Cynthia5

...hummm havent been here for a little bit...been dealing with cancer and just 2 mths ago was had 1/3 of my pancreas removed for pre-cancer...so its been a whirlwind. I also had to have my fill removed for a colonoscopy when the gastro doc decided that he wanted to do an endoscope...found I have pre-cancer of the esophogus too...sigh. I have lost a total of 130pd..but gained about 15 back...going tuesday to get a fill. The most I have ever had in my band is 4.5cc's and we had to back it up the.5cc's so I've never had comfortably more than 4cc's in my band, my doc says that is nearly unheard of...so I have no idea...right now I only have 1.5cc's and will probably get 1cc added...need that extra bit the jeans are feelin a little snug and I dont like that...funny how the added weight feels heavier than any of the weight I have lost! Im looking to really only lose about 10 of the 15pds, but I am doing Wii boxing and bowling...LOVE THAT! Hope all are well.

...what website?

just posted above...thanks for checkin in on me!!! (((hugs)))

I am! Thank you for checking in on me!! This week hasnt been as good as last week, but I am not going to beat myself up for it. Every day is a new day. I went yesterday for another fill, now I am up to 4cc's and that seems to be my magic number, I can feel the restriction when I eat and I have been missing that for the last 3mths since the band slip. Again, thanks for checkin in on me! I appreciate it!! (((hugs)))

I really want to start the exercise thing again, been really tired this week. I work late shift, work form home which is nice, and I plan on doing my Turbo Jam during my lunch hour. I want this extra weight to get off me..PLUS my nephews wedding is in Sept and I bought this AMAZING red dress to wear! Very 40's with a scoop sweetheart neckline and a peek-a-boo panel of white with red polkadots...my man, bought me the re peek-a-boo toe heels to go with it - YUM! I just fit into the dress and a few pds less on me would make it just that much better fitting...I really want some accountability, so maybe some of you could check in on me see if and how I am doing? I would appreciate it. *smiles*

Thanks 1day at a time! I know what you mean about going a bit crazy when the doc took the Fluid out - it felt soo good to just eat when I hadnt been able to eat for a month...but that only lasted about a week, when I realized the weight was coming on too quickly! *winks* Now I am fighting the tide! *smiles* It is kinda scary to think that we really survive on 900-1200 calories when the fill is really just right...not scary when the band is in place but scary to think that GOD FORBID, it would ever have to come out! I was so scared when they found the band slipped and took the fluid out that I would need surgery to correct it or worse...and ppl outside of the realm we live in now dont understand that making this choice does not make things easier for us at all. I dont know about any of you but I have heard many things including the line that I have taken the easy way out.

Kimaly, thanks for the encouragement, I needed it. It has been a very rough 2 yrs, 4 if I include the dbl mastectomy. 2yrs ago my Daddy passed, I am a Daddys girl, always will be...and within 6mths of that, got divorced. I dont regret the divorce, long story but it was a very difficult marriage with no support during those 2 very huge events in my life, let alone the WLS. But there have been blessings along the way...I am a survivor, I have lost 100pds, I have had an add'l 3 grand babies, making my love total 5...5 is the number of grace...the 5th was just born on July 1st, the 2nd anniversary of my Daddys passing. She has made a very difficult day one of grace and a day to rejoice. I have a wonderful man in my life that I am doing life with and when I told him on our first date about having had a dbl mastectomy, cuz when do you tell someone about that? He got up, hugged me, told me I was brave and then pulled back and asked, did you think that would bother me? I said I didnt know, my ex never once saw me and for some men it could be a deal breaker...his response was that if that was the case for him,he didnt deserve me...I think that was the moment I fell in love with him! We will be together 1 yr Aug 18th. ...so I do need to keep fighting the good fight and not let these 22pds have any power over me...just get rid of them! *smiles* Charlene, thanks for the encouragement and for explaining the sleeve. It sounds like the byass, is it similar?

We DO rock! Even though I had issues with my lapband slipping and have gained 22pds as a result of removing the fluid, I feel like I am basically starting over again. Right now, I feel like my body went into starvation mode cuz I was hardly eating anything and losing so fast, that when the doc took the fluid out and I was able to eat, my body is now holding onto whatever I do eat, even though I am eating healthy and counting calories...which was the most frustrating thing for me before...my body nearly demanded that I eat so little to lose weight that it wasnt healthy. Now that my tummy is healed up and the band is in place, I am praying that I can get this weight off in a healthy way. I have found that this 22pds has weighed on me more than the 100pds I have lost...I feel it more and I dont like it. I saw a picture of myself recently and was SHOCKED to see that I was not as heavy as I FEEL. I am in a size 12/13 or L depending on the clothes and that is not fat, but mentally/emotionally I fight grabbing those sizes cuz it has been sooooo long since I have worn them that my brain gravitates to a size more *reasonable* like a 14 or a xxl...like I cant possibly be smaller than a 14 or a xxl. Then I keep saying to myself it is ONLY 22pds get over it, your tummy was sick, just deal with it and if this is the only weight you have to deal with for the rest of your life, that is a GOOD thing! Anyone else have these things come up? It really is the first time I have run into them within myself. I dont care about how my body looks after losing the weight, I know how to dress this body. *smiles* I have stretch marks from having babies, I have scars from 5 abdominal surgeries, 9 lumpectomies and a dbl masectomy and reconstruction...these are my battle scars, my badges of courage if you will...but man this added weight is messing with me and I am fighting hard to not let it sabotage me. I am sooo grateful that I have this tool and am looking forward to getting another fill in a few weeks, it might be the extra bit I need right now. Thanks for listening...

Interesting discussion. When I talked to the psych doc before being banded, it was one of the things he talked about. I didnt have a good marriage but wasnt looking to leave, but within a year of being banded, my father passed and then within 6mths of that we separated and divorced. It has been a very difficult 2 yrs. My 3 yr Bandaversary is this Saturday. I think that if you have a weak marriage, it can break it. For me there has been sooo much in my life. I had a dbl mastectomy 4 yrs ago, and he was not there for me. I had 12 breast tumors, 9 lumpectomies and my risk for breast cancer was huge, my doctor advised that I have the mastectomy, I went to grief counseling and made the decision. I do not regret that decision at all. This was a huge precursor to knowing he wouldnt be there for me when my Daddy passed or for me when I had WLS. When things are weak, it doesnt take much to break it.

What is the sleeve?

Well, Saturday is my 3 yr bandaversary! I went to the doc and I have gained 22pds, grrrrr. I now have 3cc's going on the 21st to get another fill, feel like I can still eat too much, but trying not to, just cuz I seem to be able to...kwim? This July 1st was the 2nd anniversary of my Daddys passing, but it also brought a wonderful bundle of JOY! My daughter had her 4th baby, my 5th grand baby, a girl, named Savaeh (sa-va-a) Rose! 5 is the number of grace and boy did she grace the day! I am so ready to get this body back under control, I have been feeling like before I had the band put in...but I am not discouraged...keep reminding myself if this is all I have to deal with the rest of my life, weight wise, then I am way ahead of the game! Happy Bandaversary to all July Butterflies!

Hey Everyone... I am going in on the 2nd to get a fill - finding out that I can eat a wee bit more than I should with on the 2cc's. I have gained about 15pds...have enjoyed it, in light of the fact that my band was probably not well for a long time, just didnt know it. But I have started journaling my food again on fitday.com and exercising to Turbo Jam...actually ordered the Turbo Fire, should be getting that today. It is strange how after have all that weight on me for so many years and then losing it how I can FEEL that extra weight of 15 pds on me now! Do. not. like. it. But honestly I will not mind dealing with the same 10-15 pds for the rest of my life to NOT have to deal with the over 100 I just lost! Just a bit of perspective for myself, when I get frustrated. *smiles* Hope all had a great Memorial weekend...Freedom aint free...thanks to all who have served!