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Feeling No Support

Everyone that I tell about having surgery seems to think I can lose weight on my own without "doing something so drastic". I have honestly tried before. I have lost before,but I always gain it back plus some. Did your family and friends support you in your journey to have the sleeve?

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  • ChristyLove
    ChristyLove

    I am an African- American female and this type of surgery is not supported. I have been raised love yourslef and other no matter the size, shape , or color. I have lived by this advice my whole life

  • I've stopped telling people! This is about me; this is for me and my health. I have a co-worker that said she'll never go out to lunch w me again cuz she didnt want to feel bad. I find that alot pf p

  • Thanks. I am glad that we do have this forum so that we can find like minded people who really understand what we are going through

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Thanks to everybody for the encouragement! I am so glad I found this site.

  • Author

Thanks to everybody for the encouragement! I am so glad I found this site.

This website it my support! My husband and daughter are the only ones that know about my upcoming surgery on June 12. It's new to them and they don't understand but this website helps me to feel that I'm not alone and a great information tool.

The only person that knows is my husband. I am happy to have found this site for support. Also happy that I found 2 other people with my surgeon on my date! Am looking forward to meeting them on June 14th!

Other than my husband and son, I have only told my bestie and some long time close friends that have issues similar to me. We have all struggled together over the years, I am the first of my small group of friends to do this and will most likely not be the last! Other than that, it's not really anyone's business! My father is severely overweight- more so than me- I want him to see that it can be done, and maybe he will follow suit. I have chosen not to tell him at this time. I know he would be supportive, but we only really see each other a few times a year, and I want him to SEE the change first!

I have only told my husband, daughter and son that live in my local area (not the son out of the country) and two friends that also have long standing weight issues plus, my hairdresser..LOL They are all supportive although my husband is worried. As for the rest, my co-workers have made enough comments in the past about WLS that there is no point telling them an my other friends too They all think I'm having surgery to fix some "internal" issues. No one is invading my privacy but asking exactly what I'm doing. They have also seen I'm losing weight because I went on a very low carb diet so I could lose 5% of my weigh required by my DR - actually lost %10. So, they won't be surprised when I continute to lose weight. Anyway - this is my business and I do feel much more stigma being fat than having WLS.

Everyones so kind and supportive here. I want to thank everyone for posted too. I just did my psych eval in fl.. live in atlanta ...yesterday. This am I got a call from Delta UHC ins that I am approved. I am elated!

I went to the WLS seminar yesterday. One of the surgeons in the group I have chosen did all the speaking. first thing out of his mouth, "diets do not work!". then he said that for women, obesity shaves 9 years off their lives and 12 years for men. him saying that reassured me I was doing the right thing. you have to have some kind of support system in place to succeed, but those who are opposed to it are not very informed about it either. it's taken me over 3 yrs to come to the decision of having this done. I have done my research. until those people understand the process, do not let their lack of support deter you.....let it DRIVE you! good luck and God bless.

oh, I am also only telling a select few of loved ones know about my decision. it's no one's business. they are entitled to their opinion, but that is all it is....an opinion.

I think misinformed and uneducated are the most appropriate descriptions. Even if they're thinking to themselves, "She's making a big mistake", they should smile and say I'm happy for you and I'm here if you need me. It's a shame that some people can't be supportive even when they don't agree. Fortunately for me, my family is very supportive. Even if they weren't, they know that wouldn't stop me. I've been known to do things behind their backs before. I am the only overweight person in the family, so that makes me the expert, and I make the decisions. Just think how happy you'll be when you're healthier, and they'll be the first ones to say you look great.

Just do it and show them! Or say "Do you think i would do something so drastic if my doctor did not agree this was the right step?" Or "Do you think I am the type of person to jump into something like this without doing exhaustive research?" Just turn it back around on them. Make them squirm.

I guess my answer to the negative people would be that this is your decision. The alternatives to not having this done is even more scary.

You are so right!!! I am purposely only telling those who either need to know, like my boss and those who will be supportive. I am getting close to approval so I am starting to tell people who would be really hurt to think that I didn't care enough about them to tell them something so important, like my oldest brother. He asked me if I was scared. Of course, I am scared but I am more scared of what will happen if I don't do something. I have been at least 100 pounds overweight for 30 years! 30 years!! I have lost as much as 130 pounds only to gain it right back and then some so now I am 200 pounds overweight! I got to the point that I said I was never dieting again. I was only hurting myself. I am very excited and feel surrounded with loving and supportive people... except my PCP but that is on another post. Do what is best for you and be confident that this will change your life for the good, forever!

Jazzplay

I had people 2 tell me not 2. I have Pcos. This surgery will be good for me. People always say ur not big. I don't care what people say about me. As long as I have my husbands support and Gods thats all I need. I stop telling people too. I only told those friends and family members who support me.

I would not listen 2 them. YOU deserve 2 take care of yourself.

I don't know you but Im happy for you.

I found that my "larger" friends didn't support my decision at all, saying it was too dangerous and why give up food and "suffer"? I chose to keep telling people and plaster my weight loss all over my Facebook. Not the pounds I lost but the little things that us "larger people" forget we can't do, like crossing our legs or tying our shoes without our tummies in the way. For me, I feel more empowered talking about it, it removes the stigma and hopefully people will see that its not the easy way out, w put a lot of work into it!

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