By This Time Tomorrow...

[CJ_Redux 137]

...I'll be a Sleeved Sistah. As I am preparing this evening (washing clothes, visiting my mom to tell her I love her--in case I don't make it, packing...), it feels surreal. What if this is the last time I'll see my mother? This is really REAL. This is IT.

I followed my 2-week preop to the best of my ability. I tried my best. I cheated too. I gave myself the excuse to after I got sick from the sugar-free (yet chemical-filled) pudding. But overall, I did better than I expected and have thus far lost abt 10 lbs. These last 3 days of clear liquid, having nothing but Water, tea, broth (repeat), have been the toughest. I've gone through a range of emotions from hunger to anger to despair. But I made it.

And as I end this preop journey and prepare to begin another, I feel...surreal. I know without a doubt that without this surgery I'd most likely never lose this weight. So I am thankful for it. But if I'm honest, I still wish there was another way. I wish my current life was set up to support the weight loss I need. But it isn't. I wish I had the courage to change it without surgery. But I don't. That's the God's honest truth.

And so, here I am. Ready to change, but full of fear too. Full of what if's. One thing I know for sure, though, is that this surgery is my leap of faith. I believe I was meant to be MORE than who I am and how I am right now. And I'm willing to face death in order to truly live.

Is this will be my end, then so be it. But perhaps it will be my beginning. Perhaps my rebirth. Whatever awaits me on the other side of this surgery, know that I was here. And I tried, really tried to live my life with meaning, passion and purpose.

Sorry, I just need to speak my truth to the universe...and any of you who've bothered to read this far.

Love.

[victoriatxgirl 64]

i have the exact same feelings!what if i dont make it out.we just gotta put it in gods hands and know that our lives will change forevef but for the better :-)

[mverges 15]

You will be in my prayers!!!! Many blessings and a fast recovery to you!!!

[GivingItMyAll 168]

You will be fine (says the girl with pre-op jitters). Can't wait to read about your experience coming through surgery successfully.

Sent from my iPad using VST

[chitowngirl 884]

Your awesome, no worries you will be fine. You have our huge community pulling for you. Best of luck.

[momoffive 6]

Thank you for posting. This is the way I'm feeling too. I won't be sleeved until July 18. I feeling like I'm mourning for the person i wish I was, someone who could lose and keep off weight without this surgery. But here we are, and I know that both you and I will be great because of the help the sleeve will give us. I'll say a prayer that you fly through surgery well. See you on the other side!

[CJ_Redux 137]

You will be in my prayers!!!! Many blessings and a fast recovery to you!!!

Thank you!

[CJ_Redux 137]

Thank you ALL! :wub:

[victoriatxgirl 64]

how r u doing so far

[Looking Ahead 239]

I was sleeved today also. Ive been going through all the things you mentioned and I also lol spilled it all out on the a couples nights back. Im in my hospital room now. Should be sleeping but the gas pain is keeping me up . But its going to be worth it all. Hope you sugert goes well fir tou also.

[CJ_Redux 137]

how r u doing so far

I just posted about my experience. You can read it here: http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/topic/43212-shes-baaaaaack-from-surgery-lol/

[victoriatxgirl 64]

wowww i just read your post..thanks for ALL the info.im scared also of dying.now im not as scared reading it.thanks alot and keep us posted on ur loss journey.ill be sleeved on july 10 :-)