Rokumok4

@OKCPirate that's one of mine too - cutting my own toenails!
Walking into a clothes shop and not pushing everything to the side so I can get to the biggest sizes straight away (oh and not hearing across the shop, "We don't do large sizes".
Kate

So this morning after taking a shower, and elbow deep in my usual routine of slathering on the lotion, and slapping on the baby powder, in hopes of reducing friction, I thought, I can't wait until I don't have to do this anymore after I lose the weight.
What fat related routines, patterns, or things are you hoping to leave behind after surgery?
PS: Johnson & Johnson stock is really going to take a plunge after I stop buying the lotion and powder.

Well, I am looking forward to all of those things as posted above, but right now, being the summer temps here are always 90 and higher, I am REALLY looking forward to getting rid of this enormous, hot, miserable, twisted, tight, size 46DDD BRA!!!!

I can't wait to go shopping in a regular size clothing store and know that anything I see and like, I can try on. I don't have to go searching for the largest size on the rack, and hoping they have it.

I finally decided in April it was time to make the change I knew I had needed for many years! I made the appointment to see a surgeon at our local Bariatric center. Went and got all the info I needed and then some! Of course the doctor dropped a bombshell on me! They do not do surgery on anyone over 450 pounds. That day I weighed 520 on their scales. My insurance requires 6 months of monthly weigh in appointments. So I had 6 months to lose 70 pounds. I thought I had went their in hopes of surgery to help me lose the weight! So with some help of some prescriptions from him and a lot of will power I have been exercising at least every other day if not more and eating much less and much more healthier meals. Making sure I get in all my Protein that I will need after my surgery. In July alone I lost 45 pounds. As of today I currently weigh 417 and hope to be under 400 by the time of my surgery. Last weekend we had my youngest sons adoption party and I was 2 jean sizes and 2 shirt sizes down from where I started. When my wife showed me these comparison pictures from when my journey started until now and it was the first time I really realized that you could tell how much I have lost already! Can't wait for my last weigh in Sept 13 so I can get my surgery date!!!
HW: 520
CW: 417

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Once I said that I'm getting it done, so many people were telling me about their experiences. I had no idea that they had it done. In the past, I have worked with 4 nurses from different hospitals that had it done. Every person except for one reached their goal weight.

Note to self: I don't have to take this day all at once but rather one step, one breath and one moment at a time. I am only one person.

Once I said that I'm getting it done, so many people were telling me about their experiences. I had no idea that they had it done. In the past, I have worked with 4 nurses from different hospitals that had it done. Every person except for one reached their goal weight.

Note to self: I don't have to take this day all at once but rather one step, one breath and one moment at a time. I am only one person.

Don't be concondescending. I read the whole thing a couple of times. Your first line "I am actually beginning to wish leaks on people." Do you think posting like this will help anyone? Your story could change peoples life. Yet, you post things like this. I don't understand. Leaks are awful, dangerous, and sad. But you are doing better now! Change the way you are and help people!

Afternoon all.
I wasn't quite sure where to put this post, but it seems here is the best place, as what I'm going to be talking about today is a huge part of the wls journey and I'm betting everyone here can either relate because they have experienced it, may experience it in the future, or can sympathize because, honestly, I don't know a single overweight person who has not had to deal with the pile of bullsh*t that I've been dealing with lately at some point in their lives.
Last night, I posted a new selfie to Facebook. I've been updating them right along because my face is still changing so much, and I really like being able to see my progress and to quietly share it with my friends and family. I guess this particular selfie made my weight loss especially noticeable, because I woke up this morning to a message from a "friend" on Facebook that essentially said "wow! I'm so happy to see you're getting so healthy! It's so bad that you let yourself get that fat though."
Upon reading this horribly cruel message, I was shocked, humiliated, and for a moment I felt myself blown right back to the place I was two years ago, a place I've worked tirelessly in therapy to climb out of: I felt that I was a worthless, hopeless human being who deserved to be treated this way. When people were cruel to me before, it devastated me because deep down, wayyyy deep down in the darkest and most painful parts of me, I agreed with the horrible things they said to and about me. I must be disgusting, gluttonous, lazy, pathetic, not even worthy of any kind of basic human kindness. After all, I led myself here, right? It's my fault that I'm super-morbidly-obese. I deserve this treatment.
Now, two years later, I more or less look like a normal person. I wear a size 12/14 jeans, a large or medium shirt. I've even gotten to the point where I can sometimes look in a mirror and think "hmm. I think I may feel beautiful today." But messages like the one I got today derail me in a fantastic way, and remind me of that raw, horrible feeling that I'm still struggling with every single day to overcome. His message was almost conspiratorial; like, oh, you're not fat anymore, so we can ridicule and shame your former self together. Like I would agree with him and say "OMG you're right! Fat Me was f*cking disgusting and pathetic. I totally agree with you." Like I was not a person before and now that I am "normal", I am. I hate it more than I can even begin to describe.
I hate that to many people, fat people not only deserve to be treated this way, but also need to be treated this way. There are whole (densely populated, I might add) forums scattered around the internet dedicated to posting pictures and videos of fat people for the sole purpose of shaming and hating them, and the excuse is to somehow motivate fat people into not being fat anymore. That's ludicrous, of course. The real reason is simple. It's pure hate, ignorance, and insecurity on their part. I know this. I believe this. But there is still a little part of me that feels nothing but shame and humiliation in situations like this. Will I always just be "Fat Abby" to the people around me? Am I ever going to escape her? And why should I even hate her in the first place? "Fat Abby" was incredibly sick with a severe hormone disorder, so poor I starved just as often as I gorged on cheap white Pasta and bread, and suicidally depressed. "Fat Abby" had no hope and so did the only logical thing in her mind: she tried to speed up the process of dying young by eating more. That doesn't sound like a lazy, gluttonous piece of crap to me. That sounds like a person who was suffering intensely, every moment of every day. I want to be kind and loving to that hurt former self, not look back and think "man, you were gross. Good thing you're skinny now!"
I've said it before and I'll say it again many times, I'm sure, but I love where I am now. I am so, SO happy that I've made it here, and grateful to everyone and everything the led me here, including my own strong self. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. But it's also important for me now to express these things here, to people who have or will experience them. Losing hundreds of pounds is a completely incredible feat! But it's just the tiny tip of the iceberg compared to the changes your life will go through after surgery. Do these experiences somehow negate my progress or my pride and joy? Absolutely not. They are just part of the story, and part of the journey.
I am not who I was. I will never be that person again. HOWEVER, being happy that I am not there anymore does not mean that I hate "Fat Abby", nor does it mean that I should be ashamed of her. Nor does it mean I deserve to be treated like an object that everyone gets to stare at and judge. Old Me, and I suspect all the Old Yous who are reading this, were just people who were doing the best they could and were suffering, and so we sought weight loss surgery to heal ourselves. We've done amazing things and changed in ways most other people have not even fathomed.
Remember the Old You without the hate and stigma attached to him/her, and the shame and pain that surrounded living as an obese person in a world that absolutely despises and dehumanizes obese people. Love the Old You just as much as you love the New You, and maybe someday you'll reach a point when you see the entire You with the kind of hope, love, and clarity that will keep you healthy and happy forever.
Attached is the selfie that started this. I love you all.
Cervidae

Afternoon all!
I'm writing this on a super awesome day: my one-year post op date! This day last year, I weighed 387 pounds and was in recovery after my bypass. This day two years ago, I weighed 450 pounds and saw very little hope of making it past 30. Today I am 207 pounds and perfectly healthy. How times change.
I've learned so, so much in the last two years since I started down this road towards health and happiness. Some of the things I learned were tough lessons, some of them were illuminating and freeing, but all of them together have brought me here. "Here" is a place I never in a million years thought I could be. "Here" is an entirely different Abby, an Abby I thought was sort of a childish dream, or maybe a fairy-tale I told myself to comfort myself during the painful years I spent being obese and incredibly unhappy and uncomfortable.
I still struggle every day with the person I was, the person I am, and the person I am becoming. I struggle to regain my self-image, and to regain an understanding of who I am outside and inside. I struggle with the social and emotional changes that have happened since my surgery, namely the way that people suddenly treat me like a human being because I am no longer painfully obese. I struggle to forgive the cruelty that I experienced at the hands of so, so many people, including my own family and friends. Including myself. I struggle with food cravings occasionally, and with the gravity of the change my personality and habits have gone through. I struggle with that tiny voice of fear in the back of my mind that tells me I couldn't possibly keep this goodness up. I struggle not to compare myself to others and I struggle to keep clothes on my back as I continue to drop sizes. Every day is a struggle.
Every day is also a miracle. I would do this again, and again, and again... forever if I needed to, if it would bring me back here every time. This road has been a little bitter, a lot of sweet, and a wilder ride than I could have possibly imagined or prepared for.
And it ain't over yet!
From the bottom of my heart, thank you to all of you here who have been a part of this journey with me, whether you realized it or not. Thank you to all the vets who slapped some sense into me and the kind strangers who listened during times when my anxiety was out of control or when I was feeling so bad about myself that I felt hopeless. You all share a little piece of my victory with me. I wouldn't be here without you and the enormous host of other people outside of this site who have supported me and encouraged me and been proud of me the whole way. THANK YOU. I have a life now, and a future that simply did not exist for me two years ago.
I am ecstatic to be able to share these pictures and my progress with you all today. I love you all.
<3 Cervidae (Abby)
Stats!
Starting weight: 450 lbs
Surgery weight: 387 lbs
Current weight: 207 lbs
Weight lost since surgery: 180 lbs
Overall weight lost: 243 lbs
Jean sizes lost: 20 (size 34 to size 14)
Waist inches lost: 28 in
Hips inches lost: 35 in
Neck inches lost: 4 in
Shoe size lost: 1.5 sizes

My husband isn't obese but now I want him to get the sleeve!

Woah nelly!! I don't mean this to sound harsh, but ... HELL NO!
I had this surgery at 42. I tried every diet out there and successfully lost 60, then 80, then 90 pounds "on my own". All those lost pounds struggling through diets killed my metabolism and the regain was fast each time.
My mind was on food constantly and that alone was unhealthy, not to mention the damage I was doing to my back, knees and feet. I lost years of opportunities because I was too fat to participate fully in my life and the lives of my kids. I tried and I was always active but it wasn't what it could have been.
I look back through pictures of my family and I was "missing" for a good decade because I didn't want to be caught on film. How sad is that?
WLS gave me back the fullness of my life and I DID "do it on my own". Seriously. I did the pre op, I had the procedure, I followed my post op diet, I literally exercised my ass off ... Tell me who did it for me. No one. I did it ON MY OWN.
My sleeve is a tool. Hearing aids are a tool. Your car is a tool. Washing machines are a tool. Insulin pumps are a tool. Defibs are a tool. Air Conditioning is a tool.
Why would you not utilize a tool if you honestly need it?
As far as "fat acceptance"? Tell me one good thing being fat ever did for me. Oh wait. I floated better in the pool and big waves didn't knock me over. Other than that? Being fat -- accepting fat -- did nothing for me physically or mentally.
Doesn't sound like it's doing anything for you, either.

sugar free preserves!

So last night was "Meet the Teacher" night at my youngest two kids High school. Hubby was out of town, so I was splitting up their schedules and doing double duty.
First of all- I'm wiped out this am lol. Their school is huge and spread out- and I was running between classes to get to each teacher like a bat out of hell.
The NSV's-
1)I did it! Easily!!! From one end of campus to the other, up and down flights of stairs, happily moving through the throngs of people and not ever needing a "rest break" due to pain or inability to walk that much;
2)I ran across tons of people I haven't seen since I began my journey and as I'm waving hello to them, I get a blank look- and then I realized they didn't recognize me!!! Love it!!!
Even sick, I was very involved in my community so believe me, there were TONS of people I know that this occurred with last night. Most, upon realizing it was me, were shocked and pleased for me, and it was, plain and simply, exciting and motivating.
The downside, I have a cousin I grew up with and live close to- two of our kids are the same age and go to school together. To this day she has not said one word to me about my transformation- nor do I now expect her to. We sat next to each other in a class last night and as one mom friend was congratulating me and gushing over my loss, my cousin just sat there and said zilch. Jealously? Perhaps. But at this moment in time I have decided ***k it- leopards,spots you know?
Finally- all that extra running and chasing for 3 hours last night on top my regular workout? scale dropped 2 lbs this am!
Love love love my new life!!!
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Bleach is your friend. It will kill the c.diff, so use it on every bleach-safe surface, especially in the bathroom. There are a couple of other cleaners that can be used on surfaces that can't be bleached, but I'm pretty sure they're not standard cleaners, it's special stuff we had in the hospital.
Alcohol gels WILL NOT KILL IT. Make sure everyone who comes into contact with you knows that. Soap and Water, with the soap being used for 30 seconds before rinsing, is the only way to get it off your hands. Even if someone wears gloves, they still need to wash their hands.
I don't know what to advise as far as moving house, unless you can put it off until the c.diff is cleared, or if you can have other people do the packing and moving after you have someone come in to do a deep cleaning of the house?

If you look hard enough. You can find Bari friendly food. I am 6 mo out. Very tasty. Eating at cat cora kitchen at sfo.
Fish wrap in butter lettuce with Tomato and cucumber tzatsiki.
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So sorry for your difficulties. Praying for you.
As for the bills- file bankruptcy. See an attorney and get a fresh start. Too many others do it " just because". To me, it seems like it would make a world of difference in your lives and you are who it was designed for- a tool to help you make a new go at it.
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One year ago today I made the biggest decision of my life thus far. There are only a handful of people that knew and to this day, only close friends and family. I made the decision to get healthy for not only myself but for my future husband, our future children and our overall life together. I was a serious yo yo dieter, constantly up and down with my weight. So in August of 2015, after months of research and doctors appointments, I had gastric sleeve surgery. To this day, I haven't told many people out of fear of judgement, embarrassment and being told "why didn't you just eat right and exercise like everyone else". Well, I had and couldn't lose the weight. So no, this most certainly was not the easy way out, it was by far the hardest thing I've ever done.
Happy to say as of today, one year ago I started my journey at 234 lbs and today I weigh in at 145 lbs for a weight loss total of 90 lbs and I've never felt better, inside and out. I'm finally excited to see myself in my wedding dress in 2 weeks.  

You aren't a failure. I am not a failure. Our bodies needs are just not compatible with the modern food-abundant society. We evolved to survive times of famine. Unfortunately (or fortunately) most of us in developed countries will never have to experience true famine. Our bodies are not aware of this.

Once I said that I'm getting it done, so many people were telling me about their experiences. I had no idea that they had it done. In the past, I have worked with 4 nurses from different hospitals that had it done. Every person except for one reached their goal weight.

Note to self: I don't have to take this day all at once but rather one step, one breath and one moment at a time. I am only one person.

I love it. Sometimes I add salsa to it.

Note to self: I don't have to take this day all at once but rather one step, one breath and one moment at a time. I am only one person.

Prior to surgery and the months following, our diets are so restricted and very planned out for us. A question I get asked a lot is what do you eat now that you are a ways out from surgery? So I decided to make a list of recipes and snack/meal ideas I use now at almost 4 years out. Remember, I eat six meals/snacks a day.
Breakfast:
Frittatta with Ricotta and Mixed Greens- omelet Nonfat greek yogurt with fruit and granola. oatmeal (old fashioned oats) with cinnamon and banana One piece of whole wheat or 9 grain bread with Almond/Peanut butter Turkey bacon with egg whites and salsa Special K Protein Cereal with almond milk, or 2% milk Any kind of Breakfast smoothy with Protein Powder Protein shake Morning Snack:
Apple Slices and Almond/peanut butter Apple sauce Fruit- bag or grapes, orange, pear, banana, etc. Protein Bar Homemade protein bites- meat and low fat cheese and wheat thins and a cookie. dinner left overs. Grilled chicken Cesar Wrap (homemade) Tuna fish with low fat mayo, apple and pickle relish with wheat thins. Grilled chicken salad over spinach and kale with veggies and lite dressing. Turkey Meatball sub with heart smart marinara sauce, low fat Parmesan cheese and whole grain/wheat hogey roll. Grilled chicken fajitas and veggies on a low carb, wheat tortilla. Quinoa with black Beans and corn- Jerky Low fat string cheese Sunflower Seeds Protein bar/shake Sweet Snack Rice Cakes Low Fat popcorn (Smart Pop) Celery and Almond/Peanut butter Veggies with lite ranch Hard Boiled eggs Sliced avacado Dinner:
Turkey Chili- pizza Frittatta- pineapple juice and cayenne pepper, served with a slice of grilled pineapple and steamed or grilled veggies. Any type of grilled fish with mango salsa. Baked pork chops over apple pie filling with roasted new potatoes and asparagus Evening Snack:
Low fat greek yogurt with honey or fruit Cottage cheese and fruit chocolate milk Sweet treat Peanut Butter Spoon Protein Shake Fold over Peanut Butter and banana sandwich on whole wheat or whole grain bread. By no means is this all I eat, but this is a list of my favorites and most used. If you have any questions about recipes or preparation or possible calorie and protein amounts just let me know. Hope this helps.

Soft and semi solid foods will fill you up A LOT in the few weeks post surgery because there is a lot of swelling and restriction. Even a tiny bit of mashed banana will make you uncomfortably full (in most cases) whereas when it's blended up and broken down into a liquid, you'll fare better. This improves week by week. I'd save it just for the fact that you won't enjoy it because it's kind of uncomfortable when you first discover your sleeve "restricting", at least it was for me.
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A french fry.
Had taken my son to McDonalds for lunch on the run.
I'd ordered a grilled chicken sandwich and a bottle Water for later. It was part of the combo with the intention of giving my son the french fries from my meal. I pulled them outa the bag and gave them to him....reached back in the bag for my sandwich (their Artisan Grilled chicken sandwiches are really quite good. I toss the lettuce and bun.) and found a couple fries left in the bag.
I ate them.
At first they had that perfect crunch and then as I chewed I began to get past the salt explosion and something else came to the surface. It was the flavor of grease....oil......and it was overpowering. I finished those two fries and grinned....knowing that I was done with them for good.
'Twas a most excellent cheating experience as it allowed me to experience a food that I used to overeat.....and see that I no longer cared for it at all.

Are you in the states? World Market has a plethora of the Torini sugar free syrups- including pumpkin spice ????????????
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