Hello everyone,

I've read a lot about physical preparation for surgery... but not much about the emotional preparation. I'm finding that one day I am very excited anticipating my surgery and the results... and the next day I'm crying and feeling sad and overwhelmed.

I have lost 50lb on my own, and I know how hard it is... I anticipate that the band is going to be a tool to help me, but that it is still going to be a very difficult process. Yes, I am up to it, and I really want to do the work... but at the same time I believe there is a bit of grieving that needs to take place for my "old" life, and body that I have had for 20 years.... even though the changes will be positive. I have carried a lot of shame for many years, and I think preparing for the surgery is making me come head to head with it.

I'm wondering, for those who have been through the whole process... is there anything you would recommend doing to take care of yourself emotionally - or that you wish you had done?

If you must grieve... grieve for the shame you felt, and be happy about getting your life back on track. I can eat anything today that I could before surgery. I just control my portions, and don't use food as a crutch. You can do it if you truly WANT it! Emotional is normal at this stage and for a month or two after surgery. Hang in there though and you will not regret it! Post here if you need help or support!

The first thing you have to do is let go of the guilt and the shame because it will just hold you down. Start fresh and new and you will do great!!

Such a good question! Even though I thought I was mentally prepared, everyday is such a roller coaster ride for me. Sounds like you're preparing yourself and that's a great start. Best wishes to you!

I am so feeling the same way. My surgery is 5 days away. Yesterday I was so happy and today I am a bundle of nerves. I just feel blah and want to hide under the covers and cry. I am so excited for this opoortunity, yet so scared of failure. All my life I have wanted to be NOT FAT!! Now that I am fixing to have the tool I need, my head is filled with doubt. UGH!! I dont like it. Sorry I cant help...just know I know how you feel....

the past is over....we cant go back and change it...instead embrace it.....use what you are/were to remind yourself of what you will be....i believe in want power.......i dont dig willpower as i can will myself into anything..but i wanted to lose weight bad enough that i made my mind up to do whatever i had to make it happen...all want power....i either do it or i dont......its up to me and it will be up to you also...hang in there...you took that first step, keep going.

thank you for the replies everyone. This is such a difficult process, and at this time I am studying social work and of course we are being fully encouraged to have full self-awareness, so that also puts a point on it for me. I feel like I can "exorcise" so to speak some of the bad feelings by feeling them and letting them go.

I definitely want this as it took a lot to face up to and make the decision. Krg you hang in there as well - we can do this

This post has helped me as well. I am a nervous wreck and I haven't even had my first appointment with the surgeon yet to get the ball rolling. I can only imagine how I will feel as things start moving.

thank you for the replies everyone. This is such a difficult process, and at this time I am studying social work and of course we are being fully encouraged to have full self-awareness, so that also puts a point on it for me. I feel like I can "exorcise" so to speak some of the bad feelings by feeling them and letting them go.

I definitely want this as it took a lot to face up to and make the decision. Krg you hang in there as well - we can do this

This is so normal. I cried at the drop of a hat before having the surgery. I was frightened of it working, of it failing, of me failing, of making a bad decision..... I'm now 2 1/2 months post op and I've found that I can manage fine and have been losing steadily. No stuck episodes so far, I follow the rules....1,000 calories or so a day, small bites, chew well....I've gone out to dinner with friends and family several times and was so nervous at first until I realized I could eat out and not bring attention to myself and not overeat. I also noticed that my normal weight friends almost always do not finish what they eat either so no one pays attention to what I eat or don't eat. You are doing great so far. Take a deep breath and know that so many other have felt as you do. Congrats on beginning your journey to a better quality of life.