serenity55

My bad, Beth. There should be an icon for sarcasm :sad: Debbie!

You couldn't be more wrong. As I also said in my first post, I have not, nor have I ever been a victim. I don't go looking for crap to happen. The fat, black blind comment was sarcasm Debbie.

Indio Gal, (sorry if I wrote it wrong) thank you for what you said. Racism can be subtle, and yes, you're right; it has been my experience over and over for the 54 years I have been on this planet. It's interesting that people have overlooked certain facts: That I said I feel sad when it happens to Anyone; no comment on my friend's mother--again, thank you Indio Gal--and, by the way, Barack is only half black, so I don't even understand why blacks are making it sound as though he was full black. The information I gave, I don't think, was limited at all. I don't like to think of racism happening anywhere, either, but it does, it has happened to me, and maybe always will. So I guess I have three strikes against me: I'm black, blind and fat. Also, I was in a van when the woman moved. It's not as if I was touching her; there was plenty of room between us. If I have a bias, so be it. It happened to me, and I don't mind people questioning, but what I do mind is people making me feel as though I don't know what the hell I'm experiencing Debbie.

Plain, I don't have a problem with anyone questioning, but I don't want anyone to think that my blindness has anything to do with my ability to recognize racism, or that I go around looking for it Debbie.

Thank you, Nancy. No I understood exactly where you were coming from. One day I was on a bus, and a drunk sat next to me. I was in the back (hahaha!) and this guy says in a really loud voice, "There sure are a lot of fat people on this bus today!" Since he was sitting next to me, I knew exactly who he was talking about. There was a group I belonged to in Los Angeles called Fat Sisters Organizing Los Angeles. (Fatso LA.) It lasted for a few years, and started me on the road to accepting myself. Debbie

Wow! I always wanted to have a multi page thread! :wink: I did say I welcomed other people's experiences, and I thank those of you who have provided them . I will stick by my belief that all the incidents were racially motivated. I was in a van when the white woman moved. How did I know she was white? She was speaking Russian. How do I know that? Because there are lots of Russians living in the area. Don't know any black folks who speak Russian, and no English at all. The mother of my school friend who didn't want me to come to her house again was definitely racist. I have lived all my life as a blind woman, and if you asked anyone who knows me they would tell you that I am not, nor have I ever been a victim; I have no trouble speaking up for myself or taking action. I have grown up with people of all races and ethnicities, and as I said in my first post, am glad I did. But, as I said, I also grew up believing that white was better. And by the way, the bus driver who refused to speak to me was from the South. I was born in Biloxi Mississippi. My uncle was a Baptist minister there. One Sunday morning, he was walking to a visiting church when he was accosted by a KKK jerk who told him if he set one foot on his land, my uncle was a dead nigger. I refuse to go back to the place of feeling inferior because of my color, and believe me, it wasn't what I learned at home. You don't have to be sighted to recognize racism. . These incidents and lots more like them, were racially motivated. Debbie

Thank you, Nanook. I have experienced negative comments and discrimination because of my weight, and that hurts a lot. But I believe that the incidents I posted here were racial. People will swear up and down that they have no judgments about race, weight, gay or lesbian rights, and in the next breath tell you that as long as they aren't forcing their beliefs on you, or as long as my son or daughter doesn't date or marry one or as long as a fat person is comfortable with their weight, , it's all right. And for all I know the woman in the van with me Friday could have been fat. She did have to squeeze past me to get to that middle seat! :tongue_smilie: Debbie.

Carrie_C, it is people like you and your parents, that keep hope alive. Sounds corny, I know, but I really believe that. When ever I talk to anyone of any race who feels that way it tends to make me think that there still are caring people in the world. BJean, it just goes to show that kids really don't care about color as long as they get what they want. Well, maybe I shouldn't generalize. Maybe I should say many children. When my best friend was small, she saw two little black girls on her street. She said to her mom, "Mommy, I met two girls and they're brue!" (She couldn't say blue, and perhaps didn't know black, I forget exactly how the story goes.) We still talk about that. (Actually I tease her a lot.) :tongue_smilie:. Debbie.

Hello everyone! How's it going? I think I did something wrong, because I didn't do my starting weight. I didn't start at 288. Are we supposed to record our starting weight before banding? Straighten me out, somebody! Name………..Start Lbs......Current..........Goal.......To Go Laurr925..........240...............236...............220........16 luv2scuba........201...............201...............185........16 mynewlife09.....199...............199...............189........10 NcsQueen.........215...............207..............195........12 Serenity55........ 288 ..... 286..... 268..... 18 Debbie

I have seen posts by some February 2009 bandsters, and was just wondering how everybody is doing? Let's here from you! Are you struggling? Is life good? Inquiring minds want to know! (Well, at least I do!) :tongue_smilie: Debbie

BJean, What it did was make me feel as though I was less than perfect. I grew up in a time where books were full of princesses with long golden hair and blue eyes. I know that not all white people fit the description of what is supposed to be, or have been, desirable, but back then, I really wanted straight hair and pale skin. And I can relate to being discriminated against for being fat, too. It hurts just as much as someone making racist comments, I think. Thank you for your kind words. I don't ever want to be bitter or defensive; I just want to accept and be accepted, loved, and love in return. I think that's probably what we all want Debbie.

BJean, thank you! I met a woman who was blind, her daughter was also, and she went to school with me. I went to a birthday party at this kid's hous . Somehow her mother touched my hair, and realized that I was black. The next week at school my little friend said, "I'm glad you were at my party, even if my mother said never to invite you over again." I'm sorry that you had to come to that realization, but I think that people who meet you will find you a kind and accepting person. Debbie

852 plus the 50 I've lost = 902! Debbie!

I know of a couple of people who came from racist families and don't feel the same way as their relatives. It probably happens very rarely, but I suppose people can figure out for themselves that what they learned as children isn't always the truth. There is a song in the musical South Pacific, I think, called You Have to Be Taught, and it talks about how prejudice is learned. The first time I heard it I was touched, because someone actually put it in a show. Debbie.

I'm sorry that your family has had to experience that kind of hate, too. I don't understand why anyone feels that way. Your poor parents. But how brave of them to adopt a mixed child. Thank you for your post, Carrie Debbie.

Thank you Joan. It makes me sad whenever I experience things like that, or hear of others of any race or ethnicity who do. And it hurts, even though I know I shouldn't let it get to me. I've been fortunate to have wonderful people in my life, and I guess that makes it all that much harder when it happens. I don't have my head buried in the sand, but it's sad nonetheless. Debbie

Hi everyone, I wasn't sure how to pull this together, because I'm thinking about experiences I have had as a black woman, and as a blind one. I take paratransit, known here as Access Services, home from work. Basically, it's a curb to curb cab service (or van) for a very small fee. Twice I have ridden with passengers who have not wanted to sit by me, either because I'm black, or blind, or both. The most recent incident was today. I was in a van, and a woman got in. She sat down next to me, all the while talking to someone outside the van. All at once, after what was a halfhearted attempt at trying to fasten her seat belt, I heard the driver put down a middle seat. After we took off, I reached over to see if there was anything wrong with the belt. There wasn't; it moved quite easily. That has happened to me before in an Access vehicle. When I rode the bus, there was a driver who refused to speak to me. He never told me if there was a seat in front, or anywhere, for that matter, but he spoke to a blind man who was not black. They had a rather animated conversation in fact. At the risk of sounding shallow, using an old cliche, I have friends of all races and ethnicities. I went to school with predominantly white kids of necessity. I had to go where the resources for blind kids were. I'm glad I did. I think it taught me a lot about all kinds of people, and how dull my life would be had I not met so many different types. But I have also had several experiences of people who either thought I couldn't possibly help them because I'm blind, or who simply refused to interact with me, sit by me, you name it, for the same reason. If anyone cares to share experiences from any point of view, I welcome them, and thank you all for letting me rant. Debbie

Last week I went to my doctor for what was to have been my third fill. Actually, I didn't even have a second one. I have 2 cc's in my band, haven't had anything get stuck, and am losing weight. My doctor says that as long as that's happening he sees no reason for me to have a fill. I'm eating much less than I used to, and am full, though I struggle sometimes with head hunger. That, I think is something I will be dealing with for as long as it takes. The important thing for me is that I recognize when I'm full, and I'm making healthy food choices most of the time. My doctor says he doesn't want me to have to deal with food getting stuck or p bing. I like that! Debbie

Hi everybody, I was too chicken to join the Shrinko de Mayo challenge, but this is a great idea for us February Foxes! I hope I'm doing this right! Sorry in advance if I mess it up, Laurr ! Name...........Start Lbs......Current..........Goal.......To Go Laurr925..........240...............236...............220........16 luv2scuba........201...............201...............185........16 mynewlife09.....199...............199...............189........10 NcsQueen.........215...............215..............195........20 Serenity55 ............ 288 ..... 288 ........ 268 ........ 20 Debbie

Hi there! Welcome to lap band talk. You've found a wonderful place to make friends and get information. To answer your question, no, not everyone has to go through the six months' requirement. I didn't, but I was denied a zillion times before my medical group was bought out. Three months after that I was approved, and I had my surgery in February . We'll all be rooting for you, and watching your progress. Debbie.

Just yesterday someone at work introduced me to almonds with sea salt. Yum! I've always loved nuts, and they really do make me feel like I'm eating something sinful! Great thread! Debbie

Well, I didn't get the fill because my doctor thinks my weight loss is pretty good. I've lost 8 pounds since my last visit for a total of 50--count 'em!--50 pounds! That's enough to let me know that I can do this! So I'm going to be a better bandster now--at least for a while! :biggrin: Debbie

I got mine at my nutrition class a few days before surgery. I went to the International House of pancakes, and used it there. It turned out that my waitress's mom had had gastric bypass, but she didn't know anything about the lap band. Debbie

Hi all, Up until today I've been walking, either on the track at work, or the treadmill. I exercised Sunday, but not yesterday--I mean the weight resistance stuff. And I've been eating sweets. Not like I used to, but still ... I'm scheduled to go for my third fill tomorrow, and I honestly don't know what to do. Maybe I should get a little one. I'm getting hungry about every three to four hours, and the sweets! I know the band won't stop that, I have to, and I'm doing better. Tomorrow I'll exercise when I get home from work. Thanks for letting me go off topic a little. Debbie

Hi Mamadot, I'm not sure if it was you or your friend who was at the lap band meeting last Wednesday. but thank you for posting here. I think we're pretty lucky to have Dr. Quilici and the team. Debbie