Travelher

I did not have any skin removal yet, if you have a large amount of weight to lose you will have loose skin. Exercise for health, not to reduce skin issues because it does nothing for skin...there is no muscle in skin.
I have no hanging pannus..that is luck and body composition, and also the fact that I got down to the low end of body fat for my age. That is it. I didn’t spend time in the gym (though I am active), use creams or any of the other bill of goods people sell people on to make them think they’ll avoid it.
Unfortunately, if someone carries weight around the Middle, odds are high they will have a Pannus, the only thing that will really solve that, is compression wear to disguise it or surgery.
I’ve attached a pic of my loose skin. You can see standing it is not too bad (it is crepey and wrinkled, but I’m also 50). Lying down, it slides down...that is where you can really see the excess skin, and that it really is just skin.

I wouldn't recommend it. We waited 5 days, one of my staples snagged on the sheets and my scars were left feeling a bit like rug burn. It was a few weeks before we went there again.

10 months out. About 120 lbs down

the hunger you are experiencing is not actual hunger, but the stomach acid/gerd. real hunger goes away when you eat, acid does not. the acid that is creating that feeling of hunger often prompts people to continue eating to try and resolve it or turn to easily digestible carbs like crackers and bread again, to self-medicate.
The good news is with RNY there is a 60% chance that your Gerd will resolve (mine did).

size has nothing to do with it. Dating is a numbers game. My experience was that the super charming guys were that way because they had a LOT of practice....so those ones got weeded out pretty quickly. Also, for the most part, if a man makes it to his 40's never married or in a serious relationship...there is a reason. Seems to be different for women...but men...usually an indication of a maturity issue..at least it was on almost every single date I was on. I found the pool to be better quality in the divorced/separated crowd...just my experience. I assume you are internet dating, thank god for that because that is for the most part where the singles are. one of my biggest revelations was that I wasn't going to meet someone sitting on my couch hanging out with my best friend. and as a woman in your 40's if your experience is like mine. not many friends know single men in our age range or the ones they do know they would never set anyone up with. You need to go to a target rich environment...which nowadays is online.
I have a friend who used to meet guys at bars and dated a lot of alcoholics, so would not recommend that as a venue for meeting people. Fact is online dating is the best place to meet people who are also looking to meet people. I used to do short chats, then a short coffee date where I could assess whether I wanted to get to know the person further. it is just a screening process.
I really needed to think about what I really wanted and get away from my pattern of dating charming hot guys who were never going to be long term material. You need to do a lot of self examining and figure out what patterns you may need to consciously break.
I went on a lot of dates before I found someone who was relationship material. you need to change your way of looking at things. It is not about you it is about them, they aren't meeting your criteria, why are your making it about you?
I met more than one good guy while dating. When I met my husband I was worried he might even be too nice for me, then I gave my head a shake.
2 things I did that helped when I was dating. 1. did it with a single friend that I could connect with and download with after a date. 2. We created a blog for a creative outlet. dating became more fun with that because the bigger the disaster, the better the story (and a lot less depressing). Also I would take occasional breaks if I found it getting to me.

i think the majority of people think the surgery is primarily successful because of restriction, which isn't the case. it is the hormonal balance and therefore the metabolic shift...this changes over time and appetite increases. This is why virtually ever surgeon has a recommended food plan/diet.
Clearly surgeons don't explain that people will be able to eat more over time and that it has nothing to do with pouch size because food doesn't stay in the stomach for very long it. Generally the pouch or sleeve empties in 30 seconds to a few minutes. That is what they see in xrays. It is stretch receptors in the stomach and intestines that send the "full" message.
Dr Matthew Weiner has a great video that indicates normal is a few bites at 1 month, 3 oz at 6 months, 1/2 plate at a year, 3/4 in 3 years and 1 plate at 5-10.
This is true for me. 18 months post op i can eat a salad bowl with 3 oz of Protein (soup size) or 3-4oz of protein and a side of veggies 1/2 to a cup depending on the day. Guess what though, if I'm sitting with friends at a restaurant, over the 90 minutes we are there i could quite easily eat a french fry every couple of minutes and end up having eaten a half a plate of fries after eating my dinner (I don't, but I know i could). that would be eating around my tool, it hasn't stretched I just let my stomach empty and then refilled it over and over again.
Dr Weiner says weight regain usually has almost nothing to do with anatomy. Yes there are cases where people will force feed themselves over an over again and stretch out their stomachs or in the case of RNY, the stoma, research says it is not usually the case.
Like most other people I have had some regain, most recently I went away on a vacation for 10 days with my closest friends. it was a week in a ski chalet with wine and lots of cheese, fondue one night, cheese and pate in the afternoons, eating out. I put on 7 pounds. then lost the 7 lbs over the 3 weeks following the trip when i was back home and back to my normal healthy eating.
I know I have to be very careful and vigilant with my food choices if I don't want to become a regain statistic.

technically a 13 year vet, but the system only let me on the vets forum recently because of my revision date. almost a year in maintenance post revision, so only check in once in a while.

I'm glad you are feeling better.

start with the therapy, possibly medication. The real problem is the depression/mental, that is what is derailing you. that kind of trauma causes chemical changes in your brain. that really needs to be addressed first. if you can solve that I think you'll find everything else will fall back into place. Best of luck to you.

Reach out to your surgeons office and see if they can recommend a therapist for you. It sounds like you need to dig down and work on some deep issues.
In the meantime, try putting together meals and Snacks for the day ahead of time. Sometimes it helps to have things pre-prepared so you know what your "food allowance" is for each meal, or for each day. You can space out snacks accordingly - if you're looking for more right after a meal, ask yourself, "can I wait another hour before reaching for this next snack? " Consider that if you eat your allotted snacks too early you will be hungry later and try to space them out. This is just something I do to help when I am feeling like I am not satisfied even though I have just eaten.
Get rid of trigger foods that are in your cabinets or refrigerator. Having them readily available is just setting yourself up. When you feel a craving coming on, maybe go take a walk instead. Remove yourself from the places where in the past you had the habit of over-eating. It takes approximately 21 days to change your habits. Set this as a short term goal - when you have a craving, take a walk instead of reaching for food. Tell yourself that if you take a 20-30 minute walk and are still hungry when you get back, you will have a Protein snack.
Think of all the reasons that made you come to the decision to have this surgery. Maybe try journaling what you're feeling. It can be hard to lose the comfort that comes from food, it's like losing a friend. Find ways to keep your mind and hands busy - look for a new hobby that piques your interest.
You can do this. You are strong, have faith in yourself. Reach out to those in your life who support you.

I found an ap the easiest. ive never used Baritastic, but myfitnesspal can save meals and allows you to copy over days or meals at a time. I found that a real time saver as i often repeat the same meals. 10,000 steps a day is what i did. You've got this!

The truth is nobody can quite find the negative in a positive like a bariatric patient. It is why I created this...to remind myself of how neurotic I was being regardless of what point I was at...I think a lot of people can relate to this...

it isn't how fast you get there it is where you end up. in my experience 99.9% of people who think they are slow losers are fast losers. I can probably count on my hands in the thousands of disappointed posts how many I would actually describe as slow losers. I considered myself a normal rate loser (not slow, not super fast). I'd wager most people who stress about their rate of loss lost at the same rate or faster than me.
it is all a matter of perspective. People need to stop looking for things to critique about themselves. you will always look for and find someone faster and there will always be people slower.
One thing I can say about my weight loss, is that I didn't do it on starvation calories and I lost 100% fat and gained muscle along the way according to my dexa scans. That is almost unheard of. Many bariatric patients I know lost at a rate of almost a pound of muscle for every pound of fat...that is not good. If you are losing 25 lbs a month and 12 of that is fat and 13lbs is muscle. and I lose 12 lbs but 13 is fat and I gained a pound of muscle. who is doing better at the end of the day....I am. This is why it is not useful or healthy to compare numbers on a scale with others.
Could not recommend dexa scans more highly...it gives the most accurate picture of progress.

The truth is nobody can quite find the negative in a positive like a bariatric patient. It is why I created this...to remind myself of how neurotic I was being regardless of what point I was at...I think a lot of people can relate to this...

there is no requirement to drink sweet things. I had a lot of Soup with unflavoured Protein Powder added in. that is how I made it through to the puree stage.

Hubby has to wear a tux, too. Will be a fun time!
Maybe you could find some kinda charity event? Take up ball room dancing? LOL:)

The truth is nobody can quite find the negative in a positive like a bariatric patient. It is why I created this...to remind myself of how neurotic I was being regardless of what point I was at...I think a lot of people can relate to this...

That is you hormones talking, fat burning releases a rush of hormones, rationally speaking losing such a large amount of weight in such a short time should lead to elation not depression...so know that this is the typical hormone rush and it will get better. based on your weight loss you are right on track. looks like you've lost 18lbs in about a month assuming a 2 week preop! way better than i did and I'm wearing a size 2 right now.
Also, you should never use the word "only" in front of a loss. would you ever say "I ONLY gained 10lbs"? no you would not....so why minimize success? remove that word from your vocabulary

if you aren't tracking you need to be. it is the best way to stay accountable. Also, are you making good food choices?
You are mistaken if you think it is about restriction. restriction lessens over time as your body adapts, that is normal and expected. most people can eat a whole plate of food by a year post op. it is why food choices and diet are so important and every bariatric program recommends a bariatric diet post op.
the hormone grehlin does go away, but for most it does come back (your body is smart and adjusts). if you are experiencing hunger pangs (particularly if it is happening when it shouldn't) there is a possibility it is actually stomach acid and you need to get on a PPI like prevacid. you should talk to your doctor about it.
I strongly recommend looking up dr Matthew weiners videos on youtube. he does a very good job explaining in laymans terms why and how bariatric surgery works.

God, I’d kill for any opportunity to dress up! I have a full collection of little black dresses, I could open a store...but nowhere to wear them

Very true and very funny

I stuck to wine. just keep it to one drink. we process alcohol differently post op. more is absorbed and it is harder on your liver. Also, you cannot drive after even one drink you will fail a breathalizer. Many patients are not told this by their doctors.

The truth is nobody can quite find the negative in a positive like a bariatric patient. It is why I created this...to remind myself of how neurotic I was being regardless of what point I was at...I think a lot of people can relate to this...

fantastic! The mental battle is the hardest IMO...glad you are in a better place.

if you aren't tracking you need to be. it is the best way to stay accountable. Also, are you making good food choices?
You are mistaken if you think it is about restriction. restriction lessens over time as your body adapts, that is normal and expected. most people can eat a whole plate of food by a year post op. it is why food choices and diet are so important and every bariatric program recommends a bariatric diet post op.
the hormone grehlin does go away, but for most it does come back (your body is smart and adjusts). if you are experiencing hunger pangs (particularly if it is happening when it shouldn't) there is a possibility it is actually stomach acid and you need to get on a PPI like prevacid. you should talk to your doctor about it.
I strongly recommend looking up dr Matthew weiners videos on youtube. he does a very good job explaining in laymans terms why and how bariatric surgery works.