CyndieRI

In three years she will have gained all her weight back most likely. Let her eat her cake now and drink her wine. Those habits won’t get you very far long term.
Do not be jealous. Under a year out most people can eat whatever and still lose weight.
Follow your own diet and stick to the right program for long term success.

I dont think you are being irrational at all and you are most definitely NOT a loser. It is she that should be jealous of you and your self control cause she obviously has none and in the end that is going to come back and bite her in the ass. And for those people commenting, ignore them. They have no idea how differently people lose and this isn't their journey. They will never understand. You just keep doing the right thing and in the end it will be you who has the success!

Good Morning! I need a bit of a dose of reality from you guys, and I would really appreciate some feedback.

I work in an office with a girl who went to the same surgeon I did. We had our surgeries done about 2 months apart, me first and hers second. I know she's still in the honeymoon phase (and maybe I am too, I'm less than a year out), but she eats SO MUCH more than I can and eats SO MUCH that I can't.
We talk often about foods we can and can't eat. She recommended eating sweetened condensed milk because it "slides down", talks about how she can polish a whole bottle of wine off on her own nightly and eats fried chicken sliders multiple times a week. She still eats french fries, ice cream, cake, Cookies and chips.
I'm not looking to change her behavior, I know that's not possible nor is that my problem. My issue is that because she's a lighter weight than I was starting, she's visibly lost more weight than me and people in the office are commenting. If I pass on a piece of cake, they say I shouldn't because "well SHE'S having one!" and while I don't listen, it makes my life harder.
Admittedly I'm jealous that she seems to be putting very little effort in and seems to be doing well. I am not undermining my own progress, I've lost 120 pounds so far, and 90 alone from surgery. I have completely overhauled my diet and life. But I am still jealous of her ability to eat whatever and still lose weight.
I know in rational Beanie-Brain that she is not set up for success and that makes me sad, but it doesn't change how I feel about this. Someone please tell me that I'm not a loser for refusing all cake and candy in my office and that my emotions are irrational?

@Hrsnjs I'm real mad at that surgeon, who is not only an a*****e but wrong. We all lose at different rates. We all have different metabolisms. Some of us have more active thyroids than others. If you lost a lot of weight pre-op, maybe that slowed your metabolism down a little bit, compared to someone who didn't, you know?
At my six week I was only down (checking my notes) 20, and I started at a higher weight than you and lost less weight pre-op. 30 pounds, given your starting weight, is a totally unreasonable goal -- not to say nobody ever manages it, but anyone who does should really count themselves lucky!
I wonder if he screwed up and assumed you'd had RNY instead of sleeve. They do lose a little faster at the outset.

He's a jerk. You know what they call the guy who graduates at the bottom of his class in med school? Doctor.
ALSO the same thing happened to me in Weight Watchers. I lost ONE lb. the first week because I had already lost about 70 lbs, and my weight loss had slowed. The leader said she was disappointed in me and I reported her to corporate.

I’m sorry he made you feel that way! I know it’s hard, but try not to let it get to you and keep up the great work! As long as your surgeon was happy with your results, I’d focus on that. Everyone’s body is different!

Ok so o had my six week checkup today and saw the other surgeon in the practice (mine was out of the country for a family emergency). I was feeling good! He asked me a bunch of questions and then after all of the answers, he basically told me that I had to be lying because I should have lost 30 pounds by now and it's only been 16. I feel like a failure. I'm getting (shooting for) 600 calories a day... realistically I'm averaging around 700. This doctor told me that I had to be taking in 2000 calories a day to not be losing more than I am. I feel deflated and like I've failed. I tried to explain what I was doing and he said he wasn't there to negotiate my diet and that only I know the truth. I mean I lost 80+ pounds on my own before surgery using a low carb diet, I know HOW to do this. I did have a small sliver of pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving. But come on, that hasn't cut my weight loss in half. I will be glad to see my own surgeon again in six more weeks. I saw him last week and he was pretty happy with my loss up to then. Then I talk to this guy. Feeling very defeated.

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I would call your NUT for sure! She may have some good insight for you. I feel like she could give you personalized information.
My team has me on 3 meals & 2 Snacks a day. With Protein & Water goals and fat, sugar, and carb limits, as well as foods not to eat. No calorie limitations. When you eat within those limitations, the calories naturally follow. My team gives everyone individual protein goals based on their stats.
I lost fast in my first 4 weeks as well but I have been in a 2 week stall. I meet with my team on Friday. I’m expecting them to tell me to increase my protein & water but stay the course.

I'm hoping that losing slowly means my skin will have more chance to adjust. I'd also love to know if slow losers get to goal too.

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I was attending one of my group sessions last week and a person who had had a gastric sleeve two years ago spoke at the meeting. The person said the first nine months were a dream come true with a weight loss of 125 lbs and reaching goal. This person went on to state that taking the weight off went pretty much to the surgeons plan. At first, this person measured and weighed all foods, made sure to eat Proteins first and did not mix Water with food and did moderate exercise such as parking the car away from the building and walking the stairs. By the one year mark old habits started to creep back. The need to eat processed foods and Snacks came back. Why? Because goal weight was met and because it was so easy to lose the weight. This person thought that snacking and eating off plan would be counterbalanced by more rapid weight loss. Well, as the pounds crept back getting them off wasn't as easy as it was in those first nine months. With that came a feeling of hopelessness and the cycle that made this person obese to begin with started all over again. By this persons two year anniversary 85lbs was regained. This person was brave to tell us this story and to warn us that WLS is not the end of our obesity. In fact, it should be a wake up for us that our success at a healthy life is a struggle each day.
This person is looking into a revision to gastric by pass but one wonders if long term success will be maintained or is this person doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past? For those of you with long term success you truly are remarkable, dedicated and an inspiration and I hope to learn from you and your successes as I read about them here on these forums.

I'm very happy for you that you've had success.
However, I'm a bit concerned by you saying "I frequently try to bite my tongue."
"Frequently" implies not always
"Try" implies you don't always succeed.
My advice would be to keep your thoughts to yourself, and do your best not to indicate your thoughts with your facial expressions. Not everyone who is large is unhappy about it, and if they are, they don't need you reminding them.
Perhaps I'm reading your post incorrectly; the style with all of the commas makes it a smidge difficult to follow. However, I would only offer up opinions or advice if someone explicitly asks for it.

Again, congrats on your continued success though!

I absolutely understand. I had the same thing for the first few days. The only thing I could (barely) tolerate was the broth from wanton Soup from my favorite Chinese restaurant - so that’s what I had. My nutritionist said that in the first week or so, getting fluids is the most important thing and to worry about the Protein when I was feeling better - about day 5 for me. As for regret, I was SO mad at myself for doing this to myself. But now - 6 weeks later - it’s the best thing I ever did. I feel great and I’m sure you will too!! Good luck!!

Hey sorry for the late response 🙄😩 I’ve been really bad about that lately. But yes I did have my surgery September 14th and I’m officially 40 pounds down fro my highest weight. Thanks for checking on me

I were I see 4 possible flavors, the one that calls out to me? The Lemon Creme Pie, open those doors Wal-Mart, Sweet Mama is coming!!!

Yum I’ll have to try them! I’m about 40 minutes from mystic!

I had my sleeve surgery on 10/10 and while I didn’t post it on Facebook, I did tell my family, friends and coworkers. I found that most everyone has been very positive and supportive. But that’s just me - I’m very open about things. I had IVF with both of my kids and although some people don’t share things like that, I told everyone! Just do what feels right for YOU! Good luck!

I get it with the Doritos. That’s the one food that I can NOT resist. I have decided - for me - I can NEVER eat Doritos again. Not ever. Not even one! I am thinking of Doritos like my “drug”. For the first month or two (after swearing off them forever) I thought of them every day. If that’s not addiction, I don’t know what is!! Now I’m down to thinking about them on occasion - like maybe once a week. It might be something for you to consider if you can’t control yourself around them. Now other chips? I haven’t had them yet but I know I could have a few. I’m only “addicted “ to the damn Doritos!!

It's a painful surgery, it will take time to heal, I dont think it's because of how you did on your pre-op diet. I'm 2 weeks put and still have a little pain but it gets better and better each day. Don't beat yourself up. You went though a surgery, anesthesia itself makes your body weak like you just fought a flu. It takes time. Hang in there.

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Just to update everyone I had surgery today 11/21/18 and my doctor said everything went well however I am struggling to recover and get back to normal I was in extreme pain when I woke up and I feel like if I didn’t cheat those 2 times on my pre op diet I wouldn’t be in so much pain. Also drink as much Water as you can that is something I failed at and I’m paying for it now

Yes, absolutely! If I eat Protein like chicken or beef first I feel full almost immediately. I'm 1 yr and 4 months out. Still feeling full quickly but I still have to watch what I eat. I could not even eat cheese at 2 months out. I was forcing myself just to drink Protein Shakes. I think alot of hunger is actually a need for Water. I would try drinking first and if you're still hungry then try eating.

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This tickled me this morning...thanks!

Thanks Cyndie. We’re neighbors! I’m in CT!
Your scale will move soon but I know what you mean!
Im doing ok with meat. I just need to chew it really well! What’s the califlour crust? Is that a brand? I didn’t mind making it but if I can find a good prepared one, that would be better!
Happy thanksgiving to you too!

Thanks everyone. This is why BP is such a good place. Much inspiration and wisdom!

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This is a GREAT idea!! I'm gonna think up some torturous exercise as penance.

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This! Turns out the guest wasn't interested in them anyway [emoji21]




Picking meself up, dusting meself off, getting back in the saddle.


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