SleeverSk

I've been video-conferencing weekly with a highly recommended counselor who specializes in eating disorders @$115/hour. However, while she is both a dietitian and a counselor she usually works with bulimics, anorexics, or bingers. I don't have those problems. The first few sessions were frustrating because she kept up her usual spiel directed to those forms of disordered eating. I gave her a list of reference books before our first session, but it was obvious she had not read any of them. I had to educate her on food addiction, bariatric surgery, and my experience with my own wonky metabolism.
I sought a counselor because I've gone off the rails a few times while pre-op when confronted with some really delectable food in front of me that I could not resist--namely coffee cake, strudel, pizza, Irish soda bread. As soon as I ate them my sugar/flour addiction was triggered and it took weeks to get over withdrawal again and to get back on track with my pre-op food plan. I don't want to do that after surgery so I was looking for tips and tricks for avoidance of temptation.
Well, I'm not getting that type of advice. However, I am getting nutritional/dietetic information that I have not gotten from my clinic's nutritionists. I'll keep talking to her for the next two weeks because my RNY-RNY revision is just 17 days away. I'll wait and see post-surgery. The honeymoon period won't be difficult to me. The problem will arise once I'm eating "real food" again.
Good luck finding a compatible counselor at a reasonable session cost.

I was the same, it has alot to do with your hormones, relax, try some meditation, try to distract yourself it does get better

You should be on more than 800 cals a day by now, maybe you arent eating enough or the wrong foods, i stalled for a good 8 weeks. I started eating a bit more and the scales started moving. Could also be your body rebuilding any muscle you might have lost in the early days after surgery. Eating to little will cause your body to hang on to every bit it can

Hi, How far post op are you? your hormones will be going crazy if you are in very early stages. Its not something they seem to tell us but it certainly happened to me and many others. take a deep breath you will be fine. I developed anxiety in the early stages post op. take notice of when it happens mine started after i had eaten and then in turn that cause pre meal anxiety too turns out i was having a type of dumping minus the pain and need to rush to toilet. so I had rapid heart beat, shaking, tingling dizziness and just a feeling of dread. as my surgeon said once I started on solids it got better but boy oh boy it was not pleasant. I also didnt want to be alone and had lots and lots of tears and deep feelings of WTF have i done to myself. hang in there do what you need to do to feel safe. ((hugs)) it does get better

Pay attention to the measurements not the scale. Also switch up on what you eat to trick your body out of the stall but with healthy stuff

i live in a country where the word chronic fatigue system doesn't even exist. and i cant stop crying cause in the afternoons i feel half dead. i cant do anything. and everyone thinks i am super healthy, and i KNOW its not depression. the crying and sadness is a result of this, and i keep telling myself its a phase, it will pass, but its not going away, on the contrary, i feel like i am sinking deeper and deeper. and i know i need to stop with the sedatives like xanax or lexilium that i am taking. but i cant consolidate myself without them.

Are you getting enough B12? I had a scary B12 deficit that left me with many of the symptoms you describe, plus some others. Not getting enough B12 causes all kinds of neurological problems, including mood swings, personality changes, fatigue, brain fog, tingling and/or pain in arms and legs. I even lost my voice as my vocal chords became paralyzed. The bad part is that even after your B12 levels are back to normal, the symptoms don't resolve immediately. I still have the tingling, pins and needles feeling months later, despite supplementing my B12 back to normal levels.

I still get niggling pains now and yes I still have a moment of panic about it, but never feel embarrassed about getting checked out. its better to get it checked and you be fine rather than not get checked and it be something. take notice when it happens too. I find when i am active i get random pain and i guess its because i did nothing but be curled up in a ball on my sisters couch for 8 weeks after surgery ( yes I was that bad ) that in healing i now may have scar tissue that now gets aggravated when i do any activity

Agree with the others: 1) its normal 2) likely hormone driven, and 3) completely OK to ask for help when you need it. This is a major surgery that demands sudden, massive life changes, and it takes a toll on your body and mind. Its ok to feel the feelings and go through the process of grief/processing that comes after it. But do remember that all of *this* is temporary. Your body will heal, you won't be in pain forever, you will figure out how to eat and move and live with your new tiny tummy, and you will lose weight and get healthier along the way. That is the ultimate goal, this bit is just a phase.
Take time to rest, ask as many questions as you need to, seek help from your providers, and give yourself lots of grace.

Thank you all for the encouragement. It helps TREMENDOUSLY to know Im not alone and that others have come out the other side just fine. Im 4 days post op and anxiety was well controlled until today. I suspect due to the doctor appt and perhaps too rich of a chicken broth. Now im afraid of looking crazy at the doc if theres no infection. YIKES.
And Im definitely struggling with what have I done to myself. Even though I picture being very successful and very healthy in the future.

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Over time you’ll get to recognise your signals & what you can & can’t eat easily. Some say they sneeze or get a runny nose when they’ve eaten enough. I don’t. If I eat too quickly or eat when stressed my restriction kicks in. If I eat food that’s too dry I’ll get the foamies or if really dry or coarse I’ll bring it up (not vomit but regurgitate). Dairy makes me gurgle more.
I’ve discovered my ‘I’m full’ message sometimes seems to take a lot longer to come through. This morning I ate my milky rolled oats over about 35 mins then some 30 mins later I started to feel full, then fuller & fuller. Groan! Felt like I’d bring it up but didn’t (I was driving so probably a good thing). To counter my sometimes slow full message I eat slowly: 30-60 minutes depending upon what I’m eating - it works most times. I ask myself do I need this next bite or do I just want it - this was a big thing for me. I also try not to eat until I’m full but until I’ve had enough - another big learning.
Never be afraid to put your cutlery down & sit back from the table. Use the pause to examine how you’re feeling & what you really need versus just want.
Good luck.

Hi, How far post op are you? your hormones will be going crazy if you are in very early stages. Its not something they seem to tell us but it certainly happened to me and many others. take a deep breath you will be fine. I developed anxiety in the early stages post op. take notice of when it happens mine started after i had eaten and then in turn that cause pre meal anxiety too turns out i was having a type of dumping minus the pain and need to rush to toilet. so I had rapid heart beat, shaking, tingling dizziness and just a feeling of dread. as my surgeon said once I started on solids it got better but boy oh boy it was not pleasant. I also didnt want to be alone and had lots and lots of tears and deep feelings of WTF have i done to myself. hang in there do what you need to do to feel safe. ((hugs)) it does get better

I'm not sure what that person meant by "listening to your sleeve" but this is how I would interpret it. The restriction in your tummy will tell you when to stop eating. The feeling of being "full" can be very different post-op, so you have to learn the signals that indicate you are approaching being full. One time, shortly after surgery, I overate because I didn't recognize that I was full. It was a miserable experience, I was in severe distress until finally I threw up. After that, I learned how to identify when I've had enough to eat (and honestly, I rarely eat enough now to test my restriction).
Also, your sleeve can educate you in terms of WHAT you are eating. My new tummy does not do well with red meat. Regardless of how prepared, red meat is uncomfortable for my body to digest. I could keep trying to force it but I've chosen to "listen to my sleeve" and just leave red meat out of my diet.
Your body will give you signals about what it does and doesn't like and they are worth paying attention to.

I'm pretty sure this person just came here to stir the pot. But if he/she didn't......... shame on them.
I feel no pity for them.... the very first post was how he/she was not following the plan... and "guessed" that he/she was eating 800. If you are "guessing" 800 you can bet it's more like 1600.......but he/she won't log food to see what he/she is actually eating....

I love reading your responses, you give really good advise and ask great questions to help people out ❤❤

Unfortunately to many surgeries are done without proper screening and the patient who should never have been approved is and they struggle. I am one of them 😢

I find the same thing happening with me. I’m 4 months out and sort of stalled at 50 pounds.

It's also possible that the OP hasn't had any support from their surgical/bariatric team. That is certainly the case for me, which is why I keep turning up on this board like a bad penny. They could be just venting their frustration, albeit in an emotional way that invites emotional responses.

I think if you read back through more of the thread, you'll see people accusing her of being a downer, negative, and implying that she hasn't tried hard enough, which, particularly without knowing this person, is highly judgmental. As stated above, realistic tips and strategies are always productive and positive, so yes, you are correct, and there's previous agreement on that point.

We're here to support each other. The fact is, Goodmange's outcome is a real possibility for anyone.
Preaching and lecturing is counterproductive: nonjudgmental tips and strategies are helpful & productive.

To those with encouraging words I appreciate it. Those of you who are sitting on your high horse saying “all you have to do is put in the work” can check their ego. Why didn’t you put in the work instead of having surgery? Because you were just as much a lazy slob as me. Nobody who has had this procedure should be judgemental but we’ve got some on here talking like they are Olympic athletes or something. I have been following the advise of my physician. I don’t write everything down but I’m only eating low calorie food. I never drink anything with calories, never eat out…. I don’t even eat what the rest of my family has for meals. I’ve always got my own food to eat. And I’m not losing weight…… like I said, I don’t know what else to do.

You need to get into some counseling ASAP. Its pretty clear you have some unrealistic expectations of what WLS was and how it would work, and you also might need some support on how to manage your new life and adjust post-op. I'm sorry this has been so disappointing and frustrating for you, but as others have said, weight loss surgery is a tool not a magic wand. You absolutely can overeat if you want to, it just makes it harder. But if you aren't tracking what/how much you're eating, how do you know if you're overeating? And exercise is good for you; sounds like you are really resistant to that, but the reality is you need to move your body regularly. Whether you are trying to lose weight or not, your body NEEDS it.
Again, your feelings are valid, WLS is a massive life change. But some additional support for your emotional/mental health would probably be really helpful for you. You can't have the surgery and then refuse to comply with the post-op requirements and then be angry that surgery "isn't working" for you. It is, but YOU need to make it work. We are here to cheer you on, but you've got to do your part.

The surgery is not bullshit. You just weren’t/aren’t in the right frame of mind to lose weight right now. Like others have said, it is a tool. If you are not disciplined enough to use the tool you will not get the results you want. Don’t get mad at the surgery/process/surgeon……be mad with yourself.
I truly hope you can figure out how to use the this tool to get the results you want….it is not magic after all. You actually have to put in the work.

800 calories long term is unrealistic. I stalled like everyone else and as soon as I was able to eat 1000-1200 calories I started losing the weight because my body was no longer in starvation mode. Try switching it up, try new exercises and see if that helps. I was 210 on my surgery date and am now 170 and my surgery was 9 weeks ago. But I realized I like everyone else who is starving themselves on here that didn’t work for me. Eating a balanced diet that yes Includes carbs has worked for me. What may work for another won’t necessarily work for you and no doctors don’t always know what they’re doing. My doctor didn’t even tell me about so many things that I eventually learned on my own or even on here talking to others. I’m sorry you’re having a rough time and for anyone being judgmental you clearly needed the surgery right so don’t go around bashing anyone else. Just cause you had it easier or your situation worked better. You don’t know what someone is going through and what they’re doing. You y very well could be an ongoing health issue they need to look into. Best of luck.

Don't know how your plan works, but "bariatric therapy" here runs $1700/hour.