LoseIt!

I keep a 32 oz water glass at my desk at work. My goal is to drink 4 a day, but most days I only drink 2. I thought I should try giving up Diet Coke before the surgery, but I haven't been that successful yet. I probably just need to bite the bullet!

I actually had both chicken & avocado on the salad. I honestly think I just eat too much and don't realize when I'm full. When I get distracted, I don't "feel" hungry anymore. When I'm really, truly hungry, nothing can distract me!

Thanks for the fitday link. I'm going to check that out!

Jazzercise is the only exercise I have been able to stick with as an adult for longer than six weeks! :confused: I love it because it is always different and it is both cardio and toning. Plus, my group has killer instructors and I have made some very good friends from my class.

My best friend is training to become an instructor. She is going to start around March 2010, so I'm hoping that I will be going strong so I can help support her. That will be one of my NSVs!!

I haven't even gotten a date and I'm excited. I'm excited that I have finally had the courage to do what I need to do for myself.

I don't think there is anything wrong about that for me or for you!!

As I have mentioned previously, I have my first visit with the surgeon on Tuesday. I'm self pay, so I'm hoping to schedule the procedure as early as possible in 2010.

That said, I have been on a bender lately. I haven't been binging or anything like that, but I have been just eating whatever I want and I haven't been exercising a lot. I was holding steady at my "highest weight ever" through May of this year. Then, I quit smoking. Don't get me wrong...YAY! Completely quit. Done. Finito. However, the 15-20 pounds I have gained since then have just been horrible. I am uncomfortable like I have never been before. I am actually changing what I do because of my weight. Unacceptable!

But...when it comes to food, I think..."I better enjoy this since I'm not going to get it after I'm banded!" Bad! And when it comes to exercise, I've gotten to the point where my feet hurt, my knees hurt and I'm just so freaking out of shape. Pathetic! I have been Jazzercising regularly for 6 years...how is it even possible that I got to this point? By only going 1-2 times per week, apparently. I guess just paying for my classes doesn't actually contribute to keeping you in shape. Oops.

I stepped on the scale today and HOLY MOLY!! I am the biggest I have ever been. It's like everyday is a new record. I had had enough!

I came to work and had my bowl of cereal instead of a bagel. And we went to a salad place for lunch where I had a nice healthy veggie filled salad. Good me!

I had been back to work for 30 minutes after lunch and I was hungry. I tried to decide the ratio of stomach to head hunger. I made a goal to drink 16 oz of water and if I was still hungry in 10 minutes, I would have a 100 calorie pretzel snack. After the water and 10 minutes, I was still slightly hungry, but didn't feel my stomach was going to growl at any second. Yay for me not immediately eating more. It's a start! Although after another 20 minutes my stomach started to growl so I ate the pretzels. I ate each pretzel slowly one at a time and paused after each to assess my hunger. I also tried to take a big drink of water in between each pretzel (which I know you aren't supposed to do when your banded, so maybe that is the wrong strategy.)

I really want to try and learn to disguish the head/stomach hunger. I'm afraid that I will get banded and still be "hungry" all the time.

I know I'm not going to be perfect between now and band day. But maybe I can at least get started.

I KNOW that the band is not magic and it will still be hard after. But I just keep thinking that it will be a wonderful tool to help me make it less hard than it is now.

Keep on keeping on.

Thank you all for your words of encouragement! This site is really keeping me motivated!

Although I haven't been banded, I attended my first support group meeting yesterday. The people there were amazing and gave me so much confidence that I'm making the right choice. I decided that it is full speed ahead!

My first doctor's visit is next Tuesday and honestly, I can't wait! I know that there are going to be frustrations and struggles. And I certainly know that not everyday is going to be rainbows and daisies. However, I will be DOING something. I am ready.

Since I'm self-pay, I wonder how soon I will be able to do it. I will certainly do anything that my doctor requires or suggests, but I suspect I won't have to go through months of anything like some insurances require.

I'm looking forward to meeting with the nutritionist. On every diet I've had, my goal was to figure out how I could eat as much as possible with the diet's calorie/fat/point/etc. limitation because I was always SO hungry. It is almost unreal to think that I would be able to eat a child's portion lunch and be satisfied. I have to reprogram my entire mindset!!

I've started the small bite and chewing process now. It is quite a bit harder than I thought, but I think it will help me to practice.

I'm crossing my fingers that I found out WHEN on Tuesday!!

Your story is interesting. I have never been thin, but for much of my life I was somewhat overweight, carried it well and was healthy. I got a lot of those awful comments too and my insecurities developed over time. It was almost a self-fufilling prophecy.

I always saw the thin person even though I was overweight. Now though, I've gotten so big, it is impossible to see her anymore.

That is why I'm choosing the band. I really want to see her again!

I wore a skirt yesterday and Lord Almighty, my inner thighs are paying for it! If I am blessed to lose a lot of weight in this process that is one thing I'm definitely NOT going to miss!!

Thanks! I will talk to my doc about all of these things. I'm just so curious what goes through everyone's mind during this process.

It has been interesting to me to realize that I'm not scared of the food regimen. I know it will be no picnic and there will be times that I will be so frustrated I won't see straight, but I also know that is what I need.

What is making me nervous is more medical. I have narrowed it down to three main issues.

1. I'm concerned that I will always be thinking of this foreign thing inside me. I was at Jazzercise the other day doing crunches and I wondered if I would be able to do the same thing with the port. I know people have run marathons and such after being banded so I feel sure there isn't any exercise restriction once healed, but it is something I need to know. I have to be sure that I can be okay with living with this. I have a small fear that I will end up doing NOTHING because I will be so nervous about messing up my band.

2. Lap band seems relatively new and I'm concerned that we don't fully know the long term effects. What happens 20 years from now?

3. What if I mess up and have to go to the hospital? I think I'm quite responsible, but it seems that you can't always control everything. I'm concerned that something will get stuck and I will have to go to the hospital where they know very little. I'm concerned that I will do something stupid (like eat the wrong thing or too much) and it will kill me.

I have my initial meeting with doctor in a couple of weeks and will ask him about these things. But I was interested to see what you all have to say?

I know that without a doubt, doing nothing will lead me to bad health and sadness. I start feeling guilty because I "should" just diet already and lose the weight I need to lose. But I've tried numerous times with varied success and I know that in the long run I can't do it on my own.

Everyday I feel more and more confident that LB is the right choice for me. I just have to get myself right with my concerns.

I wasn't aware about the fat around the liver until I started reading at this site. I have my initial meeting with my doctor in a couple weeks. I currently weigh 270 so I'm interested to see what he will say about a pre-op diet.

I'm glad that it worked out for you! Good luck!!

That? Is hilarious.

Good luck fighting the candy!

Cherylita, I love your attitude! I am one of those that must eat everything on my plate and I know I will have to change once I get the band. People like you that are fighting against your urges and making true changes (like serving yourself smaller portions) is such an inspiration to me.

Keep up the good work!!

After reading many stories on this site, I thought all weekend about what exactly caused me to choose this path now.

At the beginning of this year, my doctor put me on Topomax as a weight-loss drug. That isn't its standard intention, but there has been some good results with it. Unfortunately, I had a bad reaction to the drug and that combined with stress made my anxiety shoot through the roof. February-April is kind of a haze for me. By June, although I had gained 15 pounds, the doctors had determined that I was quite healty (for an obese person) and that made my anxiety go away.

Now what? I went on a trip with my friend and the airplane ride was so uncomfortable. During the trip she also mentioned that my CPAP mask was making noise through the night. I think I had gained enough weight that my CPAP was no longer effective. It did explain why I was so tired all the time. That was when I started thinking about LB. Although I still felt that I wasn't "that fat".

My friends and I have a monthly dinner group that has been meeting regularly since 2004. Each month we take a picture of the group at whichever restaurant we choose. At this particular dinner, I knew with the way we were seated, it wouldn't be very flattering of me. When I looked at the picture I could hardly control the sob. I excused myself and went to the restroom before I made a scene. Once composed, I came back out and my wonderful friends had figured it out and suggested a new picture without making me feel horrible. I love my friends. But I knew now that I was indeed "that fat".

My friend & I scored free tickets to the Mavericks game. They were excellent tickets and I was on the end of the row. However, the end wasn't open, it was at a fence-like wall. I was so cramped and uncomfortable. I didn't want to be there and I knew that I would probably not do it again. There it was. I was making decisions about what to do because of my weight.

I never wanted to be the person that sits at home because I'm more comfortable there than getting out into the world. But that is exactly what I am becoming.

I struggle EVERYday with my weight. My feet hurt, I don't sleep well, and my blood pressure & cholesterol are rising. I MUST lose weight. If I am going to struggle this way, I should do it in a way that is going to get some results. That is why for me.

Thank you ldswims!

imaluckydog, I LOVE your story! I long for the day that I can just walk into a store and buy something that fits!

October 30, 2009: I have been researching LB for a few months now. I have had the initial consultation and learned that my insurance will not cover. I am still moving forward and have my initial meeting with my doctor on 11/17. Since I am paying for the procedure myself, I will need to wait until 2010 to take advantage of my company's flex med program. That will at least help with some of the cost.

I am keeping my mind open in case something comes along that makes me realize that this is not for me. However, I believe that I have done enough research to know most of the costs and benefits.

I am 35 and single so the decision is my own. My parents know I'm thinking of it and support me completely. My friends, although skeptical, realize they have no idea what I'm going through and will stand by my decision.

I have noticed that people who are active in a lap band community seem to be successful overall, so I have determined that I should try.

I'm not a writer by nature, but I think logging my experience (if only for myself) can only help. I have a long way to go, so the next few months will only be prep.

My motto for now: Prayers and preparation!