Family can be so hurtful.I am on day 10 of my pre op it hasn't been easy but for the most part I am doing really good even my mother noticed the other day.Well today we were talking and the conservation as it always does became an argument..but the hurtful part is when she told me to "go get something to eat".(I didn't but told her that was pretty low of a blow)I do not need this emotional turmoil right now.

You did this for yourself, no one else. Don't argue and do what you need to do for you!!!

I know it's hard when words like that come from family, but try to let it just roll of your back and think about how much healthier you're going to be. Good luck with your family.

Ok not knowing the dynamics of your family maybe this was said out of habit. I know my mother uses food as a comfort and a way of showing us she loves us (so wrong we all know that). But just as our overeating is a habit we are changing they need to learn the comments that hurt us. They won't know unless we tell them. You have to have a tough conversation with your mom especially if this bothers you. Tell her why you are doing it and involve her in some way, perhaps they are feeling left out. I have found that ignorance can be one of the biggest reasons for resistence. I truely believe that it will work itself out especially when they start to see the results. Good Luck

This is a good time to stand up for yourself and let your mother know that this is not acceptable.....Do not use you messages, make the statement like, "Mom, it really hurts me when you tell me to go get something to eat when we have an argument." Say it in a loving caring way and set a good boundary. It's hard to recognize triggers to our over eating and this is a good time to start. It's gonna be hard but say it and then walk away and self soothe yourself by taking a walk...... This is the beginning of a new journey to a more healthier relationship with family and food. You can do this. Sometimes it good to get a therapist that can teach you new coping skills and be a healthy support system for you.

OMG I do hear you. I have the same problem with a friend of mine who is to be my support system. I have decided to keep my distance for a while but that is hard to do when it is your mother. Good Luck.

Thanks everyone...hanging tough March 1st surgery...

Hurtful

My Mom announced my surgery to the family after Refusing to ever discuss it with me. I mistakingly told her just in case I didn't make it through surgery. I blew a gasket when I found out. I had swore her to secrecy. She is a walking

Live Facebook!

But I can't go into surgery with undo stress and anger I'm through with that drama. Learning to let things roll off my back. Looking forward to my surgery and the benefits.

But I will not discuss it with anyone I didn't tell!!

Unfortunately, sometimes you have to put your foot down and stand firm. My mother isn't on board with the idea, but I told her how much it is going to help me. While she still isn't completely ok with it (and truthfully, I don't think she ever will be), she is making arrangements to come help take care of my 2 year old son for 6 to 8 weeks after I'm sleeved.

Your mom may have issues with it, but I think she will come around, especially when she realizes she had no choice. Hope things get better!

Thanks Khole

she lives out of town and is driving in.

Time and love will surpass all of this! Good luck and don't be stressed

I'm so sorry to hear this but it is one of the reasons why just my husband and teen/adult children know. My mom will not understand it and just isn't capable of not talking about it with other people.

It happens, and may happen again. At 5 months out and getting close to -70 lbs, I get comments like "you are going to blow away" and "eat a hamburger!"

I still have 38 lbs to go till goal.

Go on ahead and get a few responses ready. I don't think people mean anything evil by it. They think they are giving a compliment. Thicken your emotional skin.

I say things like...

really? or

I wish! or

wink at them

I'm so sorry to hear this but it is one of the reasons why just my husband and teen/adult children know. My mom will not understand it and just isn't capable of not talking about it with other people.

Thanks

Keep the faith and only listen to yourself and what your instincts tell you!!!

Ugh, my husband did this once and it really set me off in a foul mood. It was a one time thing though, we are having some external stressors right now so I don't hold it against him, for the most part he is a sweety and we are good for each other.

I think you have to ask yourself basically the same thing. You said you guys argue but is it usually serious where you end up hurt or is it more minor things? If these people are truely causing you stress on a regular basis it might be time to pull away from them for a while. You have to get your mind right, and if you are being berated and told to "go eat" to me thats a sign that they see you as some kind of junkie who can't be pleasant without your vice, like the drunk who clearly has a problem but everyone lets it go because he's the life of the party.