You Are My Sunshine

*raises hand*
I cancelled. TWICE.
The first time, a few weeks after they set a surgery date, the second time just after I did all my redo labs.
I did end up getting the surgery done the at the third attempt which was almost 2 years for my original date of that initial referral. I don’t quite remember what exactly led me to back out those first two times other than I guess I just wasn’t ready. When I finally bit the bullet and went though with it, I sorta wished I didn’t change my mind as I felt I could’ve felt awesome-er sooner.
I’m 3 years out now and and completely happy/satisfied with the surgery and the results. Hands down best choice I made regarding my health, weight, mental well-being, confidence, relationships with others, etc, etc, I could go on and on….
Would I have had the same success if I went through with it the first (or second) time? When I wasn’t in a comfortable head space? Who knows.
You are ready when YOU say you are ready.
Good Luck! ❤️

I think you were smart and brave for backing out if you felt that way. You just need more time to prepare and decide if and when it's right for you. It took me 20ish years from when I started thinking about surgery to when I actually had it done, and while of course now I wish I'd done it sooner, I know that I did it at the right time for me and have no regrets. Be kind to yourself and give yourself more time to decide what is right for you. You're not a failure for taking this seriously!
Good luck to you!

Sent from my Nokia 7.2 using BariatricPal mobile app

Today was weirdly hard because I just wasn't hungry. Had to kind of force myself to drink and eat some stuff. Probably could use another shake, but I'm tired and want to go to bed. Jello has been good. One more week... then another couple weeks, lol.

Surgery changes your body but does nothing for your brain. Many people see therapists to help address issues regarding addiction and/or using food as a coping mechanism. Personally, surgery has done wonders for my body. My brain is a work in progress and I suspect that will always be the case.
Your question is wise and shows you have insight. My suggestion would be to seek a therapist, preferably one with experience with bariatric patients, for guidance. You have nothing to lose by proceeding slowly to ensure you make the right decision for yourself.

I agree that a bariatric therapist would be helpful to you with or without surgery. The surgery is a tool. The smaller stomach and the decreased hunger hormones help but the head hunger will remain lost surgery and you have to get that under control for this to be the most successful. I am only learning post surgery that I have these issues so I am now doing the work that you can do pre surgery and you will be ahead of the game.

I’m really not okay I’m sad I’m hurting ever since I did my sleeve from Feb 10,21 gallbladder removal March 26,21 then in September 23,21 I’ve just had double hernia surgery my body been through a lot I’ve lost a lot weight this November 17 will be my mommy birthday she’s no longer here it’s been 7yrs since her passing I’m still hurting from my mom passing I realized I’ve never grief of her passing I’m not sleeping I’ve not been okay since I did my surgeries please every one please pray for me

If you have emotional eating issues a bariatric therapist may be a helpful component to your success. The surgery is just a tool. Smaller stomach And decreased hunger hormones help but head hunger will remain and we have to learn to control it. I am an emotional/boredom eater and while I am still losing weight I struggle with my food choices daily. I believe this will be a lifelong struggle for me. To answer your question I am 8 months out and I have sampled all the foods I used to eat and I can tolerate them. But I will choose not have them again until maintenance as I know That they will not help me lose weight. Like mentioned above dumping is more of an issue with Sadi than with the sleeve so really high fat and high sugar foods may give You issues. But from what I understand people who have issues with these foods develop aversions to them so I don't think you Crave them anymore so you don’t really miss them. Maybe someone who has dumping Issues can weigh in about that.

I'm scheduled for surgery December 16th and I'm having second thoughts. I had a traumatic childhood (I am in weekly therapy) so control over food is important to me. I'm not a binger not do I necessarily eat too much, I gain weight because of what I eat. Will I be able to eat any foods I like after I'm through the post-op liquid/puree stages? I can't handle eating only low fat Protein and veggies now and that seems to be what others are eating on chat groups. Should I not have the surgery or have others with emotional eating issues been ok? I really appreciate hearing from anyone willing to answer, especially those with psychological food reliance issues. Also, I'm told no caffeine, ever again. Is that what you guys follow?

Thank you so much! I truly appreciate your thoughtful words.
I am using this time between now and my appointment to reflect and think about everything to figure out where I need to go from here, and hopefully get some good conversation with the psych. Can't lie, though, I'm struggling a bit!

You Are My Sunshine- Thank you for sharing this post. I am sure there are many people on here that are considering this surgery that may also be apprehensive & have similar fears of going through with the surgery.
It is a life changing decision, and I think it is better to hold off until you are sure that you are ready to proceed. Perhaps going into it so unsure may have given you a more challenging recovery, in that you might have more buyer's remorse & have more difficulty tolerating the challenges you might face during the healing process.
A year ago, I don't think I would have been ready for this surgery. I had been offended when doctors suggested it in the past. I needed to be in the right place & ready for it. Once I finally decided that I needed the surgery for me to have a successful weight loss journey, I had a peaceful & hopeful feeling about it. I still had some slight fears of complications, but nothing that would have stopped my plans.
I think the suggestion from ShoppGirl to see a bariatric therapist is a great idea. Give yourself time to discover whether this is right for you, or maybe it something that should be reconsidered down the road.
Good luck, and know that you did the right thing for you at this time. 🤗

Sorry you're dealing with that.
Do you live with her? Do you eat with her? Is she overweight?
I'm just wondering if maybe there's some codependency there or other relationship issues that are feeding into her not supporting you on a health journey. Is it just the surgery for her or the idea of you losing weight or the fear of changes? Does she not trust in your decision making? Have you made changes already or does she see a pattern of behavior that isn't changing?
Lots of questions, lol. Just trying to help you brainstorm to see where this is coming from. It's so difficult when you don't have support, especially from the people close to you.

I work out like an animal and it just makes me more hungry. Keep that in mind. Weight is lost in the kitchen, unfortunately. But I will say that because of the exercise, I'm not gaining.

Here are two food plans that you may find helpful: A Pound of Cure, by Matthew Weiner, MD (a bariatric surgeon) and Bright Lines Eating, by Susan Peirce Thompson, PhD. I've lost 50 lbs pre-surgery following A Pound of Cure. I intend to follow it for life, post surgery.

I didn't cancel my surgery, but I started the preliminary steps to getting surgery about 15 years before I actually went through with it. I considered it again several times in between, and like so many people, I say in hindsight that I wish I had done it earlier, but I don't think I was really ready for it until I actually went through with it (July 2020). And I think if I had done it before I was really ready for it, my results wouldn't have been as good. it is a huge, life-altering decision, so I think if you felt such a strong sense that you weren't ready for it, it was probably the right decision to cancel/postpone.

I am glad you have an appointment. Only you will know if the surgery is best for you and that seems like a great place to explore your feelings. Also, even if you decide not to do the surgery and to do it through diet and exercise, working on any disordered eating you maY have (if you do have any) will help you with that too. The bariatric therapist and nutritionist are two key components along with surgery for success so I’m sure they will be very helpful if you choose to do it on your own as well. And if you choose to have the surgery in the future you will be ahead of the game.

Well. I went through the program, got approved, got a date, did my 2 week liquid diet, took my Gatorade the night before (to kick you out of ketosis), washed with Hibiclens, got all my Proteins, packed my bag, washed with Hibiclens for the 2nd time...
And then I started to have a meltdown.
I could hardly get to the car. Finally, I got in the car, went to the hospital did (a little late to my check-in time). I went to the counter to check in and just said, "I'd like to cancel my surgery." Dude raised his eyebrows, said OK. And I left. Slammed a Protein Drink in the car, came home and had a little broth with tofu.
I'm not sure how to feel about it. I felt a wave of peace after leaving the hospital. But now I just feel kind of empty. I've been planning this for so long. I told people about it. I did everything that would indicate I was going to have it... and then I didn't.
Has anyone been on this side of things? Did you end up getting surgery later?

I literally feel like I’m going to do this very thing! I’m 34 days out and feel in sheer panic and need to cancel. I’ve finally done so well with CrossFit and my diet and I am losing at a steady pace. Im terrified at times of the same things you mentioned. I don’t know what the answer is, but I know we will get to the place we need to be, surgery or not with whatever we decide to make peace with .

I'm so sorry you had to go through the panic, but I think its not uncommon. I consulted and started the process several times before I finally went through with surgery. For me, doing the mental and emotional work was the key. I wasn't ready before because I hadn't done the internal work. Maybe some time in therapy will help clarify your goals and needs? Best of luck to you!

Well, I didn't cancel quite as dramatically as you did.
In 2013, I started down the path, doing pre-op visits, etc. At the same time, I started Tim Ferriss's slow carb diet. I did great, had a ton of weight coming off. I realize now that his plan re-inforced my binge eating habits in a way that made it impossible for me to maintain once I went off the diet. But at the time, I had this confidence that I could do anything.
The nutritionist asked me what I was doing to lose weight and I explained the diet. She told me that I needed to realize that once I had the surgery I couldn't eat like that any more. Now that I am post-surgery, I see that she was absolutely right. But at the time, it offended me. I was losing weight like crazy (ended up losing 150 pounds in 13 months) and she had the audacity to tell me that I couldn't keep doing it? I cancelled the rest of my appointments. It was another 8 years before I re-started the process and went through with the surgery in August 2021.
Before my actual surgery, I had a lot of the same fears you did. RNY is a pretty freaking permanent and I had no clue what awaited on the other side of surgery. Laying alone on the gurney during pre-op, not knowing what life would hold when I awoke...that was tough. I had always seen VSG/RNY as my last resort. What I realized was that I had come to my last resort. The next diet was very likely to turn out like all of the others: works for a little while, but the weight comes back. I didn't want to do that to my body (and mind) any more. I have a wife and four kids and they deserved to have me around for a while longer. So I went through with it not because I had confidence that everything would be roses and rainbows on the other side, but because it was the best (and probably only) option for me to turn around my health. Bariatric surgery is a bet on yourself. It's a bet that you have more discipline than you realize (or that your body shape shows) and that if given a real opportunity, you can turn this around permanently. Are you ready to bet on yourself?

Do you feel like this is something that you still want to do? If so, maybe a bariatric therapist can help with the anxiety. They should have statistics on how often (how infrequent) these things happen that you are afraid of. They can also tell you the statistics of things that happen because of obesity without surgery. Plus if they are prescribing dr maybe they can give you something that you can take the night before and morning of surgery to calm you down. Of course you have to make sure the surgeon is okay with you taking it but my guess is that they will take your anxiety more seriously now.

Yes trying to do that. Feeling some shame, disappointment.

Well. I went through the program, got approved, got a date, did my 2 week liquid diet, took my Gatorade the night before (to kick you out of ketosis), washed with Hibiclens, got all my Proteins, packed my bag, washed with Hibiclens for the 2nd time...
And then I started to have a meltdown.
I could hardly get to the car. Finally, I got in the car, went to the hospital did (a little late to my check-in time). I went to the counter to check in and just said, "I'd like to cancel my surgery." Dude raised his eyebrows, said OK. And I left. Slammed a Protein Drink in the car, came home and had a little broth with tofu.
I'm not sure how to feel about it. I felt a wave of peace after leaving the hospital. But now I just feel kind of empty. I've been planning this for so long. I told people about it. I did everything that would indicate I was going to have it... and then I didn't.
Has anyone been on this side of things? Did you end up getting surgery later?

Well. I went through the program, got approved, got a date, did my 2 week liquid diet, took my Gatorade the night before (to kick you out of ketosis), washed with Hibiclens, got all my Proteins, packed my bag, washed with Hibiclens for the 2nd time...
And then I started to have a meltdown.
I could hardly get to the car. Finally, I got in the car, went to the hospital did (a little late to my check-in time). I went to the counter to check in and just said, "I'd like to cancel my surgery." Dude raised his eyebrows, said OK. And I left. Slammed a Protein Drink in the car, came home and had a little broth with tofu.
I'm not sure how to feel about it. I felt a wave of peace after leaving the hospital. But now I just feel kind of empty. I've been planning this for so long. I told people about it. I did everything that would indicate I was going to have it... and then I didn't.
Has anyone been on this side of things? Did you end up getting surgery later?

Yes trying to do that. Feeling some shame, disappointment.

Well. I went through the program, got approved, got a date, did my 2 week liquid diet, took my Gatorade the night before (to kick you out of ketosis), washed with Hibiclens, got all my Proteins, packed my bag, washed with Hibiclens for the 2nd time...
And then I started to have a meltdown.
I could hardly get to the car. Finally, I got in the car, went to the hospital did (a little late to my check-in time). I went to the counter to check in and just said, "I'd like to cancel my surgery." Dude raised his eyebrows, said OK. And I left. Slammed a Protein Drink in the car, came home and had a little broth with tofu.
I'm not sure how to feel about it. I felt a wave of peace after leaving the hospital. But now I just feel kind of empty. I've been planning this for so long. I told people about it. I did everything that would indicate I was going to have it... and then I didn't.
Has anyone been on this side of things? Did you end up getting surgery later?