The

I'm having surgery in two weeks, so just starting my diet and, whilst I can't claim to be an expert in WLS, I know more than a little about behavioural psychology.
Given that we are all, or have been, overweight enough to have undergone surgery it's pretty fair to assume that our relationship with food has been such that it has allowed us to gain and maintain significant weight. Everyone will have their own reasons for this, physiological or psychological, most likely a combination of the two.
If we think about our operations as a physical reset, where for a period we are forced to consume only limited amounts of food, then we also need corresponding mental resets. Weighing food has a functional, physical benefit, perhaps more importantly it can help us psychologically.
Weighing food can make us more mindful of our intake. Most of the time our brains work subconsciously, we're not 'thinking' we're making decisions based on habit, instinct and deep seated biases. When those aren't working for us we need to challenge them. Weighing food can help make deep links between our actions and their consequences, hopefully this will eventually start to challenge our habitual or comfort seeking impulses.
There are awful lot of people who 'know' a lot about nutrition or habit but are still overweight. The weighing, amongst other things, isn't about knowledge it's about training our minds to take and support decisions tat are better for us. That's a lot harder but it's how you change long term behaviour.

I hate to admit that I had coffee before I was even discharged! I'm putting my, so far, pain and complication free recuperation to the healing properties of good coffee.

I can't give advice on dating post WLS, but I'll share the things I did find.

A date's just a date. Try to have fun, laugh, connect - however it is you would with friends.

Don't go in with expectations of something life changing - life rarely changes in a hour or two, and expecting it to puts an awful lot of pressure on you and your date.

I split up from a long term partner seven years ago. I went out dating pretty quickly but decided that I just wanted to meet smart funny cute women and that I would enjoy their company. I had dates where I knew we wouldn't be intimate and they were brilliant fun. In the past I might have worried about whether we'd get together but I just decided that the only thing that mattered was enjoying the date.

As it happened I met my gorgeous wife and something did 'click'. And now we have a five year old son.

So my best advice is think of it like a couple of hours you want to enjoy and not an interview for being life partners or lovers.

I'm having surgery in two weeks, so just starting my diet and, whilst I can't claim to be an expert in WLS, I know more than a little about behavioural psychology.
Given that we are all, or have been, overweight enough to have undergone surgery it's pretty fair to assume that our relationship with food has been such that it has allowed us to gain and maintain significant weight. Everyone will have their own reasons for this, physiological or psychological, most likely a combination of the two.
If we think about our operations as a physical reset, where for a period we are forced to consume only limited amounts of food, then we also need corresponding mental resets. Weighing food has a functional, physical benefit, perhaps more importantly it can help us psychologically.
Weighing food can make us more mindful of our intake. Most of the time our brains work subconsciously, we're not 'thinking' we're making decisions based on habit, instinct and deep seated biases. When those aren't working for us we need to challenge them. Weighing food can help make deep links between our actions and their consequences, hopefully this will eventually start to challenge our habitual or comfort seeking impulses.
There are awful lot of people who 'know' a lot about nutrition or habit but are still overweight. The weighing, amongst other things, isn't about knowledge it's about training our minds to take and support decisions tat are better for us. That's a lot harder but it's how you change long term behaviour.

I'm having surgery in two weeks, so just starting my diet and, whilst I can't claim to be an expert in WLS, I know more than a little about behavioural psychology.
Given that we are all, or have been, overweight enough to have undergone surgery it's pretty fair to assume that our relationship with food has been such that it has allowed us to gain and maintain significant weight. Everyone will have their own reasons for this, physiological or psychological, most likely a combination of the two.
If we think about our operations as a physical reset, where for a period we are forced to consume only limited amounts of food, then we also need corresponding mental resets. Weighing food has a functional, physical benefit, perhaps more importantly it can help us psychologically.
Weighing food can make us more mindful of our intake. Most of the time our brains work subconsciously, we're not 'thinking' we're making decisions based on habit, instinct and deep seated biases. When those aren't working for us we need to challenge them. Weighing food can help make deep links between our actions and their consequences, hopefully this will eventually start to challenge our habitual or comfort seeking impulses.
There are awful lot of people who 'know' a lot about nutrition or habit but are still overweight. The weighing, amongst other things, isn't about knowledge it's about training our minds to take and support decisions tat are better for us. That's a lot harder but it's how you change long term behaviour.

I'm amused by people who know exactly what four ounces looks like. Four ounces looks completely different depending upon the density of the food. Given this is a weight loss surgery forum I would be sceptical about that particular method, particularly when four ounces tells you nothing about the calorific (let alone the Protein or sugar) content of what you're putting in your body.

I'm having surgery in two weeks, so just starting my diet and, whilst I can't claim to be an expert in WLS, I know more than a little about behavioural psychology.
Given that we are all, or have been, overweight enough to have undergone surgery it's pretty fair to assume that our relationship with food has been such that it has allowed us to gain and maintain significant weight. Everyone will have their own reasons for this, physiological or psychological, most likely a combination of the two.
If we think about our operations as a physical reset, where for a period we are forced to consume only limited amounts of food, then we also need corresponding mental resets. Weighing food has a functional, physical benefit, perhaps more importantly it can help us psychologically.
Weighing food can make us more mindful of our intake. Most of the time our brains work subconsciously, we're not 'thinking' we're making decisions based on habit, instinct and deep seated biases. When those aren't working for us we need to challenge them. Weighing food can help make deep links between our actions and their consequences, hopefully this will eventually start to challenge our habitual or comfort seeking impulses.
There are awful lot of people who 'know' a lot about nutrition or habit but are still overweight. The weighing, amongst other things, isn't about knowledge it's about training our minds to take and support decisions tat are better for us. That's a lot harder but it's how you change long term behaviour.

Good luck Shellshook!

And then it hit me.
After a couple of days feeling full of Beans my energy level just fell off a cliff. My surgeon said it was likely so I don't feel any enormous emotional upheaval but it really does feel different. I'm still pain free with no gastric issues I'm just physically tired all of a sudden.
Taking it easy is, unsurprisingly, the obvious response. Instead of fighting it I'm napping, sipping and walking - no pressure.
My first puréed meal was very welcome. I had made up a batch of beef ragu, puréed it and frozen it pre-op. It goes down well, little nibbles from the tip of a teaspoon of rich rich flavours and at least some texture. Feels good.
I'm not very conscious of any particular sense of construction in my stomach, I assume I'm just sipping at a good pace and I haven't come up against it. Like most things I'm sure that that sense of capacity will come with time.
All in all I couldn't ask for a more benevolent start to this journey. No complaints here.

This could get very wrong very quickly! As I'm wearing my post-op stockings I'm feeling a bit kinky.

It's a good question - because the nature of an internet forum is going to distort what you see. Assume that you will always hear more from the people who had problems,
There appear to be a wide spectrum of people but that's an illusion (this is the case for ALL self selecting forums on the net) the site is populated by people who have chosen to be here, subsequently they aren't representative (they may have had issues they want to air, a need to share, they may crave a sense of belonging... none of these things are wrong but is DOESN'T make them average). Plenty of people may find these forums don't suit them, feel the surgery was routine and subsequently doesn't merit talking about or simply want to move on from the surgery and get on with life (personally I think I'm falling into this camp already). So you won't hear their experiences in places like this.
So, like any other self-selecting internet forum the contributors here are likely to be people who have something, rather than nothing, to report... so complications, issues, trauma and problems will ALWAYS be over-represented. That doesn't make it a bad thing, far from it those experiences are valuable, but it's not the same as this being representative.
If you want to know about incidence of complications you need some kind of inclusive audit of ALL surgeries. In the UK we have the National Bariatric Surgery Register (NSBR). The report from 2014 (which covers a 3 year period) gives the following headline figures:
161 surgeons from 137 hospitals recorded 32,073 operations
The observed in-hospital mortality rate after primary surgery was 0.07% overall
The recorded surgical complication rate overall for primary operations was 2.9%
It also states that those are comparable rates to other international data sources. All of which suggests they're worth taking notice of.
What they don't include are the minor complications you hear about a lot on here, so nausea and the like. All I can say about that is that the people who have nothing to tell are probably not here and if they are here are probably not posting much - it's the way of the web.
For me? No complications. Remarkably pain free and easy, despite the anxiety beforehand. And yes, I wish I'd done it years ago.

I'm amused by people who know exactly what four ounces looks like. Four ounces looks completely different depending upon the density of the food. Given this is a weight loss surgery forum I would be sceptical about that particular method, particularly when four ounces tells you nothing about the calorific (let alone the Protein or sugar) content of what you're putting in your body.

I'm amused by people who know exactly what four ounces looks like. Four ounces looks completely different depending upon the density of the food. Given this is a weight loss surgery forum I would be sceptical about that particular method, particularly when four ounces tells you nothing about the calorific (let alone the Protein or sugar) content of what you're putting in your body.

I'm having surgery in two weeks, so just starting my diet and, whilst I can't claim to be an expert in WLS, I know more than a little about behavioural psychology.
Given that we are all, or have been, overweight enough to have undergone surgery it's pretty fair to assume that our relationship with food has been such that it has allowed us to gain and maintain significant weight. Everyone will have their own reasons for this, physiological or psychological, most likely a combination of the two.
If we think about our operations as a physical reset, where for a period we are forced to consume only limited amounts of food, then we also need corresponding mental resets. Weighing food has a functional, physical benefit, perhaps more importantly it can help us psychologically.
Weighing food can make us more mindful of our intake. Most of the time our brains work subconsciously, we're not 'thinking' we're making decisions based on habit, instinct and deep seated biases. When those aren't working for us we need to challenge them. Weighing food can help make deep links between our actions and their consequences, hopefully this will eventually start to challenge our habitual or comfort seeking impulses.
There are awful lot of people who 'know' a lot about nutrition or habit but are still overweight. The weighing, amongst other things, isn't about knowledge it's about training our minds to take and support decisions tat are better for us. That's a lot harder but it's how you change long term behaviour.

Relax... chill... take lots of small naps... nothing is going to make you feel quite so nauseous as anxiety.

Relax... chill... take lots of small naps... nothing is going to make you feel quite so nauseous as anxiety.

Thank you so much all for your thoughts and prayers. So, here's the score...
I feel amazing, I came back to my room 3 or 4 hours ago and I feel fantastic. Oxygen's gently wafting up my nose and my legs are alternately popping and inflating in an oddly relaxing rhythm.
I don't feel any pain worth mentioning, at the most I think you could say I'm 'aware' of where the incisions were made. I'm sat upright and about to take my first walk - I really can't wait to get on my feet.
Given everything I've read I'm surprised how easy constant little sips of Water are - I've probably (I can't see the record from here) got through 400ml so far).
Best of all given the almost imperceptibly rising level of anxiety that's accompanied me these last weeks I just feel a tremendous sense of relaxation and wellbeing - I feel like ordering a club sandwich and a massage from room service... ooooops!

Doesn't sound weird at all. I feel much the same and asked my surgeon about it - he tells me it's perfectly normal and we're still taking in vastly reduced volumes.

It feels wring because people here, completely understandably, are more likely to be looking for advice or sympathy for problems - and when you read nothing but that they sound like 'normal'. It's important to keep that perspective and try not to worry where you don't need to.

Doesn't sound weird at all. I feel much the same and asked my surgeon about it - he tells me it's perfectly normal and we're still taking in vastly reduced volumes.

It feels wring because people here, completely understandably, are more likely to be looking for advice or sympathy for problems - and when you read nothing but that they sound like 'normal'. It's important to keep that perspective and try not to worry where you don't need to.

Well, as it's getting so spicy in here I might as well weigh in with the things I've been thinking, but daren't say, since the start of the thread.
I'm having my bypass in two days. Over the past six weeks I've been thinking seriously about what happens afterwards and how I need to reset not just my body but my relationship with food.
What leaves me gobsmacked so often here is that I keep seeing threads that basically amount to 'when can I have the same old crap I used to eat and drink again'? Now call me perceptive but, assuming that surgery isn't a magic wand, isn't that exactly what put you in plus size pants the first time? There is a strong link between highly processed food and the incidence of obesity (in fact there is also a correlation between the consumption of artificial sweeteners like those found in 'diet' soft drinks and obesity). Highly processed foods and drinks just aren't that good for you and no one should know that better than people who have grown overweight to the point of major surgery by eating them.
I'm fairly lucky, my diet is mainly fresh and whole foods, my problems have been portion sizes, but this process has made me conscious of how I want to put things in my body that are good for me and, if I'm restricted in terms of volume, how I want to make sure every ounce is full of nutrients.

Well, as it's getting so spicy in here I might as well weigh in with the things I've been thinking, but daren't say, since the start of the thread.
I'm having my bypass in two days. Over the past six weeks I've been thinking seriously about what happens afterwards and how I need to reset not just my body but my relationship with food.
What leaves me gobsmacked so often here is that I keep seeing threads that basically amount to 'when can I have the same old crap I used to eat and drink again'? Now call me perceptive but, assuming that surgery isn't a magic wand, isn't that exactly what put you in plus size pants the first time? There is a strong link between highly processed food and the incidence of obesity (in fact there is also a correlation between the consumption of artificial sweeteners like those found in 'diet' soft drinks and obesity). Highly processed foods and drinks just aren't that good for you and no one should know that better than people who have grown overweight to the point of major surgery by eating them.
I'm fairly lucky, my diet is mainly fresh and whole foods, my problems have been portion sizes, but this process has made me conscious of how I want to put things in my body that are good for me and, if I'm restricted in terms of volume, how I want to make sure every ounce is full of nutrients.

Doesn't sound weird at all. I feel much the same and asked my surgeon about it - he tells me it's perfectly normal and we're still taking in vastly reduced volumes.

It feels wring because people here, completely understandably, are more likely to be looking for advice or sympathy for problems - and when you read nothing but that they sound like 'normal'. It's important to keep that perspective and try not to worry where you don't need to.

'Burning more than you put in' doesn't lead to starvation mode, it leads to weight, and specifically fat, loss. You'll be able to work out when your body's ready.

It sounds like you've got this eating thing nailed. With that calorific level you will lose weight - period. You may want to think about adding some dairy, in terms of nutritional balance, the Vitamin D and Calcium it gives are important.

Doesn't sound weird at all. I feel much the same and asked my surgeon about it - he tells me it's perfectly normal and we're still taking in vastly reduced volumes.

It feels wring because people here, completely understandably, are more likely to be looking for advice or sympathy for problems - and when you read nothing but that they sound like 'normal'. It's important to keep that perspective and try not to worry where you don't need to.