My husband is starting to get really annoyed about my decision I mean he says it's up to me it's my life and my body but now I've booked a date his attitude is changing. Tonight he barely spoke to me and I actually think he is getting jealous that I'm going to change so much that people will start to notice me more and maye I won't want him. Weightloss can be difficult to navigate with partners I've been here before with him when I lost a lot of weight on weight watchers and he didn't like the attention I used to get from men in some ways it's easier to stay fat than put up with the jealous comments!

My husband said if it were him he would NOT have surgery.

He loves to go out to eat and fears that we will never go out again.

My surgery is two weeks away, but so far my hubby has been incredibly understanding. It helps that he is fit and muscular, so the idea that I might be joining him in fitness probably appeals greatly. But he has said to me, more than once, that he hopes I don't change, and that I don't leave him, and not to focus so much on my appearance because it is what's inside that matters. He tries to say these things lightly, but I know they indicate his vulnerability. And in a lot of cases it is true that wls changes a person; perhaps they become more confident, more self-assured, more outspoken and less likely to "sit there and take it". When you start investing in yourself, doing something just for you, other folks in your life might feel that you are being selfish. I say try to reassure him as much as you can, but stress how important this is to you, and how much you need HIM. His love. His support. His understanding. His patience. Try to make your husband your partner and ally, instead of an outsider helplessly watching you change. Now, if that doesn't work, and he is just determined to be bitter and unhappy, then I say let him be! Staying fat just to appease him is not any way to live your life.

My hubby has been amazing! He was concerned at first, thought it was a drastic step....but after he realized I was serious & wanted it he even put me on his insurance because mine didn't cover WLS. He also needs to loose weight, so he is living my high protein low carb lifestyle change & has lost about 35lbs! Changing together has been a blast!

My husband did support, and still does. He supported me when I was at my heaviest and did nothing but gain weight. He supported me in every fad diet, as I spent our money trying to lose. He supported me 15 years ago as I considered RNY, and then when I decided against it because I didn't have health issues. He supported me through the surgery, and now he does so for my exercise and changed eating habits. He even tells me how good I look, even though I see the saggy truth! I don't think I give him enough credit, because as I typed this, I realized how lucky I am.

One thing, though...he did go to the seminar with me, and he heard about divorce rates after surgery/weight loss. He jokingly said he might not want me to do it because I might leave him! I do think there is a certain amount of uncertainty when one partner changes dramatically.

My wife losing weight and getting even more attractive was an extra incentive for me to pour on the effort to increase my hotness quotient. I'm pretty happy with myself, no worries about her.

Men, don't sit back and whine like babies, ...compete!

My wife losing weight and getting even more attractive was an extra incentive for me to pour on the effort to increase my hotness quotient. I'm pretty happy with myself, no worries about her.

Men, don't sit back and whine like babies, ...compete!

Not fair gman...men always loose faster then women! :-/

My husband has supported me always. Even while my weight was spiralling out of control and I was feeling helpless. The only concern he expressed when I first broached the weightloss surgery with him was the risk that goes along with any surgical procedure you have. I thought long and hard about the decision to have surgery and kept him in the loop through all of it. When I decided to go ahead with the surgery and went through my list of reasons why, he told me he understood, he would be supportive and he just wanted me to be happy. He went to an appointment or two with me. He asked questions and I think this helped him through this process as well and got him comfortable with it. He has also decided to try and get in better shape and has given up his Dr. Peppers!!! I adore him and I absolutely love him to death and I consider myself very lucky!!!

My husband fully supported me. He was overweight before I met him. He lost 150 with diet and exercise and continued to for about 10 yrs. He saw me cry before any kind of family gathering, wedding, really anything. He saw me struggle and know a beat myself up because of my weight and the reactions it put on me. He is my biggest cheerleader and had helped me soooo much.

And he did the liquid diet with me for 10 days. He modified it with fruit and veggies in his shakes. Post op I caught him eating a salad all by himself in the laundry room so he wouldn't make me feel bad because I couldn't eat lol. Poor guy

My husband was completely supportive even when I had second thoughts about spending the money. He used money from his retirement to pay for the part of my surgery not covered by insurance. He took excellent care of me at the hospital and the few days we had to stay near the hospital after surgery. I know he couldn't have been happy about how I looked at my heaviest, but he never said anything to make me feel bad. Just wants me to be healthy so we can get our life back. He's a great husband and I am lucky to have him.

Not fair gman...men always loose faster then women! :-/

I wasn't referring to competing with your wife, I meant competing with any possible other guy that would catch her eye. It is common in nature for the male to strut his stuff to impress the female and beat out the other males so we have to work on our strut.

I wasn't referring to competing with your wife, I meant competing with any possible other guy that would catch her eye. It is common in nature for the male to strut his stuff to impress the female and beat out the other males so we have to work on our strut.

Oh, ok, I understand! I just know I get ticked at my hubby cause I had my stomach cut off & he can still keep up with me in weight loss!! :-/

Oh, ok, I understand! I just know I get ticked at my hubby cause I had my stomach cut off & he can still keep up with me in weight loss!! :-/

Yup, it was like that for us for quite a while when we dieted before surgery. I would lose faster than her. But after my prostate cancer treatment I lost the ability to lose weight and ballooned up real good. Weight loss surgery brought us both down to goal, actually at about the same rate! It's the muscle mass that makes the difference. I never yet have been able to get my muscle mass back after hormone treatment, (Lupron), blasted my testosterone all to heck. But what I have is looking more ripped all the time.

How blessed I am to have a wonderfully supportive husband! He loves the attention and comments I'm getting. He just had a hip replacement 2 weeks ago and having his other hip done in 3 weeks! So now it's my turn to support him!!! And happy and proud to do it too!!!

My surgery is two weeks away' date=' but so far my hubby has been incredibly understanding. It helps that he is fit and muscular, so the idea that I might be joining him in fitness probably appeals greatly. But he has said to me, more than once, that he hopes I don't change, and that I don't leave him, and not to focus so much on my appearance because it is what's inside that matters. He tries to say these things lightly, but I know they indicate his vulnerability. And in a lot of cases it is true that wls changes a person; perhaps they become more confident, more self-assured, more outspoken and less likely to "sit there and take it". When you start investing in yourself, doing something just for you, other folks in your life might feel that you are being selfish. I say try to reassure him as much as you can, but stress how important this is to you, and how much you need HIM. His love. His support. His understanding. His patience. Try to make your husband your partner and ally, instead of an outsider helplessly watching you change. Now, if that doesn't work, and he is just determined to be bitter and unhappy, then I say let him be! Staying fat just to appease him is not any way to live your life.[/quote']

I REALY wish we were going at the same time!! You are awesome ???? and yes a guy shouldn't get all worried you'll leave him - he should step up and treat a woman like a princess so you have no reason to!