Fell Off The Wagon And More

[Thom1955 1]

OK, need to help and going to open up a bit here -

I stated at 338lb and went down to believe it or not 185 (lost a bit too much being a 6'4" guy)

My surgery was 5 years ago and I was doing fantastic until about 18 months ago - thats when my

band slipped and I had to have surgery to fix the slippage. Regretably, in the time my band slip

until the repair, my stomach was stretched. The surgeon even told me that after the repair, that

my stomach was larger than he'd prefer it to be.

After a couple fills, I was not losing weight. I simply gave up and stopped having fills. Well,

since then, have put on over 70 lbs. I'm devastated. Still 50 lbs less than when I started but,

nonetheless feel defeated.

I want to go back to my doctor and start over, but, have two fears - one, although he is a fantastic

doctor, he has no bedside manner what so ever and I'm not mentally prepared for the scolding!

Secondly, and I take ownership here, I was not able to pay the dr's office my outstanding balance

due to some unexpected financial hardships. Instead of confronting the problem, I ignored it

and my balance went to a bill collector, then court and now wages garnished - (only 1100 dollars),

but, I should have been upfront with my doctor and let him now of my hardship.

OK, now that I have that out of the way, I need to do something to get back to healthy weight.

Is is even possible to get back on the lapband wagon with new fills and find the right restriction,

sweet spot after nearly 18 months. I can't face my doctor (although, I should be a brave man and

talk to the office manager) or do I seek a new doctor to do my fills. I'm thinking a new doctor

will want my medical records, but, my surgeon won't release t hem due to balance due.

Feeling a bit weird writing all this here, but, have to start somewhere.

Thanks. Tom

[Sojourner 2,446]

Suck it up...you realize your mistakes and there is no better time than now to begin the process of correcting them. You have the self empowerment to regain control over the areas of your life that you state are now not in control. Only you have the ability to fix them...

That said, it may be difficult to find another surgeon to take over your medical care and fill schedule. Would it be possible to go back to square 1 and begin again? From what I have read, yes you should be able to do it. Fear about facing your doctor is legitimate, but you will not know if you could return to their practice if you don't inquire. This is definitely one mistake to learn from. Usually, if you show a good faith effort to clear your debt with a payment plan it goes a great distance to helping you get the medical care you need.

To be successful though, you would need to regain control over your will power and determination to be successful. Your writing does sound like you have some depressed feelings...which can only have a negative impact on your thinking and feelings about ever being successful with regaining your focus on weight loss.

You did not mention your current financial situation...if it is possible, I would work towards getting the judgement cleared and starting to eat properly again. This could not be worse than bandster hell...and most of us have survived that.

Drinking free fluids (FF/SF) between meals and distraction of ones thinking by getting involved with projects, exercise, etc are helpful ways to manage your hunger.

Best wishes...believe in yourself to be successful.

[Thom1955 1]

Thanks so much for the straightforwardness Sojourner, sometimes you just need a kick in the butt!!! T om

[Julie norton 2,850]

I also say keep trying. Perhaps a little $ to his office and a mea culpa. Better than regaining all. Your doctors attitude is important. But not more than yours.

Another doc is a possibility. Probably have to pay up front... Worth calling and asking about.

Please don't beat yourself up. We are so good at that with our uncooperating bodies. Aren't we?

It is sometimes hard for us all i bet Learning daily !! to love myself. Most days are great...sometimes that old love/hate thing rears its ugly head and I think this site helps

Keep on your journey