Yesterday morning, I had a concern about possible infection of one of my incisions (which the doc said was fine). While in the surgery dept I see my cleaning lady who was there with her father

So she sees me this morning, and she asks "Samantha is everything ok, because I saw you over there yesterday" So I respond yes. Then she continues "you look like your losing weight. Did you do that surgery" And I responded yes. Ughhh I'm not hiding it, but I didnt expect anyone to come right out and ask me, especially not so soon. I have only been back to work since Monday.

My mom and I decided that we didn't want to tell anyone (specifically my grandma) simply because we consider it to be a private thing and not really anyones business (like if I had any other surgery for any other reason). But... the hospital sent me a info packet and for some reason (our mail is really messed up right now) it was forwarded to my grandma's... and of course my grandma "accidentally" opens it and is all like "did you attend a seminar? are you getting surgery? you know bypass is the best because these people had it" blah blah blah. I ended up spending 45 minutes telling her why I was NOT doing the bypass and everything else. So, our "keeping it a secret" lasted for all of a few days lol!

I am not too surprised that someone asked straight out. Bariatric surgery in general, especially by-pass, is something that everyone has heard about at some point. Match that with the general lack of brain-to-mouth filters that most people have and well... you get bluntness!

Congrats on your weight loss already!! I can't wait to be where you are right now

Thanks so much Emily!

I lost much more weight pre-op, but I guess its noticeable now.

OMG!! I'm pre-op and I told my fiance and he doesn't support my decision at all, so he goes and tells his mom and his 2 aunts about my upcoming surgery and gets that to bash me about taking the "easy way out"!! I got so upset that I cried because for the past 10 years I've been fat and I've tried dieting and it doesn't work with me..I know the sleeve is the best thing for me.Ughhh I so dislike negative people!!!

Diva Dee, cheer up. Just make sure ur happy with your decision, and that you're doing it for u. I chickened out in the past, years ago, and this time I was sure, prepared, and ready, NO ONE could stop me. When I told my mom in October, she CRIED. She tried for months to change my mind. My family wasnt really in favor of the surgery, but in the end I couldn't do it without them. My family was a huge support system. My friends too. My mom has come around, and is very involved in the process and wanting to know more about what I am eating, how I am feeling. When ppl see that you're sure and educated about your decision and when you start losing weight they will be happy for you and if not screw em, you'll be happy

Even though we dread telling people because their reactions can be negative, we usually feel relieved when it's out. No more stress from the big secret. I do understand the need for privacy though. It's like people feel entitled to know. But sometimes they're interested in the info for themselves or someone they love. Just always be confident and proud when you do decide to talk about it. It makes a difference.

Kelly

Even though we dread telling people because their reactions can be negative, we usually feel relieved when it's out. No more stress from the big secret. I do understand the need for privacy though. It's like people feel entitled to know. But sometimes they're interested in the info for themselves or someone they love. Just always be confident and proud when you do decide to talk about it. It makes a difference.

Kelly

That's true...she proceeded to tell me how her niece wants to do the surgery because she has struggled with her weight her whole life. I just dread her spreading my business all over...but oh well the cat is out the bag

I told very few ppl at first. I kinda was worried that ppl would think that i was cheating. but i knew that i had a horrible addiction to food and that i wasnt going to be able to be healthy without help. I work in a car dealership so magically one person told another and another lol...and soon everyone was asking and they were all soooo supportive. The other day, when i got to wear my new spring clothes...some of the girls i work with were kinda goo-ing all over me and telling me how great i look. it keeps me in check that ppl know. and they watch me all the time lol...how i eat, how much i eat...and they usually laugh and say, 'how do you survive on that tiny bowl of food?" i actually had someone grill me about the procedure cuz she was interested too!

yeah, some people didnt have that reaction, some were negative, but it isn't their choice, and who i am to those ppl should be enough for them to stand behind me. If you dont love me that much, then i can do it without you. But i have had a good support system for the most part. Like Samantha, my mom tried to talk me out of it. now she's my biggest fan. and a lot of ppl noticed my weight loss long before i could see it. so its an awesome feeling for sure!

Oh and Samantha, I forgot to mention that I am so happy your incision is fine!!

Kelly

Thanks Kelly! There was pus coming from it. I was sure it was infected. But he said it was folliculitis along the incision line which is common and not to worry.

OMG, I hate that "taking the easy way out" comment! No one's ever said that to me, thankfully, but just thinking about it gets me all riled up. I mean, how ABSURD. Imagine this exchange.

- I live 20 miles away from work, so I drive every day

- YOU ARE TAKING THE EASY WAY OUT! YOU SHOULD BE WALKING!

- I enjoy meat, so every once in a while I go to the supermarket and buy a nice, juicy steak

- YOU ARE TAKING THE EASY WAY OUT! YOU SHOULD GO BUY A CALF AND RAISE IT, THEN BUTCHER IT YOURSELF!

I mean, the sheer IDIOCY of these comments....just think about it!

BBJ--you are so right...they are ludicrous. I had to chuckle tho when i read those examples cuz ppl dont think of it that way...and it sounds so silly but they never look at it like that. they look at it like...i am skinny and you should be too. how come you just cant do it yourself. Until someone has been like me, they dont know what it is like ....i just always have known i couldnt do it alone. so whatever ppl think of what i have done, is on them. I am successful and happy and that is all that matters. and i am gonna be around a long time for my son and THAT makes me happier every day.

divadee....in no way is this the "easy way out". its a lot of work changing a lifestyle...keep your chin up, and if it is right in your heart, and you are comfortable with this choice and know its what you want to do, then you keep on that path and get 'er done. no one should stand in your way of being happy.

That is EXACTLY why the only person that knows is my husband!! People are so IGNORANT about this surgery and want to act like they are the surgeon!! It pisses me off to no end and I will not be down played on my decision!! I am doing it for me and nobody else. I don't need to be talked out of it, my mind is made!

I might decide later to tell people, but for now, I am not!

Glad to hear your incision is alright!

Kelly

I kept it a secret for so long and by the time I got it done I didn't care anymore! I don't advertise but if someone asks I say yeah. who cares. I am really starting to love myself for once in my life and if someone doesn 't like me for it or loses respect for me for it then screw them. life is too short to worry about what other people think. I've let that kind of anxiety run my life until now!