Smanky

Oh wow, I feel your pain! My parents came to visit me, after I had lost 200 pounds, and my mom saw me mixing the essential amino acid supplement that I take daily (as recommended by my PCP). She looked at the label and said, “You know that has CALORIES?!”
Five. It has five calories in a scoop. And thanks, mom, I lost 200 pounds without your help but I still need you to micromanage my calories.
I guess some moms just can’t help themselves. Most of the time — and I think this is true in your case and mine — they have good intentions but no idea how harmful they can be. My mom put me on the path of yo-yo dieting from my pre-teen years. I’m sure she just wanted me to be healthy and never anticipated that the yo-yo dieting would contribute to long-term weight gain. So I feel free to ignore her comments.

I can't believe it. As of today, 7 months and 1 week since my surgery, I have officially lost 100 pounds!!!! I was 388 the day of my surgery. I cried this morning when I weighed myself. My next goal is to hit 270, which is what I weighed when I met my husband. After that, my last goal is to get to 200. Once I do that, I'll have to maintain it for a while and then SKIN SURGERY!!!!!
There's no magic cure, no pill or food or drink that just magically makes the weight melt off. This is the result of the sleeve surgery, Keto, working out 5-6 days per week (and alternating between cardio and weight training), and staying on track with what, and how much, I eat.
No one thing works for me, it all has to be combined into a partnership for my mind and body. Surgery alone isn't enough. Keto alone won't work (at least it didn't for me). Working out by itself helps a little, but not enough. It ALL has to work together, and the key is to stay motivated and dedicated. Stalls suck, and they get frustrating. But as long as I keep my eyes on the prize, I'm actually gonna get there!!!! I never thought this was possible, but here I am

Maybe distraction will work. Do you have Netflix or Prime? As a fellow busy professional (not an RN, but also go-go-go all day), I was at a loss being home all day with nothing to do. So I tried to distract myself by watching tv. I binged Jack Ryan (10/10, loved it!), finally watched Stranger Things (very cool), and tried to get into k-drama (really tried, but maybe I’m just not cool enough). I hear Wednesday (Addams Family remake) is amazing. Just stay away from food shows! LOL

Sorry you're struggling so much!
Based on what you're describing, neither weight loss surgery, nor GLP-1 receptor agonists like Ozempic/Wegovy/Rybelsus would do anything for you. Both WLS and these meds work by helping patients reduce caloric intake. You've already said that doing so didn't work for you, so I see little point in either approach.
Here's the deal. While this is a slight over simplification, you can't overcome basic physics even if there's some sort of hormonal imbalance. If you eat less than you burn, you'll lose weight. If you eat more than you burn, you'll gain weight. There's no way around that.
This makes me think you may be asking the wrong question? I think instead of asking how can I reduce my food intake further, the question you should be asking is why is my metabolism so low and what can I do to increase how much I'm burning?
Based on what you've described, there really are only two explanations: Either you are eating a lot more than you think you are (it's common for people to dramatically overestimate caloric intake), or your metabolism is unnaturally low.
My first recommendation would be to have a baseline metabolism check done. This is sometimes called resting metabolic rate (RMR), resting energy expenditure (REE), or Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR). Do some Google searches and you should find a place near you that can test this. Even if you do nothing else, knowing how many calories you burn at rest will help you understand what you should do to get to a normal weight.
Next, I'm going to guess that your previous fitness attempts were focused primarily on steady-state cardio. While that's great for heart health, it's not what I think you need. I would strongly recommend finding a reputable trainer that can help you add muscle mass through proper diet and exercise. Simply put, the more muscle mass you have, the faster your metabolism. In your case, where you've likely severely negatively impacted your metabolism through a starvation diet/anorexia, you may have to "reset" things with this type of training regimine.
One final point: stop obsessing with the number on the scale. This is a poor analog for how fit you are. Your body weight is comprised of lots of things other than fat (muscle, bone, Water, organ weight, etc.), so you could actually be really fit at 180, or carrying too much fat at 160. For example, you made a point of saying that after months of working out in a gym, you ended up weighing more than before you started. That's actually somewhat common and not necessarily a bad thing. That extra 6 pounds may have just be Fluid retention, or muscle (likely some of both), so the number on the scale was not a good way of tracking your overall health. This is one of the reasons we strongly recommend also periodically checking your body measurements, as well as potentially checking body composition. You can buy a BIA scale to check that, or there are plenty of commercial places that will do it for you.
Best of luck.

Re: losing teeth and TikTok. It's TikTok. Who's saying this? First hand post WLS patients with first-hand knowledge, or the Body Positivity/Fat Liberation/HAES crowd who have a vested interest in putting others off weightloss? I've never heard of the teeth thing. It sounds very much like scare-mongering BS to me, and that it's coming from TikTok raises one mighty red flag. You'll likely have some temporary Hair loss, but losing teeth? Never heard of such a thing in terms of a WLS side effect.
Re: the easy way out. People again often have an ulterior motive, or are projecting their own issues when they double down on the whole "easy way out" myth. I have never dieted harder and changed my lifestyle more diligently than I have after WLS. WE do the hard work counting calories and watching macros and exercising. The surgery simply makes it next to impossible to fall off the wagon. Do people who insist it's the easy way imagine it's ... what? Like the tooth fairy? Fat is taken away by the blessed pixies every night as we still eat whatever we like? It's ignorance, or in the case of people who want to argue and not accept the truth: willful stupidity. And they're not people worth having around.
Some people also just project their own insecurities and that will manifest as a nasty little emotion called envy. You'll find these people in both the above camps.

You simply can't escape at least some scars after getting your body to that stage of excess weight, and having loose skin is one of those scars. Your body had to make that excess skin over years, and it can't just retract like a rubber band, unfortunately. Factors like age and how much weight you've lost will inform how much you have, but the best thing people can do is make peace with it, especially if, like myself, they'll never be able to afford plastic surgery to get rid of it.
You can help support your skin with Vitamin intake, hydration and creams, but honestly, that won't stop it from happening. I do those things to keep my skin as healthy as possible, but I'm under no illusions that it's ever going to spring back. I did this to myself, so I accept that there's a price.
The upside: loose skin is easily hidden with clothes and that's waaaaay easier when you don't feel the heat as badly as you once did!

Hair loss definitely affects all of us who experience it. I was on the very cusp of covering my thinning hair up when leaving the house, but managed to make it work with a bleached pixie. Like Tomo, I feel you - I had to really work to keep my sense of humour up during my hair loss phase.
Have you looked into head coverings like turbans and head scarves? When looking for alternatives to hats, I found a number of websites that make lovely scarves and turbans for chemo patients and folks with alopecia. It's an alternative to wigs while your hair grows back.
Your weight loss so far is fantastic, though! Keep that in the front of your mind and remember that as depressing as it is when in the the midst of it, it's not forever.

I lost hair and started wearing chemo caps and headscarves and finally bought a wig. Then I made a new friend who is utterly bald due to alopecia. Her courage in going hairless has been inspirational and I have become much less self-conscious about my thin hair. My hair has started growing back (but is still very thin). My head gets cold so I do wear baseball caps and knit stocking caps but I'm no longer embarrassed to go bare-headed inside.

Hair loss definitely affects all of us who experience it. I was on the very cusp of covering my thinning hair up when leaving the house, but managed to make it work with a bleached pixie. Like Tomo, I feel you - I had to really work to keep my sense of humour up during my hair loss phase.
Have you looked into head coverings like turbans and head scarves? When looking for alternatives to hats, I found a number of websites that make lovely scarves and turbans for chemo patients and folks with alopecia. It's an alternative to wigs while your hair grows back.
Your weight loss so far is fantastic, though! Keep that in the front of your mind and remember that as depressing as it is when in the the midst of it, it's not forever.

I followed my plan. It was tough going at times, but I did follow it. You'll be eating more-or-less normally again at some point (albeit smaller portions than you were pre-op), it's just these first few weeks and months that can be challenging. I toughed it out. I was tired of being morbidly obese and just wanted the weight GONE!

That's brilliant. Happy surgiversary Summerseeker! Rejoining the world is definitely the biggest prize. Here's to your well deserved messy coastal knees-up! 🤪😎🥂

Yep, I'm in the bony ass syndrome club too. I almost have negative space where my butt once was. There's just nothing there to act as a natural cushion and likewise it's uncomfortable if I sit for too long. I can feel my tailbone now, which I've never been able to do. So I may be investing in a donut cushion in the near future.

I reached onederland today! I haven't been here in years.
HW: 245. SW: 220. CW: 199. GW: 150. RnY 10/18/22. 52-years old. 5'6" tall.

That lady is still in a process, and so long as her doctor and team are on-board and guiding her, good for her. Someone else's happiness is no-one else's business.
Consider how many people thought our obese bodies were disgusting and they'd "rather die" than look like us. Thinking the same of a skinny person is the exact same energy. Glad you're finding your happy place weight wise, but no need to be judging others on the way. We've all had our fill of that, surely?

That lady is still in a process, and so long as her doctor and team are on-board and guiding her, good for her. Someone else's happiness is no-one else's business.
Consider how many people thought our obese bodies were disgusting and they'd "rather die" than look like us. Thinking the same of a skinny person is the exact same energy. Glad you're finding your happy place weight wise, but no need to be judging others on the way. We've all had our fill of that, surely?

you're seven months out now - from about this point and for the rest of your life, you're going to occasionally have days like this. It was a holiday - even skinny people tend to eat more than usual or have special treats on such days. The trick is to get right back to it the next day and don't let it continue on. Sounds like you have a good plan.

It's like getting tortured isn't it. Just struggle through. By day four you will have it easier. Everyone is set a different diet so we can't really advise you on what you could eat. sugar free ice pops should be fine though.
The reason they do the diet is to -
1. Make us realise how much and how badly we ate. It helps break the sugar and junk food cycle.
2. To shrink our livers so the surgery is safe. A fatty liver is very fragile, they have to move it to get at the surgery site. A few people have had the surgery begin and woke to find the surgeon said, 'sorry can't do this today' They were heartbroken.
Stick with it, it's worth it in the end. We are all living proof its possible. Mine was 3 long torturous weeks and I was so sick of it that I almost ran to the operating theatre shouting ' let's get this done'

Distract yourself with everything you can. The pre-surgery diet is universally the hardest bit, and everyone just has to soldier through it. The first week is the worst, as it's pure cold-turkey and that means withdrawals from carbs and sugar which are rough. Ask your team if you can at least eat vegetables for some texture? If not, find any distractions, whether it's walking, reading, playing games, doing some DIY.
It feels like forever when you start it, but the time does go. By week two, my looming surgery brought pre-op nerves that helped distract me from the starvation diet.

That's brilliant. Happy surgiversary Summerseeker! Rejoining the world is definitely the biggest prize. Here's to your well deserved messy coastal knees-up! 🤪😎🥂

Distract yourself with everything you can. The pre-surgery diet is universally the hardest bit, and everyone just has to soldier through it. The first week is the worst, as it's pure cold-turkey and that means withdrawals from carbs and sugar which are rough. Ask your team if you can at least eat vegetables for some texture? If not, find any distractions, whether it's walking, reading, playing games, doing some DIY.
It feels like forever when you start it, but the time does go. By week two, my looming surgery brought pre-op nerves that helped distract me from the starvation diet.

Not today but this weekend we are going away with friends to the coast, it's an all-inclusive hotel so hopefully it should get messy !

Well its exactly one year since I got my sleeve. I am so glad that I was able to do this. I cannot believe the difference in myself. As the pounds fell off, I gained my independence and gained myself-esteem back. That alone was worth every penny it cost me. I was beginning to become a hermit, happy to stay home and never face anyone again.
Yes, the preop diet was hard. I was sick and nauseated for weeks after and my recovery was slow. Would I do this again? in a heartbeat, I wish I could have done it years ago. If you are thinking about the surgery and are still on the fence. If I could do this, you can too

That lady is still in a process, and so long as her doctor and team are on-board and guiding her, good for her. Someone else's happiness is no-one else's business.
Consider how many people thought our obese bodies were disgusting and they'd "rather die" than look like us. Thinking the same of a skinny person is the exact same energy. Glad you're finding your happy place weight wise, but no need to be judging others on the way. We've all had our fill of that, surely?

That lady is still in a process, and so long as her doctor and team are on-board and guiding her, good for her. Someone else's happiness is no-one else's business.
Consider how many people thought our obese bodies were disgusting and they'd "rather die" than look like us. Thinking the same of a skinny person is the exact same energy. Glad you're finding your happy place weight wise, but no need to be judging others on the way. We've all had our fill of that, surely?

I'm thankfully pretty shielded from this most of the time, since I'm self-employed and work from home. I imagine if you work in an office or on-site, then the comments would happen. I had my first a week or so ago, when visiting a friend and she quietly said I looked skinny and asked if I was well. She hasn't seen me in a while, so I guess there is a noticeable weight drop and I KNOW my collar bones and neck sinews stick out prominently now. It still triggered a weird body dysmorphic patch in me, and thankfully my partner put my mind at ease. In her defense, she was coming from a place of care, and she has suffered from restrictive eating disorders in the past so I know she was just seeing my jutting bones and making unconscious connections to her own past.
My real test will be Xmas and going interstate to see the family and in-laws for the first time in about half a year. I am a good size and a half smaller since they last saw me.
All that said, anyone calling out to a stranger OR an acquaintance with the word "fat" needs a kick between the legs. Inexcusably rude, fundamentally unfunny.