mjsprague1017

Well everything has been going pretty good since i had my sugery (june 2). I have been having a hard time with my brain...It keeps telling me that im not eating enough and i want something realllllly bad to eat. I have not cheated tho and i dont plan on it. My body needs to heal itself and im not going to get it its way. So i went to see my dr yesterday and i have been having really bad diarhea and he gave me a recipe and tells me if you cook cauliflower till its really mushy and then put it in the blender ...it tastes like mashed potatos. Well i had to come home and try it....It tastes like light mashed potatos lol It was the weirdest thing i have ever heard of but it was pretty good. I didnt believe the doctor when he told me bc i am from the south and southern home cooked mashed potatos is what i am used to...so it was pretty good compared to my southern mashed potatos. Life is pretty good, but im really bored since i cant eat very much anymore lol! Mandi Jo

Well everything has been going pretty good since i had my sugery (june 2). I have been having a hard time with my brain...It keeps telling me that im not eating enough and i want something realllllly bad to eat. I have not cheated tho and i dont plan on it. My body needs to heal itself and im not going to get it its way. So i went to see my dr yesterday and i have been having really bad diarhea and he gave me a recipe and tells me if you cook cauliflower till its really mushy and then put it in the blender ...it tastes like mashed potatos. Well i had to come home and try it....It tastes like light mashed potatos lol It was the weirdest thing i have ever heard of but it was pretty good. I didnt believe the doctor when he told me bc i am from the south and southern home cooked mashed potatos is what i am used to...so it was pretty good compared to my southern mashed potatos. Life is pretty good, but im really bored since i cant eat very much anymore lol! Mandi Jo

Hi All, Well monday was my surgery day and everything went pretty smooth except i had a haitel hernia. I am still pretty sore, i just feel like someone beat me with a bat. Im still using my hydrocodone. Thank you everyone for your encouraging words, it helps alot. Well im goin to go nap, i hope everyone has had a good week so far...tomorrow is FRIDAY YAAAA!!! Mandi Jo

Hi All, Well monday was my surgery day and everything went pretty smooth except i had a haitel hernia. I am still pretty sore, i just feel like someone beat me with a bat. Im still using my hydrocodone. Thank you everyone for your encouraging words, it helps alot. Well im goin to go nap, i hope everyone has had a good week so far...tomorrow is FRIDAY YAAAA!!! Mandi Jo

Errr Im soooooo FREAKIN NERVOUS about my surgery tomorrow, its driving me crazy!!! I have to be at the hospital at 5:30am so that means i have to leave here by 4:30.... I have so much going on in my head right now. I hold my house together and leaving that for my husband to do is gettin a little nerve wrecking. :cursing:I can just see the dirty dishes, laundry, and well the whole house really gross. Today i am going to be a super cleaner. :thumbup:I woke up this morning at 7am and i can not go back to sleep. I keep thinking well maybe i shouldnt have to surgery...maybe i should just try it alone again...but if i could of done it before i wouldnt be in this position today. :thumbdown:I am just going nutz. I asked my husband last night if we needed to go to get some groceries for him and he told me just make a list and i will go when u are asleep on monday:bored:....WHAT i started to freak out in my mind and think i cant let him go to the store by himself...I think i maybe a little control freak:blushing:! Well im going to go lay on the couch and see if i can go back to sleep for a little bit:closedeyes: and see where this gets me.. Mandi Jo

Errr Im soooooo FREAKIN NERVOUS about my surgery tomorrow, its driving me crazy!!! I have to be at the hospital at 5:30am so that means i have to leave here by 4:30.... I have so much going on in my head right now. I hold my house together and leaving that for my husband to do is gettin a little nerve wrecking. :cursing:I can just see the dirty dishes, laundry, and well the whole house really gross. Today i am going to be a super cleaner. :thumbup:I woke up this morning at 7am and i can not go back to sleep. I keep thinking well maybe i shouldnt have to surgery...maybe i should just try it alone again...but if i could of done it before i wouldnt be in this position today. :thumbdown:I am just going nutz. I asked my husband last night if we needed to go to get some groceries for him and he told me just make a list and i will go when u are asleep on monday:bored:....WHAT i started to freak out in my mind and think i cant let him go to the store by himself...I think i maybe a little control freak:blushing:! Well im going to go lay on the couch and see if i can go back to sleep for a little bit:closedeyes: and see where this gets me.. Mandi Jo

Hi Mary, I am having my surgery on monday too! Thank you for commenting and letting me know im not the only who feels this way about food. Food is my addiction and i have to give it up to be able to live the life that i want. Mandi Jo

Well i have been thinking for the past week that this surgery is not going to fix me, all the damage and baggage of being overweight my entire life will NOT just go away. This surgery is not a quick fix and i am pretty sure im going to want to give up at some point or wonder why i am torturing myself, BUT this blog is for me (or anyone else) to read when i am feeling insecure and discouraged. I got a little emotional when i wrote this letter to myself. I think its b/c i have to let mandi come out and not hide her behind the fat anymore. Mandi, You had this surgery b/c you can not diet on your own. Dieting has always made you lose weight but you have no idea how to keep it off. The band is there to help you with portion size. It is not going to fix your cravings or emotional stress. You promised yourself that if the insurance approved your surgery, you would be more than willing to learn to live with food in a different way. Today is probably a bad day and you wished you could eat something really bad and it would make you feel better, but it doesnt make you feel better. It makes you feel guilty for eating it then you decide well i already messed up, ill eat something else bad. You are way more important than any stupid dessert or carb.This is not how you want to live the rest of your life! And even more important reason you needed the band is b/c you have PCOS and this will help you get rid of it. The band is not your enemy it is providing you a chance to start over with food and learn to appreciate it, not abuse it. You will have your good days and you will have your bad days but the band will always be there to help you make wise choices. If you want to eat b/c something is wrong, GO DO SOMETHING, talk to someone, work out, play a game. DO NOT let this addiction rule the rest of your life. So suck it up, put on a smile and take it day to day. Life sucked fifty times more gaining weight then it did losing weight...so im sure it is not that bad. I love myself and i need to take care of myself for me. I Will Always Love You, Yourself