Jan N

Same! Nov 6th. I'm struggling with diet but Sunday will be very intense. But, it's the day before so I'm ready!

I have a skirt that is like that too.. I cant wait to wear it but I have a feeling it might be when it is cold so it might just be around the house..

Awesome! Yeah, Sunday is going to be nothing but anxiety for me but we got this! 👍🏾

Hello everyone!
Hi, I'm new here and I'm scheduled to undergo the VSG procedure on November 6th. Currently, on week 2 of my pre-op diet and it's going very well so far. I'm beyond excited but growing more and more nervous every day. Wishing much success to you all!

Finally! 6 months out! It definitely took me more than a minute to bounce back! My husband was worried but super supportive. He still asks how I'm feeling, if there is anything I need or that he can do for me. I have been a lucky woman... But, that being said, I struggled afterwards. Buyer's remorse for sure...pain, vomiting, meds didn't help. They kept me a couple days extra and had me back in more often than normal BUT...I did overcome. Now, I know it was the best decision ever! That little sleeve of a stomach holds me accountable. I made Cookies for my husband last night. I ate one but totally regretted it. My little stomach no longer likes sugar. Ok. I'll live alot longer without the sugar. Little stomach will still vomit if I eat too much. Ok. That's what I needed. I have lost over 70 lbs. Ok. That's what I wanted! So, I can now do a happy dance and no regrets what so ever! I will say a prayer for you that all goes well and your wife steps up. God Bless and stay the course. It truly does get better.
Jan~

Finally! 6 months out! It definitely took me more than a minute to bounce back! My husband was worried but super supportive. He still asks how I'm feeling, if there is anything I need or that he can do for me. I have been a lucky woman... But, that being said, I struggled afterwards. Buyer's remorse for sure...pain, vomiting, meds didn't help. They kept me a couple days extra and had me back in more often than normal BUT...I did overcome. Now, I know it was the best decision ever! That little sleeve of a stomach holds me accountable. I made Cookies for my husband last night. I ate one but totally regretted it. My little stomach no longer likes sugar. Ok. I'll live alot longer without the sugar. Little stomach will still vomit if I eat too much. Ok. That's what I needed. I have lost over 70 lbs. Ok. That's what I wanted! So, I can now do a happy dance and no regrets what so ever! I will say a prayer for you that all goes well and your wife steps up. God Bless and stay the course. It truly does get better.
Jan~

Get up and walk walk walk, that is the gas that they put into you to lift everything so they could do surgery. You need to move to break it down. If you move a lot it will be gone tomorrow. Keep moving and you will feel better soon!

Surgery went well. Came home this past friday. Haven't been feeling too great since then. Constant pain in my chest when I sip something. One incision on my right side hurts like hell. So I cant really bend.

I feel bad because I told her I would bounce back quickly when I got home.

On the surface, my husband wasn't thrilled with my decision. But I understand his motive--he's in bad health and I'm his caregiver, and I think he was afraid of losing me during the surgery. But it went fine, and he's more supportive, especially since he knows I should be around longer to take care of him now!
The bottom line is it's hard to fully tell why a partner might not be supportive. Sometimes you have to read between the lines...

@Provost First of all congratulations on your decision to literally change your life and health status.. I'm very sorry to hear your wife is not as supportive as you would like her to be. However you must do this for YOU . More than likely as she sees your steadfastness without resentment or anger towards her she will come around. Just continue to be nice, smile and do what you have to do.. It may take some time but just hang in there and whatever you do, Do NOT host a pity party . just follow the surgeon and nutritionist instructions to the letter and you will have excellent results... Men lose so much faster and astonishing than women. Max out with the Protein requirements and Water intake . Worry about the other skin issues when and if the time comes.. Save some money in the next year or so just in case and if not then knock yourself out with a total new wardrobe /car . lol .Good luck and God speed to a quick recovery in your fast approaching surgery...… keep in touch here on the forum....

My wife is also not supportive at all, maybe not to the extent of yours... no threats of divorce.

She is slowly coming around since I have made it clear that I am doing it (surgery is March 16th). I even had to arrange a friend to care for me when I got out of the hospital when she said she wouldn't do it (I think because it is a requirement to have someone watch you for the first couple days, she thought it was a way to stop it from happening).

I am not sure what is behind it, she struggles with weight as well and maybe she thinks she will be left behind or something. We have young kids and I just want to be able to be more active with them. I can't do things like to to the fairs and go on rides with them because I don't fit, I can't go canoeing or things they are starting to want to do.

Awww cool! As a nurse maybe she concentrated on all the stuff that could go wrong. Now, she has researched. It was the best decision even with getting GERD.

I walk, run and play. Your turn in a few months. Kiss her as you go into the operating room. Tell her you will be right back! Then do just that and kiss her again!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using BariatricPal mobile app

For those following this post, I'm scheduled tomorrow for surgery. Shes been pretty quiet the last week but I came home and she gave me this so i think shes coming around.

My wife wasn't supportive of me having WLS surgery either in the early rounds, but she warmed up to it. She was scared of losing her bad-habit-eating buddy.
Now, believe it or not, she enjoys many of the leaner meals I cook up for us. And of course she is loving a leaner husband!

Married people share a life but they still have separate journey's. Your journey is important and it's even more important that you are healthy for that baby. You gonna be one busy papa! Try to sit and talk with her and make he understand this is a healthy choice. She may just be scared. Congrats on the baby! You got this! I even suggest therapy if you can because you need to get to the root of the issue and address it so your relationship can thrive.

So sorry. I’m a nurse and feel so much better after surgery. Not to make her feel uneducated but maybe if she did know more of the facts about BariatricPal surgery that would help her. Nursing is such a broad field that none of us can be experts in all areas. I’m sure she’s concerned about things such as complications or some worry their spouse will leave them if they lose weight. I would try to explain the medical reasons such as sleep apnea, blood pressure, arthritis, wear and tear on joints etc, risk for stroke or heart attack and that with a baby coming you want to be your healthiest self for both of them. Good luck

I can't even imagine going through this alone. I guess I would explained to her and ask her to come to your preop appointment. Give her the pamphlets you've gotten from the surgeon. You're pretty close to surgery date so I imagine you've already started the "weird" food because liquid diet.
You're definitely going to need the support from someone after the surgery, hopefully it's your wife. Wow being in the medical field I would think she would know it's not a scam, but a tool to help with weight loss especially when you're a loss of what else to do.
Good Luck 🍀

Open and equal channels of communication with your Spouse is the foundation of a successful relationship. If you did not keep her “in the loop” during your decision process, then I can’t blame her for being upset. I would think that with the pregnancy in the picture she may be upset and/or worried that there may be complications and she is worried about what would happen if a worst-case scenario comes into play.
My Spouse has been involved in all decisions I make concerning my health and I am involved in all her health related decisions. In 2016 I had full right hip replacement surgery, a week before my schedule hospital stay I sat down with her and outlined exactly what she needs to do “IF” a worst-case scenario came into play. This pre-surgery discussion included location of financial paperwork, insurance documentation and a checklist of what she needs to do if something unexpected happens.
The mortality rate for bariatric surgery is VERY low yet I plan on having the same conversation with the wife whenever I have a confirmed surgery date.

All I have to say is-
your body, your choice. She can either support you or leave you. The having to make you choose between her and surgery is a manipulative behavior and it’s not healthy. If you feel that surgery is the tool you need to be healthier then you have to do what’s right for you.

ETA- if your wife’s biggest concern is the weird food assure her that it’s not weird aside from some Protein Shakes and the pre-op diet they have you do. Although you probably won’t be eating a bunch of rice, Pasta, or bread anymore. I eat what I make my kids for dinner all the time- chicken stirfry, veggie lasagna, baked chicken and mashed potatoes, and even oatmeal. Sure it’s not the same amount as them or like before but I don’t have to cook a bunch of extra meals separate which is awesome.

Does she make your meals now? Maybe she doesn’t want to have to do a lot of extra work and doesn’t know how? I do think the larger fear is that you will get more attractive and leave her. Or that you won’t eat your favorite foods together anymore.

This is pretty easy to resolve. You prepare your own food at first. Then later you can still go out to nice dinners, you’ll just eat less.

But I don’t think threatening divorce is ever fighting fair. Each person has to do what’s right for them. If you could bring her to a support meeting, a meeting with your dietician, or something, I think that would curtail her fears about the actual procedure.

That is totally a bully poop reason, We all eat normal food, Like tripe and lamb fries - (Inside forum joke) So she is way off there.
I say just procede ahead and try and educate her on the real story. Kinda Hard to argue this one
Honey i just want to be healthy and fit so i can live longer, When i said death due us part i did not plan on speeding up the death time due to being obese! FYI i will eat normal food but smaller portions

The nurse two doors away had the surgery so she would be healthy for her grandkids, my son and DIL both nurses supported me, I had the surgery done 6 months ago and would never go back. It seems like you two may need some counseling to see what the real issues are, support from those around you is important. Good luck on your journey.

Like I said, find out what she is afraid of... she is afraid of something. It might be that you will get skinny and leave her. She might be afraid because she is ill-informed. Weird food? Well, that is a "cover-up the real fear" excuse if I ever heard one.

I dont think shes afraid of me dying. I asked her why she was against it and the only thing she could say was she doesnt want to have to deal with me eating weird food? Honestly if that's really her reason then I'll divorce her myself

I would sleep with a eye open! But back to the facts - Whoever told her this is a scam is a fat person that could not afford it or stay on course.
As a male speaking from my own experience, you will shred the weight and most importantly you will be healthy and feel much better. This sounds cold and I am sure some females will jump down my ass about this, but this is your decision and her input is appreciated but irrelevant. Only you have to decide this - It is not her journey so why others stick there to sense into it is beyond me, and to threaten divorce!
Ask her nicely if she would wait to divorce you till you are thin, that way you are healthy and happy! That should get her attention!
Bottom line you make the decision but i can tell you that the members here have lost 5,210,466 pounds Look to the left at the bottom. So if WLS was a scam how did it get to 5 million plus pounds.
Congrads on the new baby and Is you wife large also? If so she may be jealous of the surgery and insecure of the procedure