Louisa Latela

I have found that a majority of my clients who struggle with compulsive eating have historically ignored their gut: both literally and figuratively They have spent a lifetime not listening to their body’s (gut’s) hunger and fullness signals as well as not listening to their intuitive knowing (gut instincts). When we do not pay attention to our intuition there is a low level anxiety/energy that constantly runs in the background of our mind/body. And we consciously (or not so consciously) think things like “I know I should speak up for myself at work, but I don’t want to make waves.” “I really should have an omelet for breakfast but the donut looks good, I know I’ll feel sick afterwards, oh it doesn't matter, I'll eat better tomorrow.” “I never should have volunteered to do that project: I don't have the time, but I didn't want to disappoint my friend.” “I know my partner treats me disrespectfully, he doesn’t really mean it I know he wants to change. I’m gonna keep my mouth shut and hope he changes soon.” etc. Having all this background chatter is annoying. Guess What?? Overeating or eating foods that make you sleepy or foggy is a GREAT way to dull that noise. However if you want to lose weight and keep it off in a healthfully, you must learn to respond to your overeating triggers in positive, self nurturing way. If ignoring your intuition is one of your triggers here is a simple way to begin to notice your intuition. When you make a commitment to "playing around with this" you will undoubtedly begin to be more aware of your gut instincts in more important areas of your life: relationships, work, health. Once you start to trust your intuition you will continually be guided to people places and things that you support you in your quest to life a healthy joy-filled life! This comes from my Nurturing Nudge # 55 Go With Your Gut! Practice listening to and acting on your intuitive hunches. If this is a new concept for you, start out with small things like trusting your gut when it comes to getting in the fastest moving line at the bank, or finding a great parking spot. In these instances your intuitive hunch is the very first feeling/thought/inclination that comes up when you pose a question. For instance your intuitive hunch might be to get in a longer line at the bank, something your rational mind would argue. But I challenge you to go with your gut. More times than not I bet you find that your intuitive hunch was right. Another easy way to better trust your instincts is to call or email a friend when the thought of them pops up in you mind. Whenever I do this I usually find that my friend was just thinking about me or that he or she needed my support at the exact time I reached out to him/her. This is great practice for learning to live your life in connection with your Higher Power, your Intuitive Knowing, which will always guide you to act in ways that are loving and respectful to yourself and others; that support your Highest Good. Know this: You have all the wisdom and knowledge you will ever need inside you. Practice accessing, listening to, and acting on its promptings. When you do this you might be surprised to notice that you experience a feeling of lightness and increased energy, a greater sense of well being, and a sense of things flowing easily and effortlessly! It is soooo cool to follow your instincts and see that they were right on even when they made no logical sense! Kinda makes your heart giggle!! AFFIRMATIONS I trust my gut! My intuition guides my every action! The more I listen to my intuition the louder it speaks! My gut rocks! Live In Love ? Louisa If you've had weight loss surgery but found that you've regained some weight this group may be a valuable resource for getting back on track. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/lighten-up-tickets-53027486640?fbclid=IwAR3hCtIcVvH46SlVTyyOEN-vzTbBPc7OiMEoahTlWxokL1qHuOLAhOpIukg

@@Keri1019 Hi keri, It is wonderful that you are so aware of your feelings. Like Torriluv87 said a lot of what you are feeling is normal. Another thing is that you said you've been changing your diet and are now doing the official pre-op diet. You may not have realized how often you use food to calm your feelings. Even if you weren't a big "overeater" different types of foods affect your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual experiences. So if you are eating less and eating different foods than what is your norm you might be more connected to and more intensely feeling your feelings right now. Again as Torriluv87 said it is important to acknowledge, feel, and process your emotions. Talk to your support people, journal, exercise, meditate. If it will make you feel better make sure you DO see your daughter before surgery. If you have any strong intuitive hunches that you need to get a second option or re-think having the surgery follow those hunches.... In the mean time keep breathing and focusing on present moment awareness. Look for the joy in this moment and don't allow the fear of the future rob you of the joys and miracles that are waiting for you today.... Wishing you all the best! Louisa

Practice listening to your heart, your intuition. Are there changes in your life you are feeling called to make? If so take action NOW. Every time you deny you inner knowing, that small still voice within, you suffer and chip away at your self esteem, your self worth. Release the need to please others, to fit in, to go along with the crowd. Lovingly, assertively, and respectfully speak up for your self, speak your truth. When you deny your truth and ignore your feelings you can’t help but suffer: you may feel angry, sad, victimized, depressed, anxious, or overwhelmed, which often leads to engaging in unhealthy behaviors (overeating, drinking, smoking, shopping, etc) to numb the pain of these feelings. Life is so much simpler when you are authentic. You DO have the power to change your experience of your life. Don't complain. Instead FOCUS on what you DO want in your life, how you WANT to feel and what ALREADY IS GOOD... See yourself as being happy, fulfilled and loved… Keeping this vision/feeling in your heart notice the signs and follow your instincts as they will lead you to living an abundant joy-filled life… All day long check in with yourself to be sure your actions are GROUNDED IN THE ENERGY OF LOVE not fear, anger, or anxiety. Know this: WHEN YOU LIVE IN LOVE ALL IS WELL! XO Live in Love, Louisa

Im sure that's true in some cases but unless and until one is willing to see things differently and/or make lifestyle changes that will support long term weight loss there is not much that anyone else can do for them. If they are comfortable with their life there is no motivation to live different. The greatest gift you can give to someone is to live a happy joy-filled life.. People will be attracted to your joy and energy which often spurs a curiosity as to how you are always so happy and healthy!! Then they start to ask questions and may be more willing to look at their own behaviors and perhaps see ways they can change. Thank you for your response! Have a beautiful day!

Continue to be kind and gentle with you. If you notice you are slipping back into old behaviors reach out for the support you need. Think about reclaiming your power of your past and not allowing those persons/situations to still control you/your actions. If you feel yourself going backwards Im sure that's a sign you are in need of some self nurture so do something truly nurturing for your soul: journal, get a massage, take a bubble bath, go for a walk, spend some time in nature, color... whatever it is that will get you through those uncomfortable feelings without being self-destructive... Sending lots of good vibes and angel blessings your way!

So True.. Until one can stop seeing "not eating certain foods" as deprivation and value the freedom that comes from "not eating them" or eating differently i.e. the freedom to move easier, to breathe easier to have more energy, etc... they struggle with disappointment and maintain that diet mentality. If one believes they can't resist that will be true for them. Though that doesn't mean that once in a while one can't have some of Grandma's Cookies... Its important to plan ahead for the Holidays.... that's a whole other article . Thank you for your response...

I have observed 3 traits common to most people who are unable make the lifestyle changes necessary to maintain healthy weight loss. 1. They believe that a particular diet plan, fitness expert, book, doctor, medication, or personal trainer holds the magic formula that will forever end their weight woes. They see the answer to their weight issues as lying outside of them and set themselves up to assume a victim status. You cannot turn your power over to someone or something external and expect to live an empowered healthy life. You must learn to connect with your inner wisdom and act on its guidance. In terms of your body and weight, you must get clear about your intention to treat your body with love and respect. When you do that and check in with your internal guidance, you know what you must do to have a healthy and strong body. You will be intuitively drawn to any external support you need like nutrition or fitness experts, books, or support groups. You follow what feels right and let go of anything that conflicts with your inner wisdom. You lose weight from the inside out, which really is the only way to make lifestyle changes necessary for you to be at peace with your body and food. 2. Inherent in the diet mentality is the core belief that being overweight is bad, which translates into “I am bad or weak if I am overweight,” and that the solitary act of losing weight is the key to happiness and self-acceptance. It promotes the thinking that “When I lose weight I will really love and accept myself and then I can be happy.” Actually, the opposite is true. Once you love and accept yourself just as you are, and give yourself permission to be happy, you will release your excess weight. Permanent healthy weight loss is a consequence of self-love and respect, not the cause of it. 3. The majority of their thoughts are focused on how much they do not like their body, and how much they don’t like being overweight. This way of thinking leads to feelings of anger, frustration, and depression, which attract to them more life experiences that leave them feeling angry, frustrated, and depressed about their weight and their body. Your life is a physical manifestation of your predominant thoughts and feelings. If you want to lose weight you must stop thinking and focusing on how much you don’t like your body and weight the way it is now. You must start to imagine and feel what it will be like to be at your ideal healthy weight, to be at peace with your body, to truly love and nurture yourself. You must look for ways and reasons to feel good regardless of your current weight! Think about it..... Live in Love! Louisa

My message to you today is short and sweet... Slow down...... Take a Deep Breath...... and Enjoy the Journey..... You are exactly where you need to be, doing exactly what you are meant to be doing in this very moment.. You are perfect right here, right now.......Be kind and be gentle with you.....

My Pleasure Alex! It really is very freeing to take responsibility for our feelings and realize we can always choose to feel differently!

Feelings are not good or bad or right or wrong; they are just energy in our body. AND .... .....All feelings eventually pass.Think about it: whenever you are really wound up, you eventually calm down, or when you are really depressed your spirit eventually rises. However; we live in a society that tells us as soon as we experience a feeling that doesn't feel good: OMG!!! Quick, have a drink, smoke a cigarette, run 25 miles, eat a doughnut, go shopping, do something... just don't NOT feel good! "Don't be sad, don't be anxious, don't be bored, don't be too excited, eat this; you'll feel better!!" But, when your fear your feelings you assume a "victim status". You become captive to your feelings. You allow your feelings to trigger you to do things that are often self-deprecating. I am suggesting that when you have an uncomfortable feeling: breathe into it consciously and gently. Do not stuff it or run away from it. Be with it. With curiosity and compassion ask yourself "What am I saying to myself that is making me feel uncomfortable (before you have a feeling you ALWAYS have a thought) and how can I see or think about this differently?" Ask what you are meant to learn from this feeling.When you embrace a feeling in this manner, it softens and and begins to dissipate. It is in these moments that you start to reclaim your power. You release your need for distraction and are able better able to really show up for and experience your life. Know This: Every time you take an action the purpose of which is to avoid a feeling you lose power. Every time you act in a way that honors your Highest Good independent of your feelings you gain Authentic Power. Learn to love your feelings, especially the painful ones. They will lead you home to your Authentic Self. Affirmations: I am willing to feel all my feelings! Feelings are just energy in my body and all feelings eventually pass. I like "riding the wave" of my intense feelings In my willingness to feel all my feelings I have reclaimed my Authentic Power! WOW I am really AWESOME!! Live in Love, Louisa louisa@liveyourhighestgood.com www.liveyourhighestgood.com

Whatever you are looking for you will see… AND... When you change the way you look at things the things you look at change! Tips for Improving Your Body Image: Accept your genetic body type: Remember that your weight, height, and bone structure are strongly determined by your genes.. Healthy bodies come in all shapes and sizes. Stop comparing yourself to others. How others look has nothing to do with you. Be media conscious. We are bombarded with media messages telling us our bodies are not perfect… Most fashion and women’s magazines focus on an ideal of beauty that is just not something that anyone in real life can be. Remind yourself that the body images you see are manufactured by make up artists, hair dressers, airbrushing specialists, fashion designers, lighting specialists, and cosmetic surgeons. Also know that many fashion models have eating disorders and are not able to maintain their low body weight in a healthy manner. Create a Why I Like Myself List. Think about all the things about you that you like… are you Funny? Creative? Honest? Intelligent? Think of all the reasons you deserve to love yourself and write them down. Remind yourself of all the things you are besides a body. Read this list daily and add to it every time you think of something else you like about you. Create a Body Appreciation List. Think about how your body has continued to show up for you no matter how much you fed or starved it, exercised it or not. Write these things down. Remember that your heart has continued to beat, your lungs continue to breathe, and your liver continues to detoxify your body. As well, maybe your body has learned a new skill, gotten stronger, taken you to the top of a hill, rejuvenated during sleep, or allowed you to comfort a child, share love with a spouse, or go shopping with friends!. Celebrate your body and the marvelous things it can do. If you’ve had Weight Loss Surgery note all the things that your body can do now that it could not do before. How has your life changed because of the changes your body has gone through? Read this list daily and add to it every time you are grateful for something your body has done. Stop thinking that thinner thighs are the answer to all of life’s problems. When you find yourself hyper focused on your body stop for a moment and ask yourself what you would be doing, thinking, or feeling if you were not obsessing about your body. What is this preoccupation stopping you from being present to in your life? Are you in anyway benefiting from focusing on what you believe to be your physical flaws? Commit to feeling the feelings that arise as you ask yourself those questions and really listen to the answers you hear/feel. “Act as if you” were comfortable in your body even If you are not quite “feeling it” yet. How would you walk, what would you wear, how would you speak to people, what kind of self talk would you be speaking, what kind of eye contact would you make with others? Use these questions as a guide for “acting as if”. Notice how it feels to carry your body with an air of love and respect. Speak (and think) only kind and loving words and thoughts to and about your body!! If you find yourself being critical of your body, stop and acknowledge that this will not support you feeling good about yourself. Then, respond to yourself as you would to a best friend. For every negative thing you catch yourself saying about your body, apologize to your body and say 2 loving/ appreciative things about your body. Make a decision to truly “nourish” yourself. Read a good book, take a bubble bath, schedule a massage, get a haircut, dance to your favorite song, make plans with a friend, take a nap, ask for a hug, give yourself permission to say “no”, meditate, pray. Make it your intention to move and enjoy your body: go walking, swimming, biking, dancing, do yoga, tai chi, etc… not because you have to but because it makes you feel so good. Your body deserves to be treated well. Surround yourself with people who celebrate and appreciate you. Say “thank you” to compliments without discounting them. Know that you can control your experience of your life by the thoughts you choose to think. How you experience your life is a direct consequence of your predominant thoughts and feelings. By making a decision about the thoughts you choose to think (which are the precursors to your feelings) you take responsibility for creating your reality. So if you decide to think about what is not good about your body you will attract to you experiences of your body not being good enough, and more than likely will live in a state of “waiting till things get better (i.e. my thighs get thinner)” before you can really be happy. If you choose to think about what is good about you, what you like and appreciate about you, you will feel gratitude and be more likely experience your life as abundant and joy-filled! The next time you find yourself being critical of a particular body part, sit down and write a letter to that body part telling it exactly what you don’t like about it and how it makes you feel. Then have that body part write back to you telling you how it felt to read that letter. Then write back to that body part…….. and just notice what happens………. If you have any thoughts or comments about this blog I would love to hear from you. You can respond below to this blog or email me at louisa@louisalatela.com.

When we are not living an authentic life inevitably we will experience some sort of discontent. However since we live in a society that promotes instant gratification and the need to always "feel good" as soon as some "not good feeling" shows up, we try to stuff it, drink it, run it, shop it, overwork it, away. By ignoring our unpleasant emotions, we are actually prolonging our pain and oft times reinforcing the addictive patterns we developed to help us "check out." Remember: Wherever you go there you are! In order to be truly free and know real joy and serenity, we need to be living an authentic life. Are you Living Your Highest Good? Are you living from a place of connection to your Authentic Self? Do you really know how to show up for Yourself? If so you are living an Authentic Life. If you are living authentically your actions are a reflection of your Truth. You know and trust yourself. You are able to put insight into action. You quite naturally live your Highest Good. You are ever mindful of treating yourself with love and respect. You follow your bliss and create your own unique destiny. At this point you might be thinking “Huh??? What does all that mumbo jumbo even mean?” A simple example: If your body is telling you that you need to stop eating sugar and your are living authentically, you actually stop eating foods that contain sugar!! You don’t spend a lot of time making excuses or looking for reasons why you can’t do this. You cherish the good feelings and all the positive physical, emotional, and mental changes that are the result of you omitting sugar from your diet. Change really can be that easy when you are connected to YOU! Below I have listed Characteristics of Authentic Living ___You live your life with passion and purpose. ___You feel a profound sense of serenity deep within your heart. ___You are able to remain peaceful and centered even in the midst of chaos. ___ You know bliss. ___You are number one on your list of priorities. ___You feel really good about yourself no matter what anyone else says about you. ___You listen to your instincts. ___You trust yourself to make good decisions on your behalf. ___You are addiction free. ___You are honest. ___You are intent on living your life from a place that is grounded in love, not fear. ___You take good care of your body (eat well, drink plenty of water, exercise regularly, get a good night’s sleep). ___You are comfortable speaking up for yourself in a way that is loving and respectful to all concerned. ___You are surrounded by people who support and celebrate You. ___You live in a state of gratitude. ___You live mindfully, ever conscious of living in the NOW. ___You take time each day for sacred silence, to be still and listen to you. Does this list describe you? Does it describe how you feel sometimes, but not very often? If you are like most people, there are times that you feel disconnected from your Authentic Self. The good news is that you can find your way back home to You in any given moment. Look over the list of the Characteristics of Authentic Living again. On a scale of 1-10 rate how true each of the statements are about you. 1 being totally false… 10 being always true… Then record any thoughts or feelings that surfaced while you were doing this exercise. Notice how many characteristics had a score higher than 5 or higher than 8 and how many characteristics had a score lower than 5 or lower than 3. Did you learn anything new about yourself? Can you imagine scoring a 9 or 10 on all the characteristics? Why or Why not?

With the holiday season in full swing you may find yourself in the company of people who you avoid most of the year, people who "push your buttons:" who can trigger you to be reactive or defensive. People who USED to trigger you to overeat. A few things you can do to prepare for this: 1. Have realistic expectations. Don't expect them to all of a sudden be different this year. 2. Don't take their words or actions personally. (Whatever anyone says or does is a reflection of what's going on for them; it has nothing to do with you. Think about it: if someone feels good about themselves they see good in others, if someone does't feel good about themselves they won't see good in others; they will be angry, jealous, judgmental, etc.) 3. Set an intention to enjoy the holiday. Wear a bracelet or carry something in your pocket that every time you see or touch it you remember to LOOK FOR THE JOY in this moment. 4. Every time you think of the person/people who you dread seeing say a prayer for and send light and love to them, envision them happy and healthy. 5. And if someone says something that makes you nervous or upset remember the 4 R's of Responsible Respectful Responding: 1. RECENTER: Take a deep breath. If you are anxious or upset you are not centered and your breathing is shallow. Taking a couple deep breaths will help you get out of your head and back into your body; to your Center wherein lies your power (when you are not centered you lose your personal power) . 2. REFOCUS: Remind yourself of your intentions for your life and Focus on how you can handle this situation (in a kind and respectful manner) that will support those intentions. 3. RELAX: Once you are Centered and Focused you can then Relax: do a quick body scan and release any tension you might still be holding. 4.RESPOND: Now instead of impulsively reacting (from a state of fear or anxiety) you can Responsibly and Respectfully Respond to the situation with Clarity, Calm, Compassion, and Confidence! Affirmation: Recenter, Refocus, Relax, and Respond: That's how I roll! Happy Thanksgiving!! Live in Love, Louisa

This is a blog I came across that I wrote 6 years ago on Thanksgiving Day, and felt it was worth re-posting. Enjoy! I am writing this blog on Thanksgiving Day (2008). Quite naturally on this day many people stop to reflect on that for which they are grateful. Have you ever stopped to notice how you feel physically and emotionally when you are thinking in terms of gratitude? I know for myself I feel like I have a smile in my heart…my body feels light and content…and warm and fuzzy!!! Any tension that I might have been holding seems to dissipate when I am in a state of gratitude. I feel happy, content, and open to receiving that which supports my highest good. I have learned that in any moment I can choose to think in terms of gratitude and immediately change my experience of that moment. For the next month I encourage you to challenge yourself to see the positive in all your life experiences, to see the lessons and opportunities for growth that comes through life’s most difficult moments, and to make it your intention to live in a state of gratitude. If you consciously choose to see the blessings in your life they will multiply for that to which you put your attention expands. Pay attention to what works well in your life, look for the positive in every person your meet, and choose to say only kind and respectful things to and about yourself and others. Focus on what you do want in your life not what you don’t; focus on what you are in favor of, not that to which you are opposed. For example are you against war or for peace??? Though someone who is against war my be for peace, if their focus is on opposing war their experience of life will be dramatically different than if their focus is on creating peace. They will essentially be at war with war (thus creating more war) instead of looking for opportunities to create more peace. This may take some practice. Often we have some negative scripts that we have been playing in our head for many, many years. Begin to notice them and consciously choose to turn them into positives. Every time you notice yourself thinking or speaking about something you don’t like or don’t want let that be a signal to turn you attention to what you do like or do want. In terms of weight issues keep your focus on eating for good health and energy and eating and moving in a way that will support a light and fit body. Do not focus on excess weight, what you don’t like about your body or your need to lose weight. Envision yourself at your optimum weight… What are you wearing, how are you holding your body, how do you walk down the street, how to speak to other people, what are you eating, how does your body move and exercise? Really take the time to feel this, breathe the feeling in to your every cell… then begin to live your life from this vision. Start walking, talking, moving, and eating as if you were already at your ideal weight. It has been said that where the mind goes the body will follow. So,pay attention and consciously choose where your mind goes!!!! You may want to keep an intention and gratitude journal. I have my clients write down their intention for their life every morning ( it can be “my intention is to feel peace today, or treat my body with respect today, or organize my closet today, or live in a state of gratitude today, etc…”). So, before they say or do anything they ask themselves if those particular words or actions will support their intention for the day. If the answer is no they change it to something that will be in line with their intention. Then before they go to sleep at night they write down 3 things for which they are grateful. It only takes a few moments to do this, but this simple exercise has been the catalyst for major positive life changes for many of my clients. If you have any thoughts or questions about this blog or suggestions for other topics, I’d love to hear from you. You can respond to this blog, or email me at louisa@louisalatela.com. You will soon be able to listen to the audio version of this blog at http://yourhighestgood.podomatic.com Wishing you many blessings, much abundance, and peace in your heart! Live in Love, Louisa

Often when we are trying to change a long standing behavior that no longer serves our Highest Good we are really hard on ourselves if we don't do it fast enough or "perfectly enough." We think that by giving ourselves a good stern lecture and punishing ourselves when we "mess up" we will be more likely to change. You say things like "That's the last piece of candy I'll ever eat...I need to exercise 10 hours today to make up for my messing up yesterday. I know better I should do better. I must be an idiot. I don't deserve to succeed for being so stupid. I'm disgusted with myself, etc." This actually helps to perpetuate the "messed up" behavior instead of diminishing it. When you are struggling to change a behavior of which you desperately want to be free (i.e. compulsive eating, chronic care-taking, gossiping, smoking, gambling, drinking, disorganization, etc), you need an emotional hug, not a beating. When you love yourself through the rough moments your heart softens, anxieties dissipate, and your struggle is transmuted into acceptance and growth. You give yourself the space and freedom to breathe and feel and be. It is from this place that you connect with your authentic self; the Divine. It is from this place that you receive the inspiration and guidance and make manifest your grandest dreams! Affirmations: I am perfect in this moment! I love myself unconditionally! I say only kind and loving things to and about myself! I always 'show up for me' when I am struggling to change... AND When I really 'show up for me' I no longer feel like I am "struggling"! Live in Love! Louisa