I still have a while before getting sleeved (75 days! Damn!!!!) but soon I'm going to either start letting people know about the surgery or not. Obviously my immediate family knows, as well as my close friends, but I'm debating whether to tell extended family and co-workers. Part of me says that they really don't need to know as they aren't really in my support circle. And as far as my boss is concerned, all I really need to give is about a month notice of time off, I don't even think I need a medical note because I'm part time. My dad had the sleeve too, but he never told any of his co-workers, and even after the surgery his co-workers didn't ask questions. Even if people outside of work asked he always said he lost weight drinking protein shakes. Part of me wants to tell everyone I see but then part of me is ashamed because of the bad connotation still attached to WLS.

So my question is this: How did you decide who to tell? Was there anyone you didn't tell and had some issues with later on? Has anyone tried to cover-up the fact that they had WLS?

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give me your responses, I know this affects everyone. It seems like every time I post something nobody answers!

I have and continue to tell everyone I'm just so happy to be able to do this......

Hey there! I haven't been sleeved yet so I can only answer part of your question. I told based on instincts. There were some people I just KNEW would not understand or would be negative about it so I haven't told them. That being said, I felt comfortable telling my immediate family, most of my close friends, and all of my coworkers (except my boss). Everyone I HAVE told, has been extremely supportive and excited for me. There are only about 3 people that I haven't, because I just feel like they wouldn't understand. So my point is, follow your instincts. If you feel like they wouldn't understand, they most likely won't. As for after surgery, if the people I haven't told ask me how I've lost the weight, I'll either tell them the truth (depending on how I feel they will react) or allude to the truth like your father did. I also told people at levels...worked my way up to it. And sometimes, the conversation came up about weight loss or surgery which opened the door for me to tell them. Good luck!

Most people I see on a weekly basis know I had the sleeve done. In the beginning it was just close friends and family that knew but the questions kept coming and I decided based on the relationship with the person and whether I thought they could benefit from the surgery. The reason behind telling most people I see weekly is because it looks like I have an eating disorder. I noticed many people watching me eat and since I eat still such tiny portions it looks weird, especially since I have lost so much in a short period of time.

Generally I just tell people if they ask what I am doing to lose weight.

I was so embarrassed by the fact that I could not control my weight myself. I decided that as a way of acceptance, I would tell a lot of people. I also stress to them that it limits how much I eat but the rest is up to me. It isn't lipo or a tummy tuck. I am the one doing all of the work.

Prior to the surgery the only one that knew was my wife, I didn't even tell my family. After I came back I told everyone and my family was pissed at me for not letting them know before hand. I simply didn't want to hear their "horror stories" of friends and acquaintances who failed or had complications.

Since then I tell anyone who asks about my weight or if the subject about weight loss comes up. Immediately they assume it's a bypass or band. I carefully explain how it's not like them and how they remove the pedulate or bottom part of the stomach.

I am very open about it, I even blog and and post it on my facebook. If anyone asks wow, how have you lost all this weight!! I tell them. I know people judge but I don't really care.

I only told my sister, and have no regrets about my decision. I am very happy with the way that I have handled my life choice.

I only told my hubby and kids. Some people tell everyone, and I might do that in a few years. This is why I didn't tell...

I do not like Negative Nancys and I have been surprised in the past about who is actually a "closet" Nancy. When it comes to obesity, in my opinion, some people can be very judgmental and overly vocal. Which is hilarious when you really think about it (pot meet kettle). I also did not want the "waiting for the re-gain" syndrome to begin. This mainly applies to my Mom.

So a few months ago I started telling people I was on a diet and cut out most carbs and sugar. About a month later I said I cut out soda too. I also told everyone I would measure my food and eat only what a normal amount should be. This led to conversations about America's portion size and how out of control it is. A few friends gave me advice on eating healthy, but cautioned against a low carb diet. I told them I am not cutting them out completely, just lowering them. After my surgery I obviously ate even less. I told people that once I adjusted to eating smaller portions and actually eating Breakfast as well, I learned to stop when I was full not stuffed.

Bottom line is this is MY journey. The sleeve is a tool, it does not define me. Again, this is JMO. I support everyone who decides to or not to tell others... I just might scream,"I had the sleeve" from the rooftops in the future :smile1:

Have not told anyone but my hubby my kids know I am having surgery but not what kind...Will not be telling anyone ELSE had to end up telling my nosey boss out of good faith that I will be out due to surgery because I am going to be out for 2 weeks...Just found out today she told four other people so they are speculating what procedure I am having done...miserable women

Whatever you decide, remember that telling one person may wind up with a lot more people knowing. I told exactly 4 people when I was banded - DH, my 2 kids and my sister. About 2 years later I overheard her telling a CROWD of people about my gastric band in a very negative way. It was very hurtful, but it was a lesson - once the cat is out of the bag, well, you no longer control that info.

With the sleeve, I am choosing to tell more people.

I tell anyone and everyone because I want to be an example for those people who want to have the surgery done but don't have the courage.

I have told everyone pretty much. I blog about it. I told people who see me frequently. I also called all of my siblings to let them know before I had the surgery. That call prompted one of my sisters to ask a lot of questions, and I believe she is looking into the surgery.

I am confident about my decision and my results. I didn't let anyone's negative story worry me. I also didn't listen to them. If someone started telling me a bad story, I cut them off. It was usually overweight people who did this.

The other day someone who didn't know about the surgery asked me how I was losing weight. I immediately mentioned that I had WLS. I only regret that I didn't mention all of the other steps I am taking as well.

The people who do know but don't see me all of the time are very interested in my diet. I went to a conference with a group of co-workers, and I rode to the conference with one of them. My limitations impacted where we ate. Her first suggestions were places high in carbs including a Pasta place. She was not negative in any way, and she was very curious and supportive.

I would say overall I get the most questions about my diet. Rarely people ask me about the surgery and seemed shocked to find out the size of my stomach.

I am sure that there are people talking about me. I remember early on my mother-in-law commented how I was "losing slowly." At that point, I was losing at least a pound a day. I stated that fact and mentioned it was hardly slow. My mother-in-law insisted it was compared to an aunt that had gastric by-pass a few years earlier. Maybe so. It might also be that people see what they want to see, and I can't control that. I'm not going to hide anything and think they won't talk about me.

Hi,

I told everyone I interact with on a regular basis. I didn't tell family or people I rarely see. Post-surgery, I mention it as it comes up. When someone who doesn't know compliments my weight loss, I tell them I had surgery. Also when the waitress asks why I didn't eat my meal (often they don't notice!).

Pre-surgery, some people were concerned about the surgery, but I explained that it was best for my health and that satisfied them. Post -surgery, no one has said something negative about the surgery to me.

Lynda

Thanks for all the info guys! I think i'm going to keep it on the DL until after, and then only explain it when it is needed. Some people just don't get it and it's not my place to *make* them.

I tell everyone, and did before surgery too. I've had ONE negative comment and that was on a non-WLS message board. Since I know that poster is obese herself, I let it roll off my back as jealousy on her part.

I just posted pics of myself to that board (and here) to let people see the results I'm getting. I'm totally thrilled so far and very happy with my sleeve. I haven't had any negative comments to my face. If someone is talking about me behind my back, I don't care. At least they are leaving someone else alone.