Guys I have some kind of strange thinking going on. I wanted to see if anyone else felt this way. I am on full liquids/mushies hybrid thing now after a long bout of clears. My doctor wanted me to ease into mushies from full liquids because I spent too long on clears (long story, not my fault). My diet is still mostly liquids because of a few reasons. Unless it is really mushed, like baby food, it causes the dreaded esophagus or stomach cramps. I am not sure which. It does not matter how much I chew either. It has to be pureed or pain will soon follow.

So the strange thinking? I am afraid to eat sometimes, like seriously afraid. I forget to eat which I know is common after surgery but sometimes I get major anxiety about eating, even drinking my shakes. I look at the calories and think ?I could just skip this and lose more weight?. My husband is worried enough he had a talk with me last night about just how many calories I am actually getting. I woke up yet again yesterday with the shakes and he took my blood sugar (he is diabetic not me) and it was 51:001_unsure:. I think this is what triggered the ?talk?. My calories each day? About 350 ? 400. I don?t think that is bad. My doctor just said stay under 800. I don?t feel tired but I am foggy sometimes. I forget stuff all the time now though.

I guess my point in this ramble is: Is anyone afraid of eating now? Like the inner skinny person is admonishing you for eating anything? I always would get angry at myself when I would eat before surgery because I made such bad choices. Sometimes I would tell myself how fat and ugly I was. Now I can go without eating and I feel like I should to make up for all the bad eating. I am scared if I eat too many more calories (like 600 to 800) I might stop losing. I have been on this full liquids/mushies hybrid thing for 1 week and only lost 2 lbs so I am scared to get on the scale again. I feel like for the first time in my life I am in control of my eating and I don?t want to give in to any eating or I might lose that control again. I wanted the tight reign on my stomach and I got it but now my husband (and coworkers) are hassling me that I am not eating enough. I am still 57 lbs overweight. How could I not be eating enough? I wish people would get out of my business and stop obsessing about what I am putting in my mouth. I leave a shake box on my desk now so they think I am drinking my shakes. Ugh.

What do you all think? Am I just a mess or? Be brutally honest.

I'd be up for a cruise as well. I've never been on a cruise and think it would be fabulous ! ! !

I don't eat cottage cheese (it's a consistency/texture thing), and I was eating cheddar, and colby jack cheese with deli meat that caused my constipation.

You'll do great. Like Vegas said, just stay positive, and you'll get there. Just take it day by day, sip by sip, bite by bite.

That right Tiff, it's all I can do really!

Well, starvation mode is a myth. If you maintain a calorie deficit, you lose weight even though your metabolism slows. Study after study has shown that.

But you can lose good weight -- fat -- or bad weight -- muscle and organs. So you don't want to be on an impossibly low calorie diet for a very long time and you need to get your Protein in. If you get your protein in, the calories will follow naturally, so that's good. (One less thing to worry about. )

I wouldn't stress over following all the rules 100% at this point either. When you are 0-3 months out, your stomach is swollen enough that it makes everything hard. No sense making it even harder on yourself by trying to be super-strict. It's better to get all your Fluid and protein in than to be "pure" about your eating.

In the early days, I would make sure everything I put in my mouth had protein in it. If I drank it, it was a Protein shake or drink. If I ate it, it was high protein. I bought the special bariatric foods that have 12-15g of protein each and I drank protein hot chocolate like it was going out of style. I never drank plain Water -- at a minimum, it had South Beach Tide me Over in it -- but, if I could stomach it, I'd make a protein drink instead.

The one week I tried to drink a lot of plain water is the week I ended up in the ER passing a kidney stone, so I learned my lesson there!

Now, once I got farther out, it got easier and I could drink plain water and not everything I ate had to be high protein. But in the early days I had to really work at it.

More on so-called starvation mode:

Fatty Fights Back: MTYHBUSTERS: Starvation Mode

I went and talked with my therapist about my issues yesterday. I was given some things to do. First was basically to eat, something, anything. I bought some cottage cheese and ate it after the appointment. I didn't realize how bad I looked but the front desk was so worried about the way I looked physically she got my psychiatrist (meds doctor) out of a meeting to come take a look at me and talk. Then my therapist got to me and I got a talking to! They also threatened to call my surgeon who would give me a good talking to also, he might even call my husband. So I am back on the plan. No more of this nonsense. We talked about some of the reasons I am doing these things. I will elaborate later when I am not at work. Maybe it will help someone down the road.

I did not realize how foggy I was thinking and how bad I looked until I was marched in front of a mirror. :crying:

Today I have had my morning shake (7 am) and I just ate my "snack", 2 slices swiss cheese with 3 oz hummus. I am full but I am trying. I have two meatballs and a shake to go before 5 :ohmy: We will see.

You can do it!! I'm so proud of you for taking the REAL control back!!

I went and talked with my therapist about my issues yesterday. I was given some things to do. First was basically to eat, something, anything. I bought some cottage cheese and ate it after the appointment. I didn't realize how bad I looked but the front desk was so worried about the way I looked physically she got my psychiatrist (meds doctor) out of a meeting to come take a look at me and talk. Then my therapist got to me and I got a talking to! They also threatened to call my surgeon who would give me a good talking to also, he might even call my husband. So I am back on the plan. No more of this nonsense. We talked about some of the reasons I am doing these things. I will elaborate later when I am not at work. Maybe it will help someone down the road.

I did not realize how foggy I was thinking and how bad I looked until I was marched in front of a mirror. :crying:

Today I have had my morning shake (7 am) and I just ate my "snack", 2 slices swiss cheese with 3 oz hummus. I am full but I am trying. I have two meatballs and a shake to go before 5 :ohmy: We will see.

SoCal - I am SO GLAD you have someone to talk to about this and that are helping you to see the light - you're doing great so far - you'll get the 2 meatballs in (that's what I just had for lunch) and your shake and I bet you'll begin to feel less foggy -- and start to look better, too. This surgery is to help you take your life back, not to make yourself sicker -- I know how you feel about being afraid to eat - bjut in order to get better you need to do it -- you'll see, soon, that you aren't going to eat too much - you just CAN'T so then you'll feel more comfortable and in control of what you do eat.

Please keep us posted and definitely post anything you can to help others who might have this battle too.

One day at a time - sometimes one hour or one minute at a time - that's all you can do!

Here i go guys I'm about to endeavor on some cottage cheese and applesauce. Lets hope it sits well...it's my first actual soft food and my surgeon just told me to chew the heck out of the cottage cheese so it's like a liquid. I guess it's cos I'm only 14 days out. Hmm I am just so hungry I hope this won't hurt.

So how did your sleeve like the cottage cheese lan2K?

I enjoyed it and my sleeve kept me in check while eating it. There was some sensation in the center of my chest (like air or something) and that signaled me to go s l o w, take a break and try to burp. I am begining to understand what "head hunger" means...for me it means eating something a little bit too fast. So I cautiously ate about 2 tablespoons of cottage cheese and applesauce and it was delicious. So far I think I'm OK. Thanks for asking Cajun. So how are you doing?

Lan - Think of it as a huge victory, and you're definitely headed in the right direction ! ! !

Lan - one thing that I found I could get down - and turned out it was good - even Ruthi liked it and ate it alot, too - was to blend a hard boiled egg yolk with some cottage cheese - I have a stick blender and it blended it very creamy -- it was high in protein and was easy to eat -- You could add a little low fat mayo if need be and some pepper ... just a thought!

Glad you did well with the cottage cheese and applesauce ... each day will get easier!

I'm glad you have people looking out for you, DownInSoCal.

I went and talked with my therapist about my issues yesterday. I was given some things to do. First was basically to eat, something, anything. I bought some cottage cheese and ate it after the appointment. I didn't realize how bad I looked but the front desk was so worried about the way I looked physically she got my psychiatrist (meds doctor) out of a meeting to come take a look at me and talk. Then my therapist got to me and I got a talking to! They also threatened to call my surgeon who would give me a good talking to also, he might even call my husband. So I am back on the plan. No more of this nonsense. We talked about some of the reasons I am doing these things. I will elaborate later when I am not at work. Maybe it will help someone down the road.

I did not realize how foggy I was thinking and how bad I looked until I was marched in front of a mirror. :crying:

Today I have had my morning shake (7 am) and I just ate my "snack", 2 slices swiss cheese with 3 oz hummus. I am full but I am trying. :001_cool: I have two meatballs and a shake to go before 5 :ohmy: We will see.

I am helped already just seeing how important it may be to have a support system in place as you do. Since this surgery my mind has been racing round the clock. I'm finding complex issues surfacing with regard to food and eating. I was warned when considering surgery. After reading this I've decided to make an appointment with the psychologist I met with previous to the surgery. This is his area of focus. I hope to hear more from you.

I enjoyed it and my sleeve kept me in check while eating it. There was some sensation in the center of my chest (like air or something) and that signaled me to go s l o w, take a break and try to burp. I am begining to understand what "head hunger" means...for me it means eating something a little bit too fast. So I cautiously ate about 2 tablespoons of cottage cheese and applesauce and it was delicious. So far I think I'm OK. Thanks for asking Cajun. So how are you doing?

Good for you!

I am doing well this evening. Had some lower GI problem still today but hopefully that is all done.

Lan - one thing that I found I could get down - and turned out it was good - even Ruthi liked it and ate it alot, too - was to blend a hard boiled egg yolk with some cottage cheese - I have a stick blender and it blended it very creamy -- it was high in Protein and was easy to eat -- You could add a little low fat mayo if need be and some pepper ... just a thought!

Glad you did well with the cottage cheese and applesauce ... each day will get easier!

That sounds delicious, high in protein and easy. I have a "magic bullet" blender. I will try that out and let you know. I really appreciate the recipe. It's so great to be able to share on here. Thanks so much.

Good for you!

I am doing well this evening. Had some lower GI problem still today but hopefully that is all done.

Thanks Cajun. Please keep us informed.