CrowMilk

I haven't had any issues with negative comments. Then again I never post anything on Facebook and have all of 2 friends and am also a recluse at work. Lol.

There's always drama here, that's why I hardly visit anymore. There are better and more supportive communities out there.

That being said, to the OP, I highly recommend checking out Reddit's 1200IsPlenty sub. If you don't know how to do that, just Google 1200 calorie meals. I've been doing that and intermittent fasting (no food from around 11 pm to 11 am) and it is easy.

The goal is to eat healthy meals that only add up to 1200 calories for a day, though most recipes I've seen largely consist of veggies so you'll have to tailer them to have more Protein.< br>
I am 20 days from a year and have been able to keep up with no regain using this diet.

New member here, is this site always so dramatic?

You haven’t experienced what the op has gone through. You haven’t experienced pregnancy post wls. You are still in early days and think it’s all smooth sailing. And it’s all about choices. I’m sorry to tell you, it isn’t that simple. In a few years things will likely be different for you too.
I hear a lot of fear in the tone of your posts and I understand it is scary that maybe what you are getting out of surgery right now won’t last, and you may regain. It’s terrifying. It terrified me and scares me still at times. But being crude and rude to people on here isn’t the answer. If you are having success, good for you. But it’s a good idea to listen with an open ear because some day you may be struggling too. Wls is not a permanent solution. The restriction most people get is temporary. Somenever get it at all.
No matter how much weight you have lost- it doesn’t give you the right to judge others. The op is on here asking for support not to be told she’s a failure by her own lack of willpower. I’m sure she is trying as hard as she can.
For some reason your statement “I’ve seen you around Bella bloom!!!!” Makes me chuckle. I’m like, the dark specter of bariatric pal... lurking...around...every....corner... with .... a smile.

If it was that easy no one on here would be heavy. If we could change our mind like a switch, don’t you think we allWould??? It’s not as easy as willpower, not even close. Even having the stomach removed isn’t enough for some people.
And now to the op- your body lost a ton of weight from a fast starvation type diet (weight loss surgery is just a forced state of starvation) then you got pregnant with a wrecked metabolism and a starved body- and your body sent your cravings through the roof and slowed your metabolism to a crawl to grow your baby, and heal the damage. When we diet our bodies believe that we are in a famine. And they are smarter than us and built to survive- that is how weight gain from dieting happens.
My advice is to take the opportunity to explore other ways of losing weight /weight maintenance other than surgery. Consider eating disorder therapy and a dietician that specializes in eating therapy to help you rebuild your metabolism.
Being thin isn’t everything. It really isn’t anything. Youre a new mom, you need food and you need health and you need to free your mind from feeling like a failure so you can focus on your baby. You are not a failure in any way and you are beautiful whether you are bigger or smaller. Therapy can really help with these negative self image issues we all have. You are not a criminal for wanting to eat fast food.
There are many ways to be healthy. Eating wholesome food to satisfy yourself, getting exercise every day, treating yourself to a new haircut, new clothes, figuring out what you really enjoy eating without guilt or shame, and loving your body the way it is. That’s health. Self care and self love is health. If you want to be healthy on the outside, you have to get healthy on the inside. Rebuild the trust in yourself.
I highly recommend Intuitive Eating to you as an option.

I’m 5’7” and my heaviest weight was 298 and I wore size 22ish. I had mini gastric bypass on 12/12/16. I am now 138 and wear size 4-6. I figured I would be able to wear a size 6 or 7 but a size 4? I can wear my daughter’s clothes!!!

Some people don't have an issue with the type of food they eat. For myself, it was always about bingeing. Now that I literally cannot binge, I haven't had any issue with the foods I eat. I don't feel connected to food in the same way anymore.

I eat fast food (moreso now because our kitchen is being completely renovated) and I am still losing weight and being healthy overall.

Some people don't have an issue with the type of food they eat. For myself, it was always about bingeing. Now that I literally cannot binge, I haven't had any issue with the foods I eat. I don't feel connected to food in the same way anymore.

I eat fast food (moreso now because our kitchen is being completely renovated) and I am still losing weight and being healthy overall.

Honestly, I would stay away. I was also recommended to this site but I have found that r/WLS on Reddit is a much better resource, albeit smaller. Yeah the world isn't black and white, but I don't need negativity masquerading as concern. I haven't been on here in months because of it.

Me neither. There is a difference between telling things like they are and being an a*****e.

Honestly, I would stay away. I was also recommended to this site but I have found that r/WLS on Reddit is a much better resource, albeit smaller. Yeah the world isn't black and white, but I don't need negativity masquerading as concern. I haven't been on here in months because of it.

Honestly, I would stay away. I was also recommended to this site but I have found that r/WLS on Reddit is a much better resource, albeit smaller. Yeah the world isn't black and white, but I don't need negativity masquerading as concern. I haven't been on here in months because of it.

Applebee's has lots and lots of choices. What about their chicken salad, and your shrimp idea is a great idea. I go out to eat all the time. I travel a lot. I just eat in moderation and make as healthy choice as I can. Enjoy your meal, your friends, and whatever you do will be fine. If I could not eat out, I wouldn't be eating because I am 75% traveling. I was just sleeved 7/10/2017. I had the lap band for 6 years before that.
Looked at your stats...You are doing wonderful. Keep up the great work!..I vote for the grilled shrimp!!! yum

This is the kind of childish behavior I see in my psychology practice. A guy with low self esteem bullying others (from the safety and "anonymity" of the Internet, of course). Although I typically see this from adolescents, not adults. Just let it go. Your behavior is ridiculous.


Transitioning from lapband to bypass on June 12!
HW: 402, CW: 314, GW 185

I didn't take it as "safe space mentality" at all. There's blunt and to the point and there's rude. It should be easy to tell the difference and I don't think rude is terribly subjective. It's pretty clear. I sense a "snowflake" accusation next. Let's not go there on here. There's lots of places those terms can be slung around. Feels like you guys both made your point.

This is exactly what the OP is getting at - getting snarky, personal and combative in words and approach. And it happens on nearly every internet forum.
I have seen great threads and I have seen some threads that get abusive in nature. Everyone is allowed an opinion and to give their personal experience as an example. The consensus is that we all want the best outcome for people seeking advice.
When there is a huge discrepancy in dietary plans from the various bariatric teams, and even support and care, so if those posters come on here and read yet other variations from users, it is going to be hard to decipher the best options let alone manage the 'in-fighting' and tone.

My point is that who are we to decide who needs coddling and who doesn't? You read a few words in a forum or blog and you know what they need emotionally? Additionally, how does a yes or no question warrant a lecture? I agree there are posts in which people are asking for an opinion and get what they ask for, but I think people give their opinions when no one asked them. I realize that's the way of the internet, but I just think that a lot of people don't know what someone is going through and it couldn't hurt to show a little human decency. Human decency does not necessarily equal coddling... in fact, perhaps I did not convey this particularly well, but my point was that sometimes questions warrant no emotion whatsoever.
In my opinion, people who favor the tough love approach with strangers probably have some issues facing things themselves. Not everyone is a piece of crap and sometimes tough love makes people feel that way.
Additionally, there's a difference between tough love and being outright rude.

we all come here for support. Sometimes we need tough love, but there are many ways to convey that without hurting someone's feelings, and it would be nice if we all remembered that.

Sorry this is long....
The first thing I MUST address is the way in which some people talk to on another on WLS forums. Often, I will stumble upon a post because I Google a question looking for an answer in the moment rather than asking something that may have already been asked and waiting. I've noticed a lot of people being extremely critical of the questioner...
Here is an example (in a weak moment -MOMENT being the keyword - I might add... I'm on the liquid diet), I found someone asking if in the pure liquid post-surgery diet stage if they could have sugar free soft-serve ice cream. The first response was from someone who decided that rather than answer the question, they would provide an impromptu lecture on slider foods and how they should be dealing with food post-surgery. While I recognize posting on the internet opens you up to opportunities of criticism, I would hope that most people on weight-loss-surgery forums would have enough common sense to understand that most people on here are adults capable of choosing what they want to do. She didn't ask if she SHOULD eat the ice cream, she asked if she COULD eat it. I'm not saying the concern about slider foods wasn't without merit, but it wasn't warranted in this situation. Turns out, the poster just wanted to see if she could indulge in a lick or two in a social setting (a birthday party or something). She wasn't planning to enter a soft-serve eating contest. And even if she was... SO WHAT?! How does that impact the responder in any way? Why waste the time responding? The question wasn't, "What's an exmaple of a slider food and what are the dangers of a slider food?" UGH!
This leads me to another thing I'm really, really, really frustrated with. NOT EVERYONE HAS MENTAL ISSUES WITH FOOD THAT IS OVERWEIGHT OR UNDERWEIGHT OR IS INCAPABLE OF CHANGE OR INCAPABLE OF LEARNING WAYS TO COPE WITH FOOD ADDICTION. I am not saying it will be EASY, but it doesn't mean someone can't overcome their addiction. I know people from all ends of the spectrum who have accidentally overeaten at a holiday or party or have made a bad choice (food related or not) and I know many people who OBSESS over the food they put into their bodies and have done some serious emotional and physical damage by being TOO restrictive. Here's the point I am trying to make...
WHAT WORKS FOR YOU MAY NOT WORK FOR ANOTHER PERSON. And perhaps this is my unsound opinion, but having HAD WLS does not make you an EXPERT on WLS no matter how long ago you've gone; until you've gone to school and extensively studied psychology, gotten your doctorate, etc. etc. etc., no one wants to hear it unless they specifically ask you hey what SHOULD I do! SHOULD BEING THE KEY WORD!
Yes, some people may find it best avoid slider foods at all costs for the rest of their lives. However, other people will be able to indulge in a few bites of ice cream, or whatever and it doesn't undo all of their hard work or everything they've accomplished.
I have to say that I'm so disappointed when looking for answers to certain WLS-related questions to see so many people 1 - not answering the question directly, 2 - providing emotional/psychological advice, 3 - just not showing a little more compassion to people regardless of where they are in their journey, 4 - assuming you know anything about the person based on a question they've asked. And hey maybe you can tell they're making a huge mistake, but they may have worded the question incorrectly, they may be having a difficult time with something else in their life and they're searching for empathy from someone else who may have gone through something similar... the point is, a simple question doesn't provide you all the facts so stop assuming things about people because they've had weight loss surgery or are contemplating it!!!
On a related note, I'm so disappointed in the frequency in which I read people who start off by replying, "I'm sorry, but..." YOU ARE NOT SORRY! You are about to say something hurtful. If you have to say BUT after sorry, you're just not and you should delete your sentence and go read a book. Unless you're saying, "I'm sorry, but you're totally awesome and I love that you're realizing you're perfectly capable of realizing this is an internet forum and not a conversation with your doctor..." but rarely does it go that way.
FINALLY, I am so tired of reading things that are presented as black and white. I bet there are a bunch of people who disagree with what I have said... okay, fine, but does that mean I'm wrong? DISAGREEING WITH SOMEONE DOES NOT MAKE THEM WRONG AND IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU RIGHT. SOMETIMES YOU CAN BOTH BE RIGHT, WRONG, OR IN BETWEEN!
50 Shades of Grey? TRY A BILLION! AHHHH!
PS - I really need the pureed food stage to arrive... and fast.

I ordered PatchMD vitamin patches to use after surgery. My surgery is June 1 and I'm terrified after reading all of this feedback! As for Protein, my nutritionist said it is based on height. As a 5'6 female, my goal is about 89 grams a day. It is easy to get on the pre-op diet because I'm doing 2 Protein Shakes a day, as well as adding a tablespoon of unflavored Protein Powder (31g) to 16 of Crystal Light.

I'm not a vet by any means, I'm only about 1.5 months out, but my marriage has already improved dramatically. I am going to a concert, my first since HS, and am actually excited instead of being nervous that I won't fit in chairs! I have also exercised with my love instead of skipping out. Sex life is non-existent b/c Mother Nature has deemed me worthy for a 2 month flow, but that wasn't so much a problem as just uncomfortable at my highest weight. I've been putting off our honeymoon or any vacationing until I was the "right size" and finally we are going in September! He's prouder than ever at how much I have lost so far and is even supportive if I decide to have some body work done. For a guy who was 100% against the surgery, he's come a long way on this journey with me.

I'm honestly scared to lose weight in my boobs. Not because I can't afford it size wise - I'm a DDD, but because they're already shaped like saggy watermelons (nipples point to the ground) and the more weight I lose in them, the more they'll look like inflated animal balloons that have been left in a hot car too long. [emoji52]


HW: 328 (02/22/17)
SW: TBD
CW: 292

Absolutely!! Also, it might go against the grain for some, but I didn't have this surgery so I could diet for the rest of my life. I intend to have the occasional adult beverage, dessert, pizza, etc. The difference is NOW I only have a couple of bites/sips and I'm done... not an entire pizza, 6 pints of beer, 2 slices of pie (with ice cream). My real dietary issue was always large portions of "real" food- steak, baked potatoes, bowls full of macaroni-and-cheese, giant burritos, 20 chicken wings, etc. I will never again be able to eat foods in the portions I used to consume, and that's fine with me. I NEVER want to weigh that much again, and can't eat that much anyhow. However, I do not intend to live my life eating just chicken and salad all the time. I will enjoy foods that I choose to eat, in portions I know I can handle. As you said, it won't be excessive, and it WON"T be every day!
(Actually, I'd kill for a real salad. I can't handle it... fills me up almost immediately and I'm in the bathroom within 2 hours. Who knew I'd crave lettuce, tomatoes, onions, beets, carrots, olives, green peppers, and bleu cheese dressing... with croutons!)

There is a lot of negative criticism on this forum. Some people believe it is necessary, but I do not. It seems like numerous users need a lesson in constructive criticism.

I am a debater and have been for years so I have "tough skin" when it comes to the back-and-forth arguments, but this site brings it to a whole new level. One of my very first posts, before I knew what the environment was, garnered a lot of criticism and then a post was made about it on rants & raves. It wouldn't have been a big deal, but I was told I would fail for advancing my diet too quickly *even though my surgeon approved*. It seems like some of the users here just want to fight for the purpose of fighting.

There is a lot of negative criticism on this forum. Some people believe it is necessary, but I do not. It seems like numerous users need a lesson in constructive criticism.

I am a debater and have been for years so I have "tough skin" when it comes to the back-and-forth arguments, but this site brings it to a whole new level. One of my very first posts, before I knew what the environment was, garnered a lot of criticism and then a post was made about it on rants & raves. It wouldn't have been a big deal, but I was told I would fail for advancing my diet too quickly *even though my surgeon approved*. It seems like some of the users here just want to fight for the purpose of fighting.