I was wondering why a lot of people want to keep there surgery a secret? I'm just starting my journey and am still in the testing phase. I thought about telling everyone and their grandmother about my surgery but, I see people wanting to keep it secret. I was hoping some of you could share with me why because I want to make an informed decision and maybe I haven't considered the down side of it.Looking to be enlightened. Thanks

Once you tell someone you can't untell.

Once you tell someone you can't untell.

So true!

I tell everyone. If I could shout it from the roof tops, I probably would. This surgery has given me my life back. I honestly don't think I would have survived more than a couple of years without surgery and to be honest, I'm not sure I would have wanted to continue living as I was. It hasn't all been easy, but I have lost 168 pounds total including 54 pounds in the couple of months prior to surgery. I can stand and walk again, I'm not afraid of chairs any more, I am off almost all meds. I can put on my socks and tie my shoes with ease. I have dropped 7 - 8 sizes, lost 22 inches from my waist and 6 inches from my neck. I feel so much better physically and emotionally. Seeing a therapist for help dealing with my food issues and other issues, and having this surgery are the best things I've ever done, I can't keep it to myself. As others have said, its a personal decision that each of us must make, and be comfortable with.

I chose to tell only a few people close to me then told my hr manager and three of the female managers that im very close with. Now everyone knows and is making judgments my co manager told me today that I better be prepared to throw up the rest of my life because that's what it does to everyone. I wish I would have told no one now.

I told EVERYBODY. Posted it all over FB. Because i was so happy. And didn't give a **** what anybody thought about it .

I told everyone. I haven't had my surgery yet, but I posted it on facebook when I got my date. I'm so excited I honestly don't care that much what people think. They can either support me, or take their negativity elsewhere.

In the planning phase, I only told my partner.

Leading up to the surgery, I told my grown sons and a few trusted friends.

Day after surgery, I told my extended family via an email with instructions that their support was welcome, but if they weren't comfortable with it, to please keep it to themselves since it was too late anyway haha. Most were VERY supportive. The silence from a few was noticable, but they all came around in a few months when they saw I was healthy and losing weight.

Now, I tell anybody that has the vaguest interest....lol

I have lots of reasons for this but part of it is that I tried everything under the sun to lose weight and with a BMI over 50 I was in a bad situation. I now get alot of "hot mama" hubba hubba kind of remarks from friends and family and I know I have been an inspiration to others. It is also part of my accountablility plan. No more secrets no shame - i am just rocking the sleeve and dealing with a serious medical problem I had - obesity.

my husband is the only one that knows, he says its better that way, people are mean and always want to put others down. the less people knows the better.

The first person I told was my physician. He had such a negative reaction that I left there feeling like a worthless piece of #%?! It took me just over three months to mentally recover from that appointment. Once I did pick myself up off the ground and decide to find a new doctor It was almost 6 months. I only told my close family once I had already paid and had that surgery date booked. I didn't want anyone else's rude comments effecting my thought processes. since I have returned form my surgery I have told everyone that has asked how I am loosing all of this weight that I am working my butt off, eating properly and that I had gastric surgery. I have not encountered one negative comment since returning, not to my face at least good luck with whatever you decide

I told EVERYONE I could. I even put it on Facebook. I don't have friends that judge me, if I did they wouldn't be my friends. As such, I have nothing to hide. I want support from my friends and to get that I had to let them know what I was doing. So that's why I spoke out. I have no shame in what I've done so I see no point in hiding it.

I also spent time talking with people that did have questions and educating them on how hard this could be and that this was just as tough as any diet and exercise program. Then I backed that up by doing those things. They see how my food intake and food types have changed so they see the diet portion and then they know I hit the Gym almost daily so they see the exercise program. They know it is exactly the same as if I didn't have the surgery. So there has never been a question of "easy way out."

I've been pretty open about it with the people around me. Most are supportive, some don't seem to know what to say, and a very few have given me a look that suggests they think I'm taking the easy way out. Bahahahaha! What morons they are. Hopefully the next time they eat to their heart's content they will choke on it!

I told close family and friends before surgery, and have told more people since then. Part of that is to explain my habits changing, and my body changing. I'm not ashamed of my decision. It was the right choice for me, and so far everyone has been super supportive. I think I'd feel guilty if I said it was just diet and exercise, personally, but that's just my reaction because I wouldn't feel as if that were the truth for me. Everyone has different comfort levels. Do what feels right for you. I know that being totally honest for me, might give other people a role model or show them another option that they could have. It doesn't need to be taboo in my opinion.

I have always been an extremely private person. So keeping my surgery to myself was kind of a no brainer. I generally do not share personal information with co-workers, ever.

When I decided to have the surgery, I told my parents...and they tried to talk me out of it. When I told my parents, surgery was already scheduled and I was two weeks pre-op so they got on board and fully supported me. They have been amazing ever since...but they usually are amazing. I did not tell my sister or friends.

Maybe I will one day....who knows. I am not ashamed of my decision but I don't believe it is anyone's business. Frankly, I only told my folks because it was surgery, and I had never had surgery.

The first person I told was my physician. He had such a negative reaction...

I had the same experience.

The first person I told that I was thinking about the surgery was my orthopedic surgeon, the same man who had been telling me every month for over a year to lose weight in order to remove some of the pressure on my bad knee. His reaction? "What, are you crazy?" No kidding.

I had such a long-standing relationship with him that I decided not to find another doctor but to try and understand what his concerns were about the operation. He explained that as a doctor it seemed crazy to him to remove a healthy and essential organ from anyone other than a corpse during an autopsy. That was more than two years ago. Based on my results, he is now a very big fan of the operation and recommends it to all his overweight and obese patients.

Part of my doctor's negative reaction was based on the fact that I was not morbidly obese at the time of the operation. He felt that I had given up too quickly on dieting. If I hadn't had physical complications from the weight, I would have had difficulty finding a US surgeon to perform the operation. I actually gained a few more pounds deliberately to push myself from a BMI of 34 to just over 35 in order to qualify medically after the first surgeon advised that I didn't quality for a VSG but that he could give me the gastric band instead (and I knew that I didn’t want that). Unfortunately, exercise was not an option because of a serious knee injury. I went from being a trophy winning athlete to becoming an invalid overnight and I couldn't adjust to that mentally. The more depressed I got, the more I ate and the fatter I got, the more depressed I got. It was a vicious cycle. Seventy-eight pounds and one knee surgery later, I am no longer in pain most of the time and am able to walk slowly.

Based on my orthopedic surgeon's reaction, I decided to tell no one except a few select members of the immediate family (and even that I now regret). I figured if an educated man had trouble understanding my decision than what chance did I have of regular people understanding it? Unlike others, I do care what other people think, especially if I have to work and deal with them every day.

Because I was about 65-70 pounds overweight when I had the surgery, only my initial weight loss of 35 pounds was immediately noticeable. As I lost the rest of the weight, no one seemed to notice--at last no one made any comments. Everyone assumed that the weight I lost was because of dieting and that's how I left it (I had my surgery during my summer vacation, so I never missed any time from work).

Weight loss surgery patients need to do what is in their best interest and what makes them most comfortable. Truth is I feel more comfortable telling restaurant managers, strangers I will never see again, about my surgery when asked why I hardly touched my meal than I would telling anyone I work with. The guys at work are not exactly what you'd call the touchy-feely types and I would catch a lot of crap from them over the fact that I took "the easy way out". I don't need that. I still catch grief from my wife's sister and her husband every time we get together for the holidays. "You're too thin now. That doctor should be sued for giving you the operation. You just should have cut back on the cake and ice cream".

In the end, it's not really anyone's business but mine. I wouldn't go around volunteering that I had a vasectomy or tummy tuck either (not that I had these, I'm just saying).

Everyone's situation is different. I have a strong feeling that people who are morbidly obese and super obese (BMIs over 40 and 50) before the surgery will receive a lot more understanding, encouragement, and support than those who enter the operation with BMIs under 40. Most people today struggle with their weight and may become threatened if they hear about your surgery and didn't think you were "that fat" to begin with. It's a lot easier for overweight people to call you crazy than to start asking themselves what they plan to do about their own weight problem.

Just use your best judgment and do what's best for you.