Creekimp13

ANY addiction can be a transfer addiction after a bariatric surgery messes with your food addiction. About a year after surgery, I noticed I liked to go gambling more. (not an insane amount, but instead of going maybe once every three months or so and taking $50, I was going maybe twice a month and taking $100. One month, I went once a week) I'm thrifty, so I noticed the casino losses in my budget right away and said....oh, hells no, this has to stop. So, I quit gambling entirely. Dodged the bullet on that one, thank goodness.
But....of course.... that void looked for another way to rear its head.
I started buying way too much **** on Ebay and Amazon. Late night purchases. Ugh. When I identified that issue....I quit, and promptly started hitting thrift stores and buying too much crap. Just kept swapping out one source of instant gratification for another....kinda like food.
Addiction is a real thing. And finding healthy ways to deal with that need for instant gratification (and the hidden **** that drives it) will always be something I deal with.
Very often when I hear people talk about regain... they will beligerantly insist that they don't have problems with food addiction or disordered eating. And I always think....oye. This ain't gonna end well for you.
Admitting you have a problem is the first step, imo. And I know that sounds cheesy...but it's true. You need to get your head around your blind spots and confront them. Understand the behavior so you can change the behavior.
I'm 4.5 years out, maintaining my weight loss (very proud of this)....but more aware than ever before how food addiction has impacted my life and my habits. Also, more aware of what drives my addictive behaviors.
Still workin on it, man it's hard! Parts get easier, parts get harder. Just gotta keep fighting the good fight:)

"I love your smile!" This dude says this to me on my way into the grocery store today. And I'm thinking to myself....ok, that was odd.
Then, I get a couple more big smiles and winks and weirdness.
I asked my 80 year old mom who was with me today...."What the hell is going on? Do I look odd? Am I missing something? I'm getting strange looks."
And without hesitation, she goes.... "It's your boobs."
"What?"
"You have a little waist and big boobs. You usually don't wear fitted shirts."
And she's right...I'm wearing a sort of snug fitted shirt. My bestie made me try it on and she said it looked awesome on me. It's not hoochie or overly tight or anything....just not something I'd usually wear.
Ok...this coming from my 80 year old mom was wild enough....but literally minutes later...some dude runs over to help me lift one of those 40 pound pails of cat litter into my cart.
"Wait, let me help you!" Mr. Helpful says, dashing over grinning like a madman.
And I thanked him. Twice.
But I'm thinking to myself.....where the hell were you when I weighed 270 pounds and my back was killing me?
Sometimes I kind of enjoy it....but most of the time it's incredibly uncomfortable to not be as invisable anymore.
I mean, the sweet compliments and help are incredibly nice and all....but sometimes I feel gross about it. I am still a fat girl on the inside. I'm still angry and hurt that people are shallow assholes.
Any of y'all know what I mean?

Crap, I don't drink...so maybe I'll just take a hit of pot each time someone on My 600 pound life says:
1. Miserable. (ie: my life is miserable)
2. Switches out "my size" for "my weight"
3. This is my last chance.
4. "Dr. Now doesn't understand....."
5. "Weightloss Journey"
6. "Progress"
And TWO everytime Dr. Now says:
1. "What happened?"
2. "you are killing yourself."
3. "Eating habit!"
4. "How you all doing?"
5. "If you need anything, let me know."
6. "I'm proud of you!"
Take off one article of clothing each time the patient fails to meet a weight loss goal.
If it's the Penny Sager episode....just smoke the whole bowl, take ALL your clothes off, and watch in stunned silence with your mouth hanging open.

Good carbs with lots of fiber keep my gut microbiota in balance, and are a hell of a lot healthier for my kidneys than ketosis.
I eat good fats, good carbs, high plant protien, moderate animal protien, high fiber.
Sustained goal weight for over 3 and a half years eating a metric feckton of a carbs:)
I'm extra careful with my refined carbs, though. Very little processed sugar or white flour in my diet now (huge change from before). Almost all my carbs are from whole grains, whole fruit, Beans, potatoes, other whole veggies now....but I do eat a lot of them.
The occasional treat of refined stuff, but not too often. Maybe 200 calories worth once or twice a week.
Carbs are not the enemy

Good carbs with lots of fiber keep my gut microbiota in balance, and are a hell of a lot healthier for my kidneys than ketosis.
I eat good fats, good carbs, high plant protien, moderate animal protien, high fiber.
Sustained goal weight for over 3 and a half years eating a metric feckton of a carbs:)
I'm extra careful with my refined carbs, though. Very little processed sugar or white flour in my diet now (huge change from before). Almost all my carbs are from whole grains, whole fruit, Beans, potatoes, other whole veggies now....but I do eat a lot of them.
The occasional treat of refined stuff, but not too often. Maybe 200 calories worth once or twice a week.
Carbs are not the enemy

The hardbody look isn't my favorite for myself, but I admire it on others and I think you look terrific! That level of fitness is just amazing. Great work! I'm one of those nutty walking/cardio people. LOL. If I lifted weights I'd drop them on someone and kill them....not an athlete, total klutz. I have heard other female weight lifters say it's addictive...and ya'll certainly have my respect!

"I love your smile!" This dude says this to me on my way into the grocery store today. And I'm thinking to myself....ok, that was odd.
Then, I get a couple more big smiles and winks and weirdness.
I asked my 80 year old mom who was with me today...."What the hell is going on? Do I look odd? Am I missing something? I'm getting strange looks."
And without hesitation, she goes.... "It's your boobs."
"What?"
"You have a little waist and big boobs. You usually don't wear fitted shirts."
And she's right...I'm wearing a sort of snug fitted shirt. My bestie made me try it on and she said it looked awesome on me. It's not hoochie or overly tight or anything....just not something I'd usually wear.
Ok...this coming from my 80 year old mom was wild enough....but literally minutes later...some dude runs over to help me lift one of those 40 pound pails of cat litter into my cart.
"Wait, let me help you!" Mr. Helpful says, dashing over grinning like a madman.
And I thanked him. Twice.
But I'm thinking to myself.....where the hell were you when I weighed 270 pounds and my back was killing me?
Sometimes I kind of enjoy it....but most of the time it's incredibly uncomfortable to not be as invisable anymore.
I mean, the sweet compliments and help are incredibly nice and all....but sometimes I feel gross about it. I am still a fat girl on the inside. I'm still angry and hurt that people are shallow assholes.
Any of y'all know what I mean?

You're right, summerset....getting folks to think about weight loss and disordered eating in any other way than...extreme dieting...is like hitting your head against a wall until it's bloody.
I'm not sure I care to do it anymore. The windmill wins.
And Sillykitty made a great point...many people FEEL any suggestion of doing it any other way...is criticism of what they've been doing. It isn't, but I know it's experienced that way.
There is a defensiveness that rivals politics and religion...when we talk about diets and weight loss.
Everyone is very fixed on what they believe...including me, I suppose.
I think this might be a major reason why we don't see more activity on the veteran's forum...there's a volitility that gets so negative.
And ya know? I like ya'll. I don't want to feel negative about anyone or anything here.
At some point, it's unhelpful to share your two cents, even when you try to do it carefully.
And at some point, maybe it's best to realize that.
Peace and best wishes to all.

Most of the veteran posts, lets face it.... are "Help, I've regained!"
And the response I see over and over and over and over is...
"Go back to basics...starve yourself at 1000 calories a day (or less)...start drinking protien shakes....do keto...blah blah blah"
I don't mean to criticize heartfelt advice...and I know some of ya'll are genuinely trying to help.
But why in the world would you tell someone to do the same thing over again....that didn't work the first time?
It seems nuts to me.
My two cents: see a bariatric therapist. Stop the self punishment. Stop the self sabotage. Stop the self harming extremes.
Get down to the real reasons you're addicted to food, what you're medicating with it...and work on fixing those issues.
If you do....making slow reasonable changes to your diet that have slow but steady results....will work.
You don't have to starve. You don't have to do very low calorie diets that hurt your metabolism, your bone density, and your muscle mass.
You don't have to be so freaking EXTREME.
Breathe. Make reasonable changes you can live with for a lifetime. No crash diets. They don't work. You know this. How many years experience do you have KNOWING that this approach doesn't work? Stop running from the real issues.

Get your crockpot.
Get some chicken breasts and clean all the icky stuff. No one wants to run into that later. Ya want nice clean chicken without connective tissue yucky spots, Trim that stuff off.
Plot them in a crockpot.
Dump in a jar of salsa.
Dump in a can of black Beans.
Dump in a packet of taco seasoning.
Dump in a can of corn (if you tolerate corn)
Let it cook all day.
At dinner, shred the chicken.
You can eat this stuff plain, and your family can dress it up with cheese and nachos and sour cream.
Everyone's happy. Everyone wins.
Makes a great packed lunch the next day, too.
(I like mine on a bed of lettuce with some fresh red onion, avacado, and hot sauce....and a little reduced calorie sour cream)

Most of the veteran posts, lets face it.... are "Help, I've regained!"
And the response I see over and over and over and over is...
"Go back to basics...starve yourself at 1000 calories a day (or less)...start drinking protien shakes....do keto...blah blah blah"
I don't mean to criticize heartfelt advice...and I know some of ya'll are genuinely trying to help.
But why in the world would you tell someone to do the same thing over again....that didn't work the first time?
It seems nuts to me.
My two cents: see a bariatric therapist. Stop the self punishment. Stop the self sabotage. Stop the self harming extremes.
Get down to the real reasons you're addicted to food, what you're medicating with it...and work on fixing those issues.
If you do....making slow reasonable changes to your diet that have slow but steady results....will work.
You don't have to starve. You don't have to do very low calorie diets that hurt your metabolism, your bone density, and your muscle mass.
You don't have to be so freaking EXTREME.
Breathe. Make reasonable changes you can live with for a lifetime. No crash diets. They don't work. You know this. How many years experience do you have KNOWING that this approach doesn't work? Stop running from the real issues.

Me, too.
Again, I might be rehashing old injuries. People here seem very live and let live, now...and WOW is that nice.
A few years ago when I was starting out there was a huge judgey vibe that I'm surprised and delighted to see doesn't really exist much here now.
I fear in trying to retroactively combat it...I've created a whole new version of it. Which was not my intent....and is regretable.
If no one gives me **** about my diet soda and eating a good carb heavy diet....I will never, I promise, piss on anyone's enjoyment of children's Vitamins. (I still think that's whackadoo personally......but I'm sure that **** I do is totally whackadoo, too. To each, their own)
Peace to all paths and best wishes to all of us.

ms.sss.....if I ever call you obsessive or crazy, it will most definately be meant in a complimentary way. You're a delight.

Prestonandme.... I feel your post completely, and it's part of what I'm talking about. This addiction DOES kill. So yeah...there's that sense that only the best advice should be uttered. Because the stakes are really really high. I get what you're saying.
But at the same time, I worry that the humanity gets lost, the comisseration and humor gets lost. Often, we laugh to survive. We share, we comisserate. And I feel like there are times when it's hard to be someone struggling in a place that caters to perfectionism. Can you follow what I'm saying? Maybe I'm saying it badly.
It's a tough balance...because I don't want my posts to be a trigger, either, you know? I don't want to promote or romanticize the addiction. I know that some folks here have felt (understandably) afraid of their relationship with food and obesity...and a regimented, highly disciplined approach is their best way to feel safe and in control.
But I also know....it's ok to be human. It's ok to share the experience with other people. We don't have to feel so ashamed of the crap we deal with. I'm not saying it's ok to blow your plan on a regular basis or succumb to the addiction and just throw up your hands.
But I think there is value in being honest about this process. Sometimes seeing a room full of perfection is soul crushing.

Every so often I feel torn on these forums about my role and what I should say.
On the one hand, I'm a veteran now....and have had success with this whole undertaking that I feel pretty proud of. There are a lot of struggles and things that I can comment about with some hard earned observations and experiences. I can be all.....mentory...and have good mentor-ish things to say to newbies.
Sometimes I feel a responsibility to *provide a good example* and only say things that are in harmony with the bariatric sages...and play the proper acolyte to the Bariatric Authority.
But here's the part where I feel torn.
I also want to tell the truth. I want to be the kind of poster I really enjoyed reading when I was first looking into this crazy ride.
I want to be unvanished, raw and HONEST. Because I value that in people. I value that risk. I value those stories....because sometimes people really need those stories. Even if they're terrible advice and provide a terrible example! Sometimes just knowing someone else....occasionally has a horrible day and eats the entire pack of four Yasso bars....helps you to live your life and forgive yourself.
I want to say: Yes, I drink diet soda. I know it's probably unwise and I also know there's hype about it that's untrue....AND....I know a lot of you drink it, too. And some of you drink real soda.....and will probably rot in hell for it. LOLOLOL
Ya'll won't admit it....but I've seen ya. I've peeked in those windows and I know you do all sorts of awful stuff. You eat peanut M&Ms and drink soda and beer and buy the occasional McDonald's kid's meal and can of Pringles. At Christmas, you cheat. You eat stuff you shouldn't. You ate Halloween candy. Ok, it was just a couple of pieces...but it made you happy.
We're not perfect. We screw up. We make questionable choices. Sometimes regularly. We STILL have unhealthy food moments. We're works in progress.
Can we talk about it as adults...knowing it's a crap example...but also knowing that it's human?
We still do weird assed extreme things in realtion to food.
How many calories in two almonds and one dried cherry? I HAVE TO WRITE IT DOWN.
How many grams of protien in one pint of donated blood? How many calories do I lose when I menstruate? I had a cold and blew my nose ten times and the internet says snot is made of protien...do I have to up my protien?
I once heard a lady on one of these boards say....she had her flinstone chewable multi vitamin....for dessert after her meal. And it was delicious. 😳
Is it wrong to admit I wanted to slap her?
I'll admit it...I ate a S'more about two weeks after I had surgery. I remember it as the most exquisite thing I've ever eaten...and I nibbled that one little square of heaven all night in front of the fireplace with the Christmas lights on. Licked it, actually. Down to a stump. LOL.
And Yes, ..a part of me is still screaming at myself.....You had a freaking S'more right after your surgery???? What the actual H*ll???!!! What were you thinking? (I lived...crap, I even lost weight to goal...but I commited this food crime. Guilty.)
Sometimes I think we lose our humanity in this environment....because as some folks have noticed, there's a competative thing. Some weird ick factor of needing the best score...the tiniest dinner...the least daily calories. "I'm going to get down to my original weight of 9 pounds 3 ounces if it kills me. Could someone please eat the other half of my lentil? It's too much for me."
And then I think....crap, maybe these folks really ARE as together as they seem and I'm just nutty and disordered and still fighting through this mess everyday three years out...isn't normal...
But then I look at the number of folks who wash out...and think......nope. MOST of us are struggling and screw up. MOST of us continue to screw up and figure it out.
Would be fun to do the research to put an actual number on it....
But I'd bet at least 90% of us...have secrets they would never disclose in a forum like this about one screw up or another.
I think we need a Confession thread. Where correction is not allowed. Where worry and concern (and abject horror) are forbidden to be expressed. Where we can just let that other lost soul know....yep, I licked a S'more, too....you're not alone.
All sins can be forgiven. Tomorrow is always a new day.

1. Figuring out what to do with the pissed off/sad feelings when food wasn't an option to self soothe with.
2. Grieving no longer liking foods I've used as a comfort crutch for a lifetime.
3. Being suprised that this is a lifelong challenge, a lifelong calorie count, a lifelong need to be mindful, a lifelong fight.
You don't "overcome" this. You learn more strategies to deal with disordered eating....every day....for the rest of your life. You learn more about how you ended up fat. You learn more about yourself.
Most newbies think of weighloss surgery in terms of....
First hurdle....getting surgery
Second hurdle..surviving post surgical diet
Third hurdle..doing extreme things to get down to goal weight as soon as possible. (terrible idea)
and at Goal....the fantasy ends.
The typical Newbie thinks goal weight is the yellow brick road happy ending with a rainbow over it. Goal Weight is arriving at the destination you will never depart from. It is THE END, the reward, Bliss, Victory, blah blah blah...
The problem with arriving at goal....is that you wake up the next day....and you're still you. LOL.
Look past goal. Goal isn't the end. You don't get fixed just because you reach goal. Your brain and eating aren't less disordered. You have to work through all sorts of weird behavior and fix the parts of you that need attention...the parts that drove you to morbid obesity.
That's the real challenge....living permanently with new eating habits, new physicality, and finding new outlets for toxic feelings that don't end up being self sabotaging.
The work is never done. I won't say it doesn't eventually get easier. But it's never done.
I will be working on this big life change....for the rest of my life.

One of the bigger challenges many people face is thinking the surgery magically fixes you (it doesn't), thinking that the surgery does the work (it doesn't, but you do), and thinking that you're cured somehow at goal.
You are just getting started.

1. Figuring out what to do with the pissed off/sad feelings when food wasn't an option to self soothe with.
2. Grieving no longer liking foods I've used as a comfort crutch for a lifetime.
3. Being suprised that this is a lifelong challenge, a lifelong calorie count, a lifelong need to be mindful, a lifelong fight.
You don't "overcome" this. You learn more strategies to deal with disordered eating....every day....for the rest of your life. You learn more about how you ended up fat. You learn more about yourself.
Most newbies think of weighloss surgery in terms of....
First hurdle....getting surgery
Second hurdle..surviving post surgical diet
Third hurdle..doing extreme things to get down to goal weight as soon as possible. (terrible idea)
and at Goal....the fantasy ends.
The typical Newbie thinks goal weight is the yellow brick road happy ending with a rainbow over it. Goal Weight is arriving at the destination you will never depart from. It is THE END, the reward, Bliss, Victory, blah blah blah...
The problem with arriving at goal....is that you wake up the next day....and you're still you. LOL.
Look past goal. Goal isn't the end. You don't get fixed just because you reach goal. Your brain and eating aren't less disordered. You have to work through all sorts of weird behavior and fix the parts of you that need attention...the parts that drove you to morbid obesity.
That's the real challenge....living permanently with new eating habits, new physicality, and finding new outlets for toxic feelings that don't end up being self sabotaging.
The work is never done. I won't say it doesn't eventually get easier. But it's never done.
I will be working on this big life change....for the rest of my life.

One of the bigger challenges many people face is thinking the surgery magically fixes you (it doesn't), thinking that the surgery does the work (it doesn't, but you do), and thinking that you're cured somehow at goal.
You are just getting started.

Most of the veteran posts, lets face it.... are "Help, I've regained!"
And the response I see over and over and over and over is...
"Go back to basics...starve yourself at 1000 calories a day (or less)...start drinking protien shakes....do keto...blah blah blah"
I don't mean to criticize heartfelt advice...and I know some of ya'll are genuinely trying to help.
But why in the world would you tell someone to do the same thing over again....that didn't work the first time?
It seems nuts to me.
My two cents: see a bariatric therapist. Stop the self punishment. Stop the self sabotage. Stop the self harming extremes.
Get down to the real reasons you're addicted to food, what you're medicating with it...and work on fixing those issues.
If you do....making slow reasonable changes to your diet that have slow but steady results....will work.
You don't have to starve. You don't have to do very low calorie diets that hurt your metabolism, your bone density, and your muscle mass.
You don't have to be so freaking EXTREME.
Breathe. Make reasonable changes you can live with for a lifetime. No crash diets. They don't work. You know this. How many years experience do you have KNOWING that this approach doesn't work? Stop running from the real issues.

My experience....is that Infidelity, by itself, is almost never the integral issue.
Infidelity is a symptom of a bigger underlying problem in a marriage that isn't working.
People in happy marriages don't cheat.
Not to say there aren't marriages and couples who survive a bout of cheating...but it's a huge red flag that more is wrong than meets the eye.
Without addressing the underlying issues, the marriage becomes doomed.
Remember that 85% of people who get bariatric surgery get divorced.
If you're "happily married" and cheating...you're either a massive narcissist, or are in serious denial.

Every so often I feel torn on these forums about my role and what I should say.
On the one hand, I'm a veteran now....and have had success with this whole undertaking that I feel pretty proud of. There are a lot of struggles and things that I can comment about with some hard earned observations and experiences. I can be all.....mentory...and have good mentor-ish things to say to newbies.
Sometimes I feel a responsibility to *provide a good example* and only say things that are in harmony with the bariatric sages...and play the proper acolyte to the Bariatric Authority.
But here's the part where I feel torn.
I also want to tell the truth. I want to be the kind of poster I really enjoyed reading when I was first looking into this crazy ride.
I want to be unvanished, raw and HONEST. Because I value that in people. I value that risk. I value those stories....because sometimes people really need those stories. Even if they're terrible advice and provide a terrible example! Sometimes just knowing someone else....occasionally has a horrible day and eats the entire pack of four Yasso bars....helps you to live your life and forgive yourself.
I want to say: Yes, I drink diet soda. I know it's probably unwise and I also know there's hype about it that's untrue....AND....I know a lot of you drink it, too. And some of you drink real soda.....and will probably rot in hell for it. LOLOLOL
Ya'll won't admit it....but I've seen ya. I've peeked in those windows and I know you do all sorts of awful stuff. You eat peanut M&Ms and drink soda and beer and buy the occasional McDonald's kid's meal and can of Pringles. At Christmas, you cheat. You eat stuff you shouldn't. You ate Halloween candy. Ok, it was just a couple of pieces...but it made you happy.
We're not perfect. We screw up. We make questionable choices. Sometimes regularly. We STILL have unhealthy food moments. We're works in progress.
Can we talk about it as adults...knowing it's a crap example...but also knowing that it's human?
We still do weird assed extreme things in realtion to food.
How many calories in two almonds and one dried cherry? I HAVE TO WRITE IT DOWN.
How many grams of protien in one pint of donated blood? How many calories do I lose when I menstruate? I had a cold and blew my nose ten times and the internet says snot is made of protien...do I have to up my protien?
I once heard a lady on one of these boards say....she had her flinstone chewable multi vitamin....for dessert after her meal. And it was delicious. 😳
Is it wrong to admit I wanted to slap her?
I'll admit it...I ate a S'more about two weeks after I had surgery. I remember it as the most exquisite thing I've ever eaten...and I nibbled that one little square of heaven all night in front of the fireplace with the Christmas lights on. Licked it, actually. Down to a stump. LOL.
And Yes, ..a part of me is still screaming at myself.....You had a freaking S'more right after your surgery???? What the actual H*ll???!!! What were you thinking? (I lived...crap, I even lost weight to goal...but I commited this food crime. Guilty.)
Sometimes I think we lose our humanity in this environment....because as some folks have noticed, there's a competative thing. Some weird ick factor of needing the best score...the tiniest dinner...the least daily calories. "I'm going to get down to my original weight of 9 pounds 3 ounces if it kills me. Could someone please eat the other half of my lentil? It's too much for me."
And then I think....crap, maybe these folks really ARE as together as they seem and I'm just nutty and disordered and still fighting through this mess everyday three years out...isn't normal...
But then I look at the number of folks who wash out...and think......nope. MOST of us are struggling and screw up. MOST of us continue to screw up and figure it out.
Would be fun to do the research to put an actual number on it....
But I'd bet at least 90% of us...have secrets they would never disclose in a forum like this about one screw up or another.
I think we need a Confession thread. Where correction is not allowed. Where worry and concern (and abject horror) are forbidden to be expressed. Where we can just let that other lost soul know....yep, I licked a S'more, too....you're not alone.
All sins can be forgiven. Tomorrow is always a new day.

My experience....is that Infidelity, by itself, is almost never the integral issue.
Infidelity is a symptom of a bigger underlying problem in a marriage that isn't working.
People in happy marriages don't cheat.
Not to say there aren't marriages and couples who survive a bout of cheating...but it's a huge red flag that more is wrong than meets the eye.
Without addressing the underlying issues, the marriage becomes doomed.
Remember that 85% of people who get bariatric surgery get divorced.
If you're "happily married" and cheating...you're either a massive narcissist, or are in serious denial.

1. Figuring out what to do with the pissed off/sad feelings when food wasn't an option to self soothe with.
2. Grieving no longer liking foods I've used as a comfort crutch for a lifetime.
3. Being suprised that this is a lifelong challenge, a lifelong calorie count, a lifelong need to be mindful, a lifelong fight.
You don't "overcome" this. You learn more strategies to deal with disordered eating....every day....for the rest of your life. You learn more about how you ended up fat. You learn more about yourself.
Most newbies think of weighloss surgery in terms of....
First hurdle....getting surgery
Second hurdle..surviving post surgical diet
Third hurdle..doing extreme things to get down to goal weight as soon as possible. (terrible idea)
and at Goal....the fantasy ends.
The typical Newbie thinks goal weight is the yellow brick road happy ending with a rainbow over it. Goal Weight is arriving at the destination you will never depart from. It is THE END, the reward, Bliss, Victory, blah blah blah...
The problem with arriving at goal....is that you wake up the next day....and you're still you. LOL.
Look past goal. Goal isn't the end. You don't get fixed just because you reach goal. Your brain and eating aren't less disordered. You have to work through all sorts of weird behavior and fix the parts of you that need attention...the parts that drove you to morbid obesity.
That's the real challenge....living permanently with new eating habits, new physicality, and finding new outlets for toxic feelings that don't end up being self sabotaging.
The work is never done. I won't say it doesn't eventually get easier. But it's never done.
I will be working on this big life change....for the rest of my life.

One of the bigger challenges many people face is thinking the surgery magically fixes you (it doesn't), thinking that the surgery does the work (it doesn't, but you do), and thinking that you're cured somehow at goal.
You are just getting started.

I had a great experience. Super easy surgery. Walked over a mile in the halls in the evening. I think I had surgery at 8am? Woke up the next day at 7am, showered, washed my hair, put on clothes and was itching to go home. Very little pain. Zero nausea.
The hardest part for me...was that first week after...when essentially your entire life revolves around drinking little cups of Fluid several times an hour...and writing everything down. Pain in the butt and felt like a full time job. Worth it, though!
Best wishes. You got this!

Getting used to different portion sizes. I still have a mental “seriously?!?” When I eat dinner and I’m done after like 3 bites. Physically I’m satisfied, mentally I’m not, if that makes sense.

Mourning the loss of food as a treat or a reward. This is how I got into this mess in the first place, but doesn’t mean that I don’t still kinda wish I could deal with a bad day by ordering a huge pizza and buying an assortment of candy. Now I just have to deal with my feelings like a well adjusted adult or something? Not cool. (Joking....kinda)

Ugh. The longer I look at the boards, the more mental health pathology I see associated with weight loss surgery. People are nutty. Ignore the nonsense.
I won't even begin to guess why you've seen a weight bump. Sometimes it's just a damned mystery. The human body is freaking incredible at surviving...and it has tons of tricks up its sleeve to maintain homeostasis when it likes where it's at and doesn't want to change.