Little Green

I'm pre-op and other than the strategic few I have told already (husband, parents, a couple of close friends), I will probably keep mum for now. I want to limit the advice and opinions I receive to only those from people I personally choose to have in my pre-op squad. But, after surgery I will be willing to tell people because I think there is no way to get rid of the stigma without talking about it. Only when people can see up close the amount of work and sweat that goes into the WLS lifestyle will they start to lose the "you took the easy way out" mindset.
Now, I don't think every single WLS patient needs to be that ambassador. But I personally see myself taking on that role because I'm really good at educating people through communication & conversation - people are used to me being on my soapbox

I'm pre-op and other than the strategic few I have told already (husband, parents, a couple of close friends), I will probably keep mum for now. I want to limit the advice and opinions I receive to only those from people I personally choose to have in my pre-op squad. But, after surgery I will be willing to tell people because I think there is no way to get rid of the stigma without talking about it. Only when people can see up close the amount of work and sweat that goes into the WLS lifestyle will they start to lose the "you took the easy way out" mindset.
Now, I don't think every single WLS patient needs to be that ambassador. But I personally see myself taking on that role because I'm really good at educating people through communication & conversation - people are used to me being on my soapbox

Because men have never been known to be shallow or picky. What a glorious time to be alive.

It sounds to me like the women you are approaching are too ugly on the inside. Not all women are like that! Keep looking and you'll find one worthy of you.

I'm vertically challenged at 5'1 so my original goal weight was 110 pounds, which would have placed me at a very normal BMI of 20 and into single-digit clothing sizes.
At three months post-op I adjusted my goal upward to 130. The weight was coming off at a painfully slow rate of about 5 to 6 pounds monthly, so I thought I'd never make it to my original goal.
I reached my revised goal of 130 pounds at 14 months out. My surgery day weight was 218, so I decided to lose a nicely even 100 pounds by getting to a body weight of 118. 118 pounds was my new goal.
It took another 4 months to lose the additional 12 pounds to get to 118. I've been maintaining this body weight without a great deal of effort while eating in the ballpark of 2000 calories daily. This is the first time in my adult life I've been weight-stable. I wear a size 4 and enjoy life as a normal-weight person.

It depends on what you eat. And lets face it: poop usually doesn't smell good anyway.

Everyone's poop stinks regardless of whether they've had WLS. Name one individual, bariatric surgery patient or otherwise, who defecates crap that smells like roses and honey.
Obesity has a far worse impact on our lives than strong-smelling fecal matter.

No, I'm sorry, it really won't. In fact, in our program people who binge eat are not approved for surgery whatsoever until they have their binge eating under control first. (I believe one woman in my support group said she needed to be six+ months free of a binging episode before being allowed to sign?) If you are a true compulsive overeater and binger, surgery will NOT fix those compulsions... and you could wind up badly hurting yourself!
Of course, I'm talking about true compulsive overeating binging, which is a serious psychological issue and a genuine eating disorder not "I went to a Pasta joint and ate SO MUCH BREADSTICKS AND THEN HAD SPAGHETTI!" which of course ain't great for you and often makes you feel like poop on a stick, but isn't the same thing as binge eating disorder either.
In the second case surgery will definitely limit your appetite and portion sizes to a given extent.
As for the sweets, nope, there's really no guarantee it's going to help with that. My first few weeks out I couldn't stand anything sweet whatsoever, but my sweet tooth is definitely back now! Some people experience dumping syndrome when they eat sweets, which can work as negative reinforcement, but it's not for all sweet foods and it often goes away the farther out from surgery you are.
Surgery is an amazingly powerful and life-changing tool, but it has limits. There are some things the surgery can really help with, but other things we must work on and fix ourselves.

I know many of the high BMI patients through our program, in order to get down to a surgery-safe weight, will go on a medically supervised diet called Optifast. They also are prescribed Saxenda injections. The goal of these programs isn't the "lifelong changes to diet and exercise" piece that they'll ultimately have to incorporate eventually, but straight up "lose as much weight as possible as fast as possible so you can get onto that surgery table safely and continue treatment".
Maybe ask about either of those options? A high BMI puts you at high surgical risk, but it hardly seems a fair alternative to just say "welp either magically lose 90 pounds or don't bother" without any of the comprehensive support you need to HELP you lose those 90 lbs. You need this, you know you need this, you DESERVE this chance... now just to find you a program that is willing to help you get there in a safe and realistic way.
Does your insurance cover exercise therapists or physio? With your pain levels I do NOT blame you for not exercising, and honestly wouldn't recommend you just jump out and "do it anyway" even if you thought you could. It sounds to me like having a professional guide you with appropriate movement that will not further injure your body would be the best bet.
Some bariatric programs are literally just throw you into surgery sink or swim, but other programs are more holistic in their approach. I know ours hooks people up with classes, with a psychologist and therapy, a registered dietician, an exercise therapist, a social worker if need be... Surgery for many people really needs to be one aspect of care, not the be all and end all. It's just a matter of finding a clinic that provides that level of care.

Months 1 through 3 = about 800 kcals/day
Months 4 through 6 = about 1000 to 1200 kcals/day
Months 7 through 9 = about 1200 to 1500 kcals/day
By 12 months out = about 1700 kcals/day
By 18 months out = 1800 to 2200 kcals/day
I purposely increased my caloric intake in a stepwise pattern per the suggestion of a veteran who once posted on this site frequently. While this tactic may have led to slower weight loss, I am thrilled about being able to maintain a body weight of 118 to 120 pounds on 2000+ calories daily.
I suspect the incremental increases in my caloric intake helped preserve my metabolism.

I've thought about this because many people in my (non-WLS) weight loss online communities talk about going through this. They say they start getting it even when they are still considered obese! I'm not sure how I will handle it if it happens to me, although I'd like to think I'd just be super sincere and say, "No, I actually still weigh 220 pounds! I've got 50+ pounds to go. Isn't that crazy?!" to make them feel bad for asking. In real life I will probably stutter and make an awkward comment... LOL!

I'm so glad to read this thread and see that there are still a bunch of "vets" out there sticking around for us newbs! Thank you SO much - I love to read through archives, but I know I will need plenty of current peeps around to answer my own questions, too. I JUST joined the site in December, and read a ton of stuff, but somehow I missed the kerfuffle a few weeks ago. I came back the last few days and noticed while reading through threads that people's profile photos were gone, names weren't "clickable," etc. I was so confused until I finally found Alex's post that explained it so I'm more in the loop now!

I have to say, I'm new to this forum but not to forums in general. I tend to see it both ways... on any forum there is usually a core group of vets (or "regs" as they are usually called) that make up the bulk of the posting and set the terms of the culture. They tend to see it as "their" board because of the time they dedicate to posting and building a community. Unfortunately sometimes the culture that builds up isn't exactly what the board admins want, particularly if the board is part of a bigger brand. One of the forums I'm a member of dealt with this issue by just removing the link to the forums from their website altogether. LOL. It's kinda funny, actually, we hardly ever get new members anymore which cuts down on the drama! Better for the blood pressure, bad for the gossip factor.
Anyway, even being out of the loop of the "regs" I did notice some extremely presumptive tough-love going around... I'm sure it gets old for the vets to say the same thing multiple times but part of being a member of a forum is realizing how many people never read a single thing before posting - they have a question, they register an account, they post the question. They don't know that four posts down you just told someone the same darn thing for the umpteenth time this week. So, jumping down someone's throat right away simply for asking a question (even if it's, admittedly, a stupid or reckless one) tends to create drama and then people choose sides and jump in to argue it until the house burns down. Believe me, I'm very used to a blunt tone from my previous forum experience and even I had to raise my eyebrows multiple times per visit to BP. That said, I appreciated the actual message of the tough love even if I thought the tone was overly aggressive, and I feel I am armed much better for the battle to come because of those posts.
However, I also think it's Alex's prerogative to call the shots, particularly as he is a WLS professional with colleagues in the medical community. Protecting your brand is very important - it's not just about your revenue but your goodwill and reputation in the particular community you are trying to reach out to. I cringed when I read that some of his colleagues remarked about the negative feedback they had heard from patients about BP. Ouch... there's too much invested into this website to allow that to continue. He makes the rules and we have to play by them. And, I personally did not see reading the PM's as a big deal - but, that is maybe because I am a longtime redditor, where there is absolutely no expectation of privacy from the admins.
So, like I said, I see it both ways. I see why people were upset and left, and I see why Alex put his foot down. I'm sad that there was a mass exodus of knowledgeable people - but I am so glad to read this post and realized many of you have stayed, and maybe we can use the kerfuffle as a reset button to build up another great, solid community here.
Thanks for letting me ramble!

I'm so glad to read this thread and see that there are still a bunch of "vets" out there sticking around for us newbs! Thank you SO much - I love to read through archives, but I know I will need plenty of current peeps around to answer my own questions, too. I JUST joined the site in December, and read a ton of stuff, but somehow I missed the kerfuffle a few weeks ago. I came back the last few days and noticed while reading through threads that people's profile photos were gone, names weren't "clickable," etc. I was so confused until I finally found Alex's post that explained it so I'm more in the loop now!

I have to say, I'm new to this forum but not to forums in general. I tend to see it both ways... on any forum there is usually a core group of vets (or "regs" as they are usually called) that make up the bulk of the posting and set the terms of the culture. They tend to see it as "their" board because of the time they dedicate to posting and building a community. Unfortunately sometimes the culture that builds up isn't exactly what the board admins want, particularly if the board is part of a bigger brand. One of the forums I'm a member of dealt with this issue by just removing the link to the forums from their website altogether. LOL. It's kinda funny, actually, we hardly ever get new members anymore which cuts down on the drama! Better for the blood pressure, bad for the gossip factor.
Anyway, even being out of the loop of the "regs" I did notice some extremely presumptive tough-love going around... I'm sure it gets old for the vets to say the same thing multiple times but part of being a member of a forum is realizing how many people never read a single thing before posting - they have a question, they register an account, they post the question. They don't know that four posts down you just told someone the same darn thing for the umpteenth time this week. So, jumping down someone's throat right away simply for asking a question (even if it's, admittedly, a stupid or reckless one) tends to create drama and then people choose sides and jump in to argue it until the house burns down. Believe me, I'm very used to a blunt tone from my previous forum experience and even I had to raise my eyebrows multiple times per visit to BP. That said, I appreciated the actual message of the tough love even if I thought the tone was overly aggressive, and I feel I am armed much better for the battle to come because of those posts.
However, I also think it's Alex's prerogative to call the shots, particularly as he is a WLS professional with colleagues in the medical community. Protecting your brand is very important - it's not just about your revenue but your goodwill and reputation in the particular community you are trying to reach out to. I cringed when I read that some of his colleagues remarked about the negative feedback they had heard from patients about BP. Ouch... there's too much invested into this website to allow that to continue. He makes the rules and we have to play by them. And, I personally did not see reading the PM's as a big deal - but, that is maybe because I am a longtime redditor, where there is absolutely no expectation of privacy from the admins.
So, like I said, I see it both ways. I see why people were upset and left, and I see why Alex put his foot down. I'm sad that there was a mass exodus of knowledgeable people - but I am so glad to read this post and realized many of you have stayed, and maybe we can use the kerfuffle as a reset button to build up another great, solid community here.
Thanks for letting me ramble!

I'm not on here much as most of you are pre surgery or going through the weight loss process. I do pop up now and then just to let you know what's doing in terms of living life post WLS.
I'm four years post surgery and have been in maintenance for about 2 1/2 years. When I do come on the boards, I see posts about what to eat, what not to eat, how much weight has been lost, how much has been gained, and other similar topics. When I was in the early stages of my weight loss journey, i read and posted alot regarding those same issues. Now that I'm further out, I don't focus on the details...I just focus on living my life as a normal sized person with all that entails.
I just wanted to post these two pictures to show the new folks that you can be successful with weight loss. Know that while I'm smiling in the before and after pictures, I was not happy in the before shots because of the issues surrounding my obesity. Also know that I have been, and am still in therapy to address my food addiction and the root causes of my obesity. It's my path and know that I'm not advocating that this should be part of yours.
Again, I'm here just as a reminder that once the newness is over, the weight loss is done, and the emotions settle down....this is the reason I had the surgery. It's about health, mobility, and living my life rather than watching from the sidelines.

I'm so glad to read this thread and see that there are still a bunch of "vets" out there sticking around for us newbs! Thank you SO much - I love to read through archives, but I know I will need plenty of current peeps around to answer my own questions, too. I JUST joined the site in December, and read a ton of stuff, but somehow I missed the kerfuffle a few weeks ago. I came back the last few days and noticed while reading through threads that people's profile photos were gone, names weren't "clickable," etc. I was so confused until I finally found Alex's post that explained it so I'm more in the loop now!

I have to say, I'm new to this forum but not to forums in general. I tend to see it both ways... on any forum there is usually a core group of vets (or "regs" as they are usually called) that make up the bulk of the posting and set the terms of the culture. They tend to see it as "their" board because of the time they dedicate to posting and building a community. Unfortunately sometimes the culture that builds up isn't exactly what the board admins want, particularly if the board is part of a bigger brand. One of the forums I'm a member of dealt with this issue by just removing the link to the forums from their website altogether. LOL. It's kinda funny, actually, we hardly ever get new members anymore which cuts down on the drama! Better for the blood pressure, bad for the gossip factor.
Anyway, even being out of the loop of the "regs" I did notice some extremely presumptive tough-love going around... I'm sure it gets old for the vets to say the same thing multiple times but part of being a member of a forum is realizing how many people never read a single thing before posting - they have a question, they register an account, they post the question. They don't know that four posts down you just told someone the same darn thing for the umpteenth time this week. So, jumping down someone's throat right away simply for asking a question (even if it's, admittedly, a stupid or reckless one) tends to create drama and then people choose sides and jump in to argue it until the house burns down. Believe me, I'm very used to a blunt tone from my previous forum experience and even I had to raise my eyebrows multiple times per visit to BP. That said, I appreciated the actual message of the tough love even if I thought the tone was overly aggressive, and I feel I am armed much better for the battle to come because of those posts.
However, I also think it's Alex's prerogative to call the shots, particularly as he is a WLS professional with colleagues in the medical community. Protecting your brand is very important - it's not just about your revenue but your goodwill and reputation in the particular community you are trying to reach out to. I cringed when I read that some of his colleagues remarked about the negative feedback they had heard from patients about BP. Ouch... there's too much invested into this website to allow that to continue. He makes the rules and we have to play by them. And, I personally did not see reading the PM's as a big deal - but, that is maybe because I am a longtime redditor, where there is absolutely no expectation of privacy from the admins.
So, like I said, I see it both ways. I see why people were upset and left, and I see why Alex put his foot down. I'm sad that there was a mass exodus of knowledgeable people - but I am so glad to read this post and realized many of you have stayed, and maybe we can use the kerfuffle as a reset button to build up another great, solid community here.
Thanks for letting me ramble!

I recommend the IUD. It's the most effective, has a low rate of complication, and you can take it out any time with a simple office visit when you & your partner decide you're ready for another child (and no waiting period to let your hormones regulate like with BC). I have Mirena and between that and PCOS, I have not had a regular period in years. It's awesome lol. Mirena is known to lighten or stop periods. The medical literature included with the IUD said it's only about 20% of people but literally everyone I know who has Mirena has had lighter or no periods, so YMMV.
I don't recommend the copper IUD if you already have a heavy flow b/c it's known to make periods and cramps worse.

I got the lapband in 2013 and had some mild success but due to other complications I ended up with all my Fluid removed about a year ago. In that year, I've put on some serious weight and am now sitting at 330. I am 28 and recently married so as my husband and I talk about our future and kids, I can't help but panic. Between my PCOS, current weight and only one ovary, I believe that I will have an extremely hard time getting pregnant, let alone being healthy enough to carry the child to the full 40 weeks without complications.
I have an appointment with a bariatric surgeon on Monday and they offer both the sleeve and bypass.
I am still very undecided about which surgery would be the best option for me. I am terrified that the sleeve won't produce the results that I need to shock me into a healthy lifestyle permanently. I'm also terrified of the dumping syndrome or malnutrition if I do the bypass. But also, from what I've read the dumping syndrome is a good thing? Which just kind of confuses me.
Moving forward, I know I don't have the option to fail or 'cheat' post-op with either of these surgeries because it's my future potential family on the line, my world is more than just me now so I can't be selfish or self-destructive with my eating.
So what I'd love is all the advice that everyone has to offer. Informative articles, experiences, thoughts and opinions are all welcomed here! Thank you in advance!

I'm so glad to read this thread and see that there are still a bunch of "vets" out there sticking around for us newbs! Thank you SO much - I love to read through archives, but I know I will need plenty of current peeps around to answer my own questions, too. I JUST joined the site in December, and read a ton of stuff, but somehow I missed the kerfuffle a few weeks ago. I came back the last few days and noticed while reading through threads that people's profile photos were gone, names weren't "clickable," etc. I was so confused until I finally found Alex's post that explained it so I'm more in the loop now!

I have to say, I'm new to this forum but not to forums in general. I tend to see it both ways... on any forum there is usually a core group of vets (or "regs" as they are usually called) that make up the bulk of the posting and set the terms of the culture. They tend to see it as "their" board because of the time they dedicate to posting and building a community. Unfortunately sometimes the culture that builds up isn't exactly what the board admins want, particularly if the board is part of a bigger brand. One of the forums I'm a member of dealt with this issue by just removing the link to the forums from their website altogether. LOL. It's kinda funny, actually, we hardly ever get new members anymore which cuts down on the drama! Better for the blood pressure, bad for the gossip factor.
Anyway, even being out of the loop of the "regs" I did notice some extremely presumptive tough-love going around... I'm sure it gets old for the vets to say the same thing multiple times but part of being a member of a forum is realizing how many people never read a single thing before posting - they have a question, they register an account, they post the question. They don't know that four posts down you just told someone the same darn thing for the umpteenth time this week. So, jumping down someone's throat right away simply for asking a question (even if it's, admittedly, a stupid or reckless one) tends to create drama and then people choose sides and jump in to argue it until the house burns down. Believe me, I'm very used to a blunt tone from my previous forum experience and even I had to raise my eyebrows multiple times per visit to BP. That said, I appreciated the actual message of the tough love even if I thought the tone was overly aggressive, and I feel I am armed much better for the battle to come because of those posts.
However, I also think it's Alex's prerogative to call the shots, particularly as he is a WLS professional with colleagues in the medical community. Protecting your brand is very important - it's not just about your revenue but your goodwill and reputation in the particular community you are trying to reach out to. I cringed when I read that some of his colleagues remarked about the negative feedback they had heard from patients about BP. Ouch... there's too much invested into this website to allow that to continue. He makes the rules and we have to play by them. And, I personally did not see reading the PM's as a big deal - but, that is maybe because I am a longtime redditor, where there is absolutely no expectation of privacy from the admins.
So, like I said, I see it both ways. I see why people were upset and left, and I see why Alex put his foot down. I'm sad that there was a mass exodus of knowledgeable people - but I am so glad to read this post and realized many of you have stayed, and maybe we can use the kerfuffle as a reset button to build up another great, solid community here.
Thanks for letting me ramble!

I'm so glad to read this thread and see that there are still a bunch of "vets" out there sticking around for us newbs! Thank you SO much - I love to read through archives, but I know I will need plenty of current peeps around to answer my own questions, too. I JUST joined the site in December, and read a ton of stuff, but somehow I missed the kerfuffle a few weeks ago. I came back the last few days and noticed while reading through threads that people's profile photos were gone, names weren't "clickable," etc. I was so confused until I finally found Alex's post that explained it so I'm more in the loop now!

I have to say, I'm new to this forum but not to forums in general. I tend to see it both ways... on any forum there is usually a core group of vets (or "regs" as they are usually called) that make up the bulk of the posting and set the terms of the culture. They tend to see it as "their" board because of the time they dedicate to posting and building a community. Unfortunately sometimes the culture that builds up isn't exactly what the board admins want, particularly if the board is part of a bigger brand. One of the forums I'm a member of dealt with this issue by just removing the link to the forums from their website altogether. LOL. It's kinda funny, actually, we hardly ever get new members anymore which cuts down on the drama! Better for the blood pressure, bad for the gossip factor.
Anyway, even being out of the loop of the "regs" I did notice some extremely presumptive tough-love going around... I'm sure it gets old for the vets to say the same thing multiple times but part of being a member of a forum is realizing how many people never read a single thing before posting - they have a question, they register an account, they post the question. They don't know that four posts down you just told someone the same darn thing for the umpteenth time this week. So, jumping down someone's throat right away simply for asking a question (even if it's, admittedly, a stupid or reckless one) tends to create drama and then people choose sides and jump in to argue it until the house burns down. Believe me, I'm very used to a blunt tone from my previous forum experience and even I had to raise my eyebrows multiple times per visit to BP. That said, I appreciated the actual message of the tough love even if I thought the tone was overly aggressive, and I feel I am armed much better for the battle to come because of those posts.
However, I also think it's Alex's prerogative to call the shots, particularly as he is a WLS professional with colleagues in the medical community. Protecting your brand is very important - it's not just about your revenue but your goodwill and reputation in the particular community you are trying to reach out to. I cringed when I read that some of his colleagues remarked about the negative feedback they had heard from patients about BP. Ouch... there's too much invested into this website to allow that to continue. He makes the rules and we have to play by them. And, I personally did not see reading the PM's as a big deal - but, that is maybe because I am a longtime redditor, where there is absolutely no expectation of privacy from the admins.
So, like I said, I see it both ways. I see why people were upset and left, and I see why Alex put his foot down. I'm sad that there was a mass exodus of knowledgeable people - but I am so glad to read this post and realized many of you have stayed, and maybe we can use the kerfuffle as a reset button to build up another great, solid community here.
Thanks for letting me ramble!

I'm so glad to read this thread and see that there are still a bunch of "vets" out there sticking around for us newbs! Thank you SO much - I love to read through archives, but I know I will need plenty of current peeps around to answer my own questions, too. I JUST joined the site in December, and read a ton of stuff, but somehow I missed the kerfuffle a few weeks ago. I came back the last few days and noticed while reading through threads that people's profile photos were gone, names weren't "clickable," etc. I was so confused until I finally found Alex's post that explained it so I'm more in the loop now!

I have to say, I'm new to this forum but not to forums in general. I tend to see it both ways... on any forum there is usually a core group of vets (or "regs" as they are usually called) that make up the bulk of the posting and set the terms of the culture. They tend to see it as "their" board because of the time they dedicate to posting and building a community. Unfortunately sometimes the culture that builds up isn't exactly what the board admins want, particularly if the board is part of a bigger brand. One of the forums I'm a member of dealt with this issue by just removing the link to the forums from their website altogether. LOL. It's kinda funny, actually, we hardly ever get new members anymore which cuts down on the drama! Better for the blood pressure, bad for the gossip factor.
Anyway, even being out of the loop of the "regs" I did notice some extremely presumptive tough-love going around... I'm sure it gets old for the vets to say the same thing multiple times but part of being a member of a forum is realizing how many people never read a single thing before posting - they have a question, they register an account, they post the question. They don't know that four posts down you just told someone the same darn thing for the umpteenth time this week. So, jumping down someone's throat right away simply for asking a question (even if it's, admittedly, a stupid or reckless one) tends to create drama and then people choose sides and jump in to argue it until the house burns down. Believe me, I'm very used to a blunt tone from my previous forum experience and even I had to raise my eyebrows multiple times per visit to BP. That said, I appreciated the actual message of the tough love even if I thought the tone was overly aggressive, and I feel I am armed much better for the battle to come because of those posts.
However, I also think it's Alex's prerogative to call the shots, particularly as he is a WLS professional with colleagues in the medical community. Protecting your brand is very important - it's not just about your revenue but your goodwill and reputation in the particular community you are trying to reach out to. I cringed when I read that some of his colleagues remarked about the negative feedback they had heard from patients about BP. Ouch... there's too much invested into this website to allow that to continue. He makes the rules and we have to play by them. And, I personally did not see reading the PM's as a big deal - but, that is maybe because I am a longtime redditor, where there is absolutely no expectation of privacy from the admins.
So, like I said, I see it both ways. I see why people were upset and left, and I see why Alex put his foot down. I'm sad that there was a mass exodus of knowledgeable people - but I am so glad to read this post and realized many of you have stayed, and maybe we can use the kerfuffle as a reset button to build up another great, solid community here.
Thanks for letting me ramble!

I'm so glad to read this thread and see that there are still a bunch of "vets" out there sticking around for us newbs! Thank you SO much - I love to read through archives, but I know I will need plenty of current peeps around to answer my own questions, too. I JUST joined the site in December, and read a ton of stuff, but somehow I missed the kerfuffle a few weeks ago. I came back the last few days and noticed while reading through threads that people's profile photos were gone, names weren't "clickable," etc. I was so confused until I finally found Alex's post that explained it so I'm more in the loop now!

I have to say, I'm new to this forum but not to forums in general. I tend to see it both ways... on any forum there is usually a core group of vets (or "regs" as they are usually called) that make up the bulk of the posting and set the terms of the culture. They tend to see it as "their" board because of the time they dedicate to posting and building a community. Unfortunately sometimes the culture that builds up isn't exactly what the board admins want, particularly if the board is part of a bigger brand. One of the forums I'm a member of dealt with this issue by just removing the link to the forums from their website altogether. LOL. It's kinda funny, actually, we hardly ever get new members anymore which cuts down on the drama! Better for the blood pressure, bad for the gossip factor.
Anyway, even being out of the loop of the "regs" I did notice some extremely presumptive tough-love going around... I'm sure it gets old for the vets to say the same thing multiple times but part of being a member of a forum is realizing how many people never read a single thing before posting - they have a question, they register an account, they post the question. They don't know that four posts down you just told someone the same darn thing for the umpteenth time this week. So, jumping down someone's throat right away simply for asking a question (even if it's, admittedly, a stupid or reckless one) tends to create drama and then people choose sides and jump in to argue it until the house burns down. Believe me, I'm very used to a blunt tone from my previous forum experience and even I had to raise my eyebrows multiple times per visit to BP. That said, I appreciated the actual message of the tough love even if I thought the tone was overly aggressive, and I feel I am armed much better for the battle to come because of those posts.
However, I also think it's Alex's prerogative to call the shots, particularly as he is a WLS professional with colleagues in the medical community. Protecting your brand is very important - it's not just about your revenue but your goodwill and reputation in the particular community you are trying to reach out to. I cringed when I read that some of his colleagues remarked about the negative feedback they had heard from patients about BP. Ouch... there's too much invested into this website to allow that to continue. He makes the rules and we have to play by them. And, I personally did not see reading the PM's as a big deal - but, that is maybe because I am a longtime redditor, where there is absolutely no expectation of privacy from the admins.
So, like I said, I see it both ways. I see why people were upset and left, and I see why Alex put his foot down. I'm sad that there was a mass exodus of knowledgeable people - but I am so glad to read this post and realized many of you have stayed, and maybe we can use the kerfuffle as a reset button to build up another great, solid community here.
Thanks for letting me ramble!

Glad to see a group of core vets stick around. I feel like we certainly are available for specific questions.
I've been here for years and chose not to participate in sniping....or sexual innuendo... just not me.
Happy to come here to read supportive posts... I count on it!
It is a major help to me almost daily.
I hope others feel that way. And use this site selectively for their information.

This one drives me CRAZY. I bet hundreds if not thousands of people DIE every year because the social stigma against WLS deterred them from getting life-saving surgery.
First of all, we all know there is nothing "easy" about WLS. It's weeks/months of misery and recovery and takes a lifetime of commitment and hard work.
Second of all, even if WLS was "easier" than doing it the "hard way", why is that a bad thing? As a society, don't we strive for efficiency? They are always coming up with ways of making every aspect of life quicker and easier. So why is "easy" bad?
Thirdly, it really seems to be a double-standard when it comes to WLS versus other medically necessary surgery. You never hear anyone saying that getting a knee replacement is the "easy way out". "They should just walk it off and fight through the pain." So why is getting surgery to correct other medical issues okay, but WLS is not?

I've smashed my Proteins daily and I can't tell anyone enough what a difference it's made, more energy, less nausea and starting to feel well again. Three weeks today since my surgery and I feel great. Thanks everyone for your help and comments. SW 25.2 stones TW 22.2 stones
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I visited 3. The first was a bit of a drive from my house (only because of Dallas traffic). Thankfully I found someone a little closer who was also amazing with a very supportive and awesome staff so I went with them! I think you should definitely consult with more than 1 surgeon just to make sure you are 100% comfortable with not only the surgical aspect, but the aftercare as well.
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