LolaSerena

These comments are the main reason I haven't told many people, because people are rude and have no filter. My mom and sisters only know and I made them swear to never let anyone know. People comment on how much weight I lost and it does make me feel uncomfortable and I can't imagine how many more questions and comments they would have of they knew. I tell them i been on a diet for months and they are just noticing the weight loss now and that I cut down my portions and mainly eat Protein which is all very true.

When someone says "did you try diet and exercise first?" Im going to be like-
"No way! I don't wanna have to give up my favorite foods! And the gyms wayyyyy to much work. I'd rather just have my stomach chopped off...."

My mom asked me last night, "are you doing this just to look better?". Now, do you think my insurance would cover at 100% just to make me prettier??

I just had revision surgery. Sleeve to RNY. I didn't hide it. I was miserable with GERD prior to the revision. A friend of mine had the nerve to say...
"Oh man... Gastric bypass people look like bobble heads.. Your going to have a bobble head"
Um really? My husband said the look on my face was priceless. Like a cross between did that just come out of your mouth and are you really that effing stupid?
My face let's me hide nothing about what I am thinking! Lol

@@MichJohn77 - WOW! You showed great restraint by not backslapping her. That is one of the worst / funniest ones I have heard!

I'm in a long distance relationship too! I've been asked this more than once. Lol it makes me laugh so hard!

I am 3 weeks post op and ready to go back to work on Monday called my boss to let her know( by the way she is an RN) and she asked me how many calories I was eating a day and told her between 600-700. And her answer to that was "that is not enough calories to sustain good health". Really, as a nurse you think she would know better on what happens when you remove three quarters of your stomach and it only holds 4 ounces.

My reply to "You Lost Weight" ..........."thanks for noticing"....Ive worked really hard. If they say "wow you look great"....just say thank you...and own the compliment. And move on

So to avoid uneducated comments I have decided to NOT inform certain people about my journey. For now Its my husband and kids(all for it, extremely supportive ), two best friends, and my insurance broker (she comes in handy) Who am I on the fence about and havent'told, my brothers and my parents. Why...........well, I can just hear it now. Everything everyone said in the above comments, and I don't need that now while I am trying to focus on myself for the first time in a long time. Sadly mom manages to make a situation that has nothing to do with her, about her. Don't get me wrong love her etc. but everyone elses situation magically becomes all about her. I do think my dad will be fine with it, I just am not ready. I need to stay mentally focused on what Im doing here. We all need to stay focused on ourselves. This is a major decision for all of us going through this. And the last thing we need are the nay sayers of the world giving us "mind frick" to shoot us down because of THEIR insecurities and failures. So for those who are just beginning this don't feel like you have to divulge everything about this, it is no ones business but your own.
Surgery date is Oct 12th!
I'll let you know how it goes if I do tell them

I am in a long distance relationship. Someone said to me, "after you lose weight, are you going to meet someone local?"
::blinkblink::
Sure, because the reason I'm in a long-distance relationship is because I can't get a man that wants to see me more often since I'm so fat!

You simply say why yes I have thank you how is xyz... (Thing happening in their life) and keep it moving I also remind myself( often muttering under my breath that I'm gonna need the bail money for my new wardrobe ) it really helps keep me sane when I wanna bitchslap ppl when they act so crazy and want to keep asking questions when I clearly don't have an interest in discussing it with them

@@Jazziminna - Yes he does need to step up his game. Remind him the three biggest causes of ED - weight/smoking/lack of exercise. If he wants to be in "the game" he better get moving. I feel like I'm 19 again at 52, so watch out. (yes I am the "reformed whore at the revival service" here...I used to smoke too)

I still have a ways to go to get the surgery and my significant other mentioned what I am doing to a friend of his and he swore I don't look like I need to lose enough weight for surgery lol we just got a big giggle out of it, I had only met him a few times so I actually liked the fact that's size was not something he noticed ???????? so far everyone I have told has been excited for me..

My temper wouldn't tolerate most of these comments. I'm too pretty for jail, so I'm glad I kept my surgery to myself.

My overweight husband said this... "So when you lose all of the weight I'll have a smoking hot wife, maybe then you'll feel like getting intimate more often." My response, "Maybe, I've had my eye on a couple of guys, I'm just waiting for the right moment." LOL He really needs to step up his game and give me something smoking too!!

Omg!!! Lol, reading what some people say is hilarious. Otherwise it's sad and hurtful.
People have really only said that they were scared for me. I had to explain. Their has been no wls deaths hospital (so far). My friend is a bill coder at the same hospital and she said that my surgeon is one of the best. I'm in good hands.

"that's not fair, you cheated" and "Who was your surgeon? Would you recommend him? I really need to lose 10 lbs" (said in perfect seriousness by someone who is maybe a size 2 at her most bloat-y time of the month).

This is me, 7 months post-op..79lbs lost

I'm pretty much on the same boat as Diana except my mother started the criticism when I became a teenager. I didn't tell anyone in my family and I never will. I had my surgery May 9th and my husband was there for me. He was supportive and told me it was my decision whether or not I wanted to tell my family. My mother makes everything about her. When I initially mentioned that I was participating of weight loss classes and that if I didn't lose enough weight I would consider the surgery she went off on a drama queen attack.
It helped that my closest family member lives 400 miles away and my parents are 4000 miles away.
LS

I had to file paperwork with the principal at my school so I could have the time off and get subs scheduled. I have enough sick days, just had to get the principal to sign off. He did so without question, until I was almost out of the office, the quietly said, "Um... is everything OK?" I just said, "Oh, yes, nothing serious." He looked relieved and said, "OK, good," and he let it go at that. I am 99.9% sure he asked because he is a genuinely nice guy who is concerned about his faculty.

Ugh. I did tell my boss, and ONLY my boss. I trust her, and I didn't want to have to do FMLA (either way I have to use vacation/sick time, so why go through the hassle?). So I just explained why I was having the surgery and why I needed to be out, and let her know that I may need some flexibility when I come back to work.
She wouldn't have asked if I hadn't told her though. I understand having personal relationships with co-workers and bosses, but there are some lines that should not be crossed!

Sorry -- the ACA (Affordable Care Act) doesn't apply here either!
In any event it's inappropriate if asked in an official sense, and she didn't push the point so there isn't much to complain about. Better if it comes up again since she's a newly minted supervisor and also a friend to say "you know, as a supervisor you can get in trouble with HR asking about this sort of thing -- we're friends but don't let someone else file a complaint because you made this mistake".

I have been using that Einstein quote for a few weeks now. It definitely applies in this instance. You. Did. Good. I'm learning that boundaries that are safe for us can feel uncomfortable even when used appropriately in this case. I'm with you on this one; I am in the same place with regard to what I share with supervisors and coworkers. Only ONE person at my job knows, and she was the one who inspired me to consider WLS after becoming friends in graduate school years ago. This is you life, and you owe NO ONE your personal information. Kudos to you for keeping your business to yourself.

Her question violates the rules around ADA, ACA, HIPPA and FMlLA. You could file a complaint
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