Deb L

((hugs)) You handled that beautifully! And I think you're a super star for putting yourself in situations where this might occur! I can't bring myself to go to a gym, much less get on a boat for those very reasons! I still will hardly go to a restaurant because people stare at me and look to see what I ordered, or go to the market cuz people check out my cart to see if I have any "fattygirl food." (I order super healthy choices because of that scrutiny.) It was a lot worse when I was most recently at my regain highest of 287lbs, and is getting better now that I'm 238lbs. But I still get those stares that hurt.

Yesterday, I was getting on a boat, for a lovely day out with my wife, when I noticed a little girl kept looking back at me and staring. I braced myself for the innocent comment from a small child that is not intended to hurt, but does nevertheless. Thankfully, she didn't say anything...but she didn't have to..the damage was done. I was once again very conscious of my size.
A few weeks back it happened at the gym when a young girl (maybe 4 y.o.) was staring at my legs...I knew it was coming and sure enough, she then commented to her mom about how big my legs are. (I'm still pre-op)...I very politely told the little girl that she hurt my feelings and it wasn't nice to point out how I'm different. She cried and her mom apologized and thanked me for being willing to teach her child (thank god she didn't get angry). The little girl apologized and I told her I forgave her and it was okay.
I really do get it. They don't often see women with my body shape...so I don't really fault the children...they are just trying to understand something that is very different. But damn it hurts every time... I look forward to the day when I'm just normal fat..I don't even care about thin...I just want to be small enough that children don't make me want to cry anymore.

I am 7 and 1/2 weeks out and I can tell you it will get better! There is also a hormonal component to how lousy you feel.... this too shall pass. You took a step to becoming a heather better version of yourself , I is a wonderful thing!
I would be lying if I said it was all perfect and easy and I would love a beer... but 44llbs later and for the first time in a very long time, Lane Bryant has nothing I fit into!
You will be able to eat much more normally and even go out, I have...
But like you I had huge buyers remorse, and shame for being a failure in my own.
Every day now I remember that no matter how lousy and sad I feel, I felt much worse pre op. You did a good thing

You shouldn't feel bad about speaking your truth. I'm only on the third day of liquid diet before my surgery and I'm about to grab food from my co-workers and shove it in my mouth. I wont because I know it will all be worth it in the end. As for Castaway....I would eat Wilson right now! Our friends were going to my favorite restaurant last night and I wanted to cry. I'm having the same thoughts ,what do I do. Everything we do is around food. What kind of hobbies can we do? I'm praying that it gets easier for you.

Watch TV or movies. Read a book. Play computer games. Sort through your clothes and organize them by sizes . . . what can you get rid of? What's for next month? What's for the month after?
If you're tough, look though recipes on the Internet for down the line. You could even cook, making Bone Broth for now or Soup for later.
When it comes to shopping, how about buying one outfit that's three or four sizes smaller than you are now? Keep it for inspiration--you'll actually wear it eventually!
Hang in there . . . you can do this.

Something I learned from my nutritionist that would have worked for me way before surgery was when I worked out, your muscles need two things: fluids and Protein. So make sure to get in more and more protein before and after you work out. Also, drink lots of fluids (I drink Smart Water or Essentia-both have electrolytes added) so that there will be no water weight, because you are fueling your muscles and body while you're working out. I'm 8 months out and have been weight training and cardio since I was 4 months out. I have not gained any weight whatsoever. Instead, I kept losing. A slower loss, but for the better. I'm so much more toned and fit.

Fluids and protein. The more, the better.

I can't recall one episode where I thought "Damn they're just lazy..." From what I can remember just about all of them have some kind of deep issues going on and have turned to food instead of dealing with their problems and/or emotions... just like the rest of us. Whether or not a person decides they are tired of hurting themselves and want to finally face their fears and deal with the issues they have varies. Some chose to break free of the pain while others dig their heels in, but obviously its not well s/he's just lazy- I mean thats a severely oversimiplified and insensitive statement. That is the attitude people who have never had a weight problem have (sometimes). Just back away from the table... Just put the fork down...If it were that easy none of us would need this surgery that cuts out/removes atleast 80% of the stomach as if the stomach is the problem. (The stomach is just sitting in the body minding its own business doing its job...The problem is the owner of the stomach is constantly stuffing it with food because of what they are dealing with) I hope the show provides counselling/therapy (especially off camera)

Melissa's story on my 600lb life is the reason I got surgery as well. My HW was only 290, but I could see myself in her story and never wanted to get there. It shows the real struggle, including the addiction and failure of the surgery. Sometimes I get SO angry at the people on the show until I put myself in their shoes and realize how hard it is to make the best choices (even after surgery.) whether you're 200lbs or 600, it's still a rotten, horrible feeling to be overweight and have a food addiction. Props to them for being real and brave enough to go on TV.

It's a f**king freak show that people watch and gawk at. I'm surprised you'd want these producers anywhere near this sight.

That's just my opinion.

Thanks for everybody's responses! My dad is more than willing to help get me to and from the hospital as well as pick up any meds for me. He also offered to let me stay at his place but like I said I think I would feel more comfortable on my own couch and my own bed. I'm planning to stock up on the essentials like Protein Shakes and broth so hopefully I won't be required to drive anywhere. I think I'm going to try and tough it out alone but let me dad know I might change my mind if I'm feeling bad when I get released or if I'm experiencing any complications. Hopefully, if I just take things slow and easy (like getting up and down from my bed/couch) then I should be ok, right?? haha I'm just nervous about surgery stuff!

Having weight loss surgery does not mean you are lazy. Being morbidly obese is a life threatening condition. You are seeking a medical solution for a medical problem. Looking at it any other way is counter-productive. You don't need the negativity. Friends who cannot support your decisions to improve yourself are not friends at all. Do what you know is best for you! You have got this!
As for the Protein Shakes, I look at them as a necessary evil. They aren't exactly known for their deliciousness! Some are better than others, but the more important thing is that they meet your nutritional needs. Find something that you can tolerate, has low carbs and high Protein. Mixing up flavors and brands sometimes helps, as you may find you get tired of the same thing all the time. You can try making them at home as well. I definitely think it is a good idea to start drinking them early, just to help yourself get used to them. Plus they are a great way to lose weight on your pre-op diet.
Hope this helps somewhat! Good luck on your journey!

Hello, Mel and welcome!
Do try shakes - but keep in mind your taste may change. It's tough to tell. Mind didn't change a whole lot, but on certain days, I couldn't even open the vanilla powder for fear I would puke!
RE: Friends - I can't offer a lot of advice on that because I didn't tell many people. I told my husband and two teen daughters and two best friends. That was it. Work was just told I had to have a surgical procedure. My mother and my sister don't know because I knew they would be negative. I would suggest you work with your therapist to develop a script to deal with the negative Nancy's you encounter. S/he will be able to help you find something that feels true for your reply.
I'm 56 years old and had surgery August 23, 2016. I'm down 99.5 pounds. And I'm loving life. Best wishes on your journey.

First off, hello! My names Melody and I am from the Texas Panhandle region. I have been reading for a few weeks and hope this is the right place to post this. If not i'll happily delete and move to the right forum.
I've been to my first class but found out that my first appointment with the surgeon is in February. Long way off! Was hoping for sooner but i'll take this chance to learn as much as possible. Trying really hard to see it as a blessing! So far I am doing really well.

Here is some info on me:
I've been overweight my entire adult and teen life. I am now 36 and i'm morbidly obese. Why is that so hard to say? I also am Bi-polar and have severe social anxiety(which it makes it hard for me to post). I have the ok from my PCP and psych doctor. I have type 2 diabetes that has been controlled very well for five + years. My A1c is currently 6.2! I have struggled to lose any weight. I am eating what I should and exercising but the weight just doesn't budge. My PCP and me had a serious discussion and we both brought up WLS and talked it over. We both agreed to get the referral and set out on this long journey.

My questions are pretty mundane.

Do you feel like you have had to let certain friends behind? I am having an issue with my "friends" that are looking down on me for even scheduling the appointment. They think i'm lazy. Also have had friends that seem resentful that I can even get it done(lets face it...it can be turned down at any point so nothing is a guarantee.) I am struggling with this. Not enough to stop this journey. I am finally going to take care of me instead of others first all the time.

Did your taste change drastically? I want to try some of the Protein Shakes and such before my surgery to see if I like them. IS that good idea?

You are all so inspiring!

Hi.. I joined this group several months ago and have lurking ever since. I'm still going through the pre-op process and hope to have my sleeve done in November/December.
My road bike is my happy place and I'll do anything to ride as often as I can which is usually about five days a week. Not being able to drink and eat as often as I need to on a longer ride is very concerning to me as well. I rarely eat at the rest stops anymore unless there's some fruit or Peanut Butter sandwiches, otherwise I bring my own food. Even though I haven't had the surgery yet, I'm trying hard to already start living the lifestyle as someone who has. For the past couple of months, I've been taking a couple pouches of Gerber baby foods (usually the banana flavor) with me.. they're easy to keep in your jersey pocket and don't require refrigeration. There's no sugar added either. As for Protein, I'll bring some peanut butter or beef Jerky too.
I'm so looking forward to being a lighter rider!!

Hi.. I joined this group several months ago and have lurking ever since. I'm still going through the pre-op process and hope to have my sleeve done in November/December.
My road bike is my happy place and I'll do anything to ride as often as I can which is usually about five days a week. Not being able to drink and eat as often as I need to on a longer ride is very concerning to me as well. I rarely eat at the rest stops anymore unless there's some fruit or Peanut Butter sandwiches, otherwise I bring my own food. Even though I haven't had the surgery yet, I'm trying hard to already start living the lifestyle as someone who has. For the past couple of months, I've been taking a couple pouches of Gerber baby foods (usually the banana flavor) with me.. they're easy to keep in your jersey pocket and don't require refrigeration. There's no sugar added either. As for Protein, I'll bring some peanut butter or beef Jerky too.
I'm so looking forward to being a lighter rider!!

Everyone's poop stinks regardless of whether they've had WLS. Name one individual, bariatric surgery patient or otherwise, who defecates crap that smells like roses and honey.
Obesity has a far worse impact on our lives than strong-smelling fecal matter.