So I've done all the research (ok granted maybe a little too much) and I'm about 2 months out from my surgery date (April 15) and technically I'm still pending insurance approval but I'm taking all the steps and going through the process full steam ahead. I've definitely gone through a roller coaster of emotions since starting this journey, and I still get mixed emotions everyday. But I guess where im at now is the "fear" stage. I'm constantly thinking about complications, leaks, structure, infection, etc. I'm spending hours researching horror stories of things gone wrong and the aftermath of complications. I realize that with any surgery there are always risks and one must decide of the benefits will outweigh the risks. I guess that's the point I'm at now. I'm a lower bmi. I'm 31 years old, 238lbs and bmi of 37. I have a about 80lbs to lose to be considered at a healthy weight for my height. But I also have high blood pressure (for about 3 years controlled by medicine) and high cholesterol. My weight history has shown a consistent failure at conventional weight loss attempts and I progressively gain 8-10 lbs a year. So my fear is if I DON'T get the surgery I could end up weighting 50lbs more in 5 years. I know that this surgery is the answer (and I know it's not the "easy way out" and it takes work and the surgery is just a tool). I guess I'm just scared. Scared about the surgery itself and complications, leaks. AmI alone in this? Has anyone ever talked themselves out of the surgery before they hit the table? Is anyone else scared?

I was scared - but I attributed that to being a healthy reaction (it meant I actually understood what I was getting into instead of an decision on the whim).

I watched hundreds of successful people on YouTube and decided I have already lived long enough in fear, shame, denial, etc. AND I became very aware that if I did nothing, I knew for sure I would end up dead much earlier than necessary.

So, as grandiose and this sounds, I think my surgery day was probably the best decision I've made in my entire life (and certainly the best day in many many decades!)

I came very close to talking myself out of the surgery! In fact, I started my "surgery" journey with the hope of having to do a 6 month diet but my insurance didn't require it so I took 6 months myself to try to lose the weight on my own but didn't get very far. I cried the day I got my surgery date and I'm not sure they were tears of happiness but more like tears of fears. The day of the surgery I was hooked up to the IVs and I started crying and aplogizing to my husband for having to resort to such drastic measures to lose weight. When my surgeon came in he asked me how I was feeling and I told him scared and nervous, he wanted to cancel the surgery until I felt more comfortable and that's when I realized that I was more scared not to go through with it. While I had a complication in surgery it was nothing compared to what I have gained now that I'm 8 months out and only 14 lbs from goal.

Thank you both for your kind replies. Karen if you don't mind me asking, and please don't tell if your not comfortable, but what was your complication? That's what I'm so afraid of, this fear of the "unknown" complication...

You are certainly not alone! I've cancelled my surgery four times after reading the stories on this forum. I got the nerve to schedule it again and my friend got a leak 3 months out. I'm canceling again tomorrow.

I think this forum is great for us all to share out thoughts and concerns about this surgery. I have to say that I wasn't concerned at all about any of the risks. I have read horror stories on here as well, but I've also read many more success stories. When I was at the hospital, everyone (even my doctor) kept commenting on how calm I was. I think my head was on the end result, learning to eat better and being thin again. I think if you follow the doctors instructions to a tee, then you reduce the complications, which is what I did. I was sleeved 02/11/13 and started back at work today. I could have gone back on Friday, but decided to take it off since Monday was a holiday for me. =) I got on the treadmill today and was able to do half the workout that I normally do. Besides following the doctors instructions, don't push yourself beyond your body's limits and I think all will turn out well.

I was dying already so the risk was that I'd get to live

And I'm living it up now

I think this forum is great for us all to share out thoughts and concerns about this surgery. I have to say that I wasn't concerned at all about any of the risks. I have read horror stories on here as well' date=' but I've also read many more success stories. When I was at the hospital, everyone (even my doctor) kept commenting on how calm I was. I think my head was on the end result, learning to eat better and being thin again. I think if you follow the doctors instructions to a tee, then you reduce the complications, which is what I did. I was sleeved 02/11/13 and started back at work today. I could have gone back on Friday, but decided to take it off since Monday was a holiday for me. =) I got on the treadmill today and was able to do half the workout that I normally do. Besides following the doctors instructions, don't push yourself beyond your body's limits and I think all will turn out well.[/quote']

Hi Chaparral,

Sounds like you had a good start, where are you from?

I'm there with you in being fearful... have now gone through several "rounds" of being so terrified of complications that I can't see all the GREAT outcomes people have had! I have to remind myself that it's like driving a car, crossing the street, or flying an airplane - probability is on my side and if I do everything I can to encourage good odds, like choosing a good dr, following the plan, etc..., I should be okay... but then the old "$h!% happens" nagging voice gets in there and stirs it all up again... ugh. I think it's a healthy response to something so serious and with each bout of fear, you will work through what worries you a little bit more. Let's hope we can both find the comfort level we need to get this done for our health!

Hi Chaparral,

Sounds like you had a good start, where are you from?

Thanks! I'm from Marysville Washington.

In the same boat. My date is March 5th, and I'm scared to death. It's getting worse as it gets closer. I fear the unknown and just wish it was over already. I did this to myself and now i have to fix this. Reading the post op forums help me, cant wait to post there.

Thanks! I'm from Marysville Washington.

I'm from south king county! Around Renton! Where did you have your surgery? How are you doing 8 days out?

I am scared too. I just finished up all my paperwork today. I still have to get cleared by my cardiologist beacause my ekg came up abnormal. I have a stress test Fri. My primary care doctor said he thinks I am fine. He said ekgs are often wrong especially with overweight people. Once I am cleared by the cardiologist, I will be getting closer to surgery. I feel like I have gone so far and put such much effort into having this surgery that I can't back out now. I also have told too many people. I turn 60 in March which is almost as scary as the surgery. I know for me if I don't have the surgery I may not have too many more birthdays. I wish I had done something when I was younger instead of just thinking about doing something. I get overloaded with too much info and then do nothing. This time I am going to do something and quit thinking so much about what can go wrong and think about all the good things this surgery will do for me. I am a great starter but a terrible finisher. I have to finish this and have the surgery. I agree with the person who said to follow the doctor's instructions and it will minimize the chances of problems. I believe that and it helps me to try to stay positive.

I was dying already so the risk was that I'd get to live

And I'm living it up now

Wow

The fact that your living it up now is encouraging

My surgery is next week 2/27 and I have second guessed my self because I cheated while pre op diet. With pistachio nut.

But not giving up just different emotions.

So you encouraged me today.

Thanks

Wow

The fact that your living it up now is encouraging

My surgery is next week 2/27 and I have second guessed my self because I cheated while pre op diet. With pistachio nut.

But not giving up just different emotions.

So you encouraged me today.

Thanks

You can do it! It's hard pre op to stay on the diet program. After surgery you will have your sleeve to guide you and help you. It's like night and day!

Congrats on making this decision to get your life back!!!

It's amazing!!!

<3

I'm so glad you mentioned this because I too am scared but reading through all the above stories (and posts, and website and youtube, etc), I think it comes down to being open with yourself and your community. I've never ever heard so many people talk about how much they weigh - good for us for trusting each other. People share everything (I'm SO there with you - totally scary stuff and prayers to all of those folks who have been down that part of the road). You hear the good and the bad - the good WAY out weighs the bad IMO. There are people killed in cross walks everyday but you don't hear about it and it doesn't stop you from crossing the street. That said, I'm with you and glad you posted this. Good luck!