I am an emotional wreck. As I am closing out my final week at work (my last day is Friday) and preparing myself for surgery on Monday, March 15, I am growing increasingly scared of the operation. I don?t think I am afraid of dying in and of itself; my biggest fear is leaving my daughter without a mother. I am a single mom and I know that no one is going to love and take care of her the way I will. This is the main thing that is really bothering me. I am tearing up thinking about it right now. I love my baby more than anything in this world and now I have been questioning the reasons I am doing this. At first I told myself that I am doing it to add years on to my life and to be around longer for my daughter. To get off of high blood pressure and high cholesterol medications. To be more active with her. Can?t I do all of this without risky surgery? Am I taking the easy way out?

I am just so scared of leaving my daughter motherless I don?t know what to do.

I can relate to how you feel...i have a 2 1/2 year old and an 11 month old and just the thought of not being in this life with them makes me have 2nd thoughts...but I also think about all the things that I don't do or enjoy in life due to my weight and think that I will be a more active and healthy and HAPPIER mom for them. I know the risks but I hope that what I have to gain will drastically outweigh those. I'm scheduled for Friday so it's REALLY sinking in now....so i hear ya~ Good luck!

Tina, those were exactly my feelings going in. I still feel that having wls will make me a better happier mom. My baby girl deserves an active mom.

Your op is Firday?!? WOW Good luck. I will have you and your family in my prayers. I cant wait to hear about your experience.

I was scared too. I also thought of the risks and what ifs. In fact only an hour before I had my surgery for a moment I thought about not going and phoning the hospital to inform my surgeon that I would not be there. It was 5:30 am. I prayed that my Lord and God would protect me asked for his mercies...and I went forward. I survived the surgery and I'm now nearly 6 months out down 70lbs. My knees do not pain me as they used to and my body is more flexable. I will keep you in prayer. I can feel your concerns and I'm glad that you reached out and expressed them in earnest...we are here for you. God be with you every second of the way. Your young and strong and a surviver...be positive and trust God! You will have victory.

LAN2K, thank you so much for this. You have no idea how much your workds mean to me. I am going to let these words resonate through my heart. I willtrust in God and I will be victorious.

You will be great. What an amazing gift to give yourself and your daughter. Our girls especially need to see that its okay for us to take care of ourselves and thats what you are about to do. This is risky, but the risk of staying obese wasn't just a possiblity that you'd develop health problems, with obesity its just a matter of when. You are eliminating that risk and giving yourself and your baby girl a chance at a long and healthy life together.

Good luck! My surgery is two weeks from tommorrow I'll be watching for updates from you.

Take care,

Anna

I've been thinking about these things lately also. Im scheduled for Monday too and I just had my will witnessed and notarized. My mother is dead set against it and swears that something will happen. I told her I will not call her until I am at home. She claims she will be ok with it but she just thinks that she will be left alone with my children (15 & 2).

Granted I gave everybody a huge scare when I had my youngest daughter in 2007 I had lots of Fluid on my lungs, couldn't breathe and was hospitalized for an additional 4 days after I had gone home with my newborn. My mother was frantic. They said I may have had all kinds of heart problems and all she saw was her being STUCK with my children. My sister died at 36, diabetes and congestive heart failure run in my family on both sides and I have high blood pressure right now. I explained to my mother and also MYSELF that I would be living in fear if I did NOTHING.

Just pray and ask God to protect you and everything will be fine!

God Bless and I look forward to hearing about your journey!

I have high blood pressure right now also. Actually I've had since I was pregnant with my daughter 5 years ago. That is one of the reasons why I am so scared of something happening. I was shocked when my PCP gave me medical clearance for the surgery. I was just sure that I was not healthy enough to undergo an elective procedure. All the doctors cant be wrong, right? I just need to trust in the surgical team and have faith the God will see me through. I am actually starting to feel better than I did a couple days ago.

We're sleeve sisters!! I cant wait to hear about your experience. good luch and God bless you and your family.

Breek, on the day of my surgery, my surgeon threw out my Blood Pressure and Cholesterol meds. Done!

I really understand your fears. I'm 59 years old and have had three surgeries in three years. Ankle repair July 2008, Gallbladder November 2009, and VSG last month. I came through each surgery easily.

I sat down and weighed the risk factors prior to committing to VSG. I realized in the end that the risk of not having the surgery was greater than having it. My family has a history of kidney failure, heart disease and stroke. I fully discussed it with my 36 year old son who totally supported my decision. Why spend the rest of your life battling your weight, being consumed by bad health, obsession over food and weight, when you can take this step and end the battle. Give yourself the gift, you truly deserve it and so does your daughter. She will be so happy to have a mom who is active in her life. You deserve a life with no shame or regret.

We're all hear to support you! I'm sending you hugs. You're going to be just fine!

Breek, on the day of my surgery, my surgeon threw out my Blood Pressure and Cholesterol meds. Done!

I really understand your fears. I'm 59 years old and have had three surgeries in three years. Ankle repair July 2008, Gallbladder November 2009, and VSG last month. I came through each surgery easily.

I sat down and weighed the risk factors prior to committing to VSG. I realized in the end that the risk of not having the surgery was greater than having it. My family has a history of kidney failure, heart disease and stroke. I fully discussed it with my 36 year old son who totally supported my decision. Why spend the rest of your life battling your weight, being consumed by bad health, obsession over food and weight, when you can take this step and end the battle. Give yourself the gift, you truly deserve it and so does your daughter. She will be so happy to have a mom who is active in her life. You deserve a life with no shame or regret.

We're all hear to support you! I'm sending you hugs. You're going to be just fine!

Lee, thank you so much for your words of encouragement. it is truly amazing how much more atease i am about the surgery this monday. i am truly excited again. i really appreciate everyone on this forum. you are all so supportive. it means the world to me.

Wow breekahouse! What a topic! I have cried my way through this entire thread. I too am a single mom and worry about things like this all the time - especially now that I'm planning on this surgery. I don't plan to tell my daughter about the surgery because I'm afraid it will scare her. It may not, since kids tend to handle these things better than we think they will. I guess I just don't want to deal with all the curious little kid questions.

I know this is going to really hit me as I get close to my surgery. Hopefully, I will be able to find this thread again when I need it most. Everyone who posted has presented compelling arguments for getting the surgery and some comforting thoughts about putting fear aside.

If you haven't already planned it, maybe you can do something really special with your daughter this weekend before your surgery. It will be great bonding time and you probably won't feel up to much of anything after surgery.

I hope that you are able to go into surgery fairly calm on Monday. But, if not, don't be ashamed to ask for something to help you calm down while you wait to go in the OR. Those last few minutes before they wheel you in are pure HELL :001_smile: and I think that I am going to ask for something in the old IV before I even get a chance to let a tear drop down my face.

Please let us know how you are doing after surgery as soon as you feel up to posting. I'll be thinking about you...and your precious little one.

Wow!!! this is an awesome post.. I am beginning to wonder do we need a support group for those who are 1 week away from surgery, 2 weeks aways from surgery, 3 weeks away from surgery, etc. (trying to lighten our topic and bring humor just a bit) (smile)

I, too, will be having surgery within a week and have 100% all of the emotions that each of you may have. I am wondering: "Did I really try to lose weight for all of these years", "I am totally confident in my decision", etc. I am a single parent also with a new granddaughter is my heart. Each time I reply my decision, I come back to my reasons for considering and contemplating the surgery. While each of us have our own decisions, my decisions are that I want to be the healthest and BEST Brenda that I can be!!!.. I am not doing this to become a size 4 and look like a Beyounce or some movie star! I am doing this because my weight has been a burden for far to long. I have denied it my weight issues for far too long. I have overcompensated for my weight issues for far too long. And, I cannot continue to say that my weight at 290 lbs is just a "figment of my imagination". It is not healthy and I cannot get control of it doing things which I have previous done. I need a tool which can assist me portion control and help me evaluate everything which I eat. In turn, all of my work towards execerising and choosing different choices will allow me to "see" the health benefits.

I am soo very sorry for this long post; however, the question just became therapy for me to write and share my fears and emotions with this group. To all my veterans sleevers, I just sooo thank you for your support in helping me understand and share experience on weight. Hopefully, I can one day help others as you guys have helped me. My sleeve date is March 19, 2010 and I ask for all prayers as well. @ Breek.. know that God places people and decisions in your life for a reason, season and purpose. Please consider and contemplate your decision as ask yourself which direction (i.e "Is your weight lost journey for a reason, season or purpose") to help you find solice in your decision.

Be always Blessed, my friends and new family, until next time..

Brenda

Dr. Aceves

March 19, 2010 - The Real Journey Begins....

I made it through! Headed home in a bit!!!

My surgery is March 18th and I have had some of the same concerns. I am excited one minute and scared the next. I am really confident with my surgeon and his staff. But we all question ourselves as time grows closer. I am prayful that everything goes fine. I am a true believer in Jesus Christ and I feel that he has our path already mapped out. We have been blessed with the knowledge to choose this surgery and the MD and be able to pay for it or have the insurance. He could make it so none of it worked together. We all look at things differently but we all need or needed this surgery and will be better, healthier because of it.

I have started my week long liquid diet. I wont have another piece of solid food in my mouth for a month. But It will be worth it. Obesity is a disease we must remember that. Are we willing to fight or sit back and let it take over our lives. I think not. I wish you all well. I will be praying for a speedy recovery for my self and all of you!!!!!!

Surgery Date March 18,2010

Lap band 6/2007

Lap band Removed 9/2009

It's strange, but I'm having my surgery in 6 days and I haven't been very scared at all. Really I only have two concerns, one realistic and one not: (1) that I'll be the one person the sleeve doesn't work for, which is pretty common and silly, and (2) that I'll be too tired and worn out to keep up with all my work and school and family obligations post-surgery, which is realistic but which there's really not much I can do about unless and until it happens.

Mostly, though, I'm just tremendously excited. I have battled my weight since I was NINE YEARS OLD -- that's more than forty years now! So the thought of finally being free of the battle is just overwhelming. So I'm concentrating on the upside and keeping a smile on my face! :thumbup1:

I made it through! Headed home in a bit!!!

YAY Lynda!!! I've got a cozy spot on the Loser's Bench just for you!

Brenda,

I loved every word of your post. I know that you think that your journey is just beginning and I can relate to that, but I think it's our journey thus far that has brought us to this place. You're going to be just fine!

(2) that I'll be too tired and worn out to keep up with all my work and school and family obligations post-surgery, which is realistic but which there's really not much I can do about unless and until it happens.

The way I look at it, I think I've been exhausted from carrying around 100 extra pounds for many years. While I get tired at the office now, I did get back into work just seven days post-op. This week I've been working full 8 hour days. I do have a desk job and I'm lucky enough to live alone and just need to look after myself. I think that you'll find you have a surge of energy sometime post op without your extra weight that will make you marvel. I already move so much easier! You're so right, there's nothing you can do about the fatigue until (and if) it happens. Wishing you all good things!

I made it through! Headed home in a bit!!!

Awesome Lynda!!! Can't wait to hear the details of your experience. Congratulations!