BJean

Amen, brother!

IMFine: It seems like you hear people on TV and the radio talking about porn all the time these days. Everyone seems to be discussing it. It used to be so in the closet. There weren't tons of stores that sell it and of course it wasn't on the internet. There weren't channels on TV that offered it either. Now it just seems to be everywhere and although people are often laughing about it, it seems to have become much more acceptable across the board in our society. That's a tough thing to combat. I have absolutely no hesitation in saying that I believe it is harming your chances for sex and intimacy with your husband. If for no other reason than he spends so much time sequestered away from you involved with the computer. Plus, self-gratification is, for some men, so much easier than doing all the work it takes to have a real sexual encounter with their partner, and it's just as pleasurable. That isn't true for women. We need the intimacy. Guys just need the physical release. I don't have any ideas of how you change something that I am sure he feels is harmless and not threatening to his marriage. I guess the only way you're going to be able to get through to him is when he is completely away from the computer environment and focused on communicating with you. If he doesn't listen and make some changes, then you have to decide if it is important enough for you to become proactive by seeing a therapist and getting some help for yourself!

Yes, my doctor gave me the card. It doesn't request that the server allow me to order from the child's or senior's menu. It just says that because of a medical condition I am unable to eat very much and that it would be appreciated if I were able to scale down the portion that I am served from a normal portion. Not in those words, but that's basically the content. I've never used it primarily because I am afraid I might encounter some jackass like the one Dynamomini met at Pappeadeaux's. (Btw, I wouldn't have thought that was funny at all!!) lessofme: I have had a mammo followed by an ultrasound, and also got the results while I was watching lying there during the ultrasound. It was nerve wracking, but I felt very confident by the time I left, that I was getting an accurate diagnosis. I will be thinking of you and hoping that it will go smoothly and you get the assessment right away. I think waiting for answers is the worst. indiogirl: I don't blame you for not telling everybody. It's just easier for me when I don't have to try to reassure everyone that I'm just fine. I think being strong is important and for some reason when I tell my friends and family, I turn into silly putty and worry more. Please give us a posting because we will be thinking of you tomorrow!

Jim, Tammy Faye and their kids lived in a house just around the corner from us in Orlando before he went to prison and before the divorce. They were living rent free because one of their followers made it available to them. Their son went to school with my daughter. Sometimes the traffic around their house (on a cul-de-sac) was a circus. Tammy Faye was a performer who loved to sing and since she didn't have a great voice, she was well-suited to singing to little kids and that's how her show first started out (as far as I know). My son used to watch them on local TV in Virginia. Jim was exploiting her and the show even then. She loved being exploited though as long as she could be in front of the camera. After Jim was sent to prison, Tammy Faye and her followers used a new warehouse in Orlando to try to re-start her ministry. It didn't last long and was fodder for all the local radio talk show shenanigans and even some out of state. I knew a young talk show hostess in Atlanta and one morning she had the main, male host on her show, call me for an interview "of one of the neighbors of Jim and Tammy Faye". His questions and insinuations were downright hateful. I simply stuttered inaudible answers to his questions and ruined his kick-the-evangilists-while-they're-down theme du jour. Tammy Faye didn't do much for Maybelline cosmetics. Hers were tattooed on. When they were doing her documentary, the shocked makeup people weren't sure what to do with it and she just lightheartedly laughed it off. She and her women friends used to go to Mexico to buy their diet pills and whatever else they were hooked on. She probably knew all along what was going on with the money-making. How could she not, as someone else said. She was living an opulent lifestyle, way beyond how most televangelists were living at the time, even Oral Roberts. Jerry Falwell was pretty cruel and ruthless in his takeover of PTL, but in so many ways they deserved it. But if it weren't for him, they might have been able to come up with an acceptable plan to pay their way out of it. Many televangelists were very jealous of the Bakkers. I think they probably started out with a little goodness in their hearts (although I am not positive of that) but once the smell of money became so real and so strong, like most people, it consumed them. There are quite of few of them on TV today. It's people like them that give Christianity a bad wrap. The worst part is that so many people didn't see through them for what they really were. Rest in peace, Tammy Faye.

You make a good point, Mark. But not all churches believe that they are the only ones going to heaven, just certain well-endoctrinated sects. Some may take issue with me for using the term "sect" however in the really big picture, even many very large, well established Christian religious groups could be viewed as break away Churches. Christianity and church groups have evolved.

lessofme: You don't have to answer, but I'm wondering, how does the lump feel? It is hard like a rock? Is there any discoloration around the area? Is your nipple inverted? Is it real stationary?

Denise: The reason I asked is because my doc gave me one too, but I haven't had the nerve to pull it out. I can't tell you how many meals that I've left sitting with only a bite or two gone. At first I took them home in a styrofoam container, but I never seemed to be able to eat them at home either. I've read lots of people say that they've turned their leftovers into another meal or two. But for me, it would make more sense to order about half of the normal meal. Portions are embarrassingly gigantic these days!

lessofme: I am due for one next week. I get one per year (unless I find something and then I get an additional sonagram) because my DM and DS both had breast cancer. I haven't talked to anyone who has had a mammo since LB surgery, but I'm pretty sure there are some women here who have gone through it.

Denise: Do you mind me asking where you've used it - successfully?

Hope2BeHottie: Great points. It's cool that you've jumped in full force! I think the thread was started by someone who is very concerned with environmental issues today, and is asking for people to act responsibly when it comes to our planet. I don't think anyone here seriously believes that we should have a police force to round up offenders and castrate or sterilize them. Unless of course, you're talking about women who consider abortion and then I think there's a posse quite willing to take those women to task.

Bitter: That would be a real humanitarian thing to do: cooking for the elderly. It is almost as unique as cooking for babies. When I read one of your posts, I always start thinking about Northeastern and Tahlequah. I remember when I was a Freshman and bought room and board together (cafeteria and dormitory). On Wednesdays, we all went someplace else for dinner. They always served the same thing: a slice of some kind of pork, like a pork chop, that was steamed or something. We never knew just exactly what the hell they did to it to make it grey and smelling like puke. But we wanted no part of it. My in-laws just spent a month in an assisted living facility - one of the nicest ones in the area and they "had" to move home. They said the only acceptible meal was Breakfast and that was because they cooked eggs to order instead of serving up those powdered scrambled faux eggs they serve in the hospital. They hired a woman from a service to comw in every morning to fix breakfast and lunch for them as well as doing some light cleaning. After the first day, she didn't come back. Dealing with older people is definitely a challenge! But then, I don't have to tell you that!

My doc is writing a book about the LB and I suggested that as a sales tool, he could include some kind of band to signify that you're a bandster and that way, perhaps it would become acceptable for us to order off the kids menu or half of the regular entrees or something. He said that there is already a band out for people with the Lap Band.

late: I'm not one of those who lumps all Christians in one bunch. There are as many different Christians as there are people. However I was just making an observation about how the yays and nays are sorting out here. I don't think for one minute that the people here who are for women's right to choose will sway any of those here who are not. My only hope in posting here is to try to speak up on behalf of women who believe it is within their rights as American citizens to have the freedom to decide for themselves whether they will have an abortion or not. It has been shown time and again that getting into a slug fest over who is a good person or a bad person, over who believes what, or when life begins, is a huge waste of time. I believe that the question boils down to whether or not we believe that American women have the right to control what happens to their bodies, medically speaking, in every single way. Nobody should have the right to tell another person that they should or should not have a particular medical procedure performed on them, no matter what the circumstances are. That is not to say that I believe that abortion is good or bad. Abortion is not a judgement that I can make for any other person, only for myself. And I believe that no other person should be able to make that decision for me, no matter what they believe.

LadyHR: I definitely have had problems getting all the water in. At first it was very difficult to not drink during a meal. I would feel totally parched after meals. Before the band, I drank water all the time and pretty much kept a bottle with me. I always drank a lot of water or iced tea with my meals. So when I had to be more careful when I drank water, I had a hard time remembering an hour or so after meals that I needed to start downing it. Now I am used to it and although I do still have to work at getting enough water in, I am doing much better and don't mind not drinking during and right after meals. I was banded September '06.

It seems that the people here who believe that women should not have the right to choose, use their beliefs in God and the Bible to validate their views. Just a guess, but I think Green was addressing that part of this discussion, not directing her comments to one particular individual.

I agree! As we all know, courts awarded alimony for many years when the husband in the divorce "strayed", and it was used as punishment for him making a mockery of his wedding vows and also because he had broken one of the Ten Commandments. When I was contemplating divorce in Arizona, I discovered that it was a no-fault divorce state which meant that we split everything 50-50 that was accumulated during the marriage. Rarely was alimony part of the deal unless as someone posted earlier, one of the spouses sacrificed her/his career for the other. The court did not want to hear any arguments about who did this or that during the marriage. If one person in a marriage wanted a divorce, it could be obtained. If the couple could not agree on the division of property, everything had to be sold and the proceeds divided equally. Quite an incentive for couples to work things out without doing it in a court room.

Bubble that is definitely interesting. If you find out why they don't cut the connective tissue completely when there's a hernia repair, I'd sure be interested in learning why too. I wonder if it is so that the hernia repair will stay in place better? It also makes me wonder if there's a correlation between bandsters with hernia repairs and those without, as it relates to weight loss? Thanks for any info you can share.

Oh good grief, Kat. That's a hellacious story! That was the divorce from beyond hell. My sister got awarded alimony when she and her husband divorced. He was cheating and was caught. He just wanted out and didn't contest the alimony (their kids were grown). After they'd been divorced for a year or so, he went to court and asked to have it reduced. The court sent them to arbitration. He got the alimony reduced because she had a good job and he had moved out of state and had a lower paying job than when they were married. My sister, actually the bitch in the story, was so spiteful that she quit her good paying job and took a lower paying job so that he would not be able to get the alimony reduced again. She got half of his retirement and insurance and everything else. To be fair, she worked their whole married life so she actually probably deserved half of everything they had accumulated, but I'm not so sure about the alimony. They were married 34 years. He definitely done her wrong, but she was a bitchy woman so who's right?

Bitter: Your posts are always entertaining. Car salesmen are something special, aren't they? My FIL has a used car lot. If the truth be known, he's your stereotypical used car salesman. Except when someone comes to his place to look at a car, he outright asks them if they have any money! They usually wind up buying although I know if I were a customer of his, I'd high tail it out of there as fas as I could. More than once we have looked at new cars with the intention of buying, only to leave the dealership in total disgust. We could never get a straight answer about how much the car costs. They dance around and waste your time and want to know how you're going to finance it, etc. Anway, I hope you enjoy your new car and all the gadgets don't drive you batty!

Oh, thanks. I thought the terms were interchangeable. Yeah, my doc fixed mine when he placed the band.

Bubble: What's the difference between a wide hiatus or a hiatal hernia? My doc said that if mine was too big he wouldn't be able to do the LB surgery. Another woman was in one day too that I met who had a really big one. She was having to get it treated which was likely to take 6 months or so. But after it had calmed down, she was going to be able to get the band.

Yup, well said, Green!

P.S. None of my doctors ever mentioned it, nor have I read any literature on it, but I swear that the other problem that you were having (when I diagnosed you as having picked up a bug on your last trip to Mexico), was also a symptom that I had to deal with when I had the hiatus hernia. I never knew when it was going to hit me and for years, it was a real problem. I did find that taking refrigerated acidopholis that I bought at a health foods store helped tremendously in getting that under control. Sorry I missed the proper diagnosis on that one. I remembered the bug I picked up in Mexico and how bad that was long before I had the hernia, and never dreamed that your problem could be as a result of a hiatus hernia! Two very different problems, but both with the "dumping" symptom. If you'll pardon the term. (A real term in medical books, by the way.) Here's some :girl_hug::girl_hug: and :kiss2::kiss2::kiss2::kiss2: coming your way. Hope you feel much better soon!

Whoa there Green. Calm down. I know that you're very worried and right now you're very uncomfortable and anything you eat causes you grief. But trust me, it can get better and if you play your cards right, it will! The very first thing you should to TONIGHT is to elevate the head of your bed. You will probably be told to take some kind of medication that will calm down the cough and reflux (making your throat burn) and the pain in your chest. That will take some time to get resolved because yours is in such an inflamed and angry state. I have had a hiatal hernia for 20 years. At least I did until I had the LB surgery. When my doc did the surgery, he repaired my hiatus hernia. Many of the people who post at LBT, have one too or did until they had theirs repaired. It is usually diagnosed with an upper G.I. series of x-rays. I didn't consider the surgery sooner because the surgery for many years was not all that successful and many times made the situation worse. That was before doctors became so proficient at laparoscopic surgery. My LB doctor was chosen by me because for years he has been a leader in the laparoscopic surgery for correction of a hiatal hernia. He has taught many other doctors how to do the procedure and has done thousands himself over the years. He decided to start doing the LB surgery because with his exposure to so many overweight people who he treated for their hiatal hernias; he knew how difficult it was for them to lose weight and keep it off. He felt that the Lap Band was the first thing with a relatively low risk and high success rating, and since he'd been working in the "neighborhood" for so many years, with a laparoscope, it was a natural transition. You have to understand though that I lived for over 20 years with my hiatus hernia. Gaviscon was the drug of choice back then, but I just couldn't gag the stuff down. Nowadays, they have Prilosec and Prevacid which are much more effective. The one that worked the best for me was Prevacid. When I took it and elevated the head of our bed, it was almost like I didn't have a hiatal hernia anymore. Sweet relief!!! So don't worry too much. It is definitely treatable. Personally, I wouldn't recommend a repair since you already have the LB, but of course I'm not a doctor, much less YOUR doctor. If you can get a medication to work for you, long enough for it to calm the area down, and you stay really aware of what you eat and drink, and smoke... you can whip this into submission. Now for the not fun part. You really do have to quit drinking coffee or tea for a while. You have to quit drinking Scotch (or other alcohol) for a while. You really do have to not eat chocolate. And smoking really aggravates it. You need to stop that too. You just have to baby it until you get the thing under control. Spicy foods are out. You can forget chicken fried steak or barbeque, at least for the time being. Yeah I know, for a while it's going to be a huge, seemingly impossible way to live. But when you have as many problems as you're having, you just have to give it a chance to heal as much as possible and then baby it for a longer period of time. The Prevacid takes about 3 weeks to really kick in, but you'll find yourself not coughing and uncomfortable after a meal. Any other wisdom out there for Green on this topic? Who loves ya, baby?

People have been talking about population control since I was in college. It was all the rage back then to declare that you were only going to have a maximum of 2 children, no matter what the Catholic Church said. Then there was the phase where people declared that since Americans were soon going to be outnumbered by the mass of humanity in the overly populated parts of the world, we should keep our numbers up so that we could compete if (or when) it became necessary. Now it's global warming and the suggestion that we should be cognizant of our footprints because the earth is dying. Who knows what it's going to take for people to believe they should worry about the future of the planet. Right now, many Republicans pooh-pooh Al Gore's movie and declarations about global warming. I have friends who actually say that they believe that global warming is a myth and that we're only going through the normal cyclical weather phases. I've never understood why they think that the term "global warming" was something Al Gore invented just to get attention. :phanvan