Arguments

[Jesser 295]

So, I just had an argument with my Mother, AGAIN, about having the sleeve surgery. Her side of the argument is that it's not a good idea to remove part of my stomach because I may need it later on in life. She also said that it may effect other organs, or if I was to get diabetes later on, don't I need my stomach to help break down sugars in my body? I have a freakin headache now because of all of this. I'm still standing behind my decision to do this though! She also said that if she was to have surgery, she wouldn't Go as drastic as having the sleeve but the Lapband. I told her she would change her mind if she researched it a little bit lol anyway, does anyone have any words of advice that I could tell her? Especially about the long term effects of the sleeve... What are your opinions on that?

[ChristenOnAmission 27]

Tell her you love her and are greatful for her concerns but as your mother you need her support.

[NewKristen 356]

Just be confident in your decision. This is your life, as long as you are happy and confident in the decision...everyone else will have to get over it.

I also wouldn't argue with her. If she tries, give her information (printed off the Internet - whatever you can find) that supports why you chose this procedure. But obstain from arguing with her. If she doesn't have an open mind, there isn't anything you can say to change her. It wi just frustrate you, because you are the one who is educated and aware...and you are trying to argue with someone who isn't.

[Geminidrive 389]

Take her with you to a dr. Appt she can ask these same questions and the surgeon can answer them.

[SerendipityHappens 1,594]

Ok, mother.. How about, I won't try to convince you to have the surgery, and you won't try to convince me not to. I know you are concerned, but my physician and several other well qualified doctors have highly recommended this treatment for me and my research agrees with their recommendation. Getting this surgery is kind of like getting your gallbladder out.. Ideally you really should have your gallbladder, it serves a purpose, but once it starts working against you, it's in the best interest of your health to have it removed. It's definitely not something for everyone. But I'm doing this in the best interest of my own health so please don't ask me to go against my doctor's recommendation, mountains of research, and my own instincts about my body.

[Debbie Neff 6]

Good answer!

[Andi 78]

When I met with my surgeon we discussed why I had chosen the sleeve over the other options. I told him that I had ruled out lap band, which was my original preference, after seeing not especially great results in other people with it. He said that people sometimes choose lap band due to the initial risk being lower, but in the long run there's many cases of it slipping. So in the long run, it has it's complications as well.

At my hospital they have monthly support group meetings. I haven't attended one, but we were advised that if we had family members with concerns and/or questions that this would be helpful for them as well. I had a couple appointments that we were told that it was the patient only (mostly due to space constraint) but every other appointment (and I've had many...) I'm pretty sure I could have family with me. I think this would probably be the best type thing to put her mind at ease a bit. Researching the surgery & diabetes online might help, but .. it's the internet.. you can find all kinds of crazy junk on there

[Jesser 295]

Take her with you to a dr. Appt she can ask these same questions and the surgeon can answer them.

Well, that's another thing, I'm going to Mexico to have it done. And again, she hasn't done any research on this so she's assuming how its going to be there. I know how it sounds, but it's completely safe to go there. I just can't get it through her head. But I guess you all are right, it doesn't matter. It's my body and I want to do this whether she supports me or not

[HoosierGirl 780]

I had some of the same from my Mom. Ultimately, we had a very direct discussion and it ended with 'I love you' and agreeing to disagree. I was also a Mexico Sleever and for her, that was added insult to the injury. Now, she tells me how nice I look and just wants to be sure I am feeling good. Hopefully, she will come around.

Sometimes people who love you give well intentioned advice they don't know isn't very good. You have done your research. Maybe it's something you don't to talk with her further about? I know..it's your Mom, but maybe you could avoid the topic?