When I was banded- I only told a FEW close friends and associates. I am not close with much family and didnt want any scrutiny or swaying out of my decision. When I succeeded with the band and everyone saw my weight loss (because it was gradual) I basically told them when asked that I dieted and exercised. No one suspected anything. I don't feel like I lied to them I just don't think it is everyone's business.

Now that I need to have the band removed and am getting the sleeve- and will be in the hospital 2-3 days AND off work for at least 10 days... I can't keep that too much on the down-low- I have already shared my issues and such with the people that already knew and of course they are supportive but I worry about the what-if's... what if something happens during surgery- would they be madder I didnt say anything and they found out the hard way or would they be more mad I took this journey without their support/criticism (as i see it)... Did anyone else struggle with to tell or not to tell?? On the Lap Band forum there were mixed reviews and I'm curious other's opinions on this subject.

PS. I have a extremely supportive inner circle (hubby, inlaws, friends etc.) didnt want anyone to think I'm at this alone because that i COULD not do...

i'm getting sleeved tomorrow and i've only told my bf and a few trustworthy friends, neither one of my parents or sisters know, actually no one in my family knows. i've picked the person i want to call my mom in case something really bad happens and i mean really bad like hovering death.

i haven't really even thought about if they will be upset for me not telling them, maybe bcause they are prob going to be upset either way, if i tell them i'm having it they'll be mad cuz they don't want me to and if i don't tell them they will be mad i didn't. i guess it's kinda like that old saying, damned if you do, damned if you don't.

i plan to do exactly wat you did with your band when people start noticing, i've got the perfect answer when they ask, i'm gonna say, "i finally decided to get off my butt and do something about it." they can take it how they want.

i think it is your decision wat you want to do and they can either support you or not, this surgery is about you and you only.

remember NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT.

Thanks and puleez keep me posted on your success!!

i will! i'm so excited!

I only told those I knew could keep a secret. Like you my inner circle, the ppl I respect are the only to know. I didn't tell everyone when I got a hysterectomy either. Many ppl feel they have a right to know everything about your body and will be hurt to find out they are not in your personal inner circle ( if someone blabs). In my case, this is my body and I don't billboard my medicines or surgeries.I had also made up my mind about having the surgery and didn't want to invite criticisim.

I have kept it a secret from everybody except my bf, my oldest daughter, my hubby, and my doctors. I dont want to hear all the crap about taking the easy way out, or are you sure that you really tried dieting? About being out for surgery when people ask what am I having surgery for I tell them I need my gall bladder removed, which isnt a lie, I am having my gall bladder removed. Its really up to the person having the surgery whether or not to share. The friends and family might be upset that you didnt tell them, but how are they gonna know unless....wait for it.....you tell them...lol

take care.

Did not tell a soul. Well except for my personal doctor and she was very supportive, and all of you my loving sleeve family. I did however tell my immediate family within a week of returning from Mexico what I had done. They are now very supportive of my progress.

I however will not be telling anyone else as it is not their business. I just do not want the talking behind my back or even worse to my face with their ignorance. To protect my mental health I will not share with anyone else.

i'm post op and i have only told 3 people among my family and friends and i'm not regretting it so far ... i'm just wondering what i'm going to say when all the weight starts to melt off...i think people will notice since my goal weight is half of my start weight...

Yea I keeping it a secret everyone already told me how they felt when I asked them last year an the reviews were horrible... My life, my business, and my secret...

I only told my children and husband. As for the time off work and the surgery I told them I need to have my gallbladder removed as the incisions for laparoscopy are about the same for both surgies. This "story" also helped cover my eating changes as I would need to watch what I could eat post op to avoid any issues now that it was gone. My surgery was 2 weeks ago and I have been back to work now for a week and so far the story has held up

I felt the same way you do that I did not want the added pressure of everyone asking about my progess or even worse asking me the dreaded "Do you really think you should be eating that?" everytime we go to lunch......

Nobody except my husband knows. NOT EVEN my mother!! Thankfully, she lives in another state and I have not had to tell her yet. I will when I see her, obviously she is going to see the difference!! LOL

I had went on my pre-op diet and lost a lot of weight before the surgery and so afterwards I just kept losing, so at work, nobody really questions me. That is nice!

Kelly

I decided to not tell anyone with the exception of my husband... I really wanted to do this for myself with no judgement or discussion from or with or by anyone. I have spent so much of my life trying to please other people and live up to their expectations. VSG was for me and my expectations for myself and my future. As for work, folks know that I had surgery and was out of the office for one week, but they all respected my privacy and just asked if I was OK or needed anything but they didn't pry for details and I only shared what I felt comfortable with. In the one month since my surgery, friends have noticed that I eat very little around them, but they also know that I am always trying something new for weight loss, so I chalk it up to that and try to arrange activities that don't center around meals and eating. It's working for me so far, but there may come a time when I want to tell other folks - like my mom and brother and my closest friends... we'll see. For now, this is all mine - my journey - my opportunity, and I want to keep it that way.

GOOD FOR YOU!!

KELLY

I decided to not tell anyone with the exception of my husband... I really wanted to do this for myself with no judgement or discussion from or with or by anyone. I have spent so much of my life trying to please other people and live up to their expectations. VSG was for me and my expectations for myself and my future. As for work, folks know that I had surgery and was out of the office for one week, but they all respected my privacy and just asked if I was OK or needed anything but they didn't pry for details and I only shared what I felt comfortable with. In the one month since my surgery, friends have noticed that I eat very little around them, but they also know that I am always trying something new for weight loss, so I chalk it up to that and try to arrange activities that don't center around meals and eating. It's working for me so far, but there may come a time when I want to tell other folks - like my mom and brother and my closest friends... we'll see. For now, this is all mine - my journey - my opportunity, and I want to keep it that way.

Thank you all soooooooooooooo much it means so much to know that a) i'm not alone and im not crazy either .... I trust my gut (prolly cuz it's so large.. tee hee hee) and will just continue to do so...Continued success to you all

My family knew and I regret telling some of them as they were critical and said stupid things regarding it, like, oh your taking the easy way out, yeah, there was nothing easy about having my band. I told my best friend and asked her to keep it confidential but when she saw how good I looked and all the compliments I was getting she decided to tell ppl which I was pissed off about. My body, no ones business, but mine and my husbands. If I get the sleeve I'm not telling anyone but my husband and kids, sick of the comments whether well or bad intentioned, just don't want to deal with it.

When I was banded, my kids and hubby knew. I told my younger sister, who I was very close to. On a big family camping trip I walked into her campsite to discover her telling about 7 other people and really 'dissing me for having the surgery. It has been hard to forgive and forget that moment as many of the people there were her friends and really distant aquaintances who had no business knowing.

I kinda feel that if you want to go the "keep it quiet" route, you need to keep it REALLY quiet. At this point, I plan to tell a much larger circle of people when I am sleeved. Only DH and two (now grown!) kids know the band is being removed. My sister is now passed away and i don't give a rip about the people she blabbed to.