Ok ladys I'm in need of some advise. I have been married for almost 5 years now. My wife have a very strong relationship but now I'm confused. A few years back she wanted to know what I thought about "toys" in the bed room. I told her I dont have a problem with it as long as she didn't go all 50 shades on me. So, she kinda shruged it off and we went on our merry way. Well recently while looking for the t.v. Remote I find her toy box in her night stand. I dont have a problem with them it's just why didn't she tell me about them? And everytime I bring up the subject of toys she dismisses it. Am I missing something?

Try bringing it in the bedroom next time yall do your thing. I have toys but usually keep it hush hush til the guy suggests trying it. Or even buy a new toy and ask if you guys can try it out?

But, why did she not even tell me she got them in the first place? I hate secerets and she knows that. I have talked to her about them and all she did was laugh at me like i was tellin a joke or something.

It can be a little personal and uncomfortable to bring up. To help break down the embarrassment factor, suggest you bring up that you'd like to play with them together. I understand your aversion to secrets, but this is a thing many people have been given the impression its dirty or wrong (which it's not, just something not to advertise to the world), dont think she has kept it to herself to hurt or upset you. hope you can move on and find a positive way to enjoy them together

Maybe after trying them she decided they were fine in a pinch but not as satisfying as YOU. So if you has access to you she does'nt need/want them.

Toys are fun..it's called self-soothing for adults. And it is not a reflection on the time u spend together

I have Transformers and a Princess Leia action figure in my nightstand. She has her toys and I have mine. :-)

Sorry, don't mean to make light of the subject, but yeah I think because of the stigma that it is dirty or wrong is why she may not have told you. Same with guys who don't feel telling their partners when they masturbate. My wife has no idea it's the first thing I do when I get home from work. My advice to you is to let her know you'd love to help her use them the next time she's in the mood. You never know. Good luck my friend!

But' date=' why did she not even tell me she got them in the first place? I hate secerets and she knows that. I have talked to her about them and all she did was laugh at me like i was tellin a joke or something.[/quote']

Do you tell her everytime you masterbate?... its not really a secret just personal.

My husband and I have an amazing sexual relationship but we still make time for ourselves occasionally its natural.

Maybe she is embarrassed about it and thinks she will upset you that she uses them on herself.

I have a box of toys and I didn't feel the need to announce it to my husband. Eventually he asked and I told him.

If your ok with her having them maybe suggest masterbating together? Me and my husband have done so and let me tell you it lead us to a pretty hot session. seeing him touching himself and him seeing me pleasure myself was a real turn on.

If she becomes comfortable with that maybe ask if you can use one on her. It never hurts to spice things up a little and if you try it and don't like it simply don't do it again!

Me and my husband use toys and it just adds to the experience. Some men have a hang up thinking there not doing good in bed, but that's not always the case. I like the double stimulation. It can do wonders.

I wouldnt make a big deal about it she may be a little embarrassed about it. My husband and I have plenty of toys we have several that we use together. If she is like me when i use them alone Im still thinking of my husband theres still nothing better than him. i would say why not u go find a toy to surprise her for ur next session there are some great ones that u can wear that stimulate u and her at the sametime. nothing wrong with just spicing it up a little. Good luck;-)

Ok, I thought I could comment but I am gonna pass, this one is too deep for me.

Even though you tried to be honest with her....it might have been just too much to tell you over coffee. I once found a website that had been bookmarked and thought okay...deep breath...he is still a man and I am still the only one he is physically intimate with. I then joked about it like....oh oh! guess what I found??

Our toys are only for us together, I'm just not the type to whip out a vibrater on a night he's out with the guys but that's just me.

Good luck

Ok ladys I'm in need of some advise. I have been married for almost 5 years now. My wife have a very strong relationship but now I'm confused. A few years back she wanted to know what I thought about "toys" in the bed room. I told her I dont have a problem with it as long as she didn't go all 50 shades on me. So' date=' she kinda shruged it off and we went on our merry way. Well recently while looking for the t.v. Remote I find her toy box in her night stand. I dont have a problem with them it's just why didn't she tell me about them? And everytime I bring up the subject of toys she dismisses it. Am I missing something?[/quote']

Ummmm I hate to be the bearer of bad news but (and this is just my opinion) she asked you about toys because she needs something more/different/ enjoyable than what you're giving her but she didn't want to say hey buddy our sex life sucks and I need some better quality action. But when you say ok as long as you don't go 50 shades on me, you basically shut her down. Did she say she wanted to spank you with a whip or choke you? I don't get why you made the 50 shades reference. But now that you know she's been getting nutts like squirrels all on her own, nowww you want to bring it up but you already shut her down! So naturally she's just going to brush it off now every time you bring it up. The good news is, you can make a comeback lol. See what she has in the goody draw Go to the sex shop pick out a toy you think she would like based on your findings and something you would like too and pull it out one night and make the lady happy. Then take her to the shop with you and you two can pick something out together and baddabingbaddaboom! You're included in the action....

Ok ladys I'm in need of some advise. I have been married for almost 5 years now. My wife have a very strong relationship but now I'm confused. A few years back she wanted to know what I thought about "toys" in the bed room. I told her I dont have a problem with it as long as she didn't go all 50 shades on me. So, she kinda shruged it off and we went on our merry way. Well recently while looking for the t.v. Remote I find her toy box in her night stand. I dont have a problem with them it's just why didn't she tell me about them? And everytime I bring up the subject of toys she dismisses it. Am I missing something?

First, I can understand how you might feel-- not adequate etc. Some of us feel that way, when guys look at porn. In fact, porn is something I will not tolerate. If my man cannot get off to my body, then he is not the one for me.

Next, I would say unless a man has a sexual dysfunction, then he will orgasm everytime he has sex. For ladies, if we don't orgasm as many times as we want before our man finishes~> we are left out in the cold. NOT COOL! How would you feel if you were married, and a lot of the time never got to find that release? Frustration would set in! I would venture to say a man would masturbate, to fix this problem.

I think it is a man's responibility to make sure his woman's needs are taken care of and met, completely. If a lady doesn't finish when her man does, the vibrator should be in hand's reach. She will probably need you to kiss her, and still act like you are having sex with her~> in order to get her to where she can find that release.

By all means, do NOT get up out of the bed and let her fend for herself. We need to feel that close intimate bond with the man we love. If we have to do things all by our lonesome, what is the point in being married?

First' date=' I can understand how you might feel-- not adequate etc. Some of us feel that way, when guys look at porn. In fact, porn is something I will not tolerate. If my man cannot get off to my body, then he is not the one for me.

Next, I would say unless a man has a sexual dysfunction, then he will orgasm everytime he has sex. For ladies, if we don't orgasm as many times as we want before our man finishes~> we are left out in the cold. <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> NOT COOL! How would you feel if you were married, and a lot of the time never got to find that release? Frustration would set in! I would venture to say a man would masturbate, to fix this problem.

I think it is a man's responibility to make sure his woman's needs are taken care of and met, completely. If a lady doesn't finish when her man does, the vibrator should be in hand's reach. She will probably need you to kiss her, and still act like you are having sex with her~> in order to get her to where she can find that release.

By all means, do NOT get up out of the bed and let her fend for herself. We need to feel that close intimate bond with the man we love. If we have to do things all by our lonesome, what is the point in being married? <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> [/quote']

Settingoal. Just an FYI... If a man doesn't finish it doesn't mean he's got a problem. It means he has control....