I am an emotional wreck. As I am closing out my final week at work (my last day is Friday) and preparing myself for surgery on Monday, March 15, I am growing increasingly scared of the operation. I don?t think I am afraid of dying in and of itself; my biggest fear is leaving my daughter without a mother. I am a single mom and I know that no one is going to love and take care of her the way I will. This is the main thing that is really bothering me. I am tearing up thinking about it right now. I love my baby more than anything in this world and now I have been questioning the reasons I am doing this. At first I told myself that I am doing it to add years on to my life and to be around longer for my daughter. To get off of high blood pressure and high cholesterol medications. To be more active with her. Can?t I do all of this without risky surgery? Am I taking the easy way out?

I am just so scared of leaving my daughter motherless I don?t know what to do.

I think what you are feeling is normal. I am scheduled for surgery in 2 days and I feel the exact same way as you. My children are my LIFE. I think it has something to do with this being an elective procedure for me. I haven't felt this way for any previous surgeries I have had but they were not elective. So I am thinking for me that has a lot to do with it.

I am TRYING to be as confident as possible and know that there are many surgeries performed every day and 99% of them go as planned with no complications.

I know we will both be fine and be so happy with our decisions! Let's try to face this surgery head on with a postitve attitude and KNOW that everything will work out fine!

I can't relate because I don't have children. However, you're definitely not taking the easy way out. I can attest to that. All this surgery does is give you a bit of control. Not ALL, just some.

Obesity is a horrible example for our children. With you fit and healthy, there's a better chance that you'll raise her to be active and healthy. Actually, I think if I'd done something like this 10 years ago, I wouldn't be childless.

I think what you are feeling is normal. I am scheduled for surgery in 2 days and I feel the exact same way as you. My children are my LIFE. I think it has something to do with this being an elective procedure for me. I haven't felt this way for any previous surgeries I have had but they were not elective. So I am thinking for me that has a lot to do with it.

I am TRYING to be as confident as possible and know that there are many surgeries performed every day and 99% of them go as planned with no complications.

I know we will both be fine and be so happy with our decisions! Let's try to face this surgery head on with a postitve attitude and KNOW that everything will work out fine!

LyndaRN, thanks for replying! i am so glad i am not alone in haing last minute jitters. realistically i know that this is the best thing i can do do for us. i mean if i had been able to take the weight off (and keep it off) myself then i wouldnt need the surgery. i have been going through ups and downfor the past week but i know what i am going to do. i just wish i could get my emotions in check.

I went through some similar emotions, but I knew it wasn't the easy way out. Making lifestyle changes is never easy, and accepting that was a big challenge for me. I have an 11 yr old son who is the light in my life, and I was fearful of leaving him motherless, but I was more worried of not seeing him graduate, marry, or be able to see grandchildren.

My son is so proud of my progress. He loves that I am more active, and even through my complications, and very difficult recovery, he was my main source of support, and we are closer because of what we endured this past summer while John was deployed.

I'll keep you in my thoughts as I know it's difficult to even think about leaving our little ones too early. Just trust in your own personal faith, and your surgical/anesthesia team.

oh no, please think that everything will be fine....have faith in God and ask Him to protect you in everyway throughout your surgery.....got to be positive. i wish you the best of luck!!!

I can't relate because I don't have children. However, you're definitely not taking the easy way out. I can attest to that. All this surgery does is give you a bit of control. Not ALL, just some.

Obesity is a horrible example for our children. With you fit and healthy, there's a better chance that you'll raise her to be active and healthy. Actually, I think if I'd done something like this 10 years ago, I wouldn't be childless.

tracey, i agree that obesity is a horrible example for our children. that was also one of my reasons for electing to have wls. i also want to have more children some day and the is not likely with me being this fat. thanks for the encouragement.

don't worry honey, it's totally normal to be a little nervous/scared. Hell my surgery is 12 weeks away and yesterday I had a huge panic attack about doing something so drastic so young, and almost called my surgeon to tell him I'd changed my mind.

But this is definitely a good thing you're doing, for you and your daughter. She'll be so proud of you once you've finished this journey, and it's not an easy way out. So don't think that. You're going to be fine poppet, don't stress!

I can relate to how you feel...i have a 2 1/2 year old and an 11 month old and just the thought of not being in this life with them makes me have 2nd thoughts...but I also think about all the things that I don't do or enjoy in life due to my weight and think that I will be a more active and healthy and HAPPIER mom for them. I know the risks but I hope that what I have to gain will drastically outweigh those. I'm scheduled for Friday so it's REALLY sinking in now....so i hear ya~ Good luck!

I was scared too. I also thought of the risks and what ifs. In fact only an hour before I had my surgery for a moment I thought about not going and phoning the hospital to inform my surgeon that I would not be there. It was 5:30 am. I prayed that my Lord and God would protect me asked for his mercies...and I went forward. I survived the surgery and I'm now nearly 6 months out down 70lbs. My knees do not pain me as they used to and my body is more flexable. I will keep you in prayer. I can feel your concerns and I'm glad that you reached out and expressed them in earnest...we are here for you. God be with you every second of the way. Your young and strong and a surviver...be positive and trust God! You will have victory.

There is always a risk when you are sedated; you have to weigh the pros and cons. I am always nervous about waking up and have had a few elective surgeries. I always wonder if I am being selfish and not thinking about my family.

In this case - our families are a huge part of why we want this surgery. So we can spend more, quality time with them.

Ask your doctor for something to relax you before surgery. Dr. Almanza allowed me to have a dose of valium in my iv and it really helped. I was feeling very frustrated with myself for not being able to accomplish this without surgery.

Go into it with a positive attitude and I believe your recovery will be easier.

Good Luck!

Hi,

My surgery is scheduled for March 30th, and I've been having the same fears as you recently. My daughter will be 2 in April, and I keep thinking about something happening and leaving her motherless.

I'm scared of of not waking up from the Anastasia, or getting a deadly infection, or dying of a blood clot post op. I've even cried over this the past few days.

I keep telling myself that the odds of dying in a car accident on the way to the hospital are probably greater than dying from the surgery or complications from surgery.

I'm sure all will go fine! I'll be thinking of you on the 15th!

breekahouse,

I can soooo relate! My revision is scheduled for the 16th. I had the same fears cropping up. I know I will be in good hands with Dr. Aceves. I got my bags packed ready to go, with my last minute check list (don't want to forget my sunglasses!) I work till I leave so that will occupy my mind. The best of luck to you. Let us know how you do. (I will do the same!!)

D.

I went through some similar emotions, but I knew it wasn't the easy way out. Making lifestyle changes is never easy, and accepting that was a big challenge for me. I have an 11 yr old son who is the light in my life, and I was fearful of leaving him motherless, but I was more worried of not seeing him graduate, marry, or be able to see grandchildren.

My son is so proud of my progress. He loves that I am more active, and even through my complications, and very difficult recovery, he was my main source of support, and we are closer because of what we endured this past summer while John was deployed.

I'll keep you in my thoughts as I know it's difficult to even think about leaving our little ones too early. Just trust in your own personal faith, and your surgical/anesthesia team.

Thank you Tiffy! you always know what to say. My daughter knows what mommy is doing and she is very excited. She said that she will like me better if I am skinny like her (she just turned 5). it doesnt sound like a nice thing to say to someone, but I know what she meant. I had to explain to her that the result will not be immediate after mommy comes home from the doctor, rather it will take some time for me to get 'skinny like her'. she just stared at me blankly. Kids.....

don't worry honey, it's totally normal to be a little nervous/scared. Hell my surgery is 12 weeks away and yesterday I had a huge panic attack about doing something so drastic so young, and almost called my surgeon to tell him I'd changed my mind.

But this is definitely a good thing you're doing, for you and your daughter. She'll be so proud of you once you've finished this journey, and it's not an easy way out. So don't think that. You're going to be fine poppet, don't stress!

Thank you you blaqk! I am trying my best to have positve thoughts. I really do know this is not the easy way out but my mind is working overtime nowadays. I cant wait to just get this over with!

I've been thinking about these things lately also. Im scheduled for Monday too and I just had my will witnessed and notarized. My mother is dead set against it and swears that something will happen. I told her I will not call her until I am at home. She claims she will be ok with it but she just thinks that she will be left alone with my children (15 & 2).

Granted I gave everybody a huge scare when I had my youngest daughter in 2007 I had lots of Fluid on my lungs, couldn't breathe and was hospitalized for an additional 4 days after I had gone home with my newborn. My mother was frantic. They said I may have had all kinds of heart problems and all she saw was her being STUCK with my children. My sister died at 36, diabetes and congestive heart failure run in my family on both sides and I have high blood pressure right now. I explained to my mother and also MYSELF that I would be living in fear if I did NOTHING.

Just pray and ask God to protect you and everything will be fine!

God Bless and I look forward to hearing about your journey!