Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Decision anxiety



Recommended Posts

Hello all,

I needed an outlet for this, so that was the main reason of the post. BUT maybe someone can offer some advice, too, that would be great.

Lately I've really been struggling with the type of WLS procedure I should get. Or if I should get one at all, although that's a minor part of the struggle. I'm 99% sure I want WLS, but I'm really struggling with which one to get.

What's worse is that I'm kind of freaking out over what's going to happen after I decide on something and get the surgery. I'm worried that I'll always be wondering if I made the right decision. It's crazy, I'm freaking out over something that hasn't even happened yet.

Ugh...the worst part is that I recognize this mental trap that I'm stuck in, but I'm having a hard time getting myself out of it.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Feel free to message me if you have something you don't want to post on the forum.

Thank you. You guys are wonderful. May you all be happy and healthy. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have been feeling exactly the same way. I'm going with the sleeve, and I backed out last year, because of this same thing... As of right now (i'm self pay) I've been approved, have my financing, and am all set to go. I just have to let my co-ordinator know the dates I'm available. But like you, I'm worried about all the unknowns. I read about everyone that has had the sleeve and how wonderful it is, and how great it is to be thin, but at the same time, I read that everyone has to live off of Protein Shakes, and basically "diet" for the rest of their lives. Is this how it is going to be after the surgery? I don't want to completely give up food forever.... I know it sounds silly, but to be honest, I think about Christmas times, and Thanksgivings with the turkey, etc and family. I don't want to spend it drinking a shake while the rest of the family enjoys a hot meal. It is frivolous, i know that. But that's what I think about, and all the things I will miss out on after the sleeve.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My cousin had this surgery almost a year ago. She can eat ANYTHING. Just in smaller, much smaller portions. You will NOT be living off a shake for the rest of your life. I'm having the surgery 9/29. I had the same concerns you are having.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it is valid to be worried. This is a lifetime- life-changing- decision. Let me just say that once I got past the post-op liquid phase, I have not had a Protein Shake. I did nothing but Protein shake for 3 weeks prior to surgery & now the smell of them makes me dry-heave. I eat 6 small meals a day. For me it is better if I am eating protein instead of drinking it. I feel full. Drinking protein doesn't give me that same sensation. I really don't have any foods that I can't eat. However, certain things don't sit as well. Breads tend to leave me feeling nauseous, which is a good thing since I'm trying to stay with the lower carbs. fruit juices are like pure Syrup to me & most sugary things will make my stomach feel uncomfortable. I eat healthy (high protein & low carb) about 90% of the time. I splurge (ie. on holidays or out with friends) about 10% of the time. If I was committed to 100% of the time eating right, I would have probably lost more, but I would rather have the slower loss & still be able to live more like a regular person. I am just past 6 month post op. The first 5 months the weight fell off. I'm now having to work out more & eat healthier to get the scale to move. I originally went in planning to have the lap-band. However, I spoke to a friend who I knew had it a year or so go & she highly discouraged me from the bad due to the complications & lack of weighloss she had. I would recommend you join forums for all the surgeries & read, read, read. In the end you need to feel comfortable with your decision because if you do select the sleeve, it is for life. There is no getting that part of your stomach back. Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I struggled with whether to do RNY or the sleeve...on one hand rerouting my intestines scared the living daylights out of me, but so did failing again after surgery.....eventually I decided that the sleeve was the best choice for me and that I'd have to be responsible for my success or failure with ANY wls. I won't lie and say I haven't wondered if RNY would have been better at times when my weight loss has sleemed slow....but then I enjoy a couple bites of wedding cake or bread at a restaurant and KNOW I made the right choice for me! I look back at 6 months post-op at the 69lbs I've lost and know that I did all the work to lose it....it didn't happen because of malabsorption...it happened because I've made good choices over and over and over!! GL on your journey!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for the reassurances guys! Such a silly thing to worry about (turkey dinners, etc :) ) But I'm glad to hear that I won't have to drink Protein Shakes forever! Good Luck Lob1999 on your decision! Just know that you're not the only one with these feelings of "OMG what am I doing?" and being in the mental trap....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am 1 year out from the vertical or gastric sleeve. I chose this for several reasons. I had gained weight due to another health issue, where I had to take medications that caused a long term(10 years) weight gain of 75 lbs. I am still on some of these meds so weight loss continues to be an issue with me.

Although I do not regret the decision to have wt. loss surgery, I do think I made a mistake in the type I chose. It is permanent-which seemed a good thing at the time, It is advertised as lowering your hunger-it does not, I am extremely hungry often, but am only able to eat very small portions, while drinking next to nothing during meals. I no longer can enjoy meals or activities surrounding get-togethers involving food. I become extremely uncomfortable quickly-often having to lie down somewhere until I recover. I have adjusted by eating very little in groups & not at all at work. Yes, I have lost weight but only 40 lbs so far.

I experience GI difficulties all the time. Nausea, and worst is the gas-all the time-noisy like nothing I have had or experienced other than through teen-age movie antics. I am always uncomfortable worrying I will embarrass myself in this way. I would strongly suggest to anyone thinking of this to do the lap-band instead! I know people who have had this successfully & wish that I had one. It can be removed. I am stuck with this altered stomach-an organ that cannot be replaced & I did this to myself. I have no problem with wt. loss surgery itself. My recovery was uneventful. But, if I could go back & have the choice over I certainly would! I am depressed in a way that I wasn't prior to the surgery. Does anyone have a similiar experience or know of solutions to make me more comfortable?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

lob1999, I suggest that you do your research by reading the forums both here and at the Lap Band message boards (there are several). There are also TONS of bloggers who've had the lap band and post about their experiences. I have about 100 of them bookmarked and checked them daily while I was researching. MY conclusion was that the lap banders had a really high incidence of slippage, erosion and general failure to lose the weight they wanted to lose, whereas those who had VSG seemed to lose a significantly higher percentage of their weight. I had one shot (self-pay) and wanted to make sure I got what I wanted out of the surgery, especially since I was doing it more for health than vanity, like most people.

IMO, there are a lot of people who have had band to sleeve revisions because of complications. I just didn't want to do two surgeries and I really didn't want to have to be constantly going to the doctor for a "fill" or an "unfill". I was sleeved on Aug 30 and I'm (so far) content with my decision. Disclaimer: I had several co-morbidities and a death sentence hanging over my head: "Lose weight or you'll be dead in a year."

Seeking Health, I STRONGLY suggest you talk to your surgeon and/or your PCP. Your experience sounds atypical of anyone I have met or seen who has had VSG. I cannot imagine the hell you go through with your GI difficulties. It sounds like something is really wrong and you most assuredly need some kind of intervention. I can't imagine living with the side effects you are experiencing. Please post again once you've seen your doctor and let us know that they were able to help you. You're in my prayers.

The only person I've heard of who has problems is the sister in law of a friend, but hers are self-inflicted because she is not compliant with either drinking Water or ensuring that she gets enough Protein daily. That lady is in the hospital regularly with malnutrition and dehydration issues. She's a great motivator for me to keep plugging away at the liquids and Protein on a daily basis. Every time I see her, I note her pallor and she looks bad, almost emaciated.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lissa,

Thank you for the response (and all the others). I'm not considering the lap-band. I'm trying to decide between the VSG and the Duodenal Switch.

And while I want to give seekinghealth the benefit of the doubt, something about that post just read as being very spammy. Maybe I'm paranoid though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

lob1999,

I know NOTHING about the duodenal switch (unless it's another name for RNY). I imagine there are probably message boards for those folks as well... and I would look for blogs by real people.

I agree with you about the other post, but feel that I must believe until proven wrong. I cannot imagine someone having that negative an experience and not already beating on their surgeon's door. But, everyone does things differently.

Good luck. Please let us know what you decide, whatever it may be. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×