I am having my band in 4 days time and this evening my husband showed me a movie he 'd taken on his phone of our daughter learning to ride her bike. Behind her this old woman waddling along, it was me I am gutted at how awful I look and how I have allowedyself to become that thing in the picture. I realised before now I would have turned to food to squash my shame and fury ... Right now I am awash with feelings of pure revulsion of what I am and it hurts .... I know this is first of many times I have to deal with my emotions without the support of food .... Defining moment

Ugh I know it's hard. I remember pictures of me being taken (against my will) last Christmas, which was just a couple weeks before my surgery. They were so horrible, I untagged myself from them on Facebook because I was just so ashamed at how horrible I looked. The only time anyone got any pictures of me the last 10 years was under protest or by sneaking, because I hated pictures and the way I looked so grossly huge in them.

The good news is, in the near future, you'll look back at that picture and be like "wow I can't believe that was me!" and it will feel amazing. You will happily take pictures because you'll know you look better than you have in years. Change is coming soon, just try to focus on how much you are about to change for the better

I think we have ALL had these moments! I know I have...but I use it as motivation. Never again will I look like that!!! Use it to keep you moving, inside you KNOW you are not that person...now make the outside match the inside!! You can do it!!

Absolutely! The trick now is to turn it into a positive. Just after I was banded, my son announced his engagement. I look disgustingly huge in his engagement photos but I set a goal to look gorgeous in his wedding photos and I did. My profile photo is of my husband and myself dressed for our son's wedding. I got so many compliments on my dress and how much weight I had lost, it really made me feel fantastic.

So hang in there and make this a motivation for you!

One of the main reasons I decided on Lap Band was because I was dissapearing from history. I would cringe when someone got out the camera. I absolutely HATED the way I looked. I still have that knee-jerk reaction when someone starts snapping photos, and I'm still not madly in love with how I look, but it's not so bad.

Use that video for inspiration. Recognize where you are right now, and know that you're starting your journey so you never have to look back.

Boy, have I been there. Keep in mind that even after 170 pounds lost I am still overweight. Anyway. Had to take a new badge picture today at work and while it was a bad badge photo at least I did'nt feel super fat. Yes, I know I am still fat.

oh i haven't allowed pictures to be taken of me for years. I very much look forward to changing that

I know exactly how you feel! It has gotten so bad for me that I won't even allow people to take my picture. My dreaded moments are when I see someone tagged me in something on Facebook. I immediately go and untag myself. It is no way to live, constantly being ashamed of the way I look! My appearance has taken control of my life in the worst way possible. I find myself declining plans and secluding myself from people because I feel like I'm constantly being judged. I just want to be able to look at a picture of myself and think, wow, I look great and I was happy. Not wow, I look disgusting, fat and unhealthy, and boy was I depressed!

Anyway... you are not alone! I can't wait to be excited to have my picture taken again We will get there!!!

I definitely know how this feels! I hate when someone gets a pic and then tags me on facebook! It will be nice to take pictures that aren't only from the neck up and even those have to be from a certain angle!

So glad to hear I was not alone in this "avoid the photos" phase. I got to thinking that when I die - my grandkids won't remember me - There is no pictures or if there was, I was the one in the back where all you saw was a piece of my face. Well, that was 104 pounds ago. No, I am not ready to pose for a magazine cover but at least I don't run from the camera any longer. I must admit, after years of running, I do find it hard not to continue that practice. Congrats to all of us who no longer hide from that "Kodak Moment".

Melinda in Florida

I see this pic as a good thing. had you known you were in the picture, you would have disappeared, true???? I still hate to look at those pictures but, will repeat itself if we try to forget it.

when things get tough, look at the pic!! we don't want to be there ever again!!!!! Never.

I still have pictures on facebook that I am tagged in and look absolutely disgusting. The thing is, that was me then and I was with the people I loved, so it couldn't all be terrible.

I seem to have had this false sense of size, thinking I looked so much better than I did! I still have 60lbs to go til I'm where I want to be, but I am so much more comftorable in my body now!

NWGirl... I am/was the same way. I guess when I look in the mirror, I don't see a 295 pound person. I remember when I weighed a bit less (talking like 230's) I would tell people I was close to how much I weighed and they'd say, "Wow! You carry your weight well!" so I thought I looked good for my size. I do still think the way I'm built allows me to conceal my weight better then some, but seriously, I don't look good. At all. I look fat. No matter what angle the picture is taken at, I am obese. It is so hard, even now, to admit to myself that I am considered morbidly obese. I think it all comes down to being totally ashamed of the way I look and what I've let happen over the years.

I soooo agree with you guys!

I don't think I realize how fat I really am. There are days when I actually feel pretty and sexy!!! I put something tasteful on, nice hair and make-up, and I feel allright. Then someone takes a picture of me, and I can't believe what I see. I see myself in the mirror totally different from what I see on a picture! It is so sad. Or when I see somebody's picture who has the same parameters then myself (weight, height...), and clearly she is fat, I see her obese, but I feel I am "smaller" then her. When in reality I am the same...

Oh, Facebook, long time ago I have disabled the function of anybody being able to tag me on anything!!! lol And if for some reason they would still successfully tag me, my account is set to "only me" who can view my tags! That's how much I hate to be the size I am!!!!!

I think we have all been through that. The funny thing is I never truly realized how big I was at the time. Only recently after losing significant weight have I noticed the difference, and started liking how I look in some pictures. you will get there. Don't dwell on the past... Remember you are taking control of yourself and will be a healthier, smaller you very soon.

My facebook profile pic (and my profile pic on here as well) are from 3 years ago. It's mortifying to see my recent pictures, and even though I've committed to it, I hate uploading my videos to youtube because all I can see is how awful I think I look. It's so weird - I can look in the mirror and think that I look relatively decent, but as soon as a camera goes on me, I'm horrified with the image that reflects back. I agree with some of the above sentiments - I never really realize how big I have gotten until I see photographic evidence. Sigh...

I can't wait to update my danged facebook though, lol. I'm sure my friends and family are going to be sooo annoyed.