wicked

Hello everyone, I haven't been around for a long while, being a slow loser I began to feel guilty reading the stories of some many people who dropped their weight much faster than me. And now, here I am, 10 months post-op, only 50 lbs lost and wondering to myself, can/should I Celebrate the fact that I'm finally not in the 300s anymore? I started this journey at 345 and this morning I'm 295. The people in my life have barely noticed my 50 lbs weight loss, which is understandable because at this weight you really don't look that different if you lose 50 lbs. I, on the other hand, have noticed because I went down a size and gone from 26 to 24. I guess what I'm struggling with the most is acknowledging and respecting small achievements. Yes, 24 is still a huge size to wear, but it is smaller than 26. 295 lbs is a huge amount of weight, but less than 345. Is this small achievement worth celebrating? I know I can't go to people and share this because to them I'm failing the band. But I'm starting to wonder if "failing the band" is really what I'm doing? I'm torn and there is a little happy child in me that just wants to come out and play because I'm below 300, and a rational self-loathing adult who feels like a failure. Even if just for today, I really do want to see the child in me win.

Hello all, I went for my second fill this past Friday and I'm experiencing a curious (and unwelcome) phenomenon. I have less restriction after the fill. Has this ever happened to anyone? After my very first fill I didn't have a lot of restriction but I had some. When I went on Friday, my doctor complimented me for losing 4lbs in 4 weeks. I told her I was disappointed but she told that that was the right amount and that I was doing good. She asked me if I still wanted a fill and I said yes (though I really wanted to say, "hell yes!" ). I went home, stayed on liquids for one day and mushy the next. But now that I can eat regular food I find that I have less restriction that I had before the fill. The doctor told me that I went from a 4.5 fill (I think) to a 7.5. But I'm starting to wonder if she didn't take something out instead of putting it in by mistake. Any chance?

I was banded less than a month ago, August 3, 2010. I was so happy and hopeful for a better future. Everything went well at first. I lost 18 lbs during my pre-op liquid diet and stuck to the post-op diet for the first 10 days... and then, I lost it. I started eating solid food like pizza and fried chicken, drinking with meals... and basically breaking all the rules. I do understand that I don't have restriction at this point because I haven't had my first fill yet, but if I continue like this I'm afraid I won't even make it to the first fill. I'm terrified my band will slip because I'm eating so much solid food, and eating it so fast that I need big gulps of diet snapple to make the food go down and it still hurts for that moment. But a moment later I'm eating again. I'm so disappointed and so angry with myself. Getting the lap-band® is the best thing that could ever happen to me and I'm jeopardizing it because I can't stay away from food. And I know it's not "normal hunger," I know it's my emotional need to eat so that I won't feel or think about anything and just self-medicate. But at what price? I'm scheduled to leave my job at the end of the month and I won't have health insurance for at least 1 year (I'm going back to school). So if anything happens to my band, I can't even get it fixed unless I pay for it (and I don't have that kind of money). I don't even know what I'm really asking here, because I know the only person who can stop me is me. I know you can't do it for me but I feel so alone with this. I just finished eating a chicken salad club sandwich and I all I want to do is cry and possibly punch myself for being so stupid. I can't tell anyone what I'm doing because I fear they would judge me (and maybe rightly so) and call me irresponsible. My first fill will be September 7. I had a follow up on August 16 and the band was in place, no problems. I want to stop but most of all I want to know that not all is lost. I want to know that there is a chance my band is just fine and that if I start making healthy choices from this moment on, I still have a chance. I might not deserve one because of my actions, but I need to know that I still have a chance.

I was banded August 3 and I'm mostly recovered now (4 days later). The first 20 minutes after surgery were painful, I won't lie. Everyone reacts differently, when I woke up I was in intense pain for about 10 minutes. As the morphine kicked in, I started feeling better. I first rated my pain an 8, then a 6. I stayed overnight and had mild pain in my shoulder. I walked around in the hospital and slowly felt better. My incisions still hurt a little but much much less than the first days. My biggest problem now is that I'm really sick of sleeping on my back. Yesterday I attempted to sleep on my side a little and it is still painful but not too much. I can't wait to be able to sleep on my stomach again. I have no regrets and I'm looking forward to recovering completely and start losing weight! Good luck, everything will be okay. :party:

Hi Molly, I was also banded at NYU. I'm 3 days post-op following a liquid diet but no one has told me to follow a THIN liquid diet. What is the difference? I think I can have anything that can go through a straw. Is this THIN liquid? I was banded by Dr. Kurian and I think she was great, but like you I also figured that her job was to place the band and that the follow ups will be with her team mostly.

I'm August 3 too! Good luck everyone! :wub:

Hello everyone! This is my first post (though I have been reading for quite a while). My surgery date is August 3... just one more day. I'm feeling all kind of emotions, happy, anxious, scared, and happy again. :wub: I have cheated a little on my pre-op diet so I really hope everything goes well with my liver. I fasted today (only Water and tea) and I will do only clear liquid tomorrow. I can't begin to tell you how much this forum has helped me. I can't stop reading even though I should go to sleep now... but I want to keep learning and reading about everyone's experience and success. Like I said, just one more day to go!