jg7979

When insurance added coverage…

When insurance added coverage…

Try Unjury.com chicken Soup or chili flavors. The thick texture and sweetness bothered me after surgery, but I could handle chicken soup.

Try Unjury.com chicken Soup or chili flavors. The thick texture and sweetness bothered me after surgery, but I could handle chicken soup.

Try Unjury.com chicken Soup or chili flavors. The thick texture and sweetness bothered me after surgery, but I could handle chicken soup.

It seems to me like she might just have a personal preference due to what ingredients she might think are unsavory in the Premier? That's odd. Premier are pretty popular among the bariatric community.

Daily...before I pee...after I pee...before I poop...after I poop! It's all for science of course!!! LOL!!!

@AngieBear @jg7979 I appreciate your responses more than you know. I figure I’m honest with myself so why not be honest out loud to my loved ones. I’m going to try and push out of my confront zone. It’s 2020 and I just turned 30. No better time to start than now I suppose!

No, I’m sorry it doesn’t. Crying out for help involves wanting help, I don’t think you want help. You’ve declared many, many times in many many ways on this forum how unhappy you are, how much you regret having surgery and how somehow after a whole 2 months you’ve decided that it didn’t work.
We get it, you hate it, you seem to enjoy complaining rather than listening to people who take the time, effort and their personal experiences to try and help you. You self declared/diagnosed that this surgery didn’t work for you. You believe that 2 months and 14 pounds later.
*The surgery is working, you’re just uncomfortable.
Someone mentioned therapy earlier to you and your response was something like: “That would be like spitting in the wind” (not verbatim)
Why are you spitting in the wind here?
There are a lot of people that had their surgeries canceled due to Covid, are heartbroken and would trade places with you in a heartbeat.
You gave up from the start. You don’t need permission or an excuse to fail at this, and you certainly won’t get it here.

For those I keep at a distance, I just said I was taking Medical LOA and left it at that. I usually had to add that I was fine but would have difficulty lifting/walking, so it was best to stay home because I would be tempted to resume normal duties too early. If it was somebody I had no relationship with, I would say I was taking a staycation to use up PTO.

Now when people ask, I tell them I cut out fast food, added sugars and got my stomach stapled. It throws them off for a second but then they (we) chuckle. The results have been too dramatic for diet and exercise alone to be believable.

The only reason I’m not always honest about it now is because there are days when I am tired of talking about it/myself —my weight, the surgery, the changes etc etc. As an introvert it is draining.

There are definitely people who will have something negative to say, but it is either ignorance or insecurity and you can tell pretty quickly which category they fall into. The ignorant can be educated, but It isn’t your responsibility to fight/internalize their emotional dysphoria. Just smile and walk away... it sounds like Charlie Browns teacher to me.

For those I keep at a distance, I just said I was taking Medical LOA and left it at that. I usually had to add that I was fine but would have difficulty lifting/walking, so it was best to stay home because I would be tempted to resume normal duties too early. If it was somebody I had no relationship with, I would say I was taking a staycation to use up PTO.

Now when people ask, I tell them I cut out fast food, added sugars and got my stomach stapled. It throws them off for a second but then they (we) chuckle. The results have been too dramatic for diet and exercise alone to be believable.

The only reason I’m not always honest about it now is because there are days when I am tired of talking about it/myself —my weight, the surgery, the changes etc etc. As an introvert it is draining.

There are definitely people who will have something negative to say, but it is either ignorance or insecurity and you can tell pretty quickly which category they fall into. The ignorant can be educated, but It isn’t your responsibility to fight/internalize their emotional dysphoria. Just smile and walk away... it sounds like Charlie Browns teacher to me.

Honest advise?
Similar situations for me, making excuses to avoid being around friends, families and others due to my excessive weight.
At first, I also felt "guilty" until I learned the excuses I made to friends and family were simply lies. The reality was the guilty feelings I was experiencing where more related to what I call the "self-preservation mode to avoid embarrassment and shame". Why did I feel embarrassment and shammed, I can probably write half a book just on that topic alone. There is a good write up in Psychology Today that discusses the similarity between feelings of Guilt, Embarrassment and Shame, I would say it's recommended reading for those who are morbid obese.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-pathways-experience/201709/embarrassment-guilt-and-shame
Battling excessive weight goes far beyond "eating less and excising more", there are many Psychological related factors that MUST be addressed or your chances of successfully loosing weight and keeping it off will be reduced substantially. The lies, specifically to yourself have to stop. Perhaps if you told your friend the REAL reason why you did not want to participate they would be more understanding to your weight situation? And if they are not, I would say perhaps it time to surround yourself with new friends.
When you say "I feel like no one can relate", I find that hard to believe, this forum is FULL of people who can probably relate to your situation in one form or another. You have already taken the first step by posting your message, never be afraid of asking for help, within this format or professionally.

You are certainly not alone... I’ve skipped reunions and made endless excuses to avoid seeing friends from the past in person. It’s a tough place to be mentally and it sucks feeling stuck there.

I withdrew from friends and family and used work as an excuse to always be unavailable. But really I was ashamed and embarrassed—sometimes for no other reason than I didn’t have something appropriate to wear and didn’t have time/energy to go to the big and tall store on the other side of town.

Just last week I went to a friend’s birthday party—I had
not seen her in 7-8 years. As the day approached, I grew more anxious and started thinking about ways out, but I forced myself to go, and I am so glad I did. My weight was briefly discussed and we resumed where we left off and it was a great time. One small step toward changing a negative thought pattern and digging out of the rut....

Vulnerability and honestly have served me well on this journey (I probably read too much Brené Brown lol). Clearing one’s conscience is rewarding, and you might realize the script you have written inside your mind isn’t reflective of reality.

You are certainly not alone... I’ve skipped reunions and made endless excuses to avoid seeing friends from the past in person. It’s a tough place to be mentally and it sucks feeling stuck there.

I withdrew from friends and family and used work as an excuse to always be unavailable. But really I was ashamed and embarrassed—sometimes for no other reason than I didn’t have something appropriate to wear and didn’t have time/energy to go to the big and tall store on the other side of town.

Just last week I went to a friend’s birthday party—I had
not seen her in 7-8 years. As the day approached, I grew more anxious and started thinking about ways out, but I forced myself to go, and I am so glad I did. My weight was briefly discussed and we resumed where we left off and it was a great time. One small step toward changing a negative thought pattern and digging out of the rut....

Vulnerability and honestly have served me well on this journey (I probably read too much Brené Brown lol). Clearing one’s conscience is rewarding, and you might realize the script you have written inside your mind isn’t reflective of reality.

Disclaimer: I’m a bit socially awkward to begin with. But you will start to notice people noticing you (if you know what I mean). And it is puzzling at first until you remember that your not in the same body anymore. Your mind takes longer to catch up to the weight loss.

Not a bad thing, but people in general will respond more positively to you. I don’t know if it is a function of fat bias or changes in self esteem/confidence, but I definitely noticed a change.

That I would look really good with clothes on, but not so great with clothes off.

At almost 9 months (and post xmas family time) post op, I am ready for everyone to STFU about my body. Fortunately, my cousin had it done the week before I did, so that helped diffuse the attention from the extended family.
I got to hear it all though...I look great, more attractive, older, tired, too skinny, etc. Then the questions/judgements about saggy skin, exercise plans, and my eating habits.... I don't eat right. I need to exercise more. I don't eat the right things. And everybody knows somebody that had it done and gained it all back.
People (friends and family included) need to stop projecting their issues/insecurities on me. I'm not sorry that you have to run miles everyday and I don't (yet)...you don't know my struggle so stop trying to tell me what I should be doing.
It was refreshing to have a little extra attention in the first few months and actually have people interested in the process and what I was going through. But now... I'm over it!
I just want to return to being the introvert that I am and get on with my life...

@jg7979 hang in there. I am 16 months post op, maintaining my weight loss and the comments have slowed to a trickle. No one said anything at my family Christmas get-together, which was fine by me!

At almost 9 months (and post xmas family time) post op, I am ready for everyone to STFU about my body. Fortunately, my cousin had it done the week before I did, so that helped diffuse the attention from the extended family.
I got to hear it all though...I look great, more attractive, older, tired, too skinny, etc. Then the questions/judgements about saggy skin, exercise plans, and my eating habits.... I don't eat right. I need to exercise more. I don't eat the right things. And everybody knows somebody that had it done and gained it all back.
People (friends and family included) need to stop projecting their issues/insecurities on me. I'm not sorry that you have to run miles everyday and I don't (yet)...you don't know my struggle so stop trying to tell me what I should be doing.
It was refreshing to have a little extra attention in the first few months and actually have people interested in the process and what I was going through. But now... I'm over it!
I just want to return to being the introvert that I am and get on with my life...

So many people think they will look too thin at normal weight because being overweight is so normal that we have forgotten what normal weight should look like.

Meal prep is most helpful strategy for me. It might help to put the time on your calendar to map out the next few day's or the week's meals--self-care time time. I also developed a meal time routine and three of my four meals are essentially the same every day.
Instacart will deliver roasted chickens and a salad kit from the grocery store when I need something quick, and I also subscribed to Freshly (each meal is really two servings). There are similar services that do Keto and low carb as well. As part of supporting your weight loss, you might try encouraging the family to eat the healthier options you make for yourself--just make it the new normal and not some strange diet plan.
There is a lot more time planning and thinking about my next meal now to avoid falling back into bad habits, and I toss a ton of food in the garbage (or spend extra buying the small portion packs anyway) too. My challenge was breaking the mindset that food brings pleasure and getting used to chicken and eggs. As I accepted the food is just fuel, the monotony was less frustrating, but there are still days I feel like I am going to lose my mind.
One of the counselors I work with made it click for me though. He said I am fighting a lifetime of habits and conditioning that made me obese, and this a very abrupt change to your whole being. It is a new journey and you have to keep reminding yourself that your negative emotions are likely triggered by your mind wanting to pull you back into those habits that led to obesity.

Meal prep is most helpful strategy for me. It might help to put the time on your calendar to map out the next few day's or the week's meals--self-care time time. I also developed a meal time routine and three of my four meals are essentially the same every day.
Instacart will deliver roasted chickens and a salad kit from the grocery store when I need something quick, and I also subscribed to Freshly (each meal is really two servings). There are similar services that do Keto and low carb as well. As part of supporting your weight loss, you might try encouraging the family to eat the healthier options you make for yourself--just make it the new normal and not some strange diet plan.
There is a lot more time planning and thinking about my next meal now to avoid falling back into bad habits, and I toss a ton of food in the garbage (or spend extra buying the small portion packs anyway) too. My challenge was breaking the mindset that food brings pleasure and getting used to chicken and eggs. As I accepted the food is just fuel, the monotony was less frustrating, but there are still days I feel like I am going to lose my mind.
One of the counselors I work with made it click for me though. He said I am fighting a lifetime of habits and conditioning that made me obese, and this a very abrupt change to your whole being. It is a new journey and you have to keep reminding yourself that your negative emotions are likely triggered by your mind wanting to pull you back into those habits that led to obesity.

I followed the directions of my surgeon and the dietician pretty strictly in the beginning, and at my 6 month post op, they both commented that it was not typical. And since anything sweet or starchy seems to make me sick still, I have not went back to old habits.
I have a job that keeps me moving most of the day too--nothing strenuous-- just walking between buildings on campus. I do a lot of routine emailing/texting from my phone while walking. instead of my desk. Four Protein centric meals and a shake each day and avoid snacking (though I discovered freeze dried apples recently).

I followed the directions of my surgeon and the dietician pretty strictly in the beginning, and at my 6 month post op, they both commented that it was not typical. And since anything sweet or starchy seems to make me sick still, I have not went back to old habits.
I have a job that keeps me moving most of the day too--nothing strenuous-- just walking between buildings on campus. I do a lot of routine emailing/texting from my phone while walking. instead of my desk. Four Protein centric meals and a shake each day and avoid snacking (though I discovered freeze dried apples recently).

I use Decaf instant crystals to flavor Protein Shakes. I was told that it is caffeine that should be avoided--though the acidity of coffee can cause stomach upset.