Hey guys,

After reading and posting to a thread by Nikki about some issues with people commenting on her surgery, I started thinking about some ways I plan to deal with this post-op. I've discussed this in counseling and I've read some other threads here and there on the forum about how sleevers have handled people who go too far with comments about your surgery. I was thinking that maybe we could have a dedicated thread to discuss this.

I tend to be a little sarcastic in nature but I try to keep it under wraps. I guarantee I'm going to let it out full blast when I have to deal with rude comments. But, I'm sure others will deal with it in a more philosophical way, like this great comeback posted by mistiblu - "don't you feel like you're cheating by having surgery?" My reply, " yes, cheating obesity, heart disease, and diabetes, but cheating weight loss no".

Please post here with some situations/comments you've had and what you said or plan to say to bring all discussion to a STOP! I appreciate everyone's input because I tend to think of great comebacks 20 minutes after the person has walked off, so I'm gonna need some help in this area.

I'll kick things off...

Rude comment: You sure took the easy way out.

Response: (with a big smile) You're right. It's been SOO easy for me doing it this way...except for that pesky 2 month stringent post-op diet, and making sure I don't get dehydrated, and counting Protein and carbs. Yeah, it's been VERY easy.

good grief breezy! totally ridiculous responses and I totally understand, sadly.

My 24 year old daughter has accused me of lying to her - not because she asked me what I was doing on my birthday and I didn't tell her, but because I didn't tell her before I went to Mexico and had surgery. Ya know, she doesn't tell me what she is doing every single day. Of course, she also thinks it was a crazy choice - both the surgery itself and going to Mexico. And even tho I am losing weight and getting healthier, she has not responded to a single one of my emails congratulating me or said anything positive when she has seen me in person. That lack of communication with her right now is the source of much of my stress and it is breaking my heart.

The rest of my family and friends has been mostly supportive, or at least to my face, LOL. We have chosen not to tell anyone in my husband's family, we don't see them often and I am really not very close to any of them, except one adopted niece. My mother in law - has dementia, has had her right leg amputated and is living in an assisted care facility. She really wouldn't grasp it.

I still stand by that I did what I needed to do. Hopefully someday your family will come around, as will mine.

Edited April 26, 201016 yr by pnw218

Rude comment: are you supposed to be eating that?

Comeback: You know, you weren't there watching my every morsel when i was morbidly obese. Now I've lost ?? lbs by myself and your telling me what to eat? I don't need your bullying please!

Way too go tiffy!

how about yeah I got surgery to assist me with weightloss when are you getting surgery so you stop being an a$$hole!

LMAO HAHAHAHAHA! I LOVE THAT ONE!!!!!!:tongue_smilie::biggrin0:

the one comments i get when people know i had weightloss is the story " i had a friend aunt whos aunt had surgery who sick .......................ect." i will neve get why people do that! I have a great one today some one i worked with felt the need today to tell me a story (ive been great jobs all day long from people there always one to ruin it right.) who knew someone who had it and gained all their weight back. for this one i sayed what about that 20 pounds you gain back did you have surgery? i asked it so seriouly you know so she didn't think i was being funny. (although i really was) and she lower her head and was like oh well you know i just ate whatever i wanted yadyada. when she said that i was like well maybe your firend did too! and went along my way. point made. love the commets

People in my family know this isn't this easy way out because soooo many people we know have gained back weight after loosing it, even with different surgeries...and with me at 378 lbs they all were happy for me to do whatever it took to lose some weight. Strangers haven't said anything to me and people at work haven't said a word, even though I am open about it and tell them they all eat too much...they just laugh at/ with me...I make fun of how much they eat, etc. I work with a bunch of men, maintance dept at a chemical plant, so they all say how good I look, etc.

Not sure what I will say if anyone ever critisized me, I'm extremely sarcastic and have no problem teilling whats on my mind...guess I should be thankful no one has had the nerve to tell me anything!

All of those comments have been received from my immediate family and a long term friend. My brothers, step-sisters and mother. Yes, the very people that are supposed to be the most supportive, and loving have bashed me since losing weight.

One of my "fat" friends (as she calls herself my fat friend), told me I looked like a bobblehead doll. We've been friends for 8 years. And, she's the one that made the comment about the fajita dinner.

I've actually used all of those comebacks with my family. There are various other comments that I didn't even add in here because truthfully they cut extremely deeply. I've tried for so many years to not allow what people thought/said about me bring me down. But, sometimes, it hurts, I'm human, I have feelings, and they will never realize just how badly their little "comments out of concern" break my heart.

By the way Tiffany, you still have a very pretty face, and now a pretty body to go along with it! REALLY!

I hope that others' rude comments will just slide off that pretty little back of yours and not bother you.

Well, the truth is that this IS the easy way out. The thing is, it's also the SMART way out -- the other "ways out" don't really lead "out."

That's like saying that not crashing your car into a wall is the "easy way out." Yes... technically...

For anyone who knows the amount of work required post-op, the pain, the cost, the restrictions, the fear... it's not EASY. It's just EASIER -- not to mention safer, and smarter -- than the constant merry go round of dieting. And there's nothing wrong with that.

That lack of communication with her right now is the source of much of my stress and it is breaking my heart.

I'm sorry it is hurting like that, but I understand. When my sister & I don't get along, it bothers me constantly. I hope things get better for you and your daughter.

I'm sorry it is hurting like that, but I understand. When my sister & I don't get along, it bothers me constantly. I hope things get better for you and your daughter.

thanks, I appreciate it. she came to my younger daughter's baseball game last week, and couldn't say anything to me without sarcasm. I left the bleachers to sit by myself. Didn't want her to see the tears. I used to wash her mouth out with soap, but now she is taller and stronger than me :redface1:.

OK, for the CHEATING comment, here's what I'm thinking...

Cheating? Eating right, exercising and focusing on my health, but with a little help, is cheating? So having a personal trainer or a nutritionist or a therapist to help me as I do the right things... is that cheating too? It's a helpful tool just like those things - I still have to be the one to put in all the work - a surgery doesn't do it FOR me just like a personal trainer doesn't.

Well, the truth is that this IS the easy way out. The thing is, it's also the SMART way out -- the other "ways out" don't really lead "out."

That's like saying that not crashing your car into a wall is the "easy way out." Yes... technically...

For anyone who knows the amount of work required post-op, the pain, the cost, the restrictions, the fear... it's not EASY. It's just EASIER -- not to mention safer, and smarter -- than the constant merry go round of dieting. And there's nothing wrong with that.

All I can say to this is....

:thumbup::redface1::thumbup::001_wub:

thanks, I appreciate it. she came to my younger daughter's baseball game last week, and couldn't say anything to me without sarcasm. I left the bleachers to sit by myself. Didn't want her to see the tears. I used to wash her mouth out with soap, but now she is taller and stronger than me :redface1:.

I want to cry, seriously, I am picturing my own mom and I can't imagine hurting her like that or making her cry. I really hope your daughter comes around. In the meanwhile, I'm 26 and I will gladly be stand in for a while :001_wub: You need some mother-daughter time you come hang with me in CO. We'll get manis and pedis and go eat our tiny meals together :thumbup: I'll give you as many hugs as you would like :thumbup:

I had a good one the other day, a relative was saying it was so drastic to cut away that much of an organ..... I told her "well my big stomach has not been doing me much good" Then she brought up the old friend who died, and I just said "the surgery is a lot safer than it used to be, it's done laparoscopically and you go home the next day." Less risk to my health than staying fat.!!

I had a good one the other day, a relative was saying it was so drastic to cut away that much of an organ..... I told her "well my big stomach has not been doing me much good" Then she brought up the old friend who died, and I just said "the surgery is a lot safer than it used to be, it's done laparoscopically and you go home the next day." Less risk to my health than staying fat.!!

Ugh, this bugs me. I'd have turned around and told her "Well, it's pretty DRASTIC to live with obesity when there are other options." And doesn't everybody have a friend who died. :svengo:

The bottom line is that VSG is WAY safer than being obese is. WAY safer. Even for young people, your risk of dying from obesity is a ZILLION times higher than your risk of dying from an uncomplicated laparoscopic surgery like VSG.

So if people are arguing that you shouldn't get the surgery because of the risks, you should point this out.

Of course, the "safest" way to get skinny is through diet and exercise. But for this, you have to factor in the 95% failure rate. When you do this, the safety numbers drop dramatically and VSG starts looking good again.