I am wondering about telling friends and co-workers about having this kind of surgery. Did you tell? Why or why not?

I have mentioned to only 3 people at work that I am researching WLS. I work at a large university and know lots of people on campus, so I know there will be "chatter" when I start dropping weight. I suppose I'll have to tell folks that I work with why I will be gone a week or more too. I am a light-weight (yeah, right) too, so I know people will wonder why I NEEDED to get surgery.

Here's a strange thing....I feel like I am exposing my secret that I'm fat if I tell people I am getting WLS. Isn't that silly? I'm pretty sure they can all see that I'm fat, but that's kind of how I feel.

I tell anyone who cares to hear! I believe the more this sleeve surgery gets publicized the better as so many only know of the bypass or the band. With so many obese people out there - they really need to hear about this! I love my sleeve so much I could shout it from the housetop! Yes, at 190 lbs NOW, they wonder why I needed it but at thirty pounds heavier and with my arthritis problems they quickly understand!

Folks, don't keep this under a bushell! It needs to be heard - you may only ever help one other individual but that would be wonderful! And they would tell and those would go and and tell and pretty soon you have created the ripple effect and many could be helped down the road. Weren't you glad and grateful you found this? I sure am, and don't give a rat's ass what anyone else thinks - with my enthusiasm they don't get a chance to rip me apart in any shape or form! I just bowl them over with positives. Had a rough start with my daughter when I told her what and where I was having this done, but she came around quite nicely and is having the procedure herself in a month at the same place. My sister too! Can't argue with the success I am having!

Cheers,

Donna

Everyone is different. I have seen and heard a lot of malicious gossip.

At one company I used to know who would be leaving the company before he/she did because I heard malicious gossip coming from the cubicle next to mine. Sure enough about 6 months later, he/she anounced that he/she just couldn't pass up this opportunity at another company. After seeing this pattern with about a dozen people, I was convinced of the dangerous power of malicious gossip.

I have heard people pass on the most private and embarrasing things about other people. While I find this kind of thing shocking and do not participate in it, it has made me very reluctant to be an "open book."

I have only told my husband, daughter, and my best friend.

I hear you Rose, after being an open book myself, I learned the hard way at my last job, and promised myself I would never be that way again. I feel much better keeping my private life private at work. Being the object of malicious gossip is horrible and I don't want to go through that again. I just want to get on with the business of living life as a thin person. But, even my sister commented today that I was at a normal weight and if I lost any more I would look about 100 yrs old. That stuff sabatoges me. She is a size 10, I wear a 14/16. What is that about?? I have 38 lbs to go to be at a normal weight. Whatever....sometimes, I just wish I would have never told them. But, I am so grateful for all of your support and I hope I can support all of you.

Edited December 7, 200916 yr by Steph_123

I told no one. Hubby, Sister (because she lives near me and would have missed me), my daughter (who came with me), and one son found out. It is nobody's business. This losing weight is hard work. I'M doing it. The sleeve helps but the sleeve does not equal weight loss unless you do the work. We have a large family and they LOVE to gossip. I refuse to be the topic of the day. This is my personal business.

OTOH, I did tell two close friends who have struggled with weight right along with me and now have be having weight related health issues. I would love to see them follow in my footsteps. Sis did just this last week.

If anyone asks, I have been following a low calorie, low carb diet and increased my exercise. That is not a lie. THAT is how the weight is coming off.

I chose not to tell anyone because I needed time to rest after the op and didn't want loads of guest dropping by, all amazed, wondering how I doin. I also didn't want to have to explain myself to everyone. I don't like repeating the same story over and over, I know too many people, it would take up a lot of my time. You can't not tell one you have started ha ha. Now word has got out and they have all told whoever they wanted to and very few will honestly tell you what they think of your choise. Some are happy for me others look at me and I can see them thinking, what have you done! It is strange really. Now that the weight is coming off they are starting to comment on it and it feels good to know that it is noticalbe already.

As my date comes closer too, I've told more people. . . actually at work I've been getting quite a few negatives. . . one good one was " I can't believe the director actually approved your surgery, doesn't he know it's elective and you don't really need it". . . that one nearly blew my mind, but of course if you saw that person you'd understand. . . very selfish, fat, and jealous. . . another one of course reminded me of the model from Buenos Aires who died from the butt implant. . . I reminded her that I wasn't getting my ass worked on so I didn't need to worry about that. . . she shut up pretty fast. . . I'm sure that since these two people know about the surgery, it won't take long before the whole company knows. . . but that is ok! I haven't told my mom, sister or brother because they are worse then my co-workers. . . I'll tell my mom when she comes to visit me next year and notices my weight loss. . . or I'll just tell her I'm eating less and exercising, which of course won't be a lie. . . hehehe. . . but yeah, damned if you do, and damned if you don't. . . if your too fat your told not to eat too much, if your losing weight, your told not to lose too much. . . people have soooooooooooooo much advice, but they themselves don't listen to their own yapping. . . .good luck with all y'all do!

I hear you Rose, after being an open book myself, I learned the hard way at my last job, and promised myself I would never be that way again. I feel much better keeping my private life private at work. Being the object of malicious gossip is horrible and I don't want to go through that again. I just want to get on with the business of living life as a thin person. But, even my sister commented today that I was at a normal weight and if I lost any more I would look about 100 yrs old. That stuff sabatoges me. She is a size 10, I wear a 14/16. What is that about?? I have 38 lbs to go to be at a normal weight. Whatever....sometimes, I just wish I would have never told them. But, I am so grateful for all of your support and I hope I can support all of you.

Steph, my mom told me about looking old. . . she said "if you lose weight, you will look much older then your sister, do you really want that" I was really upset with mom, and told her it didn't matter as long as the pains went away. . . she didn't say much after that. . . but how dare she. . .

I told my my fiance and one good friend before I had the surgery. Afterwards, I told 2 other good friends, a couple friend of ours, and another friend who's husband is getting the band (wont' even go there). I did not tell ANYONE at work as I keep my private life private and people there love to gossip. I also did not tell anyone in my family as they are the worst for judging. None of them live near me and I don't see any of them on a regular basis, so I figured it wasn't any of their business. It's a personal matter and there is no right or wrong answer in my opinion. Do what makes you feel the most comfortable.

I've addressed the weight loss issue with everyone at work by the fact that I had a hiatal hernia repaired (not a lie) and had to follow a post-op diet (again, not a lie) and now I am just eating healthier and a lot less (again, not a lie).

prefer to keep it private. Only my wife knows. Will tell my kids when in a couple of weeks when the surgery date is very close. Don't pan to tell anyone else. If they ask post surgery I will not lie. But I will not volunteer it otherwise.

I am 7 weeks post. Peopleare really starting to notice the wwight loss. I have to find a way to tell them. I just can't yet. I feel like a bit of a fraud. They know I am "dieting" and going to the gym now 6 days a week. I just do not know how to bring it up this late in the game. Maybe it will be my New Years resolution. I can tell you all this, the people I have told, are all across the board on advice, comments, etc. I have enough to deal with right now, I do not want to deal with others issues. (except here of course)

You know, women used to get plastic surgery and everyone would whisper about it behind their backs. they never told their ages, or what surgerys they had done. I don't know if that was such a bad era.

I just do not want my weight to be the topic of discussion every time I see someone.

I think I will just keep it to my self and my little circle that knows for awhile longer.

Not honest or very brave on my part, but, I like the idea of being a bit selfish "for me" right now.

I'm with stoongal-

I wanna yell it from the rooftops!! I'm glad I made the decision to be honest from the getgo.... mainly because I KNEW I had a lot of weight to lose! And I was thinking "POSITIVE" that it would come off fast- and it has!!

I've had people look at me questionably at first... but now.........They can SEE such a transformation!

I have a few at work that always wannna talk about my "butt" ( ar lack of one) All in good fun- but can see some of the jealousy in a few that can't believe I am in a SMALLER size than they are:001_tongue:

Guess you just had to see me before to understand... I can understand it, because I NEVER dreamed I would be this size!

I don't think anybody should feel bad about keeping it to themselves. I think it is a very personal decision, we are all who we are now, and who we will become in the future, based on the experiences we've had (will have) in life...and we just have to make the best decisions we can make that fit with our lives and philosophies.

I deeply resent being told I'm not being honest if I do not choose to share my personal information. I see this on another board I post to also. At least give us credit as to knowing who our audience is. Please also allow us to maintain our privacy with dignity too.

As my date comes closer too, I've told more people. . . actually at work I've been getting quite a few negatives. . . one good one was " I can't believe the director actually approved your surgery, doesn't he know it's elective and you don't really need it". . . that one nearly blew my mind, but of course if you saw that person you'd understand. . . very selfish, fat, and jealous. . . another one of course reminded me of the model from Buenos Aires who died from the butt implant. . . I reminded her that I wasn't getting my ass worked on so I didn't need to worry about that. . . she shut up pretty fast. . . I'm sure that since these two people know about the surgery, it won't take long before the whole company knows. . . but that is ok! I haven't told my mom, sister or brother because they are worse then my co-workers. . . I'll tell my mom when she comes to visit me next year and notices my weight loss. . . or I'll just tell her I'm eating less and exercising, which of course won't be a lie. . . hehehe. . . but yeah, damned if you do, and damned if you don't. . . if your too fat your told not to eat too much, if your losing weight, your told not to lose too much. . . people have soooooooooooooo much advice, but they themselves don't listen to their own yapping. . . .good luck with all y'all do!

I can TOTALLY relate.... When I told people at work I got some bad reactions here and there. "please don't do this, I had a friend who died form this kind of surgery" "you don't need that, all you have to do it cut back and exercise" "your not big enough to have that kind of surgery"

"why would you want to do that to yourself ?" But the there were, " I'm so happy for you, you'll feel so much better when you loose weight" "awww good for you, you go girl ! " " I wish I could afford to have it done, I'd do it too" so you never know what kind of reaction you'll get, they're all different. It's a good thing other people's opinions about my personal life don't matter to me. GOD is the only one who matters.

I'm doing this for me ! I've sacrificed all my life, for my family, It's MY time.

And I took it!!! I'm SOOO Happy I did. I will have to deal with jealousy when I get back, but I can handle it. :001_tongue: