I know what you mean. I was banded on 2/22 and since January I worried that this would fail. Mostly because I was self pay and I knew I would have to pay for any complications. Plus it was money my family could have used for something else but didn't. I have 3 little kids and my oldest has mental health issues. He is almost 9. Nothing in this world is worse than having a child with mental health problems. Except for death.
I got the lap band for a lot of reasons (health, decrease pain, comfort, blah blah blah) but I secretly got it because I am 40 and fat. My husband is 41, fat with diabetes and high blood pressure. He will die early, there's no doubt. My son will need someone all his life to help him and I HAVE to be there for him. Of course I want to live a long time and be with my twins too (they are almost 4), but my main reason was for him.
So everytime I got nervous, that is what I thought of. If I don't do this I will leave him behind. So write down why you are doing this and everytime you feel like pulling out review your list. Of course being nervous is normal. I will pray for you!