Manatee

Tifferoni, I'd rather be 22 again Key West it is, reservations made and everything

Dead thread? I'm planning on some sort of tropical trip over New Years (agent's still working on details). Any tips/tricks for the single traveler? Looks like Key West or Cabo right now.

Beers are out for me, as the carbonation gives me problems. When I drink, it's usually screwdrivers or some sort of diet pseudo juice and rum. Beware the lowered tolerance. Losing (almost) a third of me REALLY affected the blood alcohol levels.

That's your answer right there. I weight train aggressively, and do watch my calories (although not so much here during the holidays)

You know what? The 25 lbs that I still have to lose loom as large for me as the 90+ that I've already lost. If I had never been BIG, then pushing "almost 200" at 5'9" would certainly be grounds for complaining. I'm sure that's how they see it, and they may not see themselves as "skinny people". In other words, never attribute to malice what can be attributed to inattention and ignorance

My answer changes depending on how they're asking. If it's just a general off-the-cuff inquiry, I give them the "portion control and exercise" answer -- which is true. If I think the person is really struggling with their weight, then I explain the band and the experience I've had with it. Some people at work know, some don't, and I don't care if some people think of it as a shortcut.

I get this too (at 30+ lbs overweight still!), but I choose to accept it in the sense they're giving it. It's a compliment. I think it's important to remember that everyone's sense of 'normal' is getting skewed as the general population gets more obese. I'm still officially overweight by BMI, but most people would consider me an average looking guy these days.

Like everyone else said, if you're ready and you think you know what you're getting into (you don't, but that's OK -- you'll understand later), then go for it. For me, the whole process from "hmm?" to "done" was right at 30 days, and that was with the insurance paying.

Hmmm. Well, I didn't tell folks because frankly, it's none of their business. Is that a cop-out? Regarding the original question, I'm STILL not convinced this will work. I'm eating right(er) and working out aggressively, but I still fear that I'll lose focus and slide back into the 280s. I've lost this much weight before, multiple times, and it was all back when I decided to do this. I know logically that it's not likely to happen, but emotionally, this is still all temporary.

Dr Mosier in Denton. Fabulous.

I've decided to follow Paulax's example and create a countdown thread to force a little accountability onto me. I'm about 25 lbs from where I want to be (160-165), and been basically stalled since October. So, time to push... 25

Fair question. Honestly, if I were to date someone in the first place, that means that they fall into the aforementioned "acceptable" range. I wouldn't expect anyone, male or female, to date someone they didn't find mildly to very attractive. This means that if we should break up, it wouldn't be because of physical attractiveness or lack thereof. More likely, it's because we just aren't into each other, emotional disconnect, completely incompatible beliefs, nasty habits, something I did, etc. None of that would change with "hotness", and so those problems would remain. Now -- we all know that weight loss affects personality. Look around this board about all the comments re: improved self esteem, confidence, etc. If someone before was a dull little blob that wouldn't look anyone in the eye, kept to h(im/her)self and basically wasn't interacting, and now they're confident, strutting, fashionable and bubbly, then yeah, they're going to be treated differently by the world. THAT is the part I'm working on now, trying to be more That Guy, and the world really is starting to change for me. Does this mean life's unfair for blobby introverts? Yep. The options are basically (1) live with it (2) whine about it (3) fix yourself. I choose door #3. It's damned hard. The band is a start, working out is a start, and now I have to kill off 39 years of shyness. Still, what I've been doing before now didn't work, so why not join 'em?

While I can't tell precisely how I will react to someone, I can certainly tell if someone is completely outside my range of attraction. Everyone has certain types that they fall head over heels for, certain types that are "ok" for them (and this area is where the attraction can grow depending on interaction) and those that they just find unattractive for some reason. If someone is simply unappealing to me, then there's no point in continuing to pursue a romantic relationship. Sure, one can keep up the pen pal thing, but remember that the ultimate goal is to find a long term romantic partner that rocks your world. Why should anyone settle? I know that there's people out there who just aren't into my look. That's why I have a detailed profile with multiple photos and a full body shot. That way, those who don't like me don't waste either one of our time. That's also why I don't bother to contact those with no photos, or with the carefully cropped face-only pic. If they're hiding something already, they're not for me. Note: physical attraction doesn't excuse crazy. If a woman is precisely my physical type and is an angry nutjob, I don't need her in my life.

All I can tell you is that this was the best thing I've done for myself (other than the divorce :girl_hug:). Sure, there are things you'll have to change, but the eating habits you have now are BAD for you. Food is the enemy, you really have to treat this like quitting smoking. Short term pain (physical and mental) for long term victory.

Welcome to (y)our little corner of cyberspace! I wish I had an answer on the adult dating thing, but I really don't. Seems most things are couple-oriented. Maybe church Singles Classes, if you're into that? Hi there, and welcome. The shy thing and the 'happy with me' thing are intertwined. When you get to the point you think you're the cat's meow, you'll be confident. In the meantime, you might want to look for a ToastMasters chapter. They teach public speaking, and if you can speak to a mass of folks you can speak to one. Welcome to Laura! I look forward to your input. I'll admit straight up that I got banded for vanity/cosmetic reasons. The health benefits are nice too, but really not that important to me. Welcome! When I'm out with friends or on the occasional date, I just make very sure to order things that I am comfortable with. I also avoid social activities for about a week after a fill adjustment, just in case. Glad to see new participants on the thread, please keep posting. More perspectives == a good thing.

Personality IS important, but so are looks. It's unrealistic to expect someone to want to be in a relationship with somebody to whom they're just not attracted. That doesn't make the man (or woman!) shallow, it's just life. I know that I'm not the best catch out there, and I certainly wasn't before when I weighed almost 100 lbs more. That was MY fault, for letting myself get into that shape. It's MY responsibility to drag myself back into at least reasonably normal shape to appeal to more people. To expect millions of years of human evolutionary wiring to change because I am fat is pretty unrealistic. I can be witty and charming and all that, but frankly, I'm working on buff :girl_hug:

Dave, the trick is to STOP the first time you're full. The restriction is probably fine, but we can all 'beat' the band by grazing all day, or eating soft foods, or liquid calories, or really crunchy stuff. I'm guilty of all that at some time or another. What's helped me recently is setting up one of those online food-tracking accounts and being brutally honest with myself. Turns out the band is fine, but I me myself am sabotaging my progress with crap eating and too many calories.

Keep a food log and be honest with yourself in it. I use fitday.com, but there's others. I find if I can graphically see what I'm doing, I fix it. I was stalled, and after I started using this tool I really picked up on where I was fouled up. Exercise is going to have to be part of the plan. If you can afford it, find a personal trainer or a spin class or something that's scheduled. I find that having $$$ on the line motivates me. Yes, if you're big, people are going to stare at first. They get over it, and so should you. Keep your eye on the prize. Stay away from liquid calories. See the first paragraph about honestly tracking your calories. Ice cream, frosties, sodas, juices, sugar-infested coffees -- all these will sink you. Don't cheat. You're only hurting yourself. Frankly, nobody else cares, so you have to do this for you. Last thing: some of us have issues that drove us to get fat in the first place. If you're really trying to hide from the world behind a layer of flab, then you'll end up fighting yourself. Be honest with yourself, and if you need help see a professsional therapist. Good luck

Just curious how & when you handled the 'I've been banded' conversation?

Well, just because he turned out to be a post-op transsexual with paranoid schizophrenia doesn't make him abnormal Hell, if you met online, that makes him dead normal :heh:

Well, for me the date with BlindDateGirl was almost exactly 6 months post surgery. However, that timing was more coincidence than planning. Of course, it's easier for women, so keep that in mind.

You just have to be careful how you define "coffee" Black, creamer and spenda? No problem Starbucks grande mocha frap with whip? That's a ton of liquid calories that most people don't track.

Just 1 so far. It's the core of what will be a half sleeve. I'm planning on adding a checker flag wrap around the top, and skeleton gears along the bottom. This pic was taken right after it was put on, so there's some discoloration and bleeding.

So Di, good or bad? For me, it's yet another Friday night, and I'm very heavily self-medicated on rum and orange juice. Drinking alone is a bad thing, no? I hate holidays. Days off == time to think, and I don't need that.

So I've done pretty well with this damned snake wrapped around my belly, down some 80 lbs so far. That ain't bad. So, why do I look at myself in the mirror now and see a fatass? I didn't think of myself that way when I was morbidly obese. Surely someone else has been here before, how do I get past this?