Cuppa

Not making the time for myself is what got me to 300 pounds in the first place. Never again. All the gym work I do is to support my fencing - I've set a goal to try to qualify for the women's national team for my age group when I'm in my 60s. My first shot will be in 4 years. I plan to fence at least 2 tournaments a month this season, starting in September - my husband will be running the Navy Half Marathon in DC (he's lost 60 pounds on this journey with me) and the day before his race I'll fence an event in Falls Church, Va. In April, he came to a National tournament with me in Richmond and ran a half marathon that weekend. This has become our recreation. (It helps that we have one kid in college away from home and the other is now high school age and pretty self sufficient and doesn't mind late dinners.)

I am so glad you made this post! I was wondering about my own caloric intake and if it was enough. I'm averaging just over 500/day. I know most surgeons tell you to eat every four hours but frankly I'm not hungry enough to do that! To me, eating when I'm not hungry is what got me into trouble in the first place!😀

I am so glad you made this post! I was wondering about my own caloric intake and if it was enough. I'm averaging just over 500/day. I know most surgeons tell you to eat every four hours but frankly I'm not hungry enough to do that! To me, eating when I'm not hungry is what got me into trouble in the first place!😀

I am so glad you made this post! I was wondering about my own caloric intake and if it was enough. I'm averaging just over 500/day. I know most surgeons tell you to eat every four hours but frankly I'm not hungry enough to do that! To me, eating when I'm not hungry is what got me into trouble in the first place!😀

I am so glad you made this post! I was wondering about my own caloric intake and if it was enough. I'm averaging just over 500/day. I know most surgeons tell you to eat every four hours but frankly I'm not hungry enough to do that! To me, eating when I'm not hungry is what got me into trouble in the first place!😀

I am so glad you made this post! I was wondering about my own caloric intake and if it was enough. I'm averaging just over 500/day. I know most surgeons tell you to eat every four hours but frankly I'm not hungry enough to do that! To me, eating when I'm not hungry is what got me into trouble in the first place!😀

I can only drink about four ounces at a time. Don't really want to push it into a situation where it's too much

I had watermelon around 6 weeks with no problem and it was delicious. Only about 2 chunks if I remember correctly

I like to eat out a lot. My husband was very concerned about me having the surgery because he thought he would miss our date nights.
I got the gastric sleeve nine months ago. I am still in losing mode and I eat about 1,000 calories a day. I track calories, Protein, carbs, and Water. I am also one of the very lucky ones. No complications, no dumping, etc. I'm losing a bit slowly, in part, because I'm in perimenopause.
The good news is I can eat all the foods I could before, just in much smaller quantities. I didn't drink soda before and still don't. I liked to drink alcohol before, I have cranked that way back to a special treat. I don't order dessert and rarely even feel like trying a bite. Probably the biggest change is if bread gets put on the table, I don't eat it. If I ate it, I would be about full and the show would be over.
I can eat about 5 ounces and I know I need protein to function so one of my go-to's is raw fish. I eat a lot of sashimi, tuna tartare, oysters, shrimp cocktail, lobster cocktail, etc. These seem like some of the healthiest, tastiest foods to me now. I've figured out foods I can order at ethnic restaurants like chicken Satay at Thai places. I usually order a salad with protein on it or an appetizer. So far, it's working out fine.
I do have to reassure waiters/waitresses a lot that everything was good because I didn't eat much, but I take it home and either eat it the next day or give it to the doggos.

please please please please please please
NEVER compare yourself to strangers on the internet. Your weightloss will be unique to you alone. Follow your plan. But also listen to your practitioners. IMHO expecting low and surpassing your goal can be a wonderful feeling but expecting too much and falling short may be devastating.
Good Luck 💜

Totally do-able! Here are my tips. 1) Log every bite, with calories and Protein. It is the only way you can look at trends and understand what your body is doing. 2) STICK WITH THE PROGRAM. Just do it. Don't cheat. It's not worth it. Just make up your mind to be determined in this and keep focused on the long term goal. 3) Exercise from the get-go. Get a step tracker and work toward 10,000 steps a day. I was doing this by the end of week one post op. Gradually add in other elements - stair climbing, light weights, leg exercises, stretching, swimming, biking, hiking, yoga, pilates, etc. It doesn't have to be at a gym. Set your exercise goals daily. There will be a LOT you cannot control after surgery - pain, nausea, food restriction, BUT you CAN control your exercise. I found this to be very empowering and helpful. Most research shows that people who stick with the food program AND exercise are the biggest losers who maintain the weight loss long term. You have to create a new lifestyle and it must include exercise. I am getting really toned now, with nice muscle definition in my arms and legs. This lean muscle burns more calories than fat, so it will be tremendously helpful in maintaining my goal weight. 4) Give up your addictions NOW - before surgery. recovery is hard enough without going through withdrawal as well. Sugar, simple carbs, alcohol, soda, caffeine. No matter what anyone says, flirting around with this stuff only undermines your longterm success. There is no reason to ever eat sugar again. It jacks your insulin up, which results in fat STORAGE, not fat burning, and creates cravings. Alcohol messes with your gut lining and can cause gastritis, ulcers, and erosion - even years after surgery. Besides, the empty calories are just not worth it. Without sugar and caffeine, my energy levels are higher than ever and constant throughout the day - no slumps. 5) Start focusing on unprocessed, whole foods. This is what you should be eating for life. If it comes in a box, don't eat it. Down the road when you can start adding carbs back in, make them whole cooked grains like quinoa, brown rice, teff, steel cut oats, amaranth, millet, sorghum, legumes like Beans and lentils- not processed flours which absorb quickly and jack up insulin. Avoid wheat and corn as much as possible - they are the worst for raising insulin levels. Learn to love veggies when you can start having them. 6) Develop some mantras to get through tough situations. Mine are: "I AM NEVER GOING BACK!" "IT'S JUST NOT WORTH IT!" (When tempted by some treat or bite.) "I CAN'T HAVE THAT NOW, BUT I WILL HAVE IT LATER." (Foods will come back, gradually - just not right away. You WILL have versions of your favorite foods again, but you have to be patient.) 7) Above all - you must look forward to a new life that you will LOVE. Look at all the challenges as just another chapter in this new adventure. Stay positive about the changes you are making. Don't look at this as deprivation, but rather as a whole new you that is going to emerge as a beautiful butterfly. It is going to be hard sometimes, no doubt. But just the fact that you are asking this question shows that you are serious about making the changes and wanting the very best outcome. It takes tremendous effort - it really does. "There ain't no such thing as a free lunch" here. WLS is only a tool - it will help get a lot of weight off, but YOU have to do the rest. Go into this with fixed determination and you will be fine.

I really appreciate your perspective. Loose skin does seem to be something a lot of us newbies spend a lot of time thinking about. I have decided to wait at least a year after I reach goal to decide if I want any kind of surgery. That will give my brain time to catch up with my body. It probably just won't matter then. Losing the weight and getting my life back is a much higher priority in the grand scheme of things.

Well, I might try killing it with kindness.
Tell your Mom that you are so excited right now to be on the same journey she went on two years ago. Explain to her that she has been SUCH an inspiration to you, that HER weightloss has been very motivating and that you are proud of HER. Tell her how much you admire the choice(S) she made to get healthy, and that it helped you want to get there too.
THEN flip the switch a bit and ask for her help. Tell her you need her support in this, not just for you but for her Granddaughter. Be honest and explain that these food items, while awesome and made with love, are just not good for you now. Ask if she will help you find healthy alternatives. Tell her you need her to put those awesome cooking skills to work in ways that will help you succeed. Maybe even ask if she will cook WITH you, if that is something you would like.
Moms love to be needed, and nothing is better than helping your "baby". If she sees herself as your role model and has a way to help you it may work for you both. You get real support and healthy food. She gets to feel needed, admired and, if she is backsliding into bad food choices, a great reason to stay on a better path. 💙

I don't see this as intentional sabotage.
I have someone in my life who has difficulty showing affection and they use food to show me they care. Is it possible that this is what your mother is doing? You said she's a fantastic cook and baker.
Maybe you need to have a heart-to-heart with your mom. Reassure her that you know she loves you, but that right now you need her support in other ways.

So sorry you are going through this. Sounds like he is experiencing a lot of anxiety/depression but doesn't know how to work through it except by being passive/aggressive toward you and hurting himself. If he won't see a counsellor, maybe you can go by yourself to learn how to deal with this. You are becoming a new person, but you sure didn't expect hubby to become a new person, too, in the worst way. I really feel for you. I bet others have had unexpected reactions from their spouses as well. It's almost as if he sees you taking control of your life and making amazing changes and this somehow threatens him because now HE is the vulnerable one and now HIS issues look even more magnified. Please consider seeing someone for YOU! And hang in there! Don't let his behavior undermine your success and your new journey.

BlueAngelEyes,
I am so sorry you have family members who are undermining your success. For some reason they want you to fail, or else they think THEY will be embarrassed if you gain the weight back! Please try to find one or two friends you can TRUST to have your best interests in mind and who will support you. Being said, I have found that even my few close friends who know about my surgery really don't want to hear about it every day. They like to know I'm losing, but not totally into hearing me out about struggles. That is where this forum is so good.
Exercise has a couple of really good benefits after surgery. First (maybe the most important), it gives YOU control. You cannot know what your pain will be like or what your food tolerances will be, how long it will take to progress from stage to stage, what your emotional fluctuations will be like, how your healing will progress, or if your weight will come off slowly or quickly. You have no control over those things. BUT.. you CAN have true control over exercise goals. It gives such a sense of accomplishment and empowerment, and helps divert the tendency to form new addictions. Exercise can become your new obsession/addiction (a lot better than buying shoes, drinking, or gambling!)
Get yourself an inexpensive step tracker. I think mine cost $29 on Amazon. It is a highly motivating little friend. Start wearing it now to see what your baseline is. Work up to 10,000 steps a day. After surgery, start right up with walking, walking, walking. Get up to 10,000 steps as soon as you can do so comfortably. (Several of us here were up to 10,000 by the end of week 2.) Start taking a walk every single day. As the weight comes off, you will go further and faster. It's just amazing to see progress. I also started wall pushups 3 times a day. Started at 25 per set, and now do 50 per set. Later, I got 3 pound weights and started an upper body strengthening routine. I also incorporated stair climbing. Anyway, exercise is such a great tool for your MIND as well as your body. It will reduce depression and anxiety, as well. You start out with small goals, and track them daily - just like your food.
Exercise also helps you set up a pattern of activity that you can maintain for the rest of your life. You have to make major changes in your diet and lifestyle if you are going to keep the weight off. You have a wonderful took with WLS, BUT after the "Honeymoon" period (a year, give or take), hunger can come back and restriction will not be so noticeable. You HAVE to have your lifestyle, dietary, and mental habits in place and well established if you want to succeed longterm. (I HAVE done the research and this is what everyone says.)
OK, for diet - start making modifications NOW. GIve up the addictions you can't have after surgery. I think this is another key to feeling better after surgery. Surgery and recovery is hard enough by itself. You don't need to be going through withdrawal at the same time! For me, that meant caffeine, sugar, soda, all processed food, anything artificial. (My goal was to make every bite post-op, and for the rest of my life as nutritionally dense and healthy as possible.) Of course, smoking and alcohol would be in there, too. I saw how much better I felt, and again, it gave me control. Even in the hospital, I did not eat the Jello or weird Protein supplement that was full of artificial sweetener/ flavors. I had herbal tea, broth, and my own Protein Shake that I knew I liked. That was just fine. I was the first one of the surgery group that day who was out of bed and walking!
Soooo...….. in my opinion, you have 2 things to focus on - your diet, of course, Getting your fluids and protein in will be the first goals. But exercise can start on day one. It will help prevent complications, boost your metabolism, give you more energy, help beat depression/anxiety, give you control and empowerment, and set you up for long term success. I promise that you will have struggles with eating. Everyone does. A LOT of your focus and frustration will revolve around eating. Exercise is actually a lot easier in the sense that it is predicatable and controllable. It helps you feel positive about SOMETHING, even on the worst of days.
Above all, don't listen to the naysayers. They are already experts on WLS, right? You have to take control over YOU, in spite of what any one else says. Surgery is for YOU - not for them. Stick with the forum support. We are all here for you.

You are right, no one needs a food cop (especially if they have no education or experience to bring). WLS patients need to be accountable to themselves because that is where it matters, no one else can do it for you. You have to trust yourself. Do you need someone to tell you to brush your teeth or take a shower? Are you 10 years old?
Everyone knows what to eat, and everyone must learn to navigate the journey.

Look out don't eat that while we SCOFF down pizzas and coke and chips...LOL

I am sooooo glad I told no one except my husband, 2 adult kids, my brother and a nurse I needed to change work days with, and she was sworn to confidentiality. I didn't even tell my own parents. I needed a small group that I knew would be supportive and not judgmental - people who have seen my struggle over the years and would stand beside me in this surgery.
What I am really getting tired of is people continually coming up to me and asking what I did to lose the weight. Why is MY weight loss their business????? I tell them that I have made some major lifestyle changes in diet and exercise, which is perfectly true. If they ask for specifics, I tell them, "No wheat, no sugar, no caffeine, no soda (diet or regular), no juice, no alcohol, no processed food, no artificial colors/sweetners/flavors, intermittant fasting, and a lot more exercise." Their eyes glaze over either with the sugar or the alcohol. NOT A SINGLE PERSON HAS ASKED ANY FURTHER - THEY WALK OFF. EVERYONE WANTS A MAGIC PILL. If there was an obese person who was sincerely looking for answers and was willing to start making serious lifestyle changes, I might consider offering WLS as a suggestion to investigate. But I have not seen that person yet. It makes me realize that we here are a very small group of brave, courageous individuals who truly are willing to put it all down, make the sacrifices, and do the hard work for lifelong changes and health. We are few, I believe, when considering the general population.

I am so glad you made this post! I was wondering about my own caloric intake and if it was enough. I'm averaging just over 500/day. I know most surgeons tell you to eat every four hours but frankly I'm not hungry enough to do that! To me, eating when I'm not hungry is what got me into trouble in the first place!😀

Another day, another Icelandic breakfast 😂

I will simply echo others that have responded to this post. The first week is always tough and you much understand that you just went through surgery! Unfortunately, you can't just bounce right up and be 100% healed the next day. Cut yourself some slack and realise your body is now set about the task of healing and figuring out how to unlearn what it has learned over the years.
I still have issues a month out from surgery, where my body reminds me to slow down eating or to pay attention to the new cues I have that tell me enough is enough! Walking has become my new best friend and it's an awesome start to being active for the rest of my life.
Please be assured that each day, your body is adjusting to the new anatomy and it will get easier-- I promise you.
But to answer your question about regret..... NEVER!

I will simply echo others that have responded to this post. The first week is always tough and you much understand that you just went through surgery! Unfortunately, you can't just bounce right up and be 100% healed the next day. Cut yourself some slack and realise your body is now set about the task of healing and figuring out how to unlearn what it has learned over the years.
I still have issues a month out from surgery, where my body reminds me to slow down eating or to pay attention to the new cues I have that tell me enough is enough! Walking has become my new best friend and it's an awesome start to being active for the rest of my life.
Please be assured that each day, your body is adjusting to the new anatomy and it will get easier-- I promise you.
But to answer your question about regret..... NEVER!

I do not care for my surgeon as a person, but as a surgeon I know he's well-qualified. Obviously, it would be great to have a surgeon that didn't talk and behave like an ass, but if you're willing to overlook his bedside shortcomings in exchange for a competent surgeon, then feel confident that you made a good decision.
Do I find your surgeon's comments inappropriate and sexist? Absolutely. Would I have wished that I had the perfect comeback when he made his disparaging remarks about women who want to build healthy muscle? Absolutely. My guess is that you're mainly peeved because he got away with saying what he said, and you weren't able (out of sheer disbelief perhaps) to challenge his asshattery. Instead of being able to express yourself fully with him, your only outlet (and a less satisfying outlet) is to vent here.
I doubt if I'm alone as a woman in feeling hesitant to speak up for myself. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I often "flew away". It took years of therapy before I could rid myself of that shame.
In some ways, I was conditioned, as are many women, to be shrinking violets. There's also the issue of status involved in your case. We've been taught to respect certain professionals, doctors included. So, here you are confronted by a male doctor who completely caught you off-guard by basically equating unattractiveness with muscles. Heck, we're already fat and feeling bad about that, now to be told that to build muscle is unfeminine. Wow. Imagine paying an insurance co-pay to hear all this crap.
It's important for you to be a strong self-advocate. You are taking a life-changing step with weight-loss surgery, so why stop there? For your own self-respect, I'd politely but firmly revisit this conversation by letting him know that you were offended by his views on women who lift weights and press him about whether there is a medical reason for you to not lift weights or if this was just his subjective view.
If you read my profile statement, you'll discover that I had a negative hospital experience with my doctor. Yes, I vented like crazy here and elsewhere, but as soon as I saw my surgeon at my first follow-up appointment walking down the hall (I was actually supposed to see a nurse practitioner for this visit), I approached him with confidence, touched his arm, and said, "Dr. S---, I am not very happy with you. In fact, I'm very disappointed." He was so taken off-guard by my bluntness that he escorted me into the exam room and spent 45 minutes worth of damage control on me. You can imagine the bewilderment of the nurse when she walked in and he was with me. She probably thought she was the one in trouble. The point is, I took back some of the dignity that I felt had been taken from me previously.
Yes, it was "just" a statement about muscles, but where do you draw the line? You wouldn't be here venting if it didn't bother the becheezits out of you.
Believe me, you'll feel better about yourself for at least trying to stand up for yourself. It might not go over well, maybe you feel clumsy getting out your words, but it's better than saying nothing. Practice self-advocacy until it becomes second nature. The older I get, the easier it's becoming. When you don't speak up for yourself, you are essentially giving the other person the power and permission to put you down.

We lost our Fat Layer, we lost our insulation, we are now at the mercy of every strong breeze! Please Elmer, don't breathe on ME, you're giving me Goosebumps!