katanne

This is almost 14 months after surgery. I am 74, and happier than I've ever been. Walking daily only 30 minutes, but loving it. With work and determination, this is life-changing surgery. You are never too old either. I even had a glass of wine and a piece of cake for my birthday and didn't gain anything. Feeling blessed.

Unfortunately, many people who enjoy overeating like to see everyone around them overeat as well (maybe so they can pretend it's normal to eat that much?).
My only experience was with a friend's husband who basically mad an ass of himself by continually asking me "Is that all you're eating?" in a loud and rude tone. He didn't know about my WLS, but did know I was on a "diet" so of course that was all I was eating! I just kept replying "Yes, and when I'm all skinny next year you'll remember how I got there!" Mind you, he ate 4 or 5 slices of pizza on top of appetizers and a few beers, but he was the one commenting on what I ate! LOL!!
When this happens, don't be embarrassed as I'm sure everyone at the table was thinking your host was the rude one!
A positive story was a recent dinner with some girlfriends, and as we perused the menu, one of them asked me what I was getting (fish tacos) and then ended up ordering the same thing. I did my usual of leaving the tortillas on the plate and using a fork to pick out the good stuff. I didn't even notice that she was doing the same thing until she said "I want to look like you, so I'm doing what you are doing!" and she thanked me for inspiring her to eat healthier. So ignore the rude people, do your own thing, and you never know who you are inspiring!

Hey everyone. I hope that y’all are doing good.

So the other day, my little girl came to give me a hug. I was standing at the time and all of a sudden she got really excited and said “mommy, I can put my arms all the way around you now”!!!! It might be dumb to some but it made me so happy and I had to hide my tears from her!

Also, tonight!!!! I took a very comfortable bath for the first time in a very looonnnng time! Before, I couldn’t even sit comfortably in the tub.

Yep. Big time. I was going to have my surgery in 2016 and got cold feet. Starting over with medical weight management for my insurance company. Hoping to get sleeved in September.

Yep. Big time. I was going to have my surgery in 2016 and got cold feet. Starting over with medical weight management for my insurance company. Hoping to get sleeved in September.

Over the last few weeks, I've seen a number of posts about "cheating" on the diet plan in the days and weeks immediately following surgery, and I am very concerned about this trend.

I am not a doctor, I do not play one on TV, and I am not dispensing medical advice.

However.

I am a registered nurse, and what I'm about to say is an informed and educated opinion.

Surgeons tend to give VERY detailed instructions about what to eat after a stomach surgery, and for VERY good reason.

Even when the surgery is arthroscopic and looks to be a very tiny surgery on the outside, it's a VERY BIG surgery on the inside. The VSG surgery leaves a staple/suture line the entire length of the stomach. That incision has to heal, and if you could see it, it would look like raw beef. If the incision were on the outside, we would be very careful with it, keeping it clean and bandaged while it healed. Of course, it's on the inside, so we can't do that. But we need to keep in mind that it needs to heal in the same way.

We have to eat, and that food will be against that raw incision. At the same time that we have to protect the healing stomach, we also have to get in plenty of fluids and nutrients, specifically Protein, in order to support healing. Protein is the primary building block for tissue, so it's critical to healing. Carbs are mainly just energy sources, so they're not as important, especially given that people having bariatric surgery have plenty of energy in their fat stores. This is why protein is stressed so heavily over carbs in the diets.

Additionally, the stomach is now in a new shape, and it basically has to learn how to function as a slender tube instead of a big bag. There's a learning curve. Kinda like a newborn baby's stomach. We don't dump steak and salad into a newborn's stomach for good reason - it doesn't know how to deal with it. Similarly, we don't want to do that to our new sleeve. We start off with stuff that's easy on the suture line and easy to digest, and as the suture line heals and the sleeve learns its job, start working our way up to "real" food.

So over the years, doctors have learned what foods are best for a healing stomach, and that translates into the post-op diet progression instructions.

Typically, that looks like this: Clear liquids, then full liquids, then pureed foods, then soft foods, then slowly move into a "full" diet beginning with high moisture content foods first. When moving from one stage to the next, it's typically advised to add just one food at a time, in small amounts, and see how it's tolerated. A food that's not tolerated well can be tried later on as well. If an entire stage is not being tolerated, back up to the previous stage for a while, and then try again more slowly.

Surgeons tend to specify how long to stay in each of these stages, what types of food make up each stage, and how to transition to the next stage. Every surgeon's instructions are a little different, and it's based on their experience and sometimes changes based on the patient's specific medical case.

The general idea in the very early weeks is to eat foods that will not stress the healing suture line, and do not have particles that are known to cut into the raw tissue or get embedded into the suture line. If a cut or embedded food particle gets infected, it can become an abscess and develop into a leak. A leak can be life threatening, and at the very least cause the patient to have to be hospitalized and possibly have more surgery to correct it. Foods that are particularly known to cause issues are those that swell up like rice, have seeds like strawberries, or have rough hard edges or hard to digest fibers like wheat crackers or raw vegetables.

There are people who eat all sorts of things against their doctor's orders and have suffered no ill effects, but this should not be used as an argument that the doctor's orders are not important. Similarly, you will find some people who smoke a pack of cigarettes every day and drink a pint of whiskey every day but live to 100. They are not representative of most people, and should not be used as the example other people follow.

The reality is that some people will develop abscesses and leaks because they ate things before they were cleared to by their doctors, and there is no way to predict who will have the complications and who will not. And the consequences can be as severe as death. It's not common, but that's how bad it can get. That's why the doctors give the instructions they do. They're not just testing you or trying to make your life hard. They are giving you the best information they have to keep you safe.

Violating these orders is not "cheating" on a diet. It's risking your life. I am not being overly dramatic with this statement, it is a fact that it has happened. You are risking your safety and your health if you violate these orders. It's not about "being human", it's not about "food addiction". It's about your safety and your health. It's hard to be on liquids only for 2 weeks (or more). Some people have huge cravings, or "head hunger" as we tend to call it here. Or just want desperately to chew something. No one is saying it's easy. But it's necessary. Distract yourself. Eat/drink anything that's allowed on your plan - freeze it, heat it up, try something that's opposite of what you've been having to shake it up. Walk around the house or the block. Suck on an ice cube. Count to ten or a hundred. Post about how hard it is, and ask people to help you get through it. But muscle through. It's nothing less than your health and safety.

As for why one surgeon will have his patients on Clear Liquids for 2 weeks while another only does 2 days? Or why one will skip a phase entirely? Each surgeon has different experiences that inform his practices. One is not right and the other wrong. They are each operating out of what they were taught and what they have seen in their own patient groups. They may have even modified the plan because of a specific health concern in your specific case. As a patient, you need to fully understand what your surgeon expects, and if you have a problem with the protocols get it straight with your surgeon and team BEFORE you go under the knife.

If you don't trust your surgeon and his protocols, find another surgeon. I personally would question a surgeon who doesn't allow any Protein drinks including the clear ones for 2 full weeks post op (saw that in one patient's instructions on this site) and likely wouldn't work with that surgeon, given what I know about the needs of protein for healing. But after surgery is not the time to be questioning the surgeon's protocols. Get those questions asked and answered to your satisfaction well before the surgery date.

If you are having surgery, and you have not been given your post-op instructions, at the very least for the first 2 weeks post-op, do not proceed with the surgery until you have that information. We have people posting here stating that they were sent home without clear instructions as to what they were supposed to eat or drink, just a vague statement about "full liquids". That is not sufficient information, and instructions should be given WELL BEFORE the surgery, not after. You should fully understand what will be expected in the weeks after the surgery before consenting to the surgery, or your team is not doing their job.

(This ends my sorta rant about post-op diets and "cheating")

Good luck to everyone!

Girl, I am a year out and when I cheat I feel horrible too!! Just remember you got this and tomorrow is a new day!!

I am 3 years postop and went on my first date in almost 10 years back in November. My abstinence was by choice...I love being single and the freedom and independence that includes. Long story short, I said yes just to be polite when a client asked me to lunch. I had no intention of getting serious, or even going in a second date. But he Turned out to be a great guy and we are a hot item now. Anyways, back to your question. I told him about my surgery around the 4th date to explain why I ate so little (and drink so damn much water) He had made dinner a couple times and I didn't want him to think I didn't like his cooking. It is really a nonissue and he thinks it's great that I did what I did in order to be healthy and feel better. He also thinks it's great that I'm such a cheap date and he has no problem sharing appetizers or splitting an entree when we go out.
Good luck, and I guess do whatever you feel comfortable with as far as sharing about your surgery. In my case, he had no problem sharing about his past alcohol problems (been sober 16 years) or the medication he takes for depression, so sharing about my surgery was an easy and natural thing to do. This is definitely the most open, grown up relationship I've ever had. Of course, I haven't dated seriously since my 20's. This is much better.

I kept my surgery secret and even 175 pounds later, no one questions it.
As long as you aren't eating pizza and bon bons and sitting on your butt all day, people don't question how you are losing weight. 95% of the population believes that diet and exercise work, so if you are doing both people will think that is how you are losing weight.
You don't have to tell school or work anything. Tell you then you ill and taking time off. Get a note from your PCP to cover your time off. HIPPA exists for a reason, no one is entitled to know about your health care choices.

Oh me too. I log everything, every bite, every drink, every daily exercise, daily weight, every calorie, every carb, every gram of fat, salt, potassium, nutrients... Etc. It's actually a nice hobby lol.
All about accountability and discipline for me.

Same for me as what @@Heather I and @@Bufflehead said. I ate around 800 calories for the first 14 months, (starting after the first 6 weeks.) At 4 years out, I still need to eat around 800 to lose, maintain around 1200, and gain at anything over that. If I eat 1500-2000, I gain RAPIDLY. I still can't believe it after all this time, and wouldn't believe it if were not happening to me. Some of us just really don't need much to survive and even less to maintain a healthy weight. It's unique for the person, but I've learned from reading these boards that I'm not alone. Misery loves company

My program's rules were:
--first four weeks: stay under 650 calories
--four weeks - six months: stay under 800 calories
--six months - goal: stay under 1100 calories
--do not count calories burned or attempt to "eat back" exercise calories.
I followed those rules and they worked for me. Lost 200 lbs and hit my goal weight.

6-800 is a good range for starters. The online calculators for you TDEE or basil metabolism are a good way to stay fat - they are notoriously optimistic since most only really apply to normal size range people - that extra fat that we are carrying to get us into WLS does virtually nothing toward burning calories. If you were a 300lb body builder the numbers would make some sense, but not as a 300lb WLS candidate. When I was fat, the calculators said that I "needed" anywhere from 3600-4000 calories per day, while my actual stability point based upon food logging was 26-2700 calories per day.
When you were on your pre-op diet at 12-1600 calories, how long was that diet and what kind of loss rate did you attain? - that's a better measure of your individual caloric needs than a calculator. If it was a months long diet as often required by insurance, that can give you some insight into your actual metabolic rate, which can guide you to an appropriate calorie level for weight loss and maintenance. When I wsa approaching goal weight, I was consistently losing 10lb per month, which works out to a caloric deficit of around 1000 calories per day (10lb x 3500cal/lb = 35000 cal per month - divide by 30 days = 1166 cal per day) and indeed, I was losing at about 1100 calories per day and maintaining at 2100-2200 per day. Many, particularly the shorter ladies, will be maintaining in the 1200-1600 range, so you need enough caloric deficit to drive your weight loss to goal.
Also, note that typically your overall metabolism will drop as you lose weight and approach goal - it simply takes less energy to move 150lb around than it does to move 300 lb, so one needs to account for that decline when settling on a calorie range for effective weight loss.

I'm not really counting my calories. I focus on Protein and Water, and keep carbs as low as I can without eradicating them completely. And the carbs I take in are about 90% "good carbs" from fruit or vegetables. Calories do show up on my calorie tracker though, and it varies between 800-1200, depending on how many grams of fat show up during the day. Every now and then, it will gust as high as 1400 or so, but those are few and far between right now. I am 60 lbs away from my goal, which will require approximately 2500 calories a day to maintain.

We are given Protein and Water goals at first because that is where the focus needs to be. Calories can be made up of numerous things that won't help healing and losing. Many people would be very creative with such latitude.
Once on solid foods, my surgeon said 800 - 1000 calories if I wanted to count them. At 6 mths out I still focus on Protein and the calories fall into place at about 800 -900 a day.

Don't be scared to redefine the term "love".
food is simply fuel.....not worthy of love.
People, fun acts, pets, good health......strong relationships.......these are subjects worthy of love.

There's an amazing bakery in New Orleans that makes something called doberge cake and the thought of never tasting it again makes me almost cry. Whenever I run across something I know I'll probably not eat/drink again, I think of something I'm gaining instead. No, I'll never have a slice of heavenly 14-layer doberge cake, but I will be able to fit into a kayak, so when my friends go out for the weekend, I'll be there. I'll be tagged in those pictures, I'll have those memories forever. I won't have a glass of wine on my birthday, but I will fit into adorable knee-high boots and look cute in my birthday pictures. I will go rock climbing with my friends and not be the one huffing and puffing in the back of the group unable to keep up. I will ride a bicycle with my kids. I'll stand around the Water cooler at work and when someone says "I'm training for that 5K in March" I can nonchalantly say "Oh yeah, the Beach Bum Rush, I'm doing that one too," and no one is going to look at me with that patronizing little head tilt and say "Awwww, good for you, I'm sure you'll do great, it's not about how fast you go, it's that you're going to try, lapping everyone on the couch!"

So make a little pocket list of things you'll be gaining. Then when you have a craving or start to worry you're going to give up so much, check out the list and see if the trade-off will be worth it. I bet it always will be.

I'm three and a half years out and I have a glass of wine or two pretty regularly. I can't eat a whole sandwich, but I can usually eat most of a half if I take the top bread off, and I have a leftover half for the next day. As for pizza? I can eat a slice of thin crust, but I usually choose just to eat the toppings. and a bite of crust.
I can do all of the above while wearing my size 8 skinny jeans, or a tankini at the pool without feeling self conscious. I can wear heels all day without killing my feet. I can shop at any store now and I can buy clothes off the rack without trying them on.
So no, I've lost nothing but gobs of fat. The ginormous quantities of food? I don't miss that at all.

I wondered about that too. The truth is that once you're healed, you can generally have whatever food you want, just not in the quantities you used to. There are successful vets here who have lost their excess weight and kept it off, who enjoy a glass of wine, or a small square of really good chocolate. The key is moderation and choice.
For me, eating some of the crap I used to eat wasn't really about my choice. I was driven to eat it. The cravings were out of control. Now, in addition to the surgery, I also started working with a therapist about my emotional eating and food issues months before the surgery. So the surgery isn't the only thing that's contributed, but it's a huge thing.
After the surgery, those cravings were just gone. I used to have a real thing for Little Debbies, specifically honey Buns. When I was cleared for soft foods, hubby and I were at the grocery store and we walked by the display. A voice in my head said "hey, Little Debbies would count as soft food, right? That would be good, grab some" but it wasn't like before surgery, it was just a thought and not a full-on craving. I then thought about what one would actually taste like, and it just wasn't appealing. I was able to walk away without any issue. So the thoughts are still there, holdovers from the old days, but the cravings are gone.
After I was cleared for any foods, I have occasionally tried something that used to be something I would binge on. Like double stuffed Oreos. My tastes truly have changed. It now tastes like cardboard chocolate Cookies filled with vanilla flavored lard. NOT worth precious sleeve space. Now, I got some good Ghirardelli chocolate squares for Christmas. I still love a good chocolate, that hasn't changed. But I wasn't compelled to binge on them. I ate one square and I was good for the day. I've never had Christmas chocolate last past Christmas Day. Other people raided my stash, is the only reason they're gone now.
And I'm fine with it. I don't feel like I'm missing out. I can still have awesome food and drink when I really want it, but it's my choice and not a craving compelling me. What I don't do is waste valuable sleeve space on foods and drinks that aren't worth it.
It's awesome, really.

Honestly letting go of the food didn't bother me as much as letting go of my clothes.
The food part is honestly pretty short. You have 6 months of healing, 12 months to lose the bulk of your weight and maybe about another 6 months to lose some weight. The weight loss phase where your food choices are limited is pretty small in the big scheme of things. Once you get to goal or close you have things you like in moderation. As long as you are good like 90% of the time.
You should think about what you can gain, not what you are losing.
I care more about all my shoes and clothes I gave anyway than any one food.

I want to encourage you by saying that the cravings get SO MUCH better after surgery. Honestly. You won't be giving up a glass of wine forever. My surgeon says that you can start incorporating alcohol back in at 6 mos, but they recommend waiting until you hit your goal. The food cravings really do go away.
Ask yourself: is pizza really worth your health? There are really good Pizza Crust substitutes that you can make with cauliflower that taste great and satisfy the craving. There is always a way around cravings. You can do this!

i'm in law school right now so not college but a lot of similar challenges! i do have my own apartment so i can cook at home but there are so many events held on campus with food and lots of breakfast/dinner meetings/study groups which i'm not sure how i will get out of... I just keep on telling myself that it will be worth it!
I'm getting sleeved next week (which is the first week of the semester) so I definitely think it can be done while in school!

Yes mam! This is my last semester before graduation (getting me capstone project done) I am in school full time, have a full time leadership job, I am a mother of a three year old, a wife, do volunteer work ,etc.... if I can do it all... you can do it too!!!!! Good luck!
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I'm in college rn and timed this surgery to do it over winter break and now I have a nice three weeks before school starts!
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Im thinking about starting ARNP school for my Masters in nursing but im waiting until after surgery because I am already a Registered Nurse and I Remember how hard nursing school was. I honestly don't think I could of done this in school. However you know yourself better than anyone else. So I say go for it.
FutureFitGirl