blackcatsandbaddecisions

Like blackcats, I’m a deflector. I usually just turn it around on them and then they just start talking away. Someone said “oh you’re withering away to nothing” (Mind you I’m only 53lbs down and still at 220, so not withering away). I just say “oh well I’m trying!” And giggle and turned it right around and said “I heard you...”. And off she went talking about herself.
My close people know about surgery, and I think one has told a few people to be honest because I feel like they know but they haven’t said anything. I’m not ashamed to have had the surgery, it’s just none of people’s business! I want to share, when I WANT to share.

I am a pro at deflection, so I was always super vague.
Where were you?
“Yeah, I had to have some time off but it’s great to be back!”
Why’d you have to have time off?
“I just had some stuff, too much to get into now but all taken care of and I’m back!” If you follow up with a question about them (what they’ve been doing, project at work, random work gossip) that generally ends it because people love to talk about themselves.

Then when anyone asks me if I’m losing weight I always say “I’m working on it!”
When they ask me how much i have lost I laugh and say “Not the amount I want yet but I’m still plugging away!”

I always try to end my answers on a positive note. I’m sure people have figured out that I’m not giving out details but if you’re cheerful about it people generally will stop pressing. Also once you’re done deflecting bring it back to something vaguely related you know they want to talk about and just like that you’re done.

I work with insurance and I can say with certainty it is a zero chance. If it’s excluded it’s excluded and a hundred doctors could say it’s the best thing and they still won’t cover it. The contract says they don’t have to cover it and they absolutely won’t. Unless you change jobs to a company with bariatric coverage you’ve likely tapped out this option.

With that being said, there are a ton of people on these boards who have gone the self-pay route and had great success. There are affordable options abroad and in the US and financing available. Don’t give up hope because of the insurance.

I work with insurance and I can say with certainty it is a zero chance. If it’s excluded it’s excluded and a hundred doctors could say it’s the best thing and they still won’t cover it. The contract says they don’t have to cover it and they absolutely won’t. Unless you change jobs to a company with bariatric coverage you’ve likely tapped out this option.

With that being said, there are a ton of people on these boards who have gone the self-pay route and had great success. There are affordable options abroad and in the US and financing available. Don’t give up hope because of the insurance.

I had one post surgery for about 24 hours. I’m really sorry to report it hurt quite a bit when they took it out but I may just have been being a wuss about it. They removed it shortly before I left the hospital the day after surgery.

Yeah, I’d fire this loser ASAP. Not only is he being an asshole, his views aren’t even supported by evidence, and that is a huge concern from a medical professional standpoint.

Yeah, I’d fire this loser ASAP. Not only is he being an asshole, his views aren’t even supported by evidence, and that is a huge concern from a medical professional standpoint.

I'm sure different psychiatrists have different approaches to this but some of the things my evaluator was looking for included:
Understanding of the risks and possible consequences of surgery Commitment to making permanent changes to how I eat Realistic expectations Any pre-existing mental illness is being treated and managed well Any pre-existing eating disorder has been addressed medically and psychologically Any other addictions have been treated and managed The presence of an adequate support network I really didn't get the feeling that she was looking for reasons to disqualify me. It was more like she was doing due diligence to make sure I was of sound mind and mentally healthy enough for the challenges of bariatric surgery. It took 30 minutes, tops. I wouldn't stress too much.

Celebrating my 2 month SURGIVERSARY by weighing in at 295 pounds. That is a loss of 59 pounds since I started all the pre-surgery requirements and 37 pounds since surgery on 11/30/2020. I am loving this.

So happy that I finally reached my goal of getting under 100 kg! That is a big milestone for me!
I feel great and I can not wait for the summer, when I can finally buy new smaller clothes and feel confident in my new body. (Right now I am wearing my huge sweaters and winter jackets because it is soooo cold outside)

Milestone today! 30 lbs lost after surgery, 87.8 down since I started my weight loss in July, and I am now officially more than halfway to my goal weight! I just have to do this all one more time, haha. 😅

Also two people I work with actually commented this week that I looked like I’d lost weight. I never bring up dieting or weight loss so I was wondering how long it would take for someone to actually comment. The answer is darn near 90 lb loss!

Honestly, it’s going to be amazing. The first two days was difficult for me but after that it was smooth sailing. It is so amazing actually seeing weight going down when I step on the scale. I feel like I’m becoming normal human shaped, and like I’m not trudging through life. The biggest change for me is not feeling like food and eating has such a powerful hold over me any longer. I still enjoy food and eating but I don’t feel the compulsion and insatiable hunger.

This surgery is an incredible gift and I think you should be excited. Nobody can understand the daily struggle that is life as a morbidly obese person unless they’ve lived it.

One person I know who spectacularly failed their surgery insisted before surgery that they were going to eat the same just “smaller portions”. And it worked for 3.5 months. That’s all the time they lost weight, because after that point the “small portions” of the same food that got them obese were enough to stall weight loss. He never made it out of the obese range.

For anyone reading this thread stressing out about which surgery to pick, I really hope you get one takeaway. The sleeve and the bypass are both great surgeries that give you an opportunity for success. If you go into it thinking what really matters is your choice of surgery above all, and aren’t making conscious choices to examine what and how you are currently eating that got you into this mess, you’ll likely fail the surgery. Pick whichever surgery works for your specific circumstances (history of heartburn, medications, etc) and commit.

Honestly, it’s going to be amazing. The first two days was difficult for me but after that it was smooth sailing. It is so amazing actually seeing weight going down when I step on the scale. I feel like I’m becoming normal human shaped, and like I’m not trudging through life. The biggest change for me is not feeling like food and eating has such a powerful hold over me any longer. I still enjoy food and eating but I don’t feel the compulsion and insatiable hunger.

This surgery is an incredible gift and I think you should be excited. Nobody can understand the daily struggle that is life as a morbidly obese person unless they’ve lived it.

One person I know who spectacularly failed their surgery insisted before surgery that they were going to eat the same just “smaller portions”. And it worked for 3.5 months. That’s all the time they lost weight, because after that point the “small portions” of the same food that got them obese were enough to stall weight loss. He never made it out of the obese range.

For anyone reading this thread stressing out about which surgery to pick, I really hope you get one takeaway. The sleeve and the bypass are both great surgeries that give you an opportunity for success. If you go into it thinking what really matters is your choice of surgery above all, and aren’t making conscious choices to examine what and how you are currently eating that got you into this mess, you’ll likely fail the surgery. Pick whichever surgery works for your specific circumstances (history of heartburn, medications, etc) and commit.

Thing is, there’s no surgery that will allow you to eat the way you used to and still maintain a weight loss. You don’t have to “diet” forever but you will need to eat mindfully. A lot of us are accustomed to eating with reckless abandon and that’s how we got big in the first place. Since I’m done losing weight, I allow myself occasional treats. Nothing is forbidden forever, but if mealtime was a TV show, some foods are part of the regular cast and some are “guest stars” I see once in a while. I don’t “diet” but I do try to make good choices about what to eat (with an indulgence thrown in here and there).

Gastric Sleeve on 2/5/2021. This decision has been a year in the making. I read that others have anxiety as they approach their date (not that there's anything wrong with that) but there are few other decisions I've made in my life that I have been more at peace with. I have looked at this experience as a second chance: a second chance to become the best version of myself; a 2nd chance to forever change my relationship with food; a 2nd chance to no longer sit on the sidelines but rather to get in the game and go on the adventures in which my obesity has prevented me from experiencing.
This seems to be an amazing community and look forward to sharing more about my journey.
-Kevin

I started at 48.6 BMI and I chose the sleeve. My doctor says that regain is about your choices in what you eat, not your choices in your type of surgery. Anyone can screw up either surgery.

There are plenty of people on this site who lost all their excess weight with either type of surgery. There are also plenty who regained it all with either type. Both are very valid forms of surgery, if you have reasons to pick one over the other then do so. It sounds like you’re pretty set on the bypass. You should advocate for yourself for that surgery.

I started at 48.6 BMI and I chose the sleeve. My doctor says that regain is about your choices in what you eat, not your choices in your type of surgery. Anyone can screw up either surgery.

There are plenty of people on this site who lost all their excess weight with either type of surgery. There are also plenty who regained it all with either type. Both are very valid forms of surgery, if you have reasons to pick one over the other then do so. It sounds like you’re pretty set on the bypass. You should advocate for yourself for that surgery.

I had a nonfat latte with one shot in it three days post op. Once I was able to drink larger amounts of liquid I restarted my morning latte (two shots of espresso and steamed fairlife milk). A few days a week I have a cup of black coffee in the afternoon as well. I’m 2.5 months postop.

Never any issues, helps me get my Protein in, and is my big “treat” per day. My MD never really had an issue with coffee one way or the other- or if he did I must have blocked that messaging out or something haha.

One other piece of advice I have is that you are focusing on the all or nothing approach that isn’t going to serve you well long term. Let’s pretend you only lose 90% of your excess weight. Isn’t that a heck of a lot better than where you are at now?

I started off at over 48 BMI and 339 lbs. I had 174 lbs to lose to get to goal. I knew this was a huge amount so one thing I did to help myself was I committed early to losing weight. I lost over 50 lbs before surgery by sticking to low carb, and I just hit 90 lbs overall right after my two month surgery-versary. I’m over halfway there, with 84 lbs remaining. If you’re worried about the honeymoon, you have control over that. Start today, because every pound you lose now is weight you don’t have to lose later. And stop worrying about averages or anecdotes. You aren’t an average, you’re one person being given a tool that you can do amazing things with, or you can waste entirely. The success is about the person.

I had to step back from all forums for a bit. Even after surgery I was second guessing and even starting to get depressed. I wasn’t reading anything negative or being attacked or anything. I just needed to stop reading everyone else’s experience. This surgery was about me and my family and being healthy again. Medical professionals helped me to make this choice after attempts that I failed at to loose weight. My wife and family were supportive with my other failed attempts and this was my next option.
As for the Covid aspect. If I was to get Covid at this weight I am more susceptible to being in the hospital anyway due to blood pressure and weight so... I’d be there either way. Why not go for the surgery and make it easier on the docs and nurses rather then go in with Covid. 2 days post op vs weeks with Covid. You are welcome docs and nurses.
But truely my stepping back from the forums for a couple weeks has helped me. As well as going to the doctors and listening to my trusted medical professionals. 

Please ignore the naysayers, do not even engage with them, its a bit a like religion and politics, we aren't going to change their stance and they aren't going to change our stance.
There will be some who believe we should be open and tell our weight loss surgeries to all and sundry, be an advocate for it. That is not our responsibility, our responsibility is to our own well being, and if that means keeping it private to ourselves and/or trusted family or friends so be it.

Milestone today! 30 lbs lost after surgery, 87.8 down since I started my weight loss in July, and I am now officially more than halfway to my goal weight! I just have to do this all one more time, haha. 😅

Also two people I work with actually commented this week that I looked like I’d lost weight. I never bring up dieting or weight loss so I was wondering how long it would take for someone to actually comment. The answer is darn near 90 lb loss!

One other piece of advice I have is that you are focusing on the all or nothing approach that isn’t going to serve you well long term. Let’s pretend you only lose 90% of your excess weight. Isn’t that a heck of a lot better than where you are at now?

I started off at over 48 BMI and 339 lbs. I had 174 lbs to lose to get to goal. I knew this was a huge amount so one thing I did to help myself was I committed early to losing weight. I lost over 50 lbs before surgery by sticking to low carb, and I just hit 90 lbs overall right after my two month surgery-versary. I’m over halfway there, with 84 lbs remaining. If you’re worried about the honeymoon, you have control over that. Start today, because every pound you lose now is weight you don’t have to lose later. And stop worrying about averages or anecdotes. You aren’t an average, you’re one person being given a tool that you can do amazing things with, or you can waste entirely. The success is about the person.