member services dept that WLS was an exclusion to my plan, however I work in the insurance field and I know sometimes those reps dont know what to look for so I went directly to the precert dept...Those reps looked at my plan directly and the codes for the surgery and it was something that was covered bc of my BMI...

Also I agree with the last part of your post about sometimes it being easier to beg forgiveness rather then permisson! This is my mantra with my husband for shoe purchases lol!!!

At this point, I think the biggest thing is going to be getting financing. That's really the wildcard!

What about borrowing from your 401K? I've seen many people on this site mention that they were able to borrow for medical purposes.

What about borrowing from your 401K? I've seen many people on this site mention that they were able to borrow for medical purposes.

I don't have a 401k. I'm a government employee, so all my retirement is through the state retirement program.

I don't have a 401k. I'm a government employee, so all my retirement is through the state retirement program.

Sorry!

I know, it's like I have a roadblock at every turn! I'm determined to make this work, though!

I know, it's like I have a roadblock at every turn! I'm determined to make this work, though!

Good Luck!

I know this sleeve was a lifesaver / life changer for me. I truly hope everything works out for you~

Fingers crossed!

I don't know if this was in reference to my post and I am just putting a disclaimer bc I know how things can be misread, I am not being sarcastic or snotty with my comment that I am about to make, and I didn't take your comment as snarky either... I am just going to clairify so maybe it will help someone else...

My insurance company did not "bend"... I did not convince someone at my insurance company to allow me to have surgery. It was just the way my plan was written... It looked to the member services dept that WLS was an exclusion to my plan, however I work in the insurance field and I know sometimes those reps dont know what to look for so I went directly to the precert dept...Those reps looked at my plan directly and the codes for the surgery and it was something that was covered bc of my BMI...

Also I agree with the last part of your post about sometimes it being easier to beg forgiveness rather then permisson! This is my mantra with my husband for shoe purchases lol!!!

I was actually referring to squeakywheel and wasn't intending to it be snarky, I was genuine in my statement. Sorry if it came across that way. Was not my intention at all. You are right though, it's all in the way the policy is written. For most total exclusions they are inserted at the request of the employer to keep costs down, much in the way several other procedures can be excluded. Have a friend who needed breast reduction, for true medical reasons and it's excluded at the request of the employer, strictly to keep costs down, so it's really not the insurance companies, it's the cheap ass employers (ok, THAT last statement was meant to be snarky!)

@Hathery, most surgeon offices work with some companies that specialize in medical financing. You may want to check that out.

I was actually referring to squeakywheel and wasn't intending to it be snarky, I was genuine in my statement. Sorry if it came across that way. Was not my intention at all. You are right though, it's all in the way the policy is written. For most total exclusions they are inserted at the request of the employer to keep costs down, much in the way several other procedures can be excluded. Have a friend who needed breast reduction, for true medical reasons and it's excluded at the request of the employer, strictly to keep costs down, so it's really not the insurance companies, it's the cheap ass employers (ok, THAT last statement was meant to be snarky!)

@Hathery, most surgeon offices work with some companies that specialize in medical financing. You may want to check that out.

I didn't take your post as snarky either... I just know how lately things on this site seem to get misread and I didn't want anyone to read my post the wrong way or think I took theirs the wrong way, it didnt come off as snarky at all