I'm new here! My name is Kassie. I'm a 33 year old housewife and mother. I've been overweight most of my life, and have been considering different forms of WLS over the years, but have never had the courage to finally step up and ask a doctor's advice. Yes, I've been labeled morbidly obese. Yes, they've told me to lose weight to improve my overall health and eliminate my high BP and pre-diabetes. Never, however, have they recommended WLS. That's been a bit frustrating... part of me wishes one would just recommend it. I think I could maneuver through the journey easier that way!

The fact is, I've known lots of people that have undergone WLS and had great success. Unfortunately, my parents have known a few that have not done so well... they've known a few that have died or gamed the system and gotten surgery without real necessity... so the stigma of those few failure stories have haunted my parents. Yes, I'm a grown woman... but I also care an awful lot about what they'll think. I live in Maryland now and they're in Texas, so I could conceivably "hide" the fact that I got the surgery, but... I'm a weenie. I don't like lying.

I look forward to the information and encouragement offered here, and appreciate any and all advice you can bestow upon me!

Hi Kassie:

It sounds like you have done some research and have found this website. The vertical sleeve is definitely a better option than the other weight loss surgeries seem to be. I am sure you will be able to explain that to your folks, show them the statistics, and hopefully they will see that it is actually a viable option for you. Sounds like you have come to the same conclusion as the rest of us getting the sleeve have come to... we need to do this for ourselves - for our health and so we can live better, fuller lives. Good luck to you on your journey!

I was trying to decide if I was going to tell my parents or keep it a secret from them. My sister had bypass done a few years ago and she met with opposition pre surgery and lots of complications after her surgery (I told you so's insued). Well, I told my parents at Thanksgiving and they were supportive after I provided a lot of information and the research on my surgeon. They said they thought it was the right decision for me and wished they were candidates for the surgery too. I was surprised at their reaction!!!!!! I think it is because this surgery makes sense to most people who know about it.

I'm new here! My name is Kassie. I'm a 33 year old housewife and mother. I've been overweight most of my life, and have been considering different forms of WLS over the years, but have never had the courage to finally step up and ask a doctor's advice. Yes, I've been labeled morbidly obese. Yes, they've told me to lose weight to improve my overall health and eliminate my high BP and pre-diabetes. Never, however, have they recommended WLS. That's been a bit frustrating... part of me wishes one would just recommend it. I think I could maneuver through the journey easier that way!

The fact is, I've known lots of people that have undergone WLS and had great success. Unfortunately, my parents have known a few that have not done so well... they've known a few that have died or gamed the system and gotten surgery without real necessity... so the stigma of those few failure stories have haunted my parents. Yes, I'm a grown woman... but I also care an awful lot about what they'll think. I live in Maryland now and they're in Texas, so I could conceivably "hide" the fact that I got the surgery, but... I'm a weenie. I don't like lying.

I look forward to the information and encouragement offered here, and appreciate any and all advice you can bestow upon me!

First off Kassie WELCOME!!! At 350+lbs my PCP would tell me "oh you don't need surgery, your not fat" talk about frustrating, so one day I just said to myself "whatever, it's not her having to miss work and pay cause of pain in the knees or back" It's me, she just wants all that co-pay and i found me a doctor here in San Antonio who did the surgeries and went to a seminar with hubbie and together we found the perfect surgery VSG. . .I did it as self pay and within 1 month had it done and now am 1 year out and have lost 145 lbs. . .I've only 25 lbs left before goal, but of course we don't just stop there do we? No we challenge ourselves to keep healthy, heavens we came this far, lets see if this really isn't the true "fountain of youth" Good luck and you'll do fine in whatever decision you choose.

Kassie, Welcome!

My husband and I both had asked our primary care dr. about WLS several times over the years and he would always tell us to "try South Beach" or another round of "WW" or one time gave us a brochure about a dr. who did liquid diets, etc. So when the time came and I was ready to pursue surgery, I had already picked my surgeon, met with a nutritionist (at the surgeon's office), gone to the WLS seminar, and set up an appt. with the surgeon.

At that time, my insurance did require me to have written acknowledgement/approval from my PCP. I really like my PCP so I wasn't too keen on finding a new one that would recommend WLS. So I gathered up my courage, made an appointment with him and SURPRISE. He was awesomely supportive. I took him 12 years of dieting history (he has been my PCP for about 8 of those 12 years, so he definitely knew what I had tried in the past), he sat and listened to my story and how I was ready to change my life and we had a really good chat. I'm glad I didn't have to switch drs. and (this is just my personal opinion) that while he may not reccommend WLS to his patients, when he sees THEM make the decision, he is supportive (like in the end he will never have to say that it was HIS idea...KWIM?)

About your parents. Here is what I personally did. I made all the arrangements, and was down to one month left to go (I had a insurance-required 6 month wait time) and I basically told my parents "this is what I'm doing with my life". My mom was scared that I was having elective surgery, while my dad was glad that I was doing something to ensure a healthy future. My mom eventually came around, felt much better after I was "ok" and out of surgery, but still makes comments like "Oh I could NEVER not eat and drink at the same time", etc. like what I'm doing is physically impossible. They are divorced and live about 4 hours away from me, so I could have probably hid this from them as well, but there is no need. I'm an adult, I didn't ask them for money to $$$pay$$$ for this, or ask that they do anything other than be supportive of my decision. And in that regard neither one of them has let me down.

You gotta do what you gotta do, and everything from parents, to unsupportive drs. and the naysayers...bah, at the end of the day this is YOUR life that you are living and you need to live it the way you want to.

Hi Kassie, The same old story just a different patient name. My employer is actually moving to be more proactive and having us get healthier with covering weight loss surgery. They just added under 100% coverage for obesity counseling and nutritional therapy. Which is good as my husband still has 3 months to go before he can get his approval. I was sleeved Dec 1st and already see so a change in my health and attitude about myself. I use to hate seeing my reflection in glass/mirror and now it like....WOW look at me. I did not tell my parents until after surgery....they are elderly and I didn't want them to be concerned on surgery day. I did not expect any complications. I did tell them a week later and surprisingly they understood why I did it. I did not go into details but they have not had any other experiences with it. The sleeve is so different from having gastric bypass or lap band that I think it will be a new standard soon for many doctors. I think my doctor is recommending it over the other surgeries as more and more people in the support group are being sleeved instead of having bypass.

You will not regret your decision. Good luck. This forum is a wealth of information and a wonderful support group.

Welcome! You will find that this forum is so supportive. I am glad you are considering the sleeve. I just had a revision from the lapband and the sleeve is amazing! I feel so great. My family was NOT all supportive of the sleeve at first. You just need to do your research so when they question you, you have all the answers. Congratulations on making the choice to improve your life. It has already made a big difference with my entire family. We are all eating healthier and my girls are wanting to walk on the treadmill! We plan on taking some of the family workout classes at the YMCA as soon as the doctor says I can go. I really am so happy I made the decision to have the sleeve. Feel free to ask me any questions.

Good luck with your decision...

It is up to you who you rell and why!

I looked into WLS for many years and I am really happy that I found the sleeve cos it is certainly the best one for me!

When I told my parents they were, at least, not happy! My mother especially... oh what do you want to do that to yourself...etc! This comes from a woman who eats less than me now I am sleeved and is tiny!!

However, as my date drew nearer they changed... once they heard what the research said and the proper information, not just scare stories!

Now, well, I wouldn't be without them... they are a good form of support and encouragement and they are proud of my weight loss to date!

Thank you so much, guys, for your words of encouragement! I know with the right information, my parents will get on board... they just worry, I know, and knowing that this *isn't* gastric bypass and *isn't* lap-band just might send them over the edge.

I'm compiling my data now!! I plan to speak with my PCM soon.

Hey Kassie!!! Welcome to VSG! I have found SO MUCH wonderful information here before and since my surgery and like I said on FB you are more then welcome to ask me any questions, I'm totally open and honest about my whole experience!

I have seen many posts on here about people who choose to not tell anyone and some who do tell! I personally told before surgery and continue to tell people but everyone has to do what is right by them and their lives!

While I was still thinking of which surgery I wanted to do I read The REAL Skinny on Weight Loss Surgery and it was a good book!!