mytime4me

THIS....ALL OF THIS! These words help more than you know!

You nailed it...I am getting pretty good at telling people to STFU these days. One hand, I think its the pre-op diet other hand, I think its just the new me. I am not taking this step lightly and I am not doing it for a quick an magical fix - I am however, doing it for myself and my family. As far as my MIL, thankfully she doesn't live close and we don't see her often. My husband basically told her if she isnt going to support my journey - she is not welcome on it. I'm thankful to have a good guy by my side.
I did put a complaint in to the HR department, as I sat and thought about it for a few days I only got madder. I don't want anyone to lose their job but someone in that field should understand words/actions have consequences...

I told my parents and my best friend. That's it...
A notable stigma is attached to bariatric surgery. Uninformed people see it as the "easy way out" and will suggest you avoid surgery by getting a personal trainer, eating less, and exercising more.
Losing weight is not the real problem for most of us in the obese/formerly obese category. In fact, I'd lost 200+ pounds over the years before considering surgery (lose 30, regain 50, lose 60, regain 100, etc).
Also, some people on the periphery, such as jealous coworkers and acquaintances, secretly hope we regain whatever we lose with surgery. Some people may do it in a passive manner by mentioning those who have gained it all back.
Since I didn't want peoples' bat-**** commentary, I told only those I cared about.

Hey girl!! Ok, so I want you to know that you WILL get your life back! OMG I was in fear and crying and scared before the surgery, and a little afterwards too. I was afraid my life was over as I knew it, that I would not get to be like "normal" people, etc.

#1 - those are all normal, healthy, regular fears!! It's healthy to be afraid and scared and nervous. Humans hate change and this is a BIG one.

#2 - For the first 8 weeks things ARE going to be weird and you won't eat normal food and it will feel like this is your forever now. It's NOT. I promise, promise, PROMISE.

#3 - This is (i mean, most likely, I don't want to jinx anything, lol!) , hands down besides having your babies, the best decision of your life. Your life in 6 months from your surgery will be one of so much more happiness, movement, wonder, life, joy, etc. You aren't even READY for how great things are gonna be!!

Good luck, You are gonna do amazing. I know your fear, I felt it. And that's part of what makes us so god damned AMAZING. We are terrified...but we do it anyway. Anyone that says it's the easy way out has no idea what they are talking about.

Woah, that's fucked up. Your MIL said that??? Damn, I'm not even sure what I would reply with. IMO that's a reason to cut her out of everything. Ice the b***h out. I'm kind of not even kidding. I would have been so hurt and angry in that moment. And your HR person?? You should go to the person over their head and tell them what they said. Again, I'm not kidding. One of the many things I run at my small office is HR. That was inappropriate and a reason to tell their superior. If only to help the next person who has to go to them with something so personal and sensitive. That is grounds for a formal warning.

I guess the bottom line here is that I feel like people are willing to speak to you in a manner that is not only hurtful but inconsiderate and rude. And these are two people who should be speaking to you in the antithesis of that. Maybe you need to access some of those repressed feelings and words that feed into our obesity (It's what I've been doing for 10 months. As i tell people, I don't have the luxury of eating away my pain and feelings anymore so b*****s better be ready. lol!). Stand up for yourself and tell them, at the VERY LEAST, if they don't have something kind and supportive to say, than say nothing.

And what does your hubby think? Ugh, maybe I'm just in an emotional spot today but this would have upset me greatly.

Thank you for this, I really needed to hear it today. My surgery is Friday and I woke up last night crying. I was in sheer panic and started to doubt myself for the first time. I was sobbing so loud it woke up my husband, who initially was against me getting this done. He held my hand and reminded me all of the reasons why I need to do this for me. We have a 2 and 3 year old and I really want to be here for them as long as I can. Nothing is guaranteed in this world, but I do know if I stay on the path I am now - I will not be here long enough or be a healthy, happy person for them to see. Good luck with your journey, I hope come Friday afternoon when I wake up in recovery I am in the same place you are!
-Allison

...wow, that's impressive! I am not sure I would have been able to keep a straight face

I'm only two months out and I feel wonderful! I'm exercising and eating healthy and my hunger is so easily satisfied with Protein. You might not be thrilled the first few days but it gets so much better and so quickly. I was petrified before surgery. Go in with a positive attitude and before you know it you'll be on the other side and happy to start your new healthy life! Best of luck to you and so keep us posted!

I had the rny about little over 2 weeks ago. Prior to surgery i didnt tell anyone but my husband. But my family and friends are really nosey. Lol. So i ended up telling some family and fyi i come from a family of big women and men. Not surprisingly everyone was negative. " 1.Why would you do that you not that big. Lol. 2.your legs are skinny just your stomach is big. WTH... 3. You should go gym and dont eat out at resturants so much. " meanwhile i been in the gym for over a year i rarely eat out, nothing beats home cooked meals. Fast foward to this week. I finally got back to the big island after being on oahu for surgery for two weeks and since surgery i lost about 20 lbs. Everyone was shocked. No one said a dam thing about my so called FAT. Lol. Now some are even saying they might look into the surgery for themselves. Power to them, but for me i did this for my family because i wanted to be around for along time and be there for all my childrens graduations weddings children and anything important. I cant help them from the grave. So so far it has been a rough mental journey but i kept pushing ahead and now i feel it was so worth it. And id do it all over again. So im so proud of everyone of you for making this decision its not eazy and only the tough will consider and do it.
(Desiree from hawaii )


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Then I'm doomed! I'm doing yoga and as bad as I am at it I might as well save my fat pants! [emoji23]

I started my journey in November and after many months of pointless nonsense the big day is finally here. I'm going to the hospital at 5am tomorrow to be sleeved and it's just kicking in. I'm so damn nervous and hungry lol

Mine was... do yoga and eat boiled chicken and vegetables

They've probably never been in our shoes to think like that!

I had one person tell me that if i ate too much, that my stomach would explode.

I actually had a nurse in a doctor's office (my mother's doctor) say that I was cheating by taking the easy way. WTH!!! Anyone who says something that assinine shouldn't be in the healthcare "business". Doesn't know her head from her "you know what". Just so blessed to have family, friends, & co-worker's support.

People don't realize what they say. Often their hearts are in the right place but they completely screw up on the delivery.

My brother encouraged me to go for walks every day. My ex told me he was scared for me. My mother told me when she saw I was losing weight from the Meal Replacement diet pre surgery that "see you don't need the surgery, just keep doing what you're doing now..." and then day of surgery, was told "it's not too late to change your mind!"
i believe these statements are fear driven.
Like I said- heart in the right place.

What would be your concern with eating with the group? For me the hardest part was the weird looks and comments about why I was eating so little but if they know about the surgery then it's easy to explain. If you are just nervous about how you'll do with trying new things and would be more comfortable doing that privately, I would not be too concerned. To me the biggest risk is that you would be distracted by the social interactions and when not paying attention you could overdo it so would suggest measuring what you put on your plate to eliminate that risk. Vigilance is key, especially in the beginning.

Remembering it's a battle of the mind is the most important. I am three weeks out, but still have one consciously make the right decisions

Hey everyone [emoji1309]
I get sleeved the 18th of August, 50% Excited 50% Nervous
Loving the support in this thread x

...so today, I told my mother in law that I was having WLS and getting sleeved Friday (28-Jul). She told me to save myself the recovery and just stop eating french fries. Where was that helpful information all along?!?!?! LOL
In all seriousness, I am in the process of getting approved for time off after my surgery and the short term benefits manager at my company literally told me that if I utilized the work gym, I wouldn't have to take time off to "deal with this now".

Seriously, WTF people. Its hard enough making the decision I made, so not very thankful for the peanut gallery!
I am trying to stay positive and blocking out all the judgy comments. I am hoping that will be easier when I can rock an "I told you so" body.
<end rant>

I admire fans in cities with more than one choice, who STICK to their teams and don't just root for the flavor of the month. Congrats!

Thank you! That made me laugh. The worst part, on day 9 of this pre-op diet- now all I can think of is fries lol

...its worse than that, METS and JETS. I guess I just like to cry a lot

...some days I can't even with people! Good for you for trying to save your life. I swear, someone said "Anesthesia is no joke" , I responded with "So is heart failure for carrying around an extra 100 lbs" That shut them down for a little while anyway. SMH.

...here's to us for not listening!