Syntax_Attack

I am going to be blunt and say that the picture you paint here is someone without the self-control to be successful long term. If you get the surgery I have no doubt you will lose weight for the first few months, maybe even the first year. But after that I cannot see you staying successful. The types and amount of food you were eating were not just out of hunger, this was out of desire and habit. If you had given into hunger and eaten something even half-way healthy my assessment might be different.
My aunt also had this surgery and has regained all of her weight and then some because of these behaviors. She lost a lot of weight in the first year and then chose to snack throughout the day on very unhealthy items. 3 years later she has paid the price for this and has had an ulcer due to the combination of the surgery and not following the doctors advice.
This is a major problem and one you have to fix BEFORE surgery. After the surgery you will be able to in short order eat things you should not. I was sleeved less than 3 weeks ago and I have no doubt whatsoever that if I chose to I could eat some french fries and they would stay down just fine. Not only have I had the very strong craving for them but I have had people eat them right in front of me in the lunch room at work, and I know full well a 2 minute drive is all it would take for me to run down and get my own. My morning fast food meal would almost always include a McDonalds hash brown and I still crave them every single morning, especially when I have to drive past it every single day.
Self-control and discipline is the only thing standing between success and failure all of us and it will be the same with you. You will be exposed to all of your favorite foods on a nearly daily basis and you will crave them, and you will be physically able to eat them much sooner than you think. I personally think you need to work on your self-control with a professional before you get this surgery, otherwise I fear that you will end up in worse shape in the long run. Good luck.

I am a straight guy who fully supports gay rights. But the reason for that is sometimes men and women are uncomfortable speaking about sensitive gender specific topics with the other sex chiming in. Some guys may want to discuss how the surgery may affect things like erectile dysfunction or "man boobs", perhaps some women are uncomfortable discussing their menstrual cycle or changes to their breasts or genital areas. Some people aren't uncomfortable with it and that is fine but others are, and if you are going to have the guys/gals only forum rooms I think it would be better if they were locked down.

Not buying into nonsense isn't bigotry, it is just accepting reality. With the exception of those incredibly rare individuals who are born with a genetic intersex condition everyone is either male or female. You can't change your gender any more than you can change your age, race, or species. If this offends some people so be it but it is not bigotry to refuse to play along with someone's delusions.

LMAO, wow just wow.

I can't speak for the women's forum as I don't look at it but as far as the men's forum there are some who don't care. For example these are parts of replies were posted on a fairly sensitive subject for the OP.

Obviously some people simply don't care or respect the posters in the gender specific rooms and I think that this discourages people from posting. This is probably a major reason the Guys forum is all but dead. I am sure the opposite happens in the Gals forum and of course would be just as rude but I think locking the forums down is the best solution.

A good reason for women to support the change as well (hence me asking for both to be locked down and not just the men's room)! I am sure it can be just as annoying for the gals as it is the guys. But yes there are posts where the women explicitly state that they know it is the men's forum but don't care.

I would like to post on some more private topics in the guys room but the females cannot seem to keep out of it and enjoy butting in, even on posts specifically labeled as male only. PLEASE lock down the gender specific rooms and posts by gender! As we have a gender option on our profiles this should be fairly easy to do and would probably encourage more participation.

I chose the sleeve due to the fact that I wanted to keep things as "normal" as possible after I recovered. I wanted to be able to be able to get most of my nutrients in the long run from my food and be less reliant on supplements. Also for my particular problem with food (which was, to put it simply, eating A LOT at meals as opposed to lots of in between meal snacking or emotional eating) this was a good fit.
As far as telling people I was very open with anybody who asked about it and really didn't run into anybody who was discouraging, but I am also very thick skinned so it wouldn't have bothered me anyway. But that is a personal choice that you will have to make, some people decide to only tell their spouse/family and that is what works best for them.

I am going to be blunt and say that the picture you paint here is someone without the self-control to be successful long term. If you get the surgery I have no doubt you will lose weight for the first few months, maybe even the first year. But after that I cannot see you staying successful. The types and amount of food you were eating were not just out of hunger, this was out of desire and habit. If you had given into hunger and eaten something even half-way healthy my assessment might be different.
My aunt also had this surgery and has regained all of her weight and then some because of these behaviors. She lost a lot of weight in the first year and then chose to snack throughout the day on very unhealthy items. 3 years later she has paid the price for this and has had an ulcer due to the combination of the surgery and not following the doctors advice.
This is a major problem and one you have to fix BEFORE surgery. After the surgery you will be able to in short order eat things you should not. I was sleeved less than 3 weeks ago and I have no doubt whatsoever that if I chose to I could eat some french fries and they would stay down just fine. Not only have I had the very strong craving for them but I have had people eat them right in front of me in the lunch room at work, and I know full well a 2 minute drive is all it would take for me to run down and get my own. My morning fast food meal would almost always include a McDonalds hash brown and I still crave them every single morning, especially when I have to drive past it every single day.
Self-control and discipline is the only thing standing between success and failure all of us and it will be the same with you. You will be exposed to all of your favorite foods on a nearly daily basis and you will crave them, and you will be physically able to eat them much sooner than you think. I personally think you need to work on your self-control with a professional before you get this surgery, otherwise I fear that you will end up in worse shape in the long run. Good luck.

I am going to be blunt and say that the picture you paint here is someone without the self-control to be successful long term. If you get the surgery I have no doubt you will lose weight for the first few months, maybe even the first year. But after that I cannot see you staying successful. The types and amount of food you were eating were not just out of hunger, this was out of desire and habit. If you had given into hunger and eaten something even half-way healthy my assessment might be different.
My aunt also had this surgery and has regained all of her weight and then some because of these behaviors. She lost a lot of weight in the first year and then chose to snack throughout the day on very unhealthy items. 3 years later she has paid the price for this and has had an ulcer due to the combination of the surgery and not following the doctors advice.
This is a major problem and one you have to fix BEFORE surgery. After the surgery you will be able to in short order eat things you should not. I was sleeved less than 3 weeks ago and I have no doubt whatsoever that if I chose to I could eat some french fries and they would stay down just fine. Not only have I had the very strong craving for them but I have had people eat them right in front of me in the lunch room at work, and I know full well a 2 minute drive is all it would take for me to run down and get my own. My morning fast food meal would almost always include a McDonalds hash brown and I still crave them every single morning, especially when I have to drive past it every single day.
Self-control and discipline is the only thing standing between success and failure all of us and it will be the same with you. You will be exposed to all of your favorite foods on a nearly daily basis and you will crave them, and you will be physically able to eat them much sooner than you think. I personally think you need to work on your self-control with a professional before you get this surgery, otherwise I fear that you will end up in worse shape in the long run. Good luck.

As a military veteran myself I have to say go get a second opinion. I am sure that the VA psych is very tuned in to anything that can increase suicidality since it is as you know a huge issue in the Veteran community. However this doesn't seem like someone that has a lot of experience with these types of cases. Go to your weight loss clinic (if you are doing this through the VA go to a civilian one) and ask for their list of recommended providers that can give you the required psych clearance. If you think that your VA doc might have had at least somewhat of a legitimate concern you can even ask that the civ and VA doc discuss this to address any legitimate issues. If you go with a weight loss clinics recommended doctor they should have a lot of experience and can address any concerns your VA doc has. Good Luck.

I am going to be blunt and say that the picture you paint here is someone without the self-control to be successful long term. If you get the surgery I have no doubt you will lose weight for the first few months, maybe even the first year. But after that I cannot see you staying successful. The types and amount of food you were eating were not just out of hunger, this was out of desire and habit. If you had given into hunger and eaten something even half-way healthy my assessment might be different.
My aunt also had this surgery and has regained all of her weight and then some because of these behaviors. She lost a lot of weight in the first year and then chose to snack throughout the day on very unhealthy items. 3 years later she has paid the price for this and has had an ulcer due to the combination of the surgery and not following the doctors advice.
This is a major problem and one you have to fix BEFORE surgery. After the surgery you will be able to in short order eat things you should not. I was sleeved less than 3 weeks ago and I have no doubt whatsoever that if I chose to I could eat some french fries and they would stay down just fine. Not only have I had the very strong craving for them but I have had people eat them right in front of me in the lunch room at work, and I know full well a 2 minute drive is all it would take for me to run down and get my own. My morning fast food meal would almost always include a McDonalds hash brown and I still crave them every single morning, especially when I have to drive past it every single day.
Self-control and discipline is the only thing standing between success and failure all of us and it will be the same with you. You will be exposed to all of your favorite foods on a nearly daily basis and you will crave them, and you will be physically able to eat them much sooner than you think. I personally think you need to work on your self-control with a professional before you get this surgery, otherwise I fear that you will end up in worse shape in the long run. Good luck.

I’m a ‘closet atheist/agnostic’ right now (my close friends are aware of my beliefs but I haven’t told my family, mainly because I don’t feel like dealing with the fallout from my super religious brother and sister-in-law and my mom, who attend a super culty mega church). But I don’t care if someone prays for me. I asked a group of friends for good thoughts before my surgery, or if they prayed, I’d welcome those as well because I know it’s how they express their caring. It’s a part of them. It doesn’t affect me a whit.

It’s the same reason I say ‘Merry Christmas’ to Christian family and friends, Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish friends, Happy Ramadan to my Muslim friends, and Happy Festivus to my atheist friends 😂. I respect them. As long as they don’t show disdain for my beliefs, I can show respect for theirs.

I am an atheist as well and I not only don't take offense I say "Thank You". Why would I get upset? The person is simply wishing me well in the most sincere and profound way that they know how. Moreover what is there even to get upset about? It is not an insult or them trying to upset me in any way shape or form. If you do get upset about this then I think that says more about your personal insecurities than anything else. Suck it up buttercup!

sugar free ice pops were a godsend for me.

I am going to be blunt and say that the picture you paint here is someone without the self-control to be successful long term. If you get the surgery I have no doubt you will lose weight for the first few months, maybe even the first year. But after that I cannot see you staying successful. The types and amount of food you were eating were not just out of hunger, this was out of desire and habit. If you had given into hunger and eaten something even half-way healthy my assessment might be different.
My aunt also had this surgery and has regained all of her weight and then some because of these behaviors. She lost a lot of weight in the first year and then chose to snack throughout the day on very unhealthy items. 3 years later she has paid the price for this and has had an ulcer due to the combination of the surgery and not following the doctors advice.
This is a major problem and one you have to fix BEFORE surgery. After the surgery you will be able to in short order eat things you should not. I was sleeved less than 3 weeks ago and I have no doubt whatsoever that if I chose to I could eat some french fries and they would stay down just fine. Not only have I had the very strong craving for them but I have had people eat them right in front of me in the lunch room at work, and I know full well a 2 minute drive is all it would take for me to run down and get my own. My morning fast food meal would almost always include a McDonalds hash brown and I still crave them every single morning, especially when I have to drive past it every single day.
Self-control and discipline is the only thing standing between success and failure all of us and it will be the same with you. You will be exposed to all of your favorite foods on a nearly daily basis and you will crave them, and you will be physically able to eat them much sooner than you think. I personally think you need to work on your self-control with a professional before you get this surgery, otherwise I fear that you will end up in worse shape in the long run. Good luck.

I am glad you were honest with your surgery team and didn't get it cancelled altogether. I would definitely use this time to see a therapist as well that can help you with the self control issues. Better to work to get it right now than struggle with it after the surgery. Please keep us updated.

I am going to be blunt and say that the picture you paint here is someone without the self-control to be successful long term. If you get the surgery I have no doubt you will lose weight for the first few months, maybe even the first year. But after that I cannot see you staying successful. The types and amount of food you were eating were not just out of hunger, this was out of desire and habit. If you had given into hunger and eaten something even half-way healthy my assessment might be different.
My aunt also had this surgery and has regained all of her weight and then some because of these behaviors. She lost a lot of weight in the first year and then chose to snack throughout the day on very unhealthy items. 3 years later she has paid the price for this and has had an ulcer due to the combination of the surgery and not following the doctors advice.
This is a major problem and one you have to fix BEFORE surgery. After the surgery you will be able to in short order eat things you should not. I was sleeved less than 3 weeks ago and I have no doubt whatsoever that if I chose to I could eat some french fries and they would stay down just fine. Not only have I had the very strong craving for them but I have had people eat them right in front of me in the lunch room at work, and I know full well a 2 minute drive is all it would take for me to run down and get my own. My morning fast food meal would almost always include a McDonalds hash brown and I still crave them every single morning, especially when I have to drive past it every single day.
Self-control and discipline is the only thing standing between success and failure all of us and it will be the same with you. You will be exposed to all of your favorite foods on a nearly daily basis and you will crave them, and you will be physically able to eat them much sooner than you think. I personally think you need to work on your self-control with a professional before you get this surgery, otherwise I fear that you will end up in worse shape in the long run. Good luck.

And if you have no problem with that then there are all of the other forums, where most people do post their questions when they want that insight. But sometimes people are uncomfortable with discussing intimate details with members of the opposite sex and that is what these spaces are supposed to be for.

sugar free ice pops were a godsend for me.

I was sleeved on 5/21. Highest weight was 315lbs, surgery day weight was 308lbs. Today I am down to 275lbs, so that makes my loss since surgery 33lbs in under 3 weeks.

sugar free ice pops were a godsend for me.

When you feel like this try a hobby or exercise. If you don't have a hobby try picking one up. I find getting out in nature is a great way to bring yourself some calm. When I am out in the woods or down at the creek it is so peaceful and beautiful it is like being in heaven on earth for me. I recommend finding a local nature trail or better yet a creek. Go somewhere that if you look around you see nothing but nature and spend time there. Doing something like fishing while you are out also makes it just that much better, it keeps you occupied while you are out surrounded by nature. I could spend a lifetime just at my local creek and it is the best cure for whatever my problems are. I highly recommend it.

If you "locked them down" people could just change their gender if they wanted to look. Or look at them as unregistered members. Or decide not to list their gender at all.
I dunno...no one's in eighth grade. "Girls Keep Out" and "Boys Keep Out" signs belong on tree forts and angsty middle schooler bedroom doors, in my opinion. just seems weird and offputting for adults to do this in 2018. To me, anyway.
But, clearly some other folks like them. So what do we do?
Ultimately, it's Alex's board. So he, alone, gets to make the call.
Either way the chips fall on this particular issue....I'm not sure I care. Gender based boards seem absurd to me, but whatever.
I do have to wonder what the people who use these kinds of boards will do...when they draw an opposite sex doctor at the emergency room...since..ya know...saying something anatomical within earshot of the opposite gender might cause the world to end. LOL. I also wonder how these folks get married?
Maybe it's a generational thing or a cultural construct that doesn't touch my world....but yeah....this whole boy/girl thing seems bizarre to me.
Would really suck for a transsexual to be denied access to the gender room they most identify with. And what about people who don't experience gender? or all the other variations of folks who don't experience cisnormative gender identity? Big can of civil liberties worms to put your foot in if you're an internet entrepreneur.

That’s amazing! I’m down 23 (starting weight 262) you’re doing great!